Insert Your Favorite Benelli Weekend Joke Here.

Ernie, I have been a long-time reader and thought it was time to contribute. Here is the story: My girlfriend's Jeep was stolen in San Diego and was recovered the next day in Mexico. The reason they didn't take the spare tire is because I put a lock on it. By the way, they stole the Viper alarm as well. Take care, Dave.

THE SINGLE GREATEST VIDEO EVER - A GUY FIXES HIS PRIUS DEATHRIDE - THANKS ROB!

eduard khil, the trol-lol guy? enjoying his refound fame. still has same haircut.

how macgyver ripped off one of the greatest car chase ever filmed.

the fifteen hottest actresses you will never see naked.

did you know that rogert ebert wrote softcore porn? two thumbs up!

the tramp stamp hall of shame. the ten year old girl? stay classy san diego.

eastereggsforhitler - expertmuffdiver - fallenpalmtree - iraqiglockcop - penguinparty

Yeah It's Raining Here Today. Again. Again, Again. Again.

Where were you when you first saw Kevin Costner's Robin Hood? I was at the theatres on West Ridge Road, right near Mt Read Blvd, putting the schmooze on a chick I worked with at Pet World. Her name was Barbara Rettig. The movie was good, we were laughing and giggling all the way through, and as the movie was coming to an end we both decided to take a drive up by the beach. Things were looking good for our hero! Then the movie ended, the lights came on, we stood up to leave our seats and who was sitting two rows behind us? Her boyfriend's friends. Yeah. Barb wanted to go straight home after that. Goddamn cockblockers. Anyway, I only bring this up because now I'm curious what this latest Robin Hood remake will be like.

And on a world scale, it turns out that not everybody is workin for the weekend. Because here is a list of everyone who is a bazillion times richer than we are. Now compare the average age from that list, to those who made their fortunes via the internet. Yeah, shocking, eh? I'll keep thinking about that while you're strapping my kayak to the roof of my car for a little getaway because let'sbe honest, it ain't like I'm flying off to see the models of Costa Rica anytime soon.

5-Second Films was created by Brian “Boss Man” Firenzi in the Spring of 2005, after being disappointed by so many 5,400-second films. The rules are simple: 2 seconds of beginning titles, 5 seconds of film, 1 second of end titles. If you take umbrage with these 5sfs running at an actual length of 8 seconds, we can only assume you’re no fun at dinner parties. Here is a compilation of the best of the best: Magic Show Volunteer and Mr. Forgetful made me snort coffee on my keyboard, thus delaying this update by eleven minutes.

I'm not sure if I call bullshit on this one. Top Gear has been known to do some pretty cool shit, and here we have Jeremy Clarkson driving a little piece of Eurotrash through a huge sewer pipe and completing a nice barrel roll at 37 mph. The landing looks like it's CGI... yes... no?

What's better than a picture of two girls kissing? A picture of three girls kissing!

Generally I like the Coen Brother's movies but I thought No Country For Old Men was one of the most horrible movies in the history of man. During the few months of the year when every magazine did its "best of the decade" feature, Empire magazine said, "in a perfect world, all films would be made by the Coen Brothers." Well, the pair have already tried their hand at noir, gangster film, screwball comedy, romantic comedy, and musicals (to name a few), but what if the Coens had done Star Wars?

lindsay lohan shows her bra and ass in purple.

why women hate strip clubs. or more to the point, who cares?

remember the $72,000 ducati that tom cruise bought? yeah, someone hit him.

Damn Right I Do. Rockin It Old School.

I'm too short to have ever appreciated backetball, but this is balls out hilarious. At 7'2" and 7'8", the Ivan Brothers have unprecedented size and otherworldly raw talent. The biggest men on any campus, they're about to storm the NCAA tournament and get Medieval on March. Chickens in the pen! Chicken in the pen! It's five minutes you won't regret, trust me.

You know what made me laugh? Christina Hendricks -- a natural blonde, by the way -- was recently quoted as saying, "Anytime someone talks about your figure constantly, you get nervous, you get really self-conscious. I was working my butt off on the show, and then all anyone was talking about was my body!" Honey, I hate to break the news to you, but we aren't fascinated with your body, we're fascinated with your enourmous tits. The rest of you could be a cellulite, wart riddled mass, and we wouldn't care. So here's a picture gallery dedicated to Christina Hendrick's enormous tits natural beauty. You're welcome.

The age of modern technology has turned so many women woman with a digital camera and a mirror into wannabe glamour models. The interwebs are littered with videos of booty shaking babes in their bedrooms and self shot mirror pics of the good, the bad and the ugly in various states of nakedness and seductive poses.

If you're a cat person you might want to avoid the most horrifying things found in the homes of "Hoarders". Hint: Hoarders aren't dog people.

Sooo, Chris Brown doing a commercial for Cover Girl makeup... in poor taste?

real-life hurt locker: how bomb-proof suits (are supposed to) work.

big bertha (howitzer), nasa's crawler-transporter, and the principality of sealand.

I Know A Few Girls Who Are Brokenhearted Right Now.

Everybody who is still alive, raise your hand. What's that? NOT SO FAST, COREY HAIM! Yeah, hunting vampires just won't be the same without you.

Old and busted? Rick Rolling. The new hotness? Well, you'll see.

First it was praying mantis vs goldfish. Now it's praying mantis vs a hummingbird. Note to self? Don't fuck with praying mantises. Just give up your wallet and run.

You know, there was a time when I'd have flamed you just for being Canadian. Ahh, the good old days. Anyway, being a former resident of Rochester, I used to tell people that New York City wasn't really a part of New York state. They're kind of their own little animal down there. And I suppose the same can be said for Texas, in regards to the country as a whole. Yeah, they don't wrap em real tight down there, so don't take anything they say to heart. Me personally, I'm glad the Canadian teams took home gold in both men's and women's hockey. Fuck you guys hosted the Olympics and hockey is the national sport -- of course you're entitled to have a few heroes. I hope the Ruskies do equally well in 2014, because they've got hockey in their blood, too. Besides I think a lot of Olympic events were ruined the moment they started letting professional athletes play in 1988. Now when you see Pavel Datsyuk lace up his skates or Allen Iverson make a free throw, we're just watching another All Star game only with fancier jerseys and more sponsors. When it was all amateurs? Ahhh, that's what made the Miracle on Ice such a miracle.

Speaking of the good old days, remember this old internet staple, what World War II would look like it it had happened in an IRC chat room? It's been passed around via email for as long as I can remember, I posted it to the joke list on July 17th, 1999. Well it's been updated for 2010, with Facebook the medium of choice this time. You have to pay close attention to it though, otherwise you'll miss the build up to subtle stuff like the Malta conference, sinking of the Bismark, and Montgomery's landing in Sicily.

who cheats? docs and stay at home moms.

"when a guy who is 205 lbs punches a midget..."

hate paying for cable? here's where your money goes.

ten years after: a look back at the dotcom boom and bust.