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Holy Crap We're 2/3 of the Way Through 2006 ALREADY?

And holy fucking shit, I finally think the light is starting to dawn in their eyes. Here is a powerful and amazing statement on Al Jazeera television (if you can fucking believe it). The woman is Wafa Sultan, an Arab-American psychologist from Los Angeles. The stupid ass she debated against was soundly thrashed to the point where his only come back was to call her a 'heretic'. Anyway, Wafa Sultan has my respect and she should have yours, too. Yet some other chicks? Not so much!

Contrary to popular believe, no I was not the dumbass who tried to jump his ATV over a canal down here. Although it did happen about an hour from me. And trust me, for that kid to have launched 92 feet, he sure as fuck wasn't in the process of slowing down. Yep, the Florida Crackers sure do love their ATV's down here.

On the reverse end of crashing quads, something cool did happen down here in Florida last week. See for yourself. Now that's a pretty hefty respect for accomplishment, eh?

Ladies, is your man losing interest in you? Or even worse, do you suspect he's cheating? If so I can offer you this 100% guaranteed, double your money back guarantee of a way to keep his attention. It has never failed, ever.

hawker 800xp executive jet collides with a glider at 16,000 feet - article and photos!

Yep, I'm Just Gonna Chill Through This One.

I swung to the grocery store to pick up some dog food yesterday and sure enough, people were in there clearing the shelves of bottled water and milk. Like somehow that's going to save them. Just pay attention to the fucking news people... all you have to do is catch a 10 second news clip to know this wasn't going to be a major storm.

Well that can certainly ruin your day. Especially if the guy was driving to a wedding. A weding where the bride was made hot with a lot of makeup and of course, a tasteful wedding dress.

In the Ball Puzzle Race, the blue ribbon goes to Chad who was the first to complete the game at 3:04pm yesterday. Still completing the game but sucking hind tit were Travis & Jeff who did so late last evening. I'm sure you guys were very excited to be the first ones to win!

team tiger awesome presents - top gun: a requirem for goose

rednecks + sparkler bomb + 55 gallon drum = good clean fun!

C'mon In. Just Be Careful Where You Sit.

Because the last thing you need is the Elvis Trooper coming to straighten your ass out. He's got kicking your ass down to three simple steps.

Burning Man 2006 kicked off this past weekend, and whilest I don't have any nudies from there yet, someone did sent me this gallery with things getting started.

Am I the only person who feels bad for Tara Reid sometimes? After Tara was denied admittance to Hyde, her former BFF Paris Hilton came sauntering by and breezed inside, as Tara could only stand on the sidewalk and steam. Neener, neener, neener. (PLEASE NOTE: I said "Neener", not "Beaner".

behold as a land rover lr3 gets cut away before your very eyes. well, sorta

behold as san francisco's golden gate bridge gets built before your very eyes. well, sorta

All Hyped Up For That?

Hmmm, looks like Ernesto might swing Easto. Which is good, I'm not complainint, but I sure as hell was ready for the worst.

With improved armor protecting our toops over in Iraq, insurgents have taken to a new kind of trap, as can be viewed here. Be careful guys!

come see why thomas is the fucking man

cControl this skeleton's body parts like a puppet. this is the coolest thing i've seen in a while

Wait, I'm Going To Blow Myself?

Well folks, hurricane season's officially here so here are a few new drink recipes to keep handy just in case the worst happens. Enjoy!

MANDATORY EVACUATION
1 1/2 oz. Absolute Ruby Red vodka
1/2 oz. vermouth
Clamato
Prune juice
Combine vodka and vermouth in cocktail glass. Fill remainder of glass with equal parts Clamato and prune juice. Stir. Drink. Ask next-door neighbor whose fichus tree blew over and crashed onto your roof - even though you'd warned him for months to uproot it - if you can use his bathroom. Repeat.

CATEGORY 5
1/2 oz. vodka
1/2 oz. tequila
1/2 oz. rum
1/2 oz. bourbon
1/2 oz. gin
Sweet-and-sour mix
Splash of fruit juice
Combine vodka, tequila, rum, bourbon and gin in a tall glass. Fill remainder of glass with sweet-and-sour mix and splash of juice. Stir, then garnish with an inverted drink umbrella. Drink during peak storm hours, and vow not to believe anyone who tries to tell you the hurricane that flooded your garage and destroyed your shed was just a Category 1.

CONE OF PROBABILITY
1 oz. cinnamon schnapps
1 sugar cone
Pour the schnapps into the sugar cone. Every time you hear a TV weatherman say, "cone of probability," bite off the end of the cone and down the shot. If you hear Jim Cantore say it, drink two shots consecutively. (they should change this to the "Cantore Zone"... damn him. Have you ever noticed that, despite all the cone of probability talk, if Cantore is parked in front of your house your ass is toast?)

FEEDER BAND
2 oz. Midori
2 oz. rum
1 scoop
vanilla ice cream
After your home loses power, combine Midori and rum in a cocktail glass. Add a scoop of the vanilla ice cream that is melting in your freezer. Stir and drink through a straw.

BEACH EROSION
1 1/2 oz. Goldschläger
1 1/2 oz. apple brandy
1 pack Sugar in the Raw
Combine Goldschläger, apple brandy and sugar in cocktail glass. As you drink, seriously contemplate moving your Yankee ass back to New Jersey where it belongs.

DOWNED POWER LINE
1 1/2 oz. rum
5 oz. Jolt Cola
Combine ingredients in a cocktail glass. Drink while trying to figure out how the heck you're supposed to go two freakin' weeks without television and AC.

FLOOD ZONE
2 oz. Kahlúa
2 oz. Baileys Irish cream
4 oz. rum
Serve in a 6-ounce glass and laugh-cry deliriously as the mess spills all over the countertop.

COLD SHOWER
2 oz. Blue Aftershock
4 oz. Sprite
Combine in a cocktail glass with crushed ice you received after waiting in line for three hours at a mall parking lot. Take a deep breath, sip and scream like a little girl when the cold beverage hits your tongue. Repeat.

THE CHAIN SAW
1 oz. Goldschläger
1 oz. Rumplemintz
3 oz. Jim Beam
Splash of vermouth
Combine Goldschläger, Rumplemintz and Jim Beam in an empty soup can. Add splash of vermouth. Drink. Remove chain saw from garage and attempt to cut up fallen tree limbs in yard. Ask neighbor to drive you to hospital when it all goes horribly wrong.

a complete gallery of chicks exhaling cigarette smoke through their nose. weird.

So My Brother Gets Into Town Today.

And I just can't wait to see the shit we get into. Oh, don't worry Jo, I'm just kidding.

Hmmm, somehow I get the feeling this can't be good. Nope, nope, looks pretty definite now... definitely not good.

get in touch with your creative side and make a sign

get in touch with your creative side and make a sign

Knock, Knock. Who's There? Emerson.

Well, this nice young lady reminded me what time of the year it is! That's right, about time to kick off the BEst Tits 2006 contest! And ladies, please allow me to apologize in advance for the sins I shall commit. And this year, in addition to donations to breast cancer research, I'm going to try to do some boobie prizes for everyone who enters. So everyone get their cameras ready.

Oh and girls, please, no costumes this year. Ha!

uploadbank.com's registered users now have 200 megabytes of free space.
that's storage for about 400 pictures or 150 mp3's -- all FREE!
plus if you're MILITARY, let chris (the owner) know and he'll DOUBLE your space and bandwidth

piece of shit fiat vs ferrari modena 360 vs ferrari f1. ready, set, go!

A Little Feedback From My Peeps Today.

Every once in awhile I like to reserve a post specifically for reader feedback and let people sound off. Today is one of those days. And just so you know I'm not just being lazy, here's what I have on the menu for upcoming posts. My thoughts on gun control. The first time I used the word "nigger" in anger. The time I shot a hole in my kitchen wall with my .45 handgun (completely due to my own stupidity). And politics (or my lack thereof). So please, without any further ado, I turn the floor over to Troy and Mark to get things started...

So that tells me, the plane pictures are still a mystery. I mean sure, it's definitely a plane what had its ass kicked by hail, but did it happen this week or almost two decades ago, is anyone's guess. Either way, I'm sure the flight crew wasn't laughing at the time.

Hmmm, well, his wife sounds like a Grade-A cunt. I bet she just leeches off that poor bastard, like there's no tomorrow. I do bet being that high up, his headlights shine pretty good and you can see things you wouldn't normally catch in a car.

Okay, so there we have it. Planes, trucks, and raccoons. I think that covers just about everything, and I hope you're all happy to have had this opportunity to speak. w00t.

anyone hungry for a little usb cooking taiwan style?

more crazy asians, this time making paper guns. yep, they're each made from paper

I Got A Couple Things For Ya.

This weekend my brother is flying down for a visit, so I hope the Florida weather holds up where we can get out and enjoy some sunshine.

Well, it looks like Laura has the crown in Nucleus with 35 attempts. So guys, if any of you think you have the balls or the brains to dethrone this young lass, time to step up as there's not much time left!

They say everyone has their price, and apparently, this whore's is $9.99. Somehow I think I'm gonna feel jipped on that one. Yep, some people are just fucking morons.

having trouble understanding the middle east crisis? use this useful buddy list to help!

ari gold, you are gold, sir. you are gold

Smile Pretty For The Camera.

Let's start off with a little something from the "Oooooo! Ahhhhhh!" category shall we? For starters, some pictures of Shuttle Discovery's return to flight in July of 2005. Yeah I know they're a little dated, but I just got em. Anyway, the last three pictures are of the Solid Rocket Booster recovery. Now check out these videos from the actual SRB's themselves. First facing backwards... watch Florida get smaller and smaller. Now facing forward... watch the shuttle get smaller and smaller. Coooooooooool. I'm sure glad they came home safe.

My dog shit a dick - [photo]Barta

and this, ladies and gentlemen, is why we wear helmets

choose your own adventure: a keg party

Awwww, I Loved All Your Moms, Too.

Okay, here's how Nucleus us shaping up. Right now, brian is in the lead by completeing the entire game with only 86 restarts. And no, I am not giving points for creativity for those who make it tothe final level to get the passwortd, restart and complete with 1 try.

Trust me, I look very closely at each entry and can weed out the ones that smell a little fishy.

and exclusive EHOWA preview of this season's college cheerleaders from the south!

If KARR Is Back, Someone Better Find KITT.

Is it me, or does this Karr guy really creep you out? Je just looks like a kidfucker. Or a pirate. "Yarr". I just like saying that. Yarr. Karr. Karr. Karr. Karr. Karr. Karr.

Okay, enough of that. Tell me is you can figure out whoch of these pictures is real, and which are computer generated. I got 8 out of 10.

Does this ambulance/hearse remind anyone else of The Ghostbusters?

Now I'm not saying my ex-sister in law was a bitch, but here's a picture of her riding to work. You be the judge. I'd love someone to help me figure out the physics of that one.

how big is a solar flare, you might ask? answer: BIG

We're Feeling Very Visual Today.

Get In Line Right Behind Your Mom!

Samuel L. Jackson on The Daily Show to promote Snakes on a Plane, discussing whether he dies or not and the possibility of a sequel. That's right, Samuel said snakes on a motherfuking plane!

Okay, since the last Game Challenge of Virus kind of sucked because as soon as you beat the game the screen went blank... we have our next up to bat. If I'm not mistaken, I've posted it before, but ti was back when I wasn't keeping track of who's score got what. it's a game called Nucleus and you're only going to need your mouse button and a lot of patience. You might think it's easy at first, but wait until you his covalent bonds in level 6. it just gets worse with ionic and metallic bonds. UPDATE: Neal made Level 15

Oh, and I've found a pretty cool religion and hope that you'll join me in my new place of worship. As of this morning, I've become a member of the Church of the Smoking Hot French Newscaster. Because for sterters, she's very photogenic and you know, Islam just isn't my thing.

after making $6.50 an hour for six years, this dj quits her job live on the air. that's right, she quits this bitch

I'm Sorry, I Didn't Catch Your Name.

We've all seen some pretty good pranks pulled in our day, but the guys at Phone Losers have us all beat. Check out this one and then this one, and then you can read more about em here.

I saw a bumper sticker that read, "A bad day of fishing is better than a good day at work." Hmmm, I wonder if this guy still thinks that's true? Him, probably not. But this guy, whoa-ho! You better believe he had a bad day at work. After the picked the bulldozer up off him, it looks like a scene out of Clerks where he broke his neck trying to suck his own dick! By the way, exactly how the hell do you flip over a bulldozer on level ground?

Today I used my new bought credit card to buy some gifts for people. Some concert tickets for one brother and a new t-shirt for my other brother. I had kicked around sending food to some friends in Lousiana, but it looks like they already had something to eat.

sure i'm all for democracy, but sometimes a monarcy has its advantages, too

Ya Know, Somehow I Find This Lady Kinda Hot.

A ceasefire. In the Middle East. Riiight. I'll tell you what folks. I promise I'm not going to jerk off for as long as this cease fire lasts. And we all know, I love jerking off. And my guess is I'll be rubbing one out like usual no later than this weekend. You watch and see.

I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking cake!

We've all seen the shortened version of Scarface where it's just fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck. Hmmm, I wonder what would happen if they did the same thing for Deadwood? Hmmmmmm? I bet their blooper reel must be a hoot.

Holy shit, will you check out this hot chick on the left! Yowsa! What a looker! Seriously, why even bother taking that picture? What's the point? I sure wish I knew.

signs, signs, everywhere, there's signs..

due to EXTREME graphic violence, the following gallery is intended for mature audiences only

Tell Him I Said Hello!

No wonder this guy won, if my opponent was shitting himself it might knock me out of my mental game, too.

"i know, we'll hide from american forces in this nice bunker. they can't get us here"

nothing says fun like coco-cola and grand theft auto. great fucking video.

I'm Underground, Bitch!

Jesus Christ, these fucking ISLAMIC FASCISTS who tried to avoid security and bomb the planes in the UK just won't give up will they? I mean every time I turn around there's ISLAMIC FASCISTS in the news. I sure do wonder when this international war with ISLAMIC FASCISTS is going to end, don't you? And good luck to everyone who is going to be travelling by plane for the next few weeks, as airport security sure will have their hands full looking for ISLAMIC FASCISTS.

Since the Middle East has been in the news for a long time it occurred to me how little we knew about it. So, here is a test. It is only a geography test. It's amazing how little we truly know about the area that has been in the headlines for so long... But then again, once it's all glowing from our nukes, will anyone even care?

asian chick takes a picture of her face every day since 11/1/2001. i'm just glad she finally changed her glasses.

it's a personality survey,m but eh, it's not a personality survey. it's neat so just do it

Wow, I've Never Done It On My Own Before.

Yeah, I might have had a few drinks, what's it to you?

If you're a fan of Ricky Bobby, you can show it one of two ways. If you're a pussy you can simply sign up for the Fast Club. But if you're a man?! Well now, if you're a man... well then there's only one way to show your love!

Awww, daddy must be proud! Well, this tattoo should make this girl easy to spot when she starts doing hardcore porn, or for when her father has to identify her body. Either, or works for me.

Kite Tube Recalled After Two Deaths, Several Dozen Injuries - In cooperation with the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, Sportsstuff, Inc., is voluntarily recalling about 19,000 Wego Kite Tubes. The CPSC has received reports of two deaths and 39 injury incidents, with 29 of those resulting in the need for medical treatment. Those injuries included a broken neck, a punctured lung, chest and back injuries and facial injuries. [read more...]

Luba Shumeyko is back. ladies and gentlemen, the girl with the most fucking perfect body. EVER

say it with me: "smells like tequila but i'll fuckin drink it!" "you won't." "oh-ho! say it again." "you won't..."

Yeah, I Spent The Mornin Searching For Some Pussy On My Computer.

Somebody sent in these photographs of Maria Sharapova doing an unveiling for Range Rover, but I've looked for an hour and I'll be goddamned if I can see the vehicle anywhere. Can you?

Good news.Nobody was injured when the The Australianship HMAS Perth ran into the pier back in the 1980's. The bad news is, they disciplined the ship by blowing the motherfucker up and turning into an artificial reef. Check out the live UNDERWATER webcam here.

Aw c'mon man, I know this is the only place big enough for a semi-truck, but like the sain says... no parking! C'mon, we're worried about pollution here, you stupid asshole!

So if it looks like you're going to kick the game's ass, you better be pretty quick with that Print-Screen button...

office pranks. yeah it's all fun and games until somebody loses an office. and a computer. and a chair. and a ...

Jason with 313k - Jeff (cirrected name)

Awww, Everyone Loves Midgets.

Man, the skyrocketing cost of fuel sure is hitting the airlines hard. They're constantlybeing forced to some up with cost cutting ideas.

Put that in yer muthafuckn pipe and smoke it. Military aviation sure has come a long way, hasn't it?

Okay. Arithmetiles. High score is Brandon with 235,550 and now Arcade Lines is Erick with 1,288. And remember people - try to be a little unique with your file names - sending me "myscore.jpg" gets overwritten 20 other people. Okay. Next challenge? I was thinking about Virus. Pretty simple. Green (you) vs Red (computer). Rotate one piece clockwise 90 degrees at a time. Whoever takes over the screen wins. You'll see how it's played once you go a few turns. I ain't got no score yet, but I will soon.

crazy fads of the 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's... well, you get the idea

Lego My Eggo.

Holy fucking shit does this girl look like Lindsay Lohan, or what? And I'm talking about the hot one, not the skinny bag of antlers one. She could make a metric assload of money as a stripper, starting with my $20.

Okay, idea solicitation time. I'd actually like to start giving out prizes for the Game Challenges I've been issuing -- nothing huge, just a small token like copy of some crazy fucking movie or something. But. As I have reason to suspect a conspiracy is underfoot, as I believe I've received one photoshopped score already, I can only imagine that things will get worse once prizes are on the line when people will do anything to win. So how to keep people honest? Any ideas? By the way, Mike, I've restored your high score.

After I received these hand injury pictures, I pinged the guy back asking for some any background relating to how the injury occured, but I haven't received a reply yet. But somehow I got a hunch that says that booze was involved...

Hmmm, here's an interview that I bet you'll wish you could unsee afterwards.

rap, rap, rappin time! it's the chuck norris rap.

Today Is All Boobs And Star Wars!

Current high score in Arithmetiles is Snowbomb with 176k. One person sent in a pic of what might have been a higher score, but the image was so fucking small I couldn't read it. Don't worry about resizing the screen captures - just send me the whole thing and I'll resize/crop as necessary. Plus, I need to see the url of the game you played at, so I can make sure you're playing the same (limited) one we are and not trying to backdoor anybody. Also, a new Switcher high score (Jeff), and Blow Up (Mike). And remember, game challenges are posted here.

oh, and don't forget - today is happy hiroshima day!

So We're Speeding Right Along!

Links, links, links. Porting all the counted links over to linkfacts has been completed, and things are buzzing along MUCH fucking faster. Hopefully, all the little quirks that were happening before with linkcounter will have disappeared. If anyone has any problems with the new counting mechanism, by all means, lemme know. In the meantime, rock on Darth Vader.

Ok, let's get started. I made a page to post all the game challenges we've had to date. I've also received some new scores for Switcher and Arithmetiles (155k) which I still have to post. Hey a brotha's only got two hands. And speaking of needing two hands, hey ladies, I've got something for you. Now I don't wanna brag or nothing, but I will tell you it's almost 20 inches long. So seriously, if you think I'm sexy and ya want my body, c'mon baby let me know.

Looks like the fucking whack jobs at Westboro Baptist Chursh are setting themselves to bite off more than they can chew. I sense a hastened bill passing sometime soon. You know, to be completely honest, I'm surprised nobody has killed these people yet. Seriously. Like a distraught family or a veteran with PTSD. Just walk up to Fred Phelps at a protest, and with no screaming or arguing, just whip out a gun and BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! And let's be honest, not a jury in the world would convict. Am I right?

fifty cunnilingus tips - from women. seriously, this is a must read guys.

only one month left to regular season and we're still in first place - suck it yankees!

the results of a recent study yields the reason why SAT scores are continuously getting lower and lower

Man, It's So Hot I'm Seeing Double!

It sure is hot outside. Shit, I've all but taken off all my clothes. How hot is it? I'll tell you. It's so hot ...

- That Star Jones went back to The View just to get the cold shoulder from Barbara Walters.
- That Mel Gibson went to the synagogue just to get a chilly reception.

And speaking of Mel and the trouble he's in. The DUI is the least of his fucking worries. I'd be more worried about how he's going to explain these pictures to Mrs. Gibson! Uh oh! Alcohol sure does make us do crazy things. Ha!

Hmmm, if blondes do it better, and it's better topless... ergo all blondes better go topless!

Out with the old, in with the new. The game challenge for Arrow Tag is officially over. The winner was not Ken with 3:53, nor was it Shane with 3:50. it was Mike from NJ with 3:47 to take the checkered flag. And if last week you told me that game could be completed in under four minutes, I'd have called you a fuckin liar. Good job guys. Which brings us to...

Now granted, that's a pretty cool fucking game, and it makes you think. Plus once I discovered you can get more points by recycling the tiles, I was off and running. My only convern is the 8 level max, but eh, maybe you guys don't care and it's just a who can score the most points in 8 levsls kind of challenge? So I'll leave it up to you guys. Anybody else got a suggestion, or shall we go with Arithmetiles?

A few people wrote in regarding yesterday's gory movie clip...

So in closing, I just want to point out we've all seen the trailer for Snakes on a Plane, but have you seen Snakes on a Babe? I didn't think so, muthafucka!

a link to a bunch of videos = eh, ok. -- but a link to a bunch of videos of girls getting naked = way cool

marine sues senator murtha for libel -- good, fuck him! the marine should sue his fucking balls off!

And They've Got Hourly Service! Walk-Ins Welcome!

Remember this kid who got a Nintendo 64 for Christmas? Yeah well he needs money now.

You do remember what they say about hell having no fury, right? Because that can only lead to this.

no surprise here. can you pick up on lance bass' gay factor from this old sharon osbourne interview?

want to try some smooth new moves with the girlfriend but don't want to do it wrong. these will help

Oh, C'mon Now, We've All Done It.

Jesus Christ, so Mel Gibson got loaded and mouthed off a bit. Yippee skip. Let the one person among us who hasn't made a complete asshole of themselves when they were hammered speak up now. ... ... ... Yeah, that silence you heard was all of looking at our shoes. Look if you want to say 'naughty-naughty' because he got tagged for DUI, then go for it. But anything you say in a drunken stupor shall now be held against you in the court of Ernie Law. Besides, if after seeing Passion of the Christ you're really surprised that Mel doesn't like Jews, you need to have your fucking head examined. Who the fuck cares what he thinks? Wake up people, we've all done something stupid at one time or another. Besides, he's in enough shit as it is.

So the terrible days of linkcounter are (almost) behind us. I wanna give props to Blake from linkfacts.com for ensuring a smooth transition. w00t.

Today's physics lesson...

Does that kind of look like mumbo-jumbo to you? Well here it is in layman's terms. Water has more resistance than air, as demonstrated by this hapless your fellow.

microsoft windows vista demo goes bad - that's why i use dragin naturally speaking!

remember... hummers only look tough!