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Ernie's House of Whoop Ass!
September 21, 2017

It's All About The Bollocks.

Pieing is the act of throwing a pie at a person or people and when non-consensual, is a punishable offence in criminal law, and depending on jurisdiction is a battery but may also constitute an assault. Although pieing may be intended as a simple practical joke, it can be a political action when the target is an authority figure, politician, or celebrity and can be used as a means of protesting against the target's political beliefs, or against perceived arrogance or vanity. Perpetrators generally regard the act as a form of ridicule to embarrass and humiliate the victim. In pieing, the goal is usually to humiliate the victim while avoiding actual injury. For this reason the pie is traditionally of the cream variety without a top crust, and is rarely if ever a hot pie.

A tent city is a temporary housing facility made using tents or other temporary structures. Informal tent cities may be set up without authorization by homeless people or protesters. As well, state governments or military organizations set up tent cities to house refugees, evacuees, or soldiers. Tent cities set up by homeless people may be similar to shanty towns, which are informal settlements in which the buildings are made from sheets of plywood and corrugated metal, tarps and sheets of plastic, and other scrap building materials.

One of my favorite movies of all time is Shawshank Redemption, and from that movie, one of my favorite supporting roles is Brooks Hatlen, a very reasonable man played by veteran actor James Whitmore. In addition to almost opening up Heywood's throat, Brooks -- and his baby crow named Jake -- is responsible for a memorable catch phrase that that I use quite often; Easy peasy, Japanesey. I know, not very politically correct, but don't forget Brooks had been imprisoned in 1905 and had 50 years of incarceration under his belt. So anyway, in honor of Brooks, I present to you: EASY PEASY and then JAPANESEY. Find them.

Cetaphil is a line of skin care products from Galderma Laboratories, including cleansers, bar soap, cream, lotion, and moisturizers. Cetaphil products are commonly sold at grocery stores and pharmacies throughout the United States, Canada and India. In Indonesia, Cetaphil entered the market in January 2013 partnering with Parazelsus Indonesia as its Indonesian distributor. The brand makes products for people with sensitive, dry or acne-prone skin as an alternative to harsher types of soap. Cetaphil is highly used and known for its line of scent-free lotion and moisturizers, and can be applied to all types of skin because of its simplicity and non-harsh chemical build up.

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September 20, 2017

This $6,500 Hurricane Deductible Eats Cock.

The abbey of Leffe was founded in 1152 on the Meuse River in the province of Namur in southern Belgium. Like many monasteries across Europe, the Premonstratensian canons of the abbey brewed ale, starting in 1240. Using knowledge passed from generation to generation and ingredients found in the wild near the abbey, the canons developed a unique ale with a subtle taste and high alcohol content, brewed only at the abbey. The abbey has been damaged by both natural and human circumstances over the years: it was destroyed by a flood in 1460, a fire swept through the settlement in 1466, billeted troops damaged the brewery in 1735, and the outbreak of the French Revolution in 1794 resulted in it being abandoned and the brewery destroyed. In 1952, the production of Leffe beer was continued after a partnership with the Flemish based Lootvoet brewery in Overijse.

As an accessories brand, Tom Ford is still trying to get its sea legs. The line of bags and shoes is successful, but Ford has yet to have the kind of breakthrough, blockbuster hit that would send the business into the stratosphere. Handbag design is notoriously difficult to master for brands that have always been known, and now Ford appears to be looking for his signature, both literally and figuratively. These bags, which are part of Fall 2014, mark Ford's first true foray into logos and branded hardware. On the two shoulder bags, the large, gold “TF” is advertised as hidden, which appears to mean that the leather flap covers it if the wearer prefers. What's unclear from the available photos, though, is if the bag's structure also allows the monogram to be visible while carried, similar to the scheme that Louis Vuitton worked out for the Capucines.

A splinter is a fragment of a larger object or a foreign body that penetrates or is purposely injected into a body. Splinters may cause initial pain through ripping of flesh and muscle, infection through bacteria on the foreign object, and severe internal damage through migration to vital organs or bone over time. Splinters commonly consist of wood, but there are many other types. According to the American Academy of Family Physicians, common types of splinters are glass, plastic, metal, and spines of animals. This park bench really looks like it could be a splinter hazzard so I'd like to sand it down and repaint it. Can you show me where I'm headed to?

Good morning. The hot chick getting some vitamin D on her ass is in front of the Gilbert Ortega Museum and Gallery in Scottsdale Arizona. Take care, Eric R

It took me the better part of a day to track down the Welcome to Kent sign because since that photo was taken they've switched to square topped signs and the streetview doesn't show the curve and fork that's in the original photo. But she's camped out on Groombridge Hill Road and you can still see the brown shingled roof in the background. Tommy

And the moose knuckleball (waffle roof building) is part of the University of Applied Sciences Viventa on Wipkingerplatz 4 in Zurich, Switzerland across from the Tram Depot, where the picture was taken. Rick

The grassy knoll is a small, sloping hill inside the plaza that became well-known following the assassination of John F. Kennedy. The knoll was above Kennedy and to his right (west and north) during the assassination on November 22, 1963. This north grassy knoll is bounded by the former Texas School Book Depository building along the Elm Street abutment side street to the northeast, Elm Street and a sidewalk to the south, a parking lot to the north and east and a railroad bridge atop the triple underpass convergence of Commerce, Main and Elm streets to the west. Because of persistent debate, answered and unanswered questions, and conspiracy theories surrounding the Kennedy assassination and the possible related role of the grassy knoll, the term "grassy knoll" has come to also be a modern slang expression indicating suspicion, conspiracy, or a cover-up. Can you find this grassy knoll?

Many housecleaning products come in plastic bottles with a nozzle, sprayer or pump mechanism. The main body of the bottle is usually made from high-density polyethylene, which can be recycled. The spray mechanism, however, can be constructed from different materials -- often a metal spring housed inside plastic. Mixed materials often cannot be recycled, but in the city of Los Angeles, the bottle and the spray top can be recycled in the blue bin. The bottle and the sprayer do not need to be separated because they are ground up in processing. Alternatively, spray bottles may be repurposed if they can be thoroughly cleaned and are appropriate for the new liquid you use them for.

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September 19, 2017

There Are A Lot Of MLB Players Who Hail From The Various Caribbean Islands.

At 800 AM AST, the center of Hurricane Maria was located near latitude 16.2 North, longitude 62.8 West. Maria is moving toward the west-northwest near 9 mph, and this general motion is expected to continue through Wednesday. On the forecast track, the eye of Maria will move over the northeastern Caribbean Sea today, and approach the Virgin Islands and Puerto Rico tonight and Wednesday. Maximum sustained winds are near 160 mph with higher gusts. Maria is a potentially catastrophic category 5 hurricane on the Saffir-Simpson Hurricane Wind Scale. Some fluctuations in intensity are likely during the next day or two, but Maria is forecast to remain an extremely dangerous category 4 or 5 hurricane while it approaches the Virgin Islands and Puerto Rico. Swells generated by Maria are affecting the Lesser Antilles, and these swells are likely to cause life-threatening surf and rip current conditions.

A slow cooker, also known as a Crock-Pot, is a countertop electrical cooking appliance used to simmer at a lower temperature than other cooking methods, such as baking, boiling, and frying. This facilitates unattended cooking for many hours of dishes that would otherwise be boiled: pot roast, soups, stews, and other dishes. A basic slow cooker consists of a lidded round or oval cooking pot made of glazed ceramic or porcelain, surrounded by a housing, usually metal, containing an electric heating element. The lid itself is often made of glass, and seated in a groove in the pot edge; condensed vapor collects in the groove and provides a low-pressure seal to the atmosphere.

A split-finger fastball is a pitch in baseball derived from the forkball. It is named after the technique of putting the index and middle finger on different sides of the ball, or "splitting" them. When thrown hard, it appears to be a fastball to the batter, but appears to the batter and observers to suddenly "drop off the table" towards home plate—that is, it suddenly moves downwards, towards the dirt. Despite the use of the word fastball, it is considered the easiest of the off-speed pitches to hit. Who can hit this split-finger fastball?

All hail Ernie! You'll be taking a break in Cambridge, England. Specifically at the Gardenia Restaurant and Pizzeria in Rose Crescent, Cambridge. I used to hit it up all the time when I lived there. Wasn't that the same palm tree that you had to sculpt the new sidewalk around earlier this year? Be safe. Glad you made it through Irma in relatively good shape. Greg

Sort of. It was not this one by the sidewalk, but this one of the other side of the driveway that came down.

The curveball is a type of pitch in baseball thrown with a characteristic grip and hand movement that imparts forward spin to the ball, causing it to dive in a downward path as it approaches the plate. Its close relatives are the slider and the slurve. The delivery of a curveball is entirely different from that of most other pitches. The pitcher at the top of the throwing arc will snap the arm and wrist in a downward motion. The result is the exact opposite pitch of the four-seam fastball's backspin, but with all four seams rotating in the direction of the flight path with forward-spin, with the axis of rotation perpendicular to the intended flight path much like a reel-type mower or a bowling ball. The "curve" of the ball varies from pitcher to pitcher, and is considered an intermediate off speed pitch. Who can hit this curvy curveball?

Ernie, Glad you weathered the storm. The itinerary for your long day: Get your haircut at the Super Cuts at 14th and Washington Avenue in Miami. Then head to 1468 Pear Street in Boulder, CO for you Hula Hoop Lessons. Then head across the pond to Jolly Ole' England and make your way to 2 Rose Crescent, Cambridge, UK CB2 3LL to grab some Fish n Chips or anything else that is grab worthy. Respectfully, Chris

A knuckleball is a baseball pitch thrown to minimize the spin of the ball in flight, causing an erratic, unpredictable motion. The air flow over a seam of the ball causes the ball to transition from laminar to turbulent flow. This transition adds a deflecting force on the side of the baseball. This makes the pitch difficult for batters to hit, but also difficult for pitchers to control and catchers to catch; umpires are challenged as well, as the ball's irregular motion through the air makes it harder to call balls and strikes. The knuckleball is the most difficult off speed pitch for a batter to make contact with. Who thinks they can hit this moose knuckleball?

Have you ever wondered why Home Depot and Lowe's lumber carts wobble on four casters, when they are built with six casters? Upon closer inspection, you'll find the two center casters are lower than the other four, requiring you to tilt the cart in one direction or the other to get four of the six wheels to touch the ground. This configuration makes the cart more maneuverable, helps the cart climb over bumps in the parking lot, and helps to keep the load more secure during transport.

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September 18, 2017

Well That's A Load Off Of My Roof.

Well, I managed to get the guy out to pull the tree off of my roof, and he tipped up on three wheels twice while wrestling that big heavy motherfucker to the ground. Which is all the more interesting when you consider staff from NOAA's Office of Marine and Aviation Operations and NOAA's National Geodetic Survey capture these images using specialized remote-sensing cameras aboard NOAA aircraft flying above the area at an altitude between 1,640 and 4,921 feet. Once the aviators shoot the imagery, it is posted online for the public to access. By comparing the aerial — not satellite — imagery collected with baseline coastal datasets, response agencies can assess any damage to major ports and waterways, coastlines, critical infrastructure and coastal communities. This can help maintain or restore safe navigation and prioritize areas in need.

Gas tungsten arc welding, also known as tungsten inert gas (TIG) welding, is an arc welding process that uses a non-consumable tungsten electrode to produce the weld. The weld area and electrode is protected from oxidation or other atmospheric contamination by an inert shielding gas such as argon or helium, and a filler metal is normally used, athough some welds known as autogenous welds, do not require it. A constant-current welding power supply produces electrical energy, which is conducted across the arc through a column of highly ionized gas and metal vapors known as a plasma. Gas tungsten arc welding is most commonly used to weld thin sections of stainless steel and non-ferrous metals such as aluminum, magnesium, and copper alloys.

CSR Marine has been serving Puget Sound boaters since 1977. Known as leaders in marine repairs and installations with an excellent reputation, the team at CSR Marine is made up of an exceptional group of talented people waiting to serve you. CSR has the most experienced crew of NMEA and ABYC certified technicians in the Puget Sound area. CSR has produced top notch racing bottoms for sailors at the highest level of competition, specializing in marine hull and bottom paints. They have experience in fiberglass, gelcoat, polyurethane and bottom paint, keel and mast repair, as well as, mechanical repairs on gas or diesel engines. They perform expert woodworking for both exterior and interior for the classic yacht lover. CSR Marine continues to develop and improve on methods and materials to provide modern solutions.

The homely chick with the Mr Magoo glasses is just outside of the Family Kingdom Amusement park in Myrtle Beach, South carolina. Ken

That Grenade Free Zone is the Maison Bourbon jazz club in New Orleans. John M.

Hi Ernie, Got a flowchart here that will help you to figure out which sci fi movie to watch next. Kind Regards, David

THINGS I WANT TO DO TODAY: first I need a haircut so I look civilized for my hula hoop lessons, then after that I'll be tired so I'll need to take a break. Plot out my day for me.

The name of the Paulaner brewery refers to the order of friars that resided in Neuhauser Straße in Munich who were part of the order of Saint Francis of Paola. The friars had brewed beer for their own use since 1634. The beer that was permitted to be sold on holidays was a Bock style which gained local fame. After the abolition of the Neudeck Cloister in 1799, the building was converted into a penitentiary. Franz Xaver Zacherl, the brewer, purchased the former cloister brewery and continued the "Starkbier" tradition with the product Salvator, which is Latin for "Saviour". In 1928 the brewery merged with the Gebrüder Thomas brewery creating Paulaner Salvator Thomas Bräu. Paulaner is one of the six breweries who provide oktoberfestbier for Oktoberfest, the German beer festival dating from 1810, the others being Augustinerbräu, Hacker-Pschorr, Hofbräu, Löwenbräu and Spaten-Franziskaner-Bräu

LIFEWTR believes inspiration is as essential to life as water, because it moves us forward by unleashing our creative potential. That's why they're excited to partner with artists and turn every LIFEWTR bottle into a canvas for new art. Every few months, they'll be launching a new series of LIFEWTR bottles focused on a unique aspect in art — putting the spotlight on three new artists.

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September 16, 2017

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

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It's All About The Bollocks....

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