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Ernie's House of Whoop Ass!
February 12, 2016

We're At A Point Where I'm Starting To Look Forward To Weekends Again.

You know, it's surprisingly challenging to find out who this 800 number belongs to.

Gentle reminder: six police officers killed in seven days; including five by gunfire. Total number of statements by the White House decrying violence against police, or these instances of gun violence? Absolutely fucking ZERO. So while everyday citizens are coming to police officers' aid, Tomi Lahren would like Beyonce to -- in the words of Navy Lieutenant Jordan O'Neil -- kindly suck her dick.

Terror from the Year 5000 is a 1958 American science fiction film directed by Robert J. Gurney Jr. starring Ward Costello, Joyce Holden, John Stratton, Salome Jens and Fred Herrick. The movie follows an international team embarks on an expedition to the moon in an uncommonly spacious rocketship. There they encounter a faceless alien intelligence who conclude that the human race is too immature and dangerous and must be destroyed. American International Pictures released the film as a double feature with The Screaming Skull. Terror from the Year 5000 bears one of the earliest film editing credits for Dede Allen, who went on to a noteworthy career editing The Hustler, Bonnie and Clyde, Dog Day Afternoon

During the years prior to the infamous Clinton Assault Weapons ban, a gun buyer could pick up a Norinco SKS for under $70. At the time, many American gun owners were leery of the inexpensive guns because the quality was unknown. Years later, however, the Nornico SKS has a reputation for being drop dead reliable and has passable accuracy. So if'n you get a hankering for a 1960's era Chinese manufactured -- read "solid as fuck" -- Norinco SKS, the guys at Southern Ohio Guns have some for $329, but let me give you one additional piece of advice: pay the extra $25 for a hand picked one because some of these guns have been issued.

A typical ship's wheel is composed of eight cylindrical wooden spokes (though sometimes as few as six or as many as ten) shaped like balusters and all joined at a central wooden hub or nave, sometimes covered with a brass nave plate, which housed the axle. The square hole at the centre of the hub through which the axle ran is called the drive square and was often lined with a brass plate, which was frequently etched with the name of the wheel's manufacturer. The wood used in construction of this type of ships wheel was most often either teak or mahogany, both of which are very durable tropical hardwoods capable of surviving the effects of salt water spray and regular use without significant decomposition.

Yelp's list of Top 100 Places to Eat in the US for 2016 honors businesses that rank so highly in the Yelp community's opinion that they have earned the status of “must try within this lifetime.” From fancy to casual, long time favorite to new up-and-comer, barbecue to udon, this list runs the gamut of gastronomical experiences.

FRIDAY FLICK: The whole world now knows... my son, Sean Mullen, was kidnapped, for ransom, three days ago. This is a recent photograph of him. Sean, if you're watching, we love you. And this... well, this is what waits for the man that took him. This is your ransom. Two million dollars in unmarked bills, just like you wanted. But this is as close as you'll ever get to it. You'll never see one dollar of this money, because no ransom will ever be paid for my son. Not one dime, not one penny. Instead, I'm offering this money as a reward on your head. Dead or alive, it doesn't matter. So congratulations, you've just become a two million dollar lottery ticket... except the odds are much, much better. Do you know anyone that wouldn't turn you in for two million dollars? I don't think you do. I doubt it. So wherever you go and whatever you do, this money will be tracking you down for all time. And to ensure that it does, to keep interest alive, I'm running a full-page ad in every major newspaper every Sunday... for as long as it takes. But... and this is your last chance... you return my son, alive, uninjured, I'll withdraw the bounty. With any luck you can simply disappear. Understand... you will never see this money. Not one dollar. So you still have a chance to do the right thing. If you don't, well, then, God be with you, because nobody else on this Earth will be.

February 11, 2016

If Youre Looking For Fuck All, You've Found The Right Place.

I like Bernie Sanders as a person. I really do. I think he's an all around good guy, he's (comparatively speaking) honest for a politician, he doesn't sling mud like the others do, and he genuinely wants to make life better for the voters of Vermont and the American people. And if there were a Nice Guy competition, he'd get my vote hands down. Unfortunately Bernie Sanders doesn't know fuck all about the economy. And the most frustrating part about Bernie Sanders not knowing fuck all about the economy is, it is impossible to convince a Bernie Sanders supporter that Bernie Sanders doesn't know fuck all about the economy. Because in order to support Bernie Sanders' economic policies, you have to not know fuck all about the economy to begin with. So with the next Presidential election coming up, which way do you prefer? Frank Underwood's way or the Purge's way?

Lysol is a brand name of cleaning and disinfecting products distributed by Reckitt Benckiser. The line includes solutions for hard and soft surfaces, air treatment, and hand washing. The first Lysol Brand Antiseptic Disinfectant was introduced in 1889 by Dr. Gustav Raupenstrauch to help end a cholera epidemic in Germany. In 1918, during the Spanish flu pandemic, Lehn & Fink, Inc. advertised Lysol disinfectant as an effective countermeasure to the influenza virus. Newspaper ads provided tips for preventing the spread of the disease, including washing sick-rooms and everything that came in contact with patients with Lysol. Current scents from Lysol include Crisp Linen, Floral, Fruit & Citrus, Gourmand, and Fresh.

Meals-Ready-to-Eat are extremely versatile, don't require water, and are fully cooked so they can be eaten straight out of the pouch anywhere at any time. Each meal includes a MRE flameless ration heater so you can have a hot meal anywhere. This package includes: Spaghetti with meat and sauce, Vegetable Lasagna, Beef Ravioli with meat sauce, Cheese Tortellini with tomato sauce, Chili and Macaroni, Sloppy Joe Filling, Asian Style Beef Strips with Vegetables and Chicken Breast with Pasta and Basil. Get all six for $18.49 shipped -- perfect for bugout bags, backpacking, or to keep in your car. Or you know, in case you lose power after a hurricane. Added bonus: long 3 year shelf life, so you can totally freak people out.

Heya Ernie, Thought this video might be funny to slip in some place. The guy, Josh Robert Thompson, does a spot on George Lucas. Brian

The snacks are by Montebovi. They are Montebovi California Italian cookies. Rick

Things for you to find today: This fire truck. And because people are selling all of their shit to cover their Super Bowl losses, I'd also like you to find this pawn shop.

Style was an iconic South African consumer magazine that was founded in 1981 and published by Caxton and CTP Publishers and Printers Limited. The magazine's founding editor was Marilyn Hattingh, who based the publication on American "city magazines", aimed at an upmarket readership of conspicuous consumers. The magazine was a highly influential chronicle of Johannesburg high society, and its tone was acerbic and often satirical. In late 2006, it was announced that Style magazine would be discontinued.

Hi Ernie, I made this montage video of random youtube artists singing Adele's Hello. hope you like and share! thanks in advance and have a nice Superbowl weekend Cheers! Alberto

Ernie, barrel at Truro Vineyards is in the quaint town of North Truro, Cape Cod, Massachusetts on Shore Road on the way into or out of Provincetown by the "back door". This street view pic has some trees in the way but you can see the barrel clearly. Been by it many times but have never stopped to sample the wines. Russ

Old and busted: Kurt Cobain's apartment listed on Airbnb. The new hotness: Vincent Van Gogh's bedroom listed on Airbnb.

Lawrence Block is an American crime writer best known for two long-running New York–set series about the recovering alcoholic P.I. Matthew Scudder and the gentleman burglar Bernie Rhodenbarr. Block was named a Grand Master by the Mystery Writers of America in 1994. In his most recent novel, after having Cashed out from the NYPD after 24 years, Doak Miller operates as a private eye in steamy small-town Florida, doing jobs for the local police. Like posing as a hit man and wearing a wire to incriminate a local wife who's looking to get rid of her husband. But when he sees the wife, when he looks into her deep blue eyes, he sees murder.

There are 10 million members at Adult Friend Finder, all of which looking for fun filled action to keep warm this chilly season. Even if you don't want to hook up, sign up for free and check out tons of nude photos and profiles. With 10 million members, you may find the chick next door looking to get laid. And you ladies, don't be shy. Tons of guys are waiting for you, too. Just take the one minute to find some people in the area! So sign up for free then go to your e-mail to confirm your account and get busy!

February 10, 2016

Hump Day Doesn't Feel So Hump Worthy Anymore.

KangaROOS are an American brand of sneaker originally produced from 1979 through the 1980s, with a later revival that continues in present. They were notable for having a small zippered pocket on the side of the shoe, large enough for a small amount of loose change, keys, etc. He designed the sneakers for his own personal use as a place to store his keys and money, then marketed them effectively. His marketing design was successful, leading to sales in excess of 700,000 pairs a month by the early 1980s. By the end of the 1980s, the popularity of the sneakers was on the decline, executives departed the company and KangaROOS were quietly withdrawn from the market. However, nostalgia, combined with an appreciation both of the shoe's athletic design and its ubiquitous pocket, led to a reappearance of the shoe in the late 1990s. Today, KangaROOS are still sold in over sixty countries worldwide.

Here are 15 of the dumbest things Johnny Manziel has ever done. Well, I suppose 16 if you'd include hitting his ex-girlfriend so hard he ruptured her eardrum.

Karlovacko is a popular beer in Croatia and Bosnia-Herzegovina. It is the signature product of brewer Karlovacka Pivovara, located in the city of Karlovac. It has an alcohol content of about 5.4 percent by volume. Its makers describe it as "golden-yellow" in color and "refreshingly" bitter in taste. It won a 2005 Brewing Industry International Award golden medal in the category of beers with 4.5 to 5.5 percent alcohol. Originally produced in a brown bottle, Karlovacko is now available in both green bottles and red aluminum cans.

Admittedly, this is not something I'd normally feature here on EHOWA but if you're looking for a sweet ass heavy duty wooden work bench, Home Depot has a sweet ass one for $69. I know, right?

Okay, two Streetview challenges, the first is a softball. Wooden methods for storing wine or spirits range from smaller barrels to huge casks; the tastes yielded by French and American species of oak are slightly different, with French oak being subtler, while American oak gives stronger aromas. Show me where this wine was fermented American oak. And secondly, and a little more difficult, show me where I can park my motorcycle.

Why I do believe that dog is poking its head into a sex shop called Auro Erotica. And while that might catch David Carradine's attention, oh sorry that's autoerotic asphyxiation, it's a pretty big stop on San Francisco's Gay pride parade. Not Gay Tommy.

The riverside Florida photo was taken near the boat dock for the Gasparilla Pirate Ship, but they flipped the image. Bill in Tampa

West Marine was founded in 1968 by Randy Repass in Sunnyvale, California with the name West Coast Ropes, selling nylon rope from his garage. The first retail West Coast Ropes store opened in 1975 in Palo Alto, California. With the acquisition of assets from West Products in 1977, the company changed its name to West Marine Products. In 1978 West Marine established a wholesale division called Port Supply, and in 1991 the first West Marine stores opened on the East Coast of the United States in Miami and Annapolis. West Marine currently provides over 75,000 products online, in stores, and via mail-order catalog.

One of the biggest metrics used to compare games to each other is map size. This video, uploaded by YouTube user MarcoStyle, compares the size of The Division‘s map to Fallout 4 and Grand Theft Auto V, which are both incredibly large maps. All three maps are based on real-life cities -- Fallout 4 is an immaculate replica of Boston, GTA V mimics elements of Los Angeles, and The Division is meant to take place in Midtown Manhattan.

And still no joy on the night stand snacks.

February 9, 2016

There Goes California, Leading The Charge To Fuck Things Up For Everybody.

The music, lyrics and laid back island attitude of Jimmy Buffett comes to life at this popular Orlando restaurant, Margaritaville. The main dining room was inspired by one of Jimmy Buffett's favorite South Florida waterfront concerts, and its three bars — The Volcano Bar, Land Shark Bar, and 12 Volt Bar — were themed around Jimmy Buffett songs. There's outdoor seating available on the Porch of Indecision, featuring a live guitarist to sing along with every night. Or you can just relax in colorful Adirondack chairs outside the restaurant and watch the world go by. Right next to Margaritaville is the Lone Palm Airport, featuring Jimmy Buffett's very own seaplane, the Hemisphere Dancer. This outdoor lounge and tiki bar serves a variety of drinks and quick eats under the wing of the plane, along with the "Parakeet Beach" area for the little ones to play in. And there's something for every Parrothead in the Smuggler's Hold merchandise store. In addition to caps, shirts, shorts, sandals and other apparel perfect for the beach or any occasion, you'll find beach bags, flags, posters, magnets, decals and stickers, signs and wall hangings.

You may or may not be excited about seeing the upcoming Jason Bourne later this year, but I am excited to see it stars Julia Stiles.

On May 4, 1998, the United States Army's Armaments Research, Development and Engineering Center issued a solicitation requesting submissions for a new 12-gauge, semi-automatic combat shotgun for the US military. In response to the request, Benelli Armi SpA of Urbino, Italy designed and built the Benelli M4 Super 90 Combat Shotgun. On August 4, 1998, five samples of the M4 were delivered to Aberdeen Proving Ground, Maryland, and after intense testing, the M4 had beaten the competition. In early 1999, ARDEC awarded the M1014 Joint Service Combat Shotgun contract to Heckler & Koch, American subsidiary for importation of the Benelli M4 Combat Shotgun. The first units (count of 20,000) were delivered to the United States Marine Corps in 1999. During testing, the prototype was named XM1014, but after adoption, the 'X' was dropped, and the weapon was officially designated the M1014 shotgun.

I suspect a basic familiarity of Florida landscapes should give you a pretty good idea where this photo was taken from. Quite the opposite from the Whirlpool refrigerator one, which to be quite honest, I didn't think anyone would be able to solve.

Hey Ernie, the refrigerator was a good one. took some digging around but I believe she is in Budapest, in the apartment building located across the street from the Mammut mall. Saturn is now Media Markt, but looks like the place to me. Ray and Stace

Hey Ernie, Your refrigerator is in Budapest, Hungary, in this building. Do a 180 and match up the Saturn sign, building features and the eave of the building across the street. More of her Hungarian twat (down?) here. Sorry I called yesterday's challenge a softball, this was a fastball slider with a cross wind. I was able to figure out those maps on her wall were Budapest, then I could make out a word "Ma?mu?" with an elephant logo under the "...RN" across the street. I was trying to think of the word for elephant when it occurred to me "Mammoth"? "Mammut"? Googled "Mammut Budapest" and there it was. Keep 'em coming, Tim

I believe this is the same building you can see out her window. Its on Szena ter, in Budapest, Hungary. The original sign was Saturn, which is now Media Markt, She is in the upper floor of the building behind. here is a link to an older picture of the Saturn sign. The first thing I usually do is look for other pictures, I did see the sign with the "RN" in the window, going here I found a picture that showed the word Saturn, which turns out to be Media-Saturn, which is now Media Markt On the site of the pictures it says bisexual Magyar, magyar translates to Hungarian. Doing a search for Media-markt Hungary showed 2 in Budapest. Nothing to it ;-) Rick

Curios & Relics firearms are defined in Title 27, Code of Federal Regulations, Part 478.11 as those "...of special interest to collectors by reason of some quality other than is associated with firearms intended for sporting use or as offensive or defensive weapons." To be recognized by ATF as a C&R firearm, a firearm must fall into at least one of the following three categories: Firearms manufactured more than 50 years prior to the current date, not including replicas; Firearms certified by the curator of a municipal, State, or Federal museum that exhibits firearms as curios or relics of museum interest; or any other firearms that derive a substantial part of their monetary value from the fact that they are novel, rare, bizarre, or because of their association with some historical figure, period, or event. C&R firearms include most manually operated and semi-automatic firearms used by a military force prior to 1966, including most firearms used by the warring nations in World War I and World War II. So it should come as no surprise to anyone that California Assembly Bill 1663, authored by California Assemblyman David Chiu (D-San Francisco, go fucking figure) and sponsored by gun-grabbing Attorney General Kamala Harris is seeking to reclassify some curios and relic firearms as "assault weapons" so that they can be banned under California's existing assault weapon ban.

When it comes to snacking within an hour or two of your bedtime, there's a few things to consider: First, research does link late-night calories to the potential for weight gain. One study found that eating right before turning in can make your snooze time more restless, and that sets you up for fatigue and binge eating the next day. Also, late-night noshing tends to be associated with stress eating, which leads to overindulging in high-fat comfort calories. So, any idea exactly what she's overindulging on?

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here. ...

We're At A Point Where I'm Starting To Look Forw ...

If Youre Looking For Fuck All, You've Found The ...

Hump Day Doesn't Feel So Hump Worthy Anymore. ...

There Goes California, Leading The Charge To Fuc ...

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