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E R N I E ' S H O U S E O F W H O O P A S S
Ernie's House of Whoop Ass!
| September 3, 2010 |
I've Always Liked The Color Purple.
Well I posted as much feedback as I could on the Mosque-erade. Good and bad, short and long, sane and crazy, most of it is there. I held back a few people who asked that I not publiush their letters and hey, I like living on the edge.
If you ever needed any proof that persistance pays off, look no further than Donald trump. First he weds the so-so-maybe-she-was-a-looker-in-her-day Ivana. Next he moved on to the younger and much more attractive Marla Maples. Then after growing tired of her? he moves on to the uber-hot Slovenian model Melania Knauss. Kudos to you, Mr. Trump.
Remember Nico, the defeated deaf white Dogo Argentino at South Los Angeles animal shelter -- who moved so many people with the sad photo of him first posted on Facebook? Nico, the forlorn animal who evoked the agony and utter defeat so many discarded animals must experience? Well, it's a joy to update you on Nico's life.
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Hi Ernie. I haven't sent anything in for a while . But I think this pretty much the scariest thing I've seen in a while. our roads around here can be treacherous. Moose and deer. I don't know if the people survived. I don't see a lot of blood on the drivers seat so I'm assuming they were ok. Ron
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Don't you wish Christina Hendricks star of AMC's Mad Men would find her way into the world of sports get hit by a fucking bus? Perhaps she'll get divorced and turn into WAG or even become a player in the Lingerie Football League. Although Christina's not involved in sports, there are plenty of other good-looking redheads that are.
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This presentation from DPS/TEXAS RANGERS represents a 2+ hour gun battle that started as an ambush. A properly planned and executed ambush should be measured in seconds or at most minutes, not hours. One thing is for sure, these guys are willing to fight until they win or die. Michael
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Who's crazier? Gary Busey or Gary Busey as Norman Tugwater? I'm going to go with the latter because it gives Busey a reason to have Adrian Peterson put someone in a sleeper hold.
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The pictures were taken this morning, August 11, 2010 at DFW Airport, George and Laura Bush greeted 150 (very surprised) troops as they arrived home from Iraq and Afghanistan. Their expressions were so priceless!
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You gotta hand it to Katy Perry: she knows how to avoid a nip slip. Even though an upskirt or two will squeak its way out, she is careful about not showing her bombs. Which depresses us so much we can barely describe the physical disappointment we felt when we realized this nipple slip ALMOST came to fruition.
forty dance scenes set to footloose. you're welcome.
video of the propeller/rolling shuttter effect from yesterday.
man recreates ex-girlfriend as realistic sex doll. guys 1, girls 0.
white girl beats the shit out of a black girl. or is she maybe mulatto?
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| September 2, 2010 |
Thankfully I Still Have My Red Stapler.
Well if the upside to a little vacation is time away from work, then the downside is when you return there's twice as much waiting for you. The rule also applies to me, The Most Powerful Webmaster In The Universe. it didn't help any that we touched upon the NYC mosque issue right before I left. There's a lot of feedback that I want to share, but rather than ram it down everyone's throat by cluttering the front page, I'm going to create a separate page that you can read if thats your sort of thing. Look for that tomorrow.
In the meantime, I'm going to meter out some of the other submissions that have rolled in over the last two weeks. Oh and while I'm not 100% positive, I think this grey car is missing one of its front lug nuts.
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Hey Ernie! Been with you since the stick figure days but never sent anything in until now. This is a pic of a co-worker who dove into a pond and hit a submerged tree stump. He's fine, not paralyzed or anything. Probably hurting like hell though. Enjoy and keep up the good work! Steve
I just about went off the road when I saw it at a Four-Points Sheraton on the way to work. Turns out that they had an issue with the number of available letters and the previous scrolls said, "Come to ... our doo ... " keep up the good work! David
Hey Ernie. This is Jeniffer Thompson, owner of TacticalVinylUSA.com, I met her at her booth at a recent gun show in Pasadena, Texas. I tend to agree with her on the best choice of weapon against a potential zombie attack. However, some folks disagree. Larry
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You know as much as I dream about it, one thing has always troubled me about the pending zombie outbreak. Everyone preaches melee weapons because they never run out of ammo. And what's the preferred hand-to-hand zombie dispatcher of choice? The machete, right? But since the infection is presumably spread by bodily fluids -- e.g. the saliva in a bite -- wouldn't you want a more bloodless method of killing a zombie rather than hacking off its fucking head? I'd hate to survive an outright attack, only to succumb to the goo that got sprayed. Anyway. For zombies I think I'd shy away from an AK just because 7.62mm ammo isn't as common as it would be for a 12GA (from hunters) or 5.56mm rifle (from troops). So either one of those would work fine for me, but since I have both you better get your ass to my house when the shit hits the fan. Oh, and you'll also want a nice handgun too, preferably something big like in a .45 caliber.
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Same giant scale B-29 that crashed at the Cape Coral meet. Tony
Ernie - My 7 year old was playing with her barbies and did this, I just added the text. Don
Wanted to share with you the "Access Control Incident Report" that I just received from my Patrol Supervisor.......this happened last night in Marsh Landing! (SJSO is the St. John's County Sheriff's office) "Patrol responded to a report of a deer at the front door of 133 Bristol Place. The deer was observed standing at the front door rubbing it's antlers on the door. ( Mrs. Klayman advised the deer had been at her door for the past three or four hours before she called to report it) Patrol officer Allen shone his flashlight on the deer and it ran off a short distance. At this time Zach Klayman (son) and his girlfriend arrived home and were to talking to officer Allen when the deer came running from behind the house and charged at them. All three persons jumped into the patrol vehicle. The deer then proceeded to circling the patrol vehicle and ramming and rubbing antlers against the vehicle. Patrol called SJSO and Terry Shirley responded and flashed the lights and activated the siren on his car causing the deer to back away from the vehicles. Officer Shirley contacted wildlife and was advised to do whatever was necessary. At this time the SJSO shift supervisor arrived and said he was familiar with the deer and knew the owners and he said the deer is a domesticated pet (it was wearing a collar) raised from infancy as it was found abandoned. Evidently the deer had swum across the intracoastal and become disoriented, and as it is a house pet wanted into 133 Bristol. The animals name is Buddy. The deer actually calmed down while the supervisor was present as the deer knew him. The supervisor left to escort the owners into Marsh Landing with a trailer. After the supervisor left, the deer became aggressive once more coming towards officer Shirley and rearing up on it's hind legs. Officer Shirley drew his taser ( he was not going to tase the deer) and the "popping" sound from the taser caused the deer to retreat a distance. The owners arrived and using food enticed the deer into the trailer and drove off with Buddy safely secured There were no injuries nor damage to property, including vehicles.." - B.E.
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It's easy to look badass with careful planning: Whether it's entering a prize fight, acting in intense action scenes with the benefit of careful choreography or just waiting for the crowd to gather before you jump your dirt bike over 16 flaming tigers, the common thread is always planning and forethought. It's a lot harder to come off as a total badass in the heat of the moment, with no warning, no setup and no pretense. Hard, but not impossible.
Before fire. Before the wheel. Before internet - there was babe. Pay homage to our prehistoric ancestors with this gallery of twenty hot cave babes.
being mormon, i can't look at porn or nudity. so i have to get creative.
everything you need to know about buying your own private island.
ten more images of hot sorority girls that get you in the college mixer.
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| September 1, 2010 |
When Was The Last Time YOUR Wireless Router Hung Up?
I tell you what, it sure as fuck is nice to be working on a full sized keyboard and monitor again.
So where the fuck did the photos go, right? Well. Since my experience with St Regis Falls wifi access last year was steady but anything but fast (around 128kps), I figured I'd leave all the heavy file transfers to my home computer. So I set brought my laptop with me to do the actual updates, but scheduled all the picture uploading to happen from home. Oddly enough, it was kind of like I was back working from a modem at Comverse, haha. Anyway, I kept a list of what images were to be sent up and on what days, so I could incorporate those into my posts. Which worked great, right up until the 25th when not my computer took a shit -- go Windows 7 -- but much to my surprise the fucking cable model back here in Florida seemed to hiccup. So my poor computer was up and merrily trying to FTP away, but couldn't get any internet access because the modem needed a reset. How often does that happen, once a year maybe? And the best part? I had copies of all the images with me, it just never occured to me that I could send them up remotely. Eh, such is life. The important part is I had fun. Well, not as much fun as crashing a Suzuki Samurai into a Bell Ranger helicopter, but close. Who knows, maybe next year I'll take a little scooter power along. Anyway, all the images that were supposed to go up are posted below.
First Emma Watson, and now Anne Hathaway? What the fuck is up with all my Hollywood bitches and short hair lately? Are you driving me away? Jesus get a restraining order if you have to but don't cut your goddamn hair.
Elin Nordegren, Tiger's now ex-wife, recently gave People magazine an exclusive interview, describing what she's gone through with her divorce from Woods. Nordegren was largely viewed as the victim in all of this, and with good reason. Given the number of women Woods slept with, Elin will have a tough time playing any role but victim. While the interview is drawing largely positive reviews, here are ten reasons she hurt her image with the interview. And for the record, no Elin did not pose nude for Playboy several years back, that was actually Kimberly Hiott who yes, is a dead ringer for Tiger's ex. Which in my opinion, is a distinction that definitely should have earned her a spot in the fifty hottest women to appear in Playboy, but evidently, no dice.
behold, the trapdoor spider at work.
a VERY IMPORTANT message from conan o'brien.
why matthew broderick can stay married to horse-face.
neck cyst surgery. not safe for lunch. or dinner. but snack friendly.
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| August 31, 2010 |
1,464 miles in 23 Hours Travel Time.
Of which, 21:45 was actual driving time. I sleepie now.
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