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Ernie's House of Whoop Ass!
December 27, 2014

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

30 fabulous criminal mugshots -- mostly hot teachers -- you'd mistaken for a magazine cover

post christmas boob dump: one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - nine - ten

December 26, 2014

Insert Your Favorite Day After Christmas Joke Here.

did santa give you a nice new firearm for christmas? 1. send pics. 2. don't forget a to keep it in.

move along folks, there's nothing to see here, just the rock in a onesie singing here comes santa claus on live television

your post-christmas boob dump: one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - nine - ten - eleven - twelve

There are 10 million members at Adult Friend Finder, all of which looking for fun filled action to keep warm this chilly season. Even if you don't want to hook up, sign up for free and check out tons of nude photos and profiles. With 10 million members, you may find the chick next door looking to get laid. And you ladies, don't be shy. Tons of guys are waiting for you, too. Just take the one minute to find some people in the area! So sign up for free then go to your e-mail to confirm your account and get busy!

December 25, 2014

Merry Christmas!

December 24, 2014

Well, I suppose. This Being The Season For Good Will Towards Men, And All.

For some reason, I head a really hard fucking time finding the location of this photo. My initial searche on just the name brought me to this Streetview which looked oddly familiar; so I stepped back a bit and sure enough, it's the same Street View we found when looking for these guys in track suits. Again, when I searched for "Bistro u Rokytky" I'm always redirected to results for "Restaurace U Rokytky". Then I looked up reviews for the bistro, I'm led here and I can see the photo of the front matches up with the architecture -- new signage, but same square brown overhanging balcony and rectangular sewer drains. So I've got the right restaurant, and when I search for the address... FUCKING FINALLY.

If there's one terrific thing you can always count upon with Olivia Munn, is that she's not afraid of wearing ridiculously short shirts on live television. David Letterman, you magnificent bastard.

The Caterpillar D3K LGP Track-Type Tractor delivers superior performance and comfort while reducing your operating costs. The large spacious cab provides a comfortable work area. Intuitive seat-mounted controls are easy to use for greater job accuracy and efficiency. The innovative SystemOne undercarriage reduces maintenance time and costs - significantly impacting your bottom line. The AccuGrade Laser and GPS Systems help you get to grade faster, with fewer passes and less manpower. From first cut to finish grade, the D3K LGP tractor sets the standard.

So instead here's a pretty straight forward challenge: what kind of monkey is this?

Ernie, That book is called "Tasting Beer" by Randy Mosher. Here are pics of the front and back covers. Dave

A Retired Ohio State Trooper shares a beautiful and moving story of a Christmas Eve that made a difference. Rick

The lives of celebrities are interesting even on a normal day, for most of us. But then we have all these entertainment shows where we like to see them invited and hear some more about their spicy lifestyle or something uncommon that happened at some point. Well, get ready for some delights in that direction, as the following list of facts or simply moments in famous people's lives will tell you who refused $2.5 million to let someone else direct a movie, and who bought his wife for 80 cows.

Uno is an American card game which is played with a specially printed deck. The game was originally developed in 1971 by Merle Robbins in Reading, Ohio, it has been a Mattel product since 1992. The game's general principles put it into the Crazy Eights family of card games. The Xbox Live Arcade game was also included as a download code in the Xbox Live Vision Xbox 360 packages, offering multiplayer for up to four players through Xbox Live. Players can join or drop-out of in-progress games at any time, with computer players automatically taking over for any missing humans.

Perhaps a little late for a stocking stuffer, but it'll be nice knowing it's on the way: pick up 1,000 rounds of CCI Subsonic Ammunition 22LR for $59, then use coupon "Add to Cart" to Add this $3 tool that comes with free shipping. This quiet round produces a report that is 1/4 the perceived noise level compared to standard velocity 22 Long Rifle rounds; making this round perfect for backyard plinking, youth shooting, or shooting in areas where noise may be a concern.

It's a little dark but it's kind of like the walking dead meets christmas. Have good one man. John

Found some very old and varied styles of rifles, pistols, and swords all going up for auction. So one of these or a down payment on a car. The WWII M1 with Infrared Sights is pretty slick, but I might have to learn toward the one of the Katana Swords from WWII. –Ryan

From Mary Stevenson, 1936: One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only. This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord, "You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?" The Lord replied, "The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

Old and busted: Jason Mewes as the CLIT Commander. The new hotness: Gazali Jafaar as the MILF Commander. And in semi-related news, HOLY SHIT does Jon Stewart look young.

In North America, a color–shape rating system is used to indicate the comparative difficulty of trails. The easiest slopes at a mountain, Green Circle trails are generally wide and groomed, typically with slope gradients ranging from 6% to 25%. Blue squares are intermediate difficulty slopes with grades commonly ranging from 25% to 40%. These slopes are usually groomed. Blue Square runs make up the bulk of pistes at most ski areas, and are usually among the most heavily trafficked. Amongst the most difficult at a given mountain. Black Diamond trails tend to be steep (typically 40% and up) and may or may not be groomed, though the introduction of snowcats has made the grooming of steep slopes both possible and more frequent.

December 23, 2014

So Long Alek. Here's To A Cure For Celiac Disease.

Well, it looks like future Christmases will be just a little bit darker than that have been for the ten years...

'Tis the holiday season and the Controllable Christmas Lights for Celiac Disease are back online ... for the LAST year.

For over a decade, Alek's Controllable Christmas Lights have been an online festive holiday tradition for millions of Internet users world-wide ... here's an entertaining snippet of just some of the media attention. See how the Christmas Display has evolved from 1999 to present ... and follow along this year on the Christmas Blog.

There are a myriad of hilarious stories through the years ... most notably from 2002-2004 when the technology wasn't quite there yet so I had to do a simulation - finally had to reveal as it got outa hand. There were many "challenges" doing it for real such as getting reliable wireless connectivity to the webcam at the neighbor's house, replacing burnt out lights (one goes out, they all go out darnit!), squirrels chewing through the wires, water causing the GFCI's to trip, swapping X10 Super Sockets in the power panel (often during sub-zero temperatures), dealing with 70+ MPH winds (the greatest enemy of holiday displays is winds), scouring garage and post-holiday 50-75% off sales for lights/decorations/inflatables, dealing with the media (they can be a PIA at times ... but I did enjoy the Heli ride!), the occasional knucklehead on the Internet (more than balanced out by the 99.9% of folks who loved the interactive display), and having my family "put up" with my craziness - "Alek I need to drive out of the garage - can you please move Homer Simpson?"

Three live webcams and X10 technology allows web surfers to not only view the live action, but also *control* 20,000+ lights ... plus inflate/deflate the giant 15' Santa Balloon, Santa on Skis, in a Helicopter, and flying a Plane ... along with Elmo, Frosty Family, SpongeBob SquarePants, and the Homer Simpson Santa - D'OH! The website is totally free (and totally fun) but also raises awareness and funds for charity via optional/voluntary donations - over $80,000 for the Center for Celiac Research. I've supported this world-class research organization for almost a decade and even though I found out last year that the original Celiac Diagnosis of my kids was a false positive (Email me for more details - nutshell summary is medical science is "hard" so not always 100% correct), I'm still helping them raise awareness and supporting research for an eventual cure.

It's been a fun run ... with the best part being the countless messages from people saying it has brought some joy into their lives. But it's time to "retire" and wanted to finish "bright" in 2014. A special thanks to my Mom who flies out most Thanksgivings to help me setup - that's her in the last picture with the "Elmo Santa" she put together out of (literally) parts from Goodwill. And a Happy (decade) Birthday to my wonderful wife Wendy.

Merry Christmas and HO-HO-HO! alek

That's sad news to hear, but I understand. And here's Alek farewell message with more info and adulation from the Griswold fans. So long Alek, and thanks for all the fish!

NYPD Union Chief: We Must Protect Ourselves Because De Blasio Won't


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