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Ernie's House of Whoop Ass!
September 18, 2014

Left Wheel. Blue.

Okay kids, serious business here, because I suspect shit is about go get real before this year comes to an end, and I think we're going to pay a toll soon over what shitty border security we have. So if you aren't taking at least some precautions or making minimal preparations, I think you're doing yourself a disservice. I think for the most part, we'll be able to lean on our gub'mint for the majority of it, but the harsh reality is we can't expect them to catch everything. Not that I think Southwest Florida is big on anyone's hit list, but for you poor fuckers in the larger metropolitan areas, I know I sound like a broken record about having some means to to defend yourself, I ain't just whistlin Dixie.

The Joker is a unique playing card found in most modern card decks, as an addition to the standard four suits: clubs, diamonds, hearts and spades. The often colorful card has a rich history, and varying interpretations depending on specific card games and their rules. Jokers also appear as tiles in some Mahjong game sets, primarily in the American version of Mahjong. It is believed that the term "Joker" comes from Jucker, the original German spelling of Euchre. The card was originally introduced in about 1860 for games of that family to be used as the highest trump.

National Football League Cheerleading is a professional cheerleading organization and popular attraction that can give an NFL team more coverage/airtime, popular local support and increased media image. As of 2014, 26 of the 32 NFL teams include a cheerleading squad in their franchise; 7 teams do not have cheerleading squads: Buffalo Bills, Chicago Bears, Cleveland Browns, Detroit Lions, Green Bay Packers, New York Giants, and the Pittsburgh Steelers. At the end of the day, we don't need to understand the economic or psychological reasons for the existence of NFL cheerleaders to appreciate them. And that's what today's collection of sexy NFL cheerleader GIFs is all about.

At the end of the Vietnam Way, the USS Midway pushed over $10 million dollars worth of UH-1 Huey helicopters overboard and into the South China sea, all so a single Cessna O-1 flown by South Vietnamese Air Force Major Buang-Ly and his family could land onboard. Sound absurd? Well it's true whether you believe it or not! And the O-1 that Major Buang landed is now on display at the Naval Aviation Museum in Pensacola, FL.

I'm at work so I can't check it out until later. Can you find this location? Keep up the good work! Rich

Well first I did some Google image searchging and came across this gallery which will make most grown men weep. Then I stumbled across another picture of the accident, only from a different angle. Notice the front license plate? California. So searching for Skyline Road in California it's only a matter of time until you find one that ends in a T-intersection with a road that begins with the letter "F" and overlooking a hill... viola! The intersection of Skyline Road and Foothill Road, in Ventura, California. You're welcome.

Now let me ask you to identify the manufacturer of these floating foam turtles. I can tell you they are not made by: Nuby, Chunky Critters, One Step Ahead, or Babies R Us.

7 Up is a brand of lemon-lime flavored, non-caffeinated soft drink. The rights to the brand are held by Dr Pepper Snapple Group in the United States, and PepsiCo in the rest of the world. The U.S. version of the 7 Up logo includes a red spot between the "7" and "Up"; this red spot has been animated and used as a mascot for the brand as Cool Spot. A variation, Orange-Up, was available for a short time in Norway during the mid-1990s. It was pulled off the market after 2–3 years. Today, 7 Up Orange can still be bought in Austria and The Netherlands.

Hey Ern. Just a tid-bit on The Fighting Muskies. My Wife is one. New Concord is actually a "DRY" town, with numerous drive-thrus just outside the boundaries. We live about 20 minutes away, with a drive-thru just across the street. Scott, in Zanesville, Ohio.

Have you seen this series of videos on Lego rifles? Lookup "lego lee enfield" on youtube. Could these be considered "assault" rifles? Do they have too many rounds in the magazine? keith

No matter how shitty your day is going, there's always someone whose day is just a little shittier.

Our multi-million dollar fleets of Predators and Reaper drones are quickly becoming the exception rather than the rule. As UAV technology continues its breakneck advance, the cost of producing even high-performance ISR drones is plummeting. This new UAV, for example, is so inexpensive and quick to create that it's practically disposable. Dubbed the Razor by its creators at the University of Virginia, this 1.8 pound, 4-foot-wide flying wing is powered by a single prop and controlled with nothing more than an Android tablet from up to a mile. It can also plot its own autonomous course using GPS.

The Dark Knight? The Empire Strikes Back? Terminator 2? The Naked Gun 2 1/2? Which of these which was the better sequel, in your opinion?

September 17, 2014

Happy Constitution Day!

For those of you unaware, Constitution Day is an American federal observance that recognizes the adoption of the United States Constitution and those who have become U.S. citizens. It is normally observed on September 17, the day the U.S. Constitutional Convention signed the Constitution in 1787 in Philadelphia.

Meanwhile, earlier this week a 26 year old man -- who had previously been labeled as mentally disabled by the state of New York -- tried to admit himself for additional mental health treatment but was refused coverage. Instead of treatment, he was told he should "talk with the president about it." So dressed in Pokemon clothing and carrying his favorite Pikachu doll, that's exactly what he tried to do. He scaled the fence at the White House and was promptly getting arrested. As you laugh, keep in mind a 2014 report by the Treatment Advocacy Center, a nonprofit aimed at removing the stigma of mental illness and barriers to treatment, analyzed the state of mental commitment laws state by state, looking at both the "quality of involuntary treatment laws which facilitate emergency hospitalization during a psychiatric emergency and the availability of court orders mandating continued treatment as a condition of living in a community." Also try to keep in mind that in said report (PDF Warning) New York State received an "F" for Impatient Commitment. Also try to keep in mind that while New York State received an F, and a mentally ill person they shunned was being arrested, the Brady Campaign is now suing various online retailers, much like they tried to do with Armslist. Also try to keep in mind that while New York State received an F, and a mentally ill person they shunned was being arrested, and the Brady Campaign is selling ammunition resellers, again, IT'S FUCKING CONSTITUTION DAY.

And while IT'S FUCKING CONSTITUTION DAY, consider the National Firearms Act of 1934 which was created to regulate short-barreled rifles, referring to a shoulder-fired, rifled firearm with a barrel length of less than 16 inches or overall length of less than 26 inches. In the United States, an SBR is an item regulated by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives as an NFA firearm. It is a federal felony to possess an SBR unless it is registered with the BATFE to the person who possesses it, and merely owning both a short barrel and a legal-length rifle could be construed as intent to build an illegal, unregistered SBR resulting in the 10-year mandatory minimum sentence. So putting a regular rifle stock on this pistol? Yields you a decade in federal prison. Stop and think about that for a minute. Isn't that fucking nuts? But now thanks to our friends at Sig who created the Sig Pistol Stabilizing Brace, we an alternative to federal PMITA prison. In fact you can even pick up complete Radical Firearms pistol/brace packages for just under $600. Why? BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING CONSTITUTION DAY.

Old and busted: Americans jet-skiing through Lake Powell canyon. The new hotness: Canadians canoeing through Quttinirpaaq National Park glacier. And is anyone else a little disappointed the guy on the jet ski didn't go full throttle even for a little bit?

ATTENTION NERDS: The Hewlett-Packard HP-01 was the first calculator wristwatch ever manufactured and sold to the public by Hewlett-Packard. The HP-01 used 9 light-emitting diodes for its digital display. Introduced in 1977 at the height of the LED watch craze, five models were available, two gold filled models and three stainless models. Prices were from $650 to $850, which is the equivalent of $2,500 to $3,300 in 2014 dollars. Most of the 28 buttons on the HP-01 were recessed and were designed to be depressed with a stylus. Prototype production was stopped by the end of 1979, but now a prototype model has recently made its way to eBay where it sold for $14,500.

There are 10 million members at Adult Friend Finder, all of which looking for fun filled action to keep warm this chilly season. Even if you don't want to hook up, sign up for free and check out tons of nude photos and profiles. With 10 million members, you may find the chick next door looking to get laid. And you ladies, don't be shy. Tons of guys are waiting for you, too. Just take the one minute to find some people in the area! So sign up for free then go to your e-mail to confirm your account and get busy!

September 16, 2014

If One Glass Of Red Wine Is Good For Your Heart, Two Must Be Better.

An automated pool cleaner is a vacuum cleaner intended to collect debris and sediment from swimming pools with minimal human intervention. In a suction-type pool cleaner, water pumped out of the pool via its skimmer or drains is used for locomotion and debris suction and returned after being filtered via pool return or outlet valves. This is the least expensive and most popular type. It traces a random course. This type of cleaner is usually attached via multiple segments of 1.5 inch hose to a vacuum plate in the skimmer, or to a dedicated extraction or "vac" line on the side of the pool. The suction action of the pool's pump provides motive force to the machine to randomly traverse the floor and walls of the pool, extracting dirt and debris in its path. The first automatic pool cleaner was a suction cleaner.

Did you know that if every single person on the planet were to simultaneously make 200,000 phone calls, there would be the same number of total connections as a single human brain in a single day.

Muskingum University is a private university founded in 1837, in New Concord, Ohio. It is located approximately sixty miles east of the state capital of Columbus and affiliated with the Presbyterian Church. Muskingum offers more than 40 academic majors. The newest programs launched are digital media design, criminal justice, and engineering. A Bachelor of Science in Nursing program has also been initiated. Muskingum's campus consists of 21 major buildings, a football stadium and a small lake, which all sit atop 225 acres of rolling hills overlooking New Concord. The university's colors are black and magenta and the school's mascot is the "Fighting Muskie" after the the muskellunge, the largest member of the pike family.

In 2007 a German citizen trained his dog -- aptly named Adolf -- to raise his right paw when he was given the command "Heil Hitler"; judges ruled that the man should serve a prison term after suspended jail sentences and fines failed to dissuade him from continuing to display Nazi symbols. The man was sentenced to five months in prison for violating Germany's ban on the Nazi salute.

It looks like this picture was taken in front of The $5 Store on the 200 block Duval street in Key West, looking (to your right) towards the Red Garter saloon, since The $5 Store store sells the key west t-shirts. Rick

Hey Ernie, I got this one! Without a doubt it is an older can of Bavaria Premium. Here is a link to a can from 2009, and I also attached a standalone. Take care. Mike

Ernie, Do you know what make and model of shotgun this is? I can't quite make it out... Rex

Oddly enough, Rex, I can tell you exactly what kind of shitgun that is -- it's 8-shot Mossberg 500 Cruiser. I know this for a fact because it's one of the shotguns I keep loaded and hiding out around my house, courtesy of a traffic contest I won on Armslist. Mine arrived as pictured but I've since removed the pistol grip and replaced it with a full-length synthetic stock. On a side note, I think pistol grip shotguns are only good for busting teeth, busting noses, and music videos, so if anyone wants my unused grip, speak now or forever hold your peace.

And while they might be bright red when they hit your dinner plate, shellfish are usually brown, olive-green or gray when alive and in the wild; the dramatic color change during cooking has to do with the way certain biochemicals inside the shellfish react to heat. Lobsters and crabs have a pigment called astaxanthin in their shells. Astaxanthin is a carotenoid pigment: absorbing blue light and appearing red, orange or yellow in color. While the crustaceans are alive, astaxanthin lies wrapped in the tight embrace of a protein called crustacyanin. The protein holds the pigment so tight, in fact, that it's flattened and its light-absorption properties are changed. These biochemicals get separated when a crab or lobster is cooked. Crustacyanin is not heat-stable, so introducing it to a boiling pot of water or a grill causes it to relax its bonds with astaxanthin, unravel and let the pigment's true bold red color shine through.

I have two words for you: BACON COOKIES.

Ryan Matthew Dunn was an American reality television personality, actor and stunt man. He was a member of the Jackass and Viva La Bam crew. Dunn came to prominence as a member of the CKY Crew along with long-time friend Bam Margera for their extreme stunts and pranks recorded on camera which led to the rise of MTV's Jackass and its three later feature films, which have all been commercial successes. Ryan Dunn died in an alcohol-related automobile accident in West Goshen Township, Chester County, Pennsylvania, on the morning of June 20, 2011, alongside his friend Zachary Hartwell, a production assistant on Jackass Number Two.

Sure Tiger can bounce a ball on his wedge like a pro, but can he drive a ball into someone's pocket, like Rory Mcllroy? They only get a certain amount of balls so he couldn't get a souvenir. I would have held it hostage for his driver ;-) -ryan

Hi Ernie, I'm not sure if you posted this (NSFW) hideous picture of Miley Cyrus because A) She looks hideous B) Her tattoo is misspelled? I could Swear it says "Just Berathe" Do you see it as well? Cheers! Randy

It's here! It's here! More Russian surplus 54R is here! Sportsmans Guide's shipment of $91.19 for 440 rounds (20.7 cents/round) has arrived; now that's not quite as good as Cheaper Than Dirt's 20.2 center per round, but I will never ever forgive CTD for price gouging in the dark days following Sandy Hook. And I hope you don't either. Plus Sportsmans' has a coupon "SH1452" for FREE shipping, which really makes a difference on a 45 lb ammo order.

Today, the Quaker Oats company states that "The 'Quaker man' does not represent an actual person. His image is that of a man dressed in the Quaker garb, chosen because the Quaker faith projected the values of honesty, integrity, purity and strength." However, early Quaker Oats advertising dating back to 1909 did, indeed, identify the "Quaker man" as William Penn, the 17th-century philospher and early Quaker, and referred to him as "standard bearer of the Quakers and of Quaker Oats." Resembling classic woodcuts of Penn's likeness, starting in 1877 the figure was depicted full-length, sometimes holding a srcoll with the word "Pure" written across it. In 1946, graphic designer Jim Nash created a black-and-white head-and-shoulders portrait of the smiling Quaker Man, and Haddon Sundblom's now-familiar color head-and-shoulders portrait debuted in 1957.

Yesterday I linked this list of animals which may have been harmed during the filming of a movie. One those mentioned was Life of Pi where it's alleged the tiger damn near drown, and that really caught me by surprise because there's so much CGI in that movie, I'm surprise they had to put anyone (or anyone) in danger.

September 15, 2014

Ah, The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same.

Sometime Saturday morning, this article came across my news feed as one of Facebook's recommended articles. Also, big fucking surprise Facebook, time to review your algorithm. So I'm sipping my morning cup of java and nursing a small hangover, and then we get the point that really frosts my ass, "The ‘responsible gun owner'- passenger decided that this was a good time to run away, apparently with gun in hand." Look, I can appreciate the fact that some people don't like guns. I can appreciate the fact that some people are even anti-gun. But why the incessant need for these people to use the tongue-in-cheek 'responsible gun owner' label? So in between sips of coffee I decided to do a little Facebook stalking and politely engage the author in a discussion over her choice of words. I was very polite, very non-confrontational, I didn't hit her with a barrage of brutally honest facts, or try to argue the merits of owning a firearm. I simply tried to explain the different between a responsible and irresponsible gun owner. And now I'm blocked.

The Blue Hawaii was invented in 1957 by Harry Yee, legendary head bartender of the Hilton Hawaiian Village in Waikiki, Hawaii when a sales representative of Dutch distiller Bols asked him to design a drink that featured their blue color of curacao liqueur. After experimenting with several variations he settled on a version somewhat different from the most popular version today, but with the signature blue color, pineapple wedge, and cocktail umbrella. Modern recipes for The Blue Hawaii contain made of rum, pineapple juice, blue curacao, sweet and sour mix, and sometimes vodka as well. It should not be confused with the similarly named Blue Hawaiian cocktail that contains creme of coconut instead of sweet and sour mix.

Old and busted: Major Leage Baseball's interactive salary vs performcence chart. The new hotness: National Football's League's players vs crimes chart. You know, there was a time when the Raiders would have ruled this chart -- right along with the AFC West -- but through respectable felonies like stealing cars and starting bar fights, not hitting women. Ah, the good ol days. We already knew Ray Rice had knocked his wife out cold in the elevator of an Atlantic City casino. Now we have all seen the video, so today we should also take a look at 11 other douchebag famous pro athletes accused of domestic violence over the years. Tragically, the list is far from comprehensive, it's just the tip of the iceberg.

The Logitech Harmony One Universal remote is a must have for any self respecting guy. This remote makes setting up and operating any home theater a breeze. The Logitech Harmony one advanced universal remote control is one of the most ergonomically designed remotes we've ever laid our hands on. The large color screen is brilliant and intuitive, simply press one button, be it, play a DVD or listen to the radio and the remote will turn on the devices you need and turn off ones you don't.

Good Morning Ernie, Great site, bla bla. Anyway, saw your post on the Bundy reunion, and ran across this gem. Enjoy! Eric R.

hey Ernie, Here's a cool 3-minute compilation of stuff they would never ever let people do in an air show in the US! Cheers, Charley

I've always known Snoop Dogg's real name was Calvin Broadus. What I didn't know is like me, he's a junior but has a middle name more fucked up than mine.

Okay, I'm a little pissy about this one, as I'm like 99% positive I've featured one of this woman's photos before.... what brand of beer is she drinking? I can't help but think we've done her before, yes? Or, no?

You've worked hard to acquire valuable assets that are important to you. Why risk losing them to fire or theft? Should the unthinkable happen and your home or office is burglarized or catches fire, a quality safe will protect your valuables, important documents, investments, and irreplaceable heirlooms from destruction. And, unlike a bank safe deposit box or secured storage facility, a safe installed in your home provides convenient, ready access to your stored items, day or night. For only $899 shipped right to your door, consider the massive 680 lb Sports Afield 6040 Executive Vault, which offers 60 minute of fire protection with a deluxe door organizer and electronic lock, and 30.6 cubic feet of storage for up to 41 long guns, important papers, autographed copies of Army of Darkness, and other important valuables.

The Pink Panther is the main and title character in the opening and closing credit sequences of every film in The Pink Panther series except for A Shot in the Dark and Inspector Clouseau. His popularity spawned a series of theatrical shorts, merchandise, a comic book, and television cartoons. He starred in 124 short films, 10 television shows and three prime time specials. Owens Corning have featured the character for many years as an advertising mascot for their pink-colored residential building insulation.

Attention holiday shoppers: Microsoft announces Xbox 360 holiday value bundles. Think a 500 GB bundle with Call of Duty: Ghosts and Call of Duty: Black Ops II along with one month of Xbox Live Gold access for $249. You're welcome.

September 13, 2014

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

14 celebrity facts most people don't know - just for men: protect your sexual health by avoiding these 5 bad habits

looking for a deal on an AK-47 that would make ice cube proud? - mcgangbang: 15 secret menu items at mcdonalds

your weekend picture dump: one - two - three - FOUR - five - six - seven - EIGHT - nine - ten - eleven - TWELVE


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