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Ernie's House of Whoop Ass!
October 24, 2014

Well Hello There, HBO. And Welcome To The 21st Fucking Century.

Anyway, I am completely and hopelessly hooked on Colorize, but I don't know if I can turn it into a challenge, since I'm not sure how it records your progress?

HBO is an American premium cable and satellite television network, whose programming consists primarily of theatrically released motion pictures and original television series, along with made-for-cable movies and documentaries, boxing matches and occasional stand-up comedy and concert specials. HBO is the oldest and longest continuously operating pay television service (basic or premium) in the United States, having been in operation since November 8, 1972. At 9:00 p.m. Eastern Time on September 30, 1975, HBO became the first television network to continuously deliver its signal via satellite when it broadcast the "Thrilla in Manila" boxing match between Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier; it was beamed to cable providers in Fort Pierce and Vero Beach, Florida, and Jackson, Mississippi, as well as those already carrying HBO in the northeastern United States.

The HBO logo became iconic due to perhaps the network's most famous program opening sequence, nicknamed "HBO in Space", which was produced in 1981 by New York City production firm Liberty Studios. The original full version begins with a window shot of a family sitting down to watch TV, with the cable box atop their television set tuned to HBO. It transitions to a fly-through over a constructed model cityscape -- complete with a movie theater with an "HBO Theater" marquee that features the logo -- and countryside, before panning towards a star-filled sky; a starburst then occurs, unveiling a chrome-plated HBO logo in starship form that rotates into view; colored light beams encircle the side of the "O" that then reveal its interior, flashing to a partially animated sequence featuring more lights racing counter-clockwise on a silver axis, which reveals the underlined text "HBO Feature Presentation."

In January 1986, HBO became the first satellite-delivered television network to encrypt its signal from unauthorized viewing by way of the Videocipher II system; this initially resulted in a mass lodge of complaints from television receive-only satellite users that previously received HBO's programming without a subscription. Four months later, HBO became a victim of broadcast signal intrusion when satellite television dealer John MacDougall, a Florida man calling himself "Captain Midnight", intercepted the network's signal during a movie presentation of The Falcon and the Snowman and overrode the telecast of the film with a message placed over SMPTE color bars (go to 1:45) in protest of the channel's decision to scramble its signal for home satellite subscribers.

Following the business models of Netflix and Huilu, on October 15, 2014 HBO has fucking FINALLY announced it would launch an over-the-top version of HBO Go in 2015; it will be distributed as a stand-alone subscription service that will not require an existing television subscription to use.

Near Atlanta you can pick up a Paintball/Airsoft Air Mortar and Howitzer, and down in McAllen, texas you can treat yourself to a Ferreari 360 Spider replica made from a.... Mitsubishi 3000GT? But down here in SW Florida, the best I can manage is a big styrofoam box that you have to haul away yourself; hardly worthy of being called some of the most bizarre shit to appear on Craigslist.

The best I can come up with is Shell-o Jots were sold by Bewild.com around 2004-2005 according to the wayback machine. The only other information I found is Katie made some in January of 2004. Rick

Find this gem, Ernie! Rich

Well, when I first did the Googles for "Obama gas station" -- you have to weee through a few urban legends -- but them I came across this article about a gas station in Columbus, South Carolina that renamed itself Obama, but if you look it up on Street view, the geography doesn't match. Plus, if you look in the original photo, there is a neon sign BRIDGE CARD in the window; that of course is the name of Michigan's food stamp program. So, adding "obama gas station michigan" to the mix yields us some promising results: this flickr photo identifies your gas station as the 4th one of its kind in Detroit; this one has a repair shop next to it; while this one has a snack shop behind it. But upon searching out the third one... JACKPOT!

Sometimes, like last year, the World Series is a battle between the two best teams in baseball. And sometimes, like this year, it's a matchup of two Wild Card teams who barely even qualified for the postseason. Either way, there are always World Series WAGS. And that's our focus here today; the lineup of wives and girlfriends yielded by the Royals and Giants is pretty damn solid. Check ‘em out for yourself.

Groszek is a Polish chain of self-service food stores, founded in 2000, and according to their website has in excess of 1100 outlets throughout the country. Which is all well and good, except this website says they only have 411 stores. Either way, I think the odds are too great that we'll ever find out where this picture was taken.

Ernie. Even knowing that I am already welcome ... THANK YOU FOR KATEE OWEN! Kind Regards, Ian

Katee Owen. OMFG!! TYTYTYTYTYTYTY!!!! Randy

A good prank will make you live longer. Of course, if you're the one that's making it and not being mocked by others. Sense of humor is known to be essential for a healthy life, it might even affect our body functions as much as what we eat does. Basically all people who don't laugh die at 35 years of age. That's why cavemen never lasted, they never laughed, unless someone was decapitated by a lion or cut in half by a yak. So the next time your boyfriend pinches your ass right when someone is taking a photo of you, smile and know that that will cure your future cancer.

Pure Silk is moisturizing Shave Cream for women. Available in a variety of deliciously scented fragrances, its rich lather contains ingredients that give you a closer, long lasting shave. Plus, all Pure Silk Shave Creams contain aloe to moisturize your skin giving you the smoothest most touchable legs without irritation.



October 23, 2014

"A Man Walks Down The Street Wearing A Hat Like That, He Ain't Afraid Of Nothing..." Still.

So what the fuck is going on in Canada lately, I thought you people were supposed to be all polite and shit?

Corporal Nathan Cirillo, 24, a part-time reservist serving with the Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders of Canada regiment, was photographed by tourists just minutes before he was fatally injured by Michael Zehaf-Bibeau. That regiment is one of the country's largest army reserve units in Canada and guarding the National War Memorial is part soldiers' ceremonial duties. While they did carry weapons, they weren't loaded, as is the tradition for those chosen to represent their regiments in the nation's capital. The reservists are rotated on an hourly or bi-hourly basis, and it could have been any of the men -- some part-time and others full -- who served the duty on Parliament Hill Wednesday in their Black Watch tartan kilt, Glengarry and other regimental garb. But the fate befell Cirillo, who leaves behind a six-year old son.

The horror in Ottawa began just before 10 a.m. when, witnesses said, a black-clad gunman with a kerchief covering half his face drove up to the National War Memorial in a purple Toyota Corolla with no license plates. The shooter left the engine running as he got out and raced over to Corporal Cirillo, who was standing guard, and shot him twice at point-blank range with what appeared to be a double-barrel shotgun. “The honor guard dropped to the ground, and the shooter kind of raised his arms in triumph holding the rifle,” Tony Zobi told the Canadian Press news agency. Then the killer invaded the Centre Block, the main building of the parilamentary complex.

Once inside, he fired multiple times, sending the building into a frenzy and lockdown. Legislators meeting inside stacked chairs in front of the doors, and terrified bureaucrats and visitors to the complex, scrambled down scaffolding to escape with their lives. The rampage ended when the gunman crossed paths with Kevin Vickers, the sergeant-at-arms for the House of Commons, who presides over his largely ceremonial post wearing green robes, white gloves and a tall, imperial hat while carrying a scepter. He spent 29 years with the RCMP and rose to the rank of chief superintendent, often serving as the face of the national police force in New Brunswick. After the assailant was shot and killed, Vickers entered the Conservative caucus room, where Prime Minister Stephen Harper was at the time of the shooting and explained what happened. Vickers told the room he engaged with the assailant. "I put him down," the former RCMP officer said.

Meanwhile, here in the US, we get to enjoy aggravated kidnapping, sexually assaulting a child, armed assaults, assaulting police officers, conspiracy to commit homicide, aggravated assault using a weapon, and sexual assault.

Hi Ernie. The hottie on the right is holding this beer. I can't figure out which beer her mother is holding. LOL Cheers, Benny

Ernie, The green beer is Lech. The other one, I don't recognize. ~jm

Long time viewer, first time poster, bla bla bla. The two beer cans are Debowe and Lech. gerard

One of Australia's leading brands of fitness equipment, Proteus has been developing & producing fitness equipment for over a 25 years and is currently supplying over 80 Countries worldwide. Their engineers use state of the art technology to develop new concepts in fitness equipment. And I have searched their entire fucking website, and still can't identify what piece of equipment this is. If I didn't know any better, I'd say it was some kind of a gravity board?

Sorry, but I'm not going to make it to Halloween Horror Nights this year. Me and TBL were hoping they'd offer up more new attractions this year -- here are some pictures from the 2013 Walking Dead HHN -- but that doesn't seem to be the case. Look, I love The Walking Dead just as much as the next guy, but at some point, enough is enough.

Toyota issued a second generation of Hilux Surf and 4Runner in 1989 for the 1990 model year, and represented a fundamental departure from the first generation model. Instead of an enhanced pickup truck with fiberglass cap, the new 4Runners featured a freshly designed, full steel integrated body mounted on the existing frame. Nearly all second generation 4Runners were four-door models; however, from launch in 1989 to May 1993, a two-door model was also produced. These models are similar to the four-door models of the time in that the bodies were formed as a single unit, instead of the fiberglass tops used in the first generation 4Runners.

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October 22, 2014

I Belong To The Mind-Your-Own-Fucking-Business-And-I'll-Mind-Mine Party.

When it comes to enjoying a good drink, the brand of the liquor doesn't matter. If anything, with certain boozes, you're actually better off going with the smaller, lesser-known brands than the big ones everybody knows. Of course, when it comes to making money off people enjoying a good drink, the opposite is true. It's the brand the server chooses, not the subtle notes of oak and vanilla. On that note, today we're going to take a look at the most valuable liquor brands according to Brand Finance. Are they the finest spirits money can buy? Well, some of them are excellent, but in general, no.

When I Google Shell-O Jots the only thing I can find is this picture with a jar of tomato sauce and this note which says the Shell-O Jot kits are sold by bewild.com, but I search their site and no dice. So I don't have any idea where this girl got hers from. Any info would be appreciated.

Looking for a small 9mm semiautomatic to carry concealed? Right now you can get a killer deal (heh) on a Springfield XD9 DAO Subcompact 9MM with 13 round magazine and hard case, for only $339 + 6 shipping. In fact, if you act before 31 October, Springfield has a mail in rebate for 3 extra magazines and a magazine pouch.

And if you think San Francisco has better food that Kansas City, you can go ahead and punch yourself in the fucking face. You can keep your sisig burritos and kimchi tacos, or whatever other hipster foodie nonsense your fusion food trucks are coming up with. Give me a rack of ribs slathered in that sweet smokey KC BBQ sauce and I'll be happier than a pig in shit. So the food is just one of the many reasons to jump on the Kansas City bandwagon this World Series.

Okay, I've got another impossible one for you. Let see if anyone can identifying the restaurant this woman is enjoying a glass of wine at. Not many clues to go on for this one so I've provided a few blown up images of the window signage and a neon sign from the background.

I'm going with Thunder Tiger RC Boat Outlaw OBL -- I can't find a pic of the same box, but definitly Thunder Tiger in manufacturer and the only thing list starting with an O is the boat. Note picture of dude on bottom of page 2 seems to match. Big fan Ernie! TJ in Okla

The item is actually an RC boat. The OUTLAW OBL made by Thunder Tiger. Here is a rather small picture showing the box. And the picture in the lower left corner on the box is none other than Hydro World Champion Jorgen Andersson! Keith

And there are still no takers on identifying these two beers.

Typhoon Trami was a large tropical cyclone that brought heavy rains to Taiwan and East China during mid-August 2013. On August 21, gale force winds struck heavily populated areas in northern Taiwan as Trami tracked in a westerly direction. The system brought torrential rainfall to the area, with Taipei receiving 12 inches of rain. A landslide occurred in Hsinchu county, trapping 70 residents, injuring 10 people, and forcing more than 6000 had to evacuate homes. Despite gusty conditions, heavy rainfall and major flooding, Typhoon Trami only caused minor damage in Taiwan.

If you have the possibility of choosing your car's license plate, you might as well make it creative. Like these guys have done. It's an easy way to make a pun, one that will stay with you for a veeery long time. So actually, when you think about it, this kind of plates are for people who really love one joke. You know, the kind that if you're close friends with you're gonna hear them repeat the same half-amusing joke with anyone new they meet. BCHPLZ.

One Hundred and One Dalmatians, often abbreviated as 101 Dalmatians, is a 1961 American animated adventure film produced by Walt Disney based on the novel by Dodie Smith. The 17th in the Walt Disney Animated Classics series, the film was originally released to theaters on January 25, 1961 by Buena Vista Distribution. The film features Rod Taylor as the voice of Pongo, the first of the Dalmatians, and Betty Lou Gerson as the voice of Cruella de Vil, the film's antagonist. The plot centers on the fate of the kidnapped 99 Dalmatian puppies of Pongo and Perdita.


October 21, 2014

And Having Enough Beer is Even More Importantlier Than That.

So I caught the second episode of The Walking Dead and as the group was rescuing Gabriel from the rock, decided to give Daryl and his crossbow a little thought. A modern crossbow shoots a bolt somewhere around 425 ft/sec (289 mph). This compared to the fastest compound bow, which can reach speeds of 360 ft/sec (245 mph). Keep in mind this compares to average run-of-the-mill 9mm ammo which is 1100 ft/sec (750 mph). So that got me to thinking about when Daryl was shooting at humans -- the Governor's clan, the cannibals from Terminus, etc -- would it even be possible to dodge one of his arrows? So I did some searching and found this guy who set up a POV camera on an archery target, and let me assure you brother, you ain't dodging shit. And of course, if you are looking for 9mm ammunition, look no further!

If you're new to gardening and not sure where to start, growing herbs is an easy way to get your green thumb going. There's no large plot to prepare or maintain (which can be daunting for newbies) and by growing different varieties, you'll gain experience working with plants that have different watering and care needs. You can make a charming outdoor display and grow your own herbs at the same time: use enamel coated metal coffee cups as pots -- drill a hole in the bottom first for drainage-- paint in cheery colors then place on a balcony for a lovely display.

Every fan enjoys some good film Easter Eggs and Disney has a ton of them. Not only are they making a lot of sexual innuendos, educating children to think about penises from an early age, but they also prepare us for glitches in the Matrix. And this, of course, is a conspiracy from their side in order to feed us with repetitiveness so much that we eventually become robots. Animations about princesses and cute little animals? Pure evil, obviously!

American Gladiators is an American competition television program that aired weekly in syndication from September 1989 to May 1996. The series matched a cast of amateur athletes against each other, as well as against the show's own gladiators, in contests of strength and agility. The concept was created by Dan Carr and John C. Ferraro, who held the original competition at Erie Tech High School in Erie, Pennsylvania. They sold the show to The Samuel Goldwyn Company (later MGM) where the concept was enhanced and became American Gladiators. An effort in 2004 to launch a live American Gladiators show on the Las Vegas Strip became mired in a securities fraud prosecution.

Being left-handed makes someone special, that's a fact. Especially in sports. But in real life even the most normal things can become very frustrating. Sure, Kurt Cobain was a great left-handed guitarist, but I bet he had problems with his can opener. Because there isn't really enough time or space to make this more than a world for right-handed people. So a good piece of advice would probably be to become ambidextrous.

Huh, based upon their website results, Target no longer offers a 22 3/8" x 34" frame.

Last Saturday I thumbnailed a video of some ridiculously hot chick dancing to Golden Earring's Radar Love. And as stacked as she was, it was a shitty quality video... grainy, jumpy, bad contrast. Today I found (a) a much higher quality version and (b) her name is Katee Owen, and she has a pretty fantastic Twitter account. You're welcome.


October 20, 2014

Let's Just Say You Grew Up With Different Pets Than I Did.

Is this guy wearing a t-shirt of himself? Because if he is, that's pretty fucking awesome.

The Intrepid Sea, Air and Space Museum is a military and maritime history museum with a collection of museum ships in New York City. It is located at Pier 86 at 46th Street on the West Side of Manhattan. The museum showcases the aircraft carrier USS Intrepid, the submarine USS Growler, a Concorde SST, a Lockheed A-12 supersonic reconnaissance plane, and on December 12, 2011 ownership of the Space Shuttle Enterprise was officially transferred to the Intrepid Sea, Air and Space Museum. The Museum serves as an event space for community and national events. Visiting warships dock at the cruise ship terminals to the north, and events are held on the museum grounds and the deck of the Intrepid.

Sure, there's nothing more I'd like to do than swing by Cheers after work, but trust me, the last fucking thing I'd order is a double India Pale Ale; I fucking hate IPAs.

So you've decided to splash the cash on what some call “lazy shopping”? You need to buy new clothes but you're afraid to go out in the real world and try them out before purchasing? Well then you're probably gonna do some online shopping. But “size doesn't matter” is not a saying that goes well with clothing, though, as you will be surprised to find out. And Photoshop is also inapplicable. So take a look at these photos to see what you might get.

I never thought I would find the Caje Byliny but I did. Address: Haškova 5, 170 00 Prague, Czech Republic. Here is their web site. Rick

Hey Ernie, The Caje Byliny in question is close-by (about a half mile) from the one that comes up in searches. It's at 5 Haskova, Prague. There have been a few changes in the businesses, dish antennas, and parking signs since this street view was taken. John in Melbourne, FL. PS: I hope you guys still have the energy and patience to run LBEH again this year.

Okay with all the Redkins controversy lately, I was a little reluctant to do this photo challenge, but since everyone loves a rebel, I decided to post it anyway. Can you identify what team logo is on this t-shirt? And to be fair, I don't know if that's a selfie taken in a mirror or not, so the logo may or may not be reversed.

The Soup is a weekly American television series that airs on E! since July 1, 2004. The program is a revamped version of Talk Soup that focuses on recaps of various popular culture and television moments of the week. The show is hosted by comedian Joel McHale, who provides sarcastic and satirical commentary on the various clips. A number of clips have been repeatedly shown on The Soup. One clip features Oprah Winfrey saying "My va-jay-jay is painin'!" while hanging from a harness at the Miraval resort. Another clip involves Whitney Houston yelling "Kiss My Ass!" at her husband. McHale has mentioned that this clip is one of his favorites.

Ernie, You saw a picture on my facebook of a derailment at Clayton, WY. Here are 5 more that have been taken at the site. The reason this derailment happened, the company that is contracted to unload the coal trains at the Dave Johnston power plant in Glenrock, WY were attempting to switch some cars on the loop. They left 120+ cars full of coal and the DP (distributive power) with the DP fence up in isolate, and the air bottled, with no brakes securing the train. Because the train was not allowed to go into emergency, the air bled off, releasing the brakes, and the train rolled backwards about a quarter mile over the split point derail and coming very close to the Main Track. Ralph

Attention all international beer drinkers, can you identify both cans of beer? My spidey senses tell me to think European.

In American auto racing, this is how two drivers react after a crash. In Australian auto racing, this is how two drivers react after a crash. Sheesh, you'd almost think they were Canadian, "Sorry." "Sorry." "Sorry." "Sorry."

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