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April 8, 2008

Petty Officer Second Class Michael A. Monsoor Will Be Awarded His Medal Of Honor Today.

Petty Officer Michael A. Monsoor, United States Navy, distinguished himself through conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty as a Combat Advisor and Automatic Weapons Gunner for Naval Special Warfare Task Group Arabian Peninsula in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom on 29 September 2006. He displayed great personal courage and exceptional bravery while conducting operations in enemy held territory at Ar Ramadi Iraq.

During Operation Kentucky Jumper, a combined Coalition battalion clearance and isolation operation in southern Ar Ramadi, he served as automatic weapons gunner in a combined SEAL and Iraqi Army (IA) sniper overwatch element positioned on a residential rooftop in a violent sector and historical stronghold for insurgents. In the morning, his team observed four enemy fighters armed with AK-47s reconnoitering from roads in the sector to conduct follow-on attacks. SEAL snipers from his roof engaged two of them which resulted in one enemy wounded in action and one enemy killed in action. A mutually supporting SEAL/IA position also killed an enemy fighter during the morning hours. After the engagements, the local populace blocked off the roads in the area with rocks to keep civilians away and to warn insurgents of the presence of his Coalition sniper element. Additionally, a nearby mosque called insurgents to arms to fight Coalition Forces.

In the early afternoon, enemy fighters attacked his position with automatic weapons fire from a moving vehicle. The SEALs fired back and stood their ground. Shortly thereafter, an enemy fighter shot a rocket-propelled grenade at his building. Though well-acquainted with enemy tactics in Ar Ramadi, and keenly aware that the enemy would continue to attack, the SEALs remained on the battlefield in order to carry out the mission of guarding the western flank of the main effort.

Due to expected enemy action, the officer in charge repositioned him with his automatic heavy machine gun in the direction of the enemy’s most likely avenue of approach. He placed him in a small, confined sniper hide-sight between two SEAL snipers on an outcropping of the roof, which allowed the three SEALs maximum coverage of the area. He was located closest to the egress route out of the sniper hide-sight watching for enemy activity through a tactical periscope over the parapet wall. While vigilantly watching for enemy activity, an enemy fighter hurled a hand grenade onto the roof from an unseen location. The grenade hit him in the chest and bounced onto the deck. He immediately leapt to his feet and yelled “grenade” to alert his teammates of impending danger, but they could not evacuate the sniper hide-sight in time to escape harm. Without hesitation and showing no regard for his own life, he threw himself onto the grenade, smothering it to protect his teammates who were lying in close proximity. The grenade detonated as he came down on top of it, mortally wounding him.

Petty Officer Monsoor’s actions could not have been more selfless or clearly intentional. Of the three SEALs on that rooftop corner, he had the only avenue of escape away from the blast, and if he had so chosen, he could have easily escaped. Instead, Monsoor chose to protect his comrades by the sacrifice of his own life. By his courageous and selfless actions, he saved the lives of his two fellow SEALs and he is the most deserving of the special recognition afforded by awarding the Medal of Honor.

Petty Officer Second Class Michael A. Monsoor, United States Navy, Medal of Honor Recipient.

March 31, 2008

Because Everybody Loves Porno.

"In my country, we have two parties. The stupid party, of which I am a member, and the evil party, which we oppose vehemently. Sometimes my party wins, in which case we get lots of stupid legislation. Sometimes the other party wins, in which case we get lots of evil legislation. Occasionally, the parties act together in what we call 'bipartisanship,' in which case we get legislation which is both evil and stupid."

The most awesomest game challenge in the history of awesome game challenged. Ok you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my BOOMSTICK! The 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that? Good now... ready... PULL!

mapjack. you see what jack sees. click blue dot to jump there. drag the picture to turn. click on the star for tools...

detective to offer hooker glossary in upcoming "d.c. madam" trial...

March 29, 2008

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

back flip gone bad - the last guy to take the plunge doesn't flip so well and smacks his head on the cliff. redneck.

catspootoo - cornholingballoons - heynicegunsgirl - inretrospect - jesuspoodtoo - naughtylittlepiggies

March 28, 2008

Those Got Your Attention, Eh?

As you may have heard the Bush Administration said each one of us will get a nice rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China. If we spend it on gasoline, it will all go to the Arabs. Neither will help the American economy. So we need to keep that money here in America. The only way to do that is to spend it on the only businesses still in the U.S -- beer and hookers.

The Tank Cartridge, 120mm, Canister, XM1028, is a tank round comprised of 1150 (est.) tungsten balls, which are expelled upon muzzle exit. There is no fuse on this round. While the dispersion pattern increases with range as the velocity of the balls decreases, the dense tungsten balls are used to minimize the velocity fall-off. Yes, you read that correctly, it's a shotgun round for a tank. Lets see how well it works, shall we? The real fun comes in the last 3 seconds of the video. Thanks Don.

Oh, and here's the VIOLENT TRAILER for Poultrygeist.

Ernie, This was one of your links last night. This image is great but what the hell is in the background. At first I though it was a child with her hair done but the more I look, I'm just not sure. Chris.

Can you believe it? Heather Mills is spending Sir Paul's money already!

Instead of becoming the first Jewish President, Spitzer became, at more than $4,000 per session, the first Jewish guy to pay retail.

if you post regularly at any forums, then you need to have a great avatar. avatars etc has some good shit you can use.

ten films that make your high school history teacher cry

the east campus nerd test. check all boxes for which your answer is yes. submit button is at the bottom.

March 27, 2008

This Update Was Sixteen Years In The Making.

I realize I'm dating myself a little bit, but while I was digging through my lockbox and searching for all my tax return info, I stumbled across a slightly browned envelope that contrained some paperwork and a set of keys. Not remembering what he fuck was in there, I opened it up and was surprised to find all the paperwork from my 1992 Ford Ranger -- the first vehicle I ever purchased brand spanking new from the showroom floor. Ahhh, the memories. I was in the Air Force and at that exact week, was down taking Banyan training in Westboro, MA. I remember leaving class early to take delivery of my new truck.

I'm glad I didn't discover until much later, how badly I got fucked in that deal. I only negotiated $422 off the sticker price - that's less than 3% off. Plus, I want to remember something about a rebate since that was the last model year before a major redesign. That's a royal cornholing. Plus I took it in the dumper on my trade in -- and that's after getting them up from $400. So you fucked me, Phil, you really fucked me. But that's okay, I was a young'un and that was my first dance with a car salesman mano-a-mano, so what can you expect. I even still have a brand set of new keys that were only used once to make sure they work. Ahh, that truck will always hold a special place in my heart.

But anyway, what made me decide to post about this, was since the VIN number was on the bill of sale, I decided to see how my old steed was doing. So, like a fucking idiot, I plopped $30 down to CARFAX and decided to take a look. Oddly enough, we see my original purchase, but not when I traded it in on December 13, 2004. There it evidently sat on Burlington Dodge's sales lot until 04/14/1995 when some fucker from Wilmington, MA bought it. From there, the truck migrated slightly southwards to Pembroke, before ultimately being sold to someone in South Carolina. But here's the funny part - pay close attention to the 03/21/2001 entry -- the new owner there was in the Air Force as well, stationed at Charleston AFB. The truck was then sold to someone who reregistered it one day after the Sept 11th attacks, where they drove it for seven more years BEFORE CRASHING THE MOTHERFUCKER THREE MONTHS AGO, RIGHT BEFORE NEW YEARS. THANKS DICKFACE.

if i ever ran into the guy who crashed my truck, i'd give him the bootie flu

wait for it..... wait for it..... wait for it..... wait for it..... there it is.

March 26, 2008

And The Same To You, Kid.

Sorry, I would have gotten this update posted sooner, but I was busy dodging sniper fire in Bosnia.

For those of you who don't pay attention to this kind of thing, March 20th was the first day of Spring. The first day of Spring occurs on the Vernal Equinox. That means the Sun will cross directly over the Earth's equator giving us an exactly equal day and night. For the longest time I thought the seasons changed because at one point in its orbit the Earth is closer to the Sun and at another point it is farther away. I am embarrassed to say that I was in college before I learned that it is the Earth's tilt that causes the seasons. In the Summer the Earth is tilted toward the Sun and in the Winter, it's tilted away. Not wanting my nieces and nephews to grow up to be the ignoramus I was, I took the opportunity to give them a little lesson in celestial mechanics. "Do you know what today is?" "Thursday!" "Right! But more importantly today is the first day of Spring. That means from now on the days will start to get warmer as we get closer to Summer. Do you know why the days are warmer in the Summer than in the Winter?" "Global warming!" they cheered in unison. Fucking Al Gore.

Unfortunately, it looks like things might be going south on the Star Defense challenge. Read on...

Long time player, first time submitter... just want to say, after about level 20 or so the game gets to be a little boring. no pick up in speed or difficutly, just more of the same thing. I finally gave up after level 33. Probably aint gonna be the best score out there but i just couldnt justify spending more time on the same thing over and over. (now if im wrong and the game only starts to get going at level 35 i swear im gonna let lose some gunpowder) - bob

Hey Ernie... just thought I would let you know that the new challenge game probably isn't going to work out so well. It turns out that you can't really die once you get to about level 15, you can set up a "hyper" satellite on each corner of the map and pretty much pwn everything FOREVER. The game doesn't really increase in difficulty. I am on wave 27 with $1,309,878 and no end in sight.... Thanks for running a great site! Scott

So it wasn't lack of firepower that caused the game ended, it was boredom. I finally just let all my guns run out of ammo and that was it. Also am I the only one who notices that defense is misspelled? They have it as defence in the html bar. Will

The following is a word-for-word reenactment of The Hills. The people you are about to see are not Heidi, Spencer, and Lauren but senior citizens hired to portray Heidi, Spencer, and Lauren. They were not harmed in the making of this show.

barker turned me on tot he rock of love - this one is for you, barker

behold, the greatest movie of the 21st century -- POULTRYGEIST: NIGHT OF THE CHICKEN DEAD. you MUST watch the trailer. - more

March 25, 2008

Don't Fuck With The Jews.

This past Easter weekend I was catching up on my Tivo and came across a show on the Discovery Channel, that compared the physics of different fighting styles. I can't remember the name of it, but in one episode, they compared the chin punches of an MMA fighter with a Judo guy with a boxer. Measured the joules of energy, number of degrees in head deflection, that sort of stoff. Another compared kicks, etc. Anyway, one episode focused on the effects of military training, specifically overcoming environmental impacts. A Navy SEAL had to climb an eight foot wooden fence, walk on a zig-zagged balance beam, and then use a paintball gun to shoot three simulated bad guys. He had him do this three times, and the recorded average was something like 20 seconds. Then they dunked him in freezing water for 30 minutes and had him repeat the tests. Poor fucker was shivering his ass off, had trouble pulling the trigger multiple times but still managed to complete the mock obstacle course averaging 23 seconds in the three runs following his ice bath. The scientists then went on about how this guy did so great and how his training really paid off because the cold affects your body, and how adverse conditions cause your reaction time to slow, blah-blah-blah.

Next they wanted to test the effects of heat exhaustion instead of hypothermia. So they bring in the biggest fucking Jew I've ever seen in my life. Some guy who is former Shayetet 13, which is the Israeli equivilent to our Navy SEALs. His test is to stop and perform a set of 10 calisthenics and then reassemble a mock handgun before having to score three kill shots on a bad guy. Average time after three runs? 18 seconds. Then they wrap this poor fucker in in plastic to prevent the evaporative cooling effect of sweating, put him on a treadmill under these two huge fucking heat lamps, and they run him, and run him, and run him. After an hour the guy's core temp soars to 103 and he drops nine pounds in water weight from sweating. The scientists keep asking him, "Are you okay? Do you want to continue?" Sure enough, Super Jew does. And after he marinates for however long the scientists want him to, they decide it's time to retest him. As they're peeling all the plastic off him, the lead scientist is talking about how he should be feeling nauseous, have double vision, loss of balance, decreased dexterity, etc. They start the stopwatch and let Super Jew loose. He bangs through the calisthenics, reassembles the mock handgun and shoots the bad guy in... 16 seconds. That's two seconds faster than when he started. At this point, I start laughing my balls off. He did it a few more times and got his time down to 13 seconds, with the final run seeing him empty the entire clip into the bad guy, completely covering his mask in paintballs.

They did another test, but I was laughing too hard to really pay attention. Something about an Army Ranger and seeing in the dark, I dunno. Anyway, it's like I always say, don't fuck with the Jews, man, don't fuck with the Jews.

Hey Ern, I live in Oak Harbor, Washington which is about an hour drive from Marysville, Washington and I had the privilege to be near the crash when it happened. Just wanted to let you know that not only was there pizza on that truck, but there were some kegs of beer too. Must have been some wicked ass party to have a semitruck cater pizza and beer. Keep up the good work. Sneaky Pete

A five-year-old boy diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia was granted one wish from the Make-A-Wish-Foundation ... to be a US soldier - Dave.

Ernie, I have been viewing your site for the better part of 5 or 6 years now. In all that time you have kept the site fresh with your witty and sometimes brutally honest point of view. In addition to this, you have also reposted community submitted content; I would like to share something I found on Google Maps. It is a picture of a crack deal going down in The Windy City. Brandon.

On the flip side of Super Jew, ever wonder what other celebs follow the teachings of Scientology created by L. Ron Hubbard? Well wonder no more. Here are 67 celebrities both minor and major, associated with Scientology. Yep, they had me at Doug E. Fresh.

it's not the shortest article i've ever read, but here's an explanation as to why gas is so freaking' expensive

hey, how's that new jaguar working out for you? now you can buy your parts at the kwik-e-mart!

March 24, 2008

The Thinker.

Okay first off, I wanted to put out another game challenge. Last week went challenge free, and I didn't like that. So in Star Defense you set satellites in orbit to defend your home planet. The cheaper the satellite, the less ammo it carries. You start out with three small satellites and earn money/buy bigger satellites from there. In sort of a rush to get this update posted, I made it to level 7 on my first try and will do more this afternoon.

Indisputable proof of global warming: The French national coccer team in 1959. The French national coccer team in 2008.

Ernie. Found this site, it's a sad story about a boy in Bungoma that was attacked and had his ear and penis cut off. Well, some doctors preformed re-constructive surgery to replace his ear and penis. The first thing about this video is the music playing, who the hell thought this tune would be the right choice for this video. Then the penis reconstruction part, they used skin from his arm to make a new penis, WTF!!!! You've got to see this. Scotty

[In response to this picture] -- No pizzas on CP Rail, we make omlettes instead! Hofy

Ernie, I have kept this grammatical masterpiece in my favorites for years. I can't remember if I found this on your website or another. When I was a net admin in the Marines, we had a couple guys like George and your latest post made me think of it. Jesse

And this past weekend on Easter Sunday, we suffered the 4,000th KIA in Operation Iraqi Freedom. It's tough to comment on this number, because doing so implies this death was more (or less) significant that number 3,999 or 4001, or unless things take a significant change for the better, death number 5,000. We've seen the war on our televisions and read about it in our newspapers for five years now. When the war first started, four soldiers killed in combat would have made the headlines. Now it's happens so frequently that it's page three material, except for those unlucky enough to be the milestone numbers. I think we the American public have become immune to what's going on over there, as if somehow combat today is less deadly than it was four or five years ago. 4,000 It can be viewed as a seemingly insignificant number, or a catastrophically high one, depending on how you look at it. Over 6,800 Americans were killed taking the Japanese Island of Iwo Jima, and that was in just a five week span. Almost 1,500 Americans were killed on June 6, 1944 alone, and over 9,300 by the time the beachheads of Normandy were secure. In fact, the Beast of Omaha was singlehandedly responsible for over 2,000 Allied casualties from a single machine gun. So compare those to Iraq's 4,000 killed in a five year span to those numbers, and our current war doesn't seem so bad.

But one can not easily compare a war that began in 1941 with one that began in 2003. Because in 2003, we watched the start of the war live on our televisions. We didn't have to wait five days to see photos of the the USS Arizona burn, like those Americans after Pearl Harbor. In 1944 we sent 1,000 B-17 bombers to do the same job a single B-2 can do today. And yet World War II saw us fight a global campaign, against two whole nations, on battlefields that crossed six continents, and still manage to have our guys back home in under four years -- all without CNN or laser guided bombs. In Iraq, we see the best trained soldiers, using the most advanced war fighting equipment known to man, completely immersed in instant global communication, and in the same amount of time it took our forefathers to march from end of the globe to another, we're stuck fighting the same battles on the same streets against the same enemies.

And this disproportionate timeline is certainly not to be attributed to any deficiency on the part of the American soldier; our guys didn't fight any harder in the Ardennes forest in 1944 than they are in Samarra now. I think the shortcoming is how the war was/is managed. I think our technological advantages have bought us casualty numbers that are so disproportionately low when compared to prior conflicts, that one can't help but ask, "What's the hold up?" when the timeline doesn't shrink as well. And it's a valid question.

typography: yhe design and use of typefaces as a means of visual communication from calligraphy to the ever-developing use of digital type

the greatest line rider. ever. ever ever ever ever. i can't imagine how long this took to do.

March 23, 2008

March 22, 2008

Insert Your Favorite Easter Weekend Joke Here.

this one is for you, big dean.

wikipedia entry explaining motorcycle countersteering - a video in caser you're stoo stupid to read.

March 21, 2008

Push Right To Go Right? What Kind Of Black Magic Is This?

So I had a handful of experienced motorcyclists write in, all suggesting the same thing to address my turning difficulties. Some presented it as a, "hey try this and watch what happens," experiment, others flat out told me what was going to happen. And the funny part is, I remember reading this very tip in the good ol State of Florida Motorcycle Handbook. I didn't believe it then, either. What it said was this: When you want to turn in a particular direction, in this case we'll say right, push the right handlebar. Essentially, push right, go right. Which is you sit for a second and think about it, you'll see that it's obviously complete bullshit. Push right means turning the handlebars to the left, so you go left. Duh. If I want to turn the bike to my right -- any bike, a fucking 10 speed, a BMX, a scooter, motorcycle, whatever -- the right handlebar comes towards me, the left away and it goes where the front tire is pointed. So any moron can see this "push right, go right" theory is complete and utter bullshit.

Except it isn't. At the prompting of many, I tried it out yesterday. Heading down the road at eh, 35-40mph or so, I gave a gentle push on the right handlebar. I'll be dipped in dogshit if the bike didn't start to turn right. And when I pushed left, I went left. So there I was heading down the road in third gear, giggling like a toddler who has just been handed his first sparkler on the Fourth of July. Push right, go right. Push left go left. Are you fucking kidding me? It made about as much sense as eating sand when you're thirsty. I struggled to grasp the physics of how this works was happening, but came up kind of empty. Obviously there was some sort of black magic at hand.

So being the curious fellow that I am, decided to try this little trick out on my Bad Ass Scooter (BAS). Sure enough, push right, go right. But the effect was much more pronounced on the BAS because it only weighs 100lbs, versus the 550lbs of the motorcycle. When I pushed right, it was a little too aggressively and I damn near dumped myself off. Fucker sure did turn, though. Anyway, since the effect was magnified I was able to understand what was happening. A gentle nudge to the right handlebar does indeed sent the front tire left, but just a cunt hair. In doing so, the 'bottom half' of the BAS moves left, but the 'top half' of the BAS (which includes my fat ass) stays where it is, thus the bike moves out from beneath you just a tiny bit. When that happens, you're essentially top heavy and listing to the right, even though the front tire is pointed every so slightly to the left. And then you turn the way you're leaning, riding on the inside edge of your front tire.

This act both completely logical ands yet is complete bullshit all at the same time. I sort of have it figured out, but it's still got that black magic feel and makes me crack a grin as I turn. So anyway, this coupled with another tip that Greg offered, had me riding figure eight's in no time. No shit. Turning isn't scary anymore.

Ernie, As a Motorcycle Safety Foundation rider-coach, will you let me give you a few pointers? Good on you for taking it easy and getting used to your bike around your own crib....... and waiting on your helmet. The foam crush earplugs will help immensely with wind noise. So will Shure noise cancelling earbuds; use at your own risk. The low speed turns can be helped by lightly using your rear brake. Drag the brake a little and use the clutch and throttle to load up the drivetrain. Too slow? Let out the clutch a little and let it accelerate against the brake. Too fast? Ease in the clutch a bit and let'er slow down. If you have a good empty parking lot nearby you can practice feathering your clutch while coordinating brake and throttle use. Remember to look ahead of your turn to where you want to be and do NOT put your foot down unless you're absolutely going for a save. Stay the hell away from your front brake whilst learning this or you may get to see how hard it is to pick that beast up off the ground by yourself. Just keeping your chin up will keep you from staring down at your front fender. You have a bit of an advantage over more "experienced" riders in that you don't have any bad habits to break free from. If you've already started it's easier to unlearn them before they get too ingrained. You may want to experiment with your lean angles. Again, an empty parking lot is vital. Start of in first gear, just above idle, and go in circles. First left, then right. As you increase your lean angle, your turning radius will get smaller and smaller. This is a good way to build up confidence in yourself and the bike and show you about how far you can safely lean. These lean angles are pretty reliable, even at speed, if your tires and road surface/conditions are up to it. You will probably be surprised at how far (you'll probably scrape pegs or pipes or floor boards) you can crank that ol' cruiser over. Just remember to keep your feet in place and trust yourself and your machine. Lastly, sign up for your local MSF experienced rider course. It's a good way to get back to basics and reinforces the finer points of control. Ride safe and if you ever get over here to the UK, give me a shout. I just retired and have time to spare! Greg

Let me tell you something. That 'staring at your front fender' shit was all me. I was trying to turn not by turning the handlebars, or leaning, I was trying to turn by sheer fucking will. Going around a corner I felt like Samuel L Jackson at the end of Snakes on a Plane. "Oh shit, left! Left! Troy, turn this big motherfucker left!". But now I look through the turn and like Greg and Danny pointed out, I went go I look. Sombitch. BTW, I'm level 47 of that puzzle game.

Any luck getting the recent phots of Kristin Davis or Audrina Patridge? Thanks. Matt

C'mon Matt! At least challenge me, won't you? Hey Easter is this weekend. Very busy day for the Easter Bunny. But do you know what the Easter Bunny is doing the other 364 days of the year? Kicking ass, that's what.

very cool utility to measure the security of your password. my first randomly generated vax password of "edsulu" - not that good.

twenty actors and actresses who turned down important or popular roles

March 20, 2008

Can Anyone Translate Stupid?


At 12:52 AM 3/19/2008, wrote:
put it back - pleaseeeeeeeeeeees
Big Dean

At 03:35 AM 3/19/2008, Ernie wrote:
what the fuck are you talking about

At 07:52 PM 3/19/2008, wrote:
ok I use firefox {ya ya ya i know}
but i have been viewing "your site"
with it without a problem ,come st.patty
day I can not view any pic's or other stuff
without enabling IE extension then when
I click on a link the freakin popups flow
like crap {hate that}I have not changed any
thing on my end {not even fickin updates to
the OS , box is clean spy/bot HJT agv zone
alarm all say so.Thought it was something
you did to the site. Sorry to jump your
stuff. I'll take a another look see at my
end. And I do read your stuff.
Thanks Big Dean

At 08:03 PM 3/19/2008, Ernie wrote:
Okay, so here's what I got from reading your email... As of St Patrick's Day, you can not view my pictures or "other stuff". I don't know what that means. You click the picture link, the java opens a picture window, but it's blank? Does no java window open at all? Do you get a java error? Does your browser shut down? What if you go to the pictures section, and try to view a picture from there, does that work? What the fuck does "I can not view any pic's" mean -- too vague. "I click on a link the freakin popups flow like crap" I presume this to mean links to other sites? or links native to EHOWA? If you go along the top menu and click through the 'pictures/movie/features' links, do you get popusp then, or only with off site links? The only thing I changed on St patrick's Day was the green background, so I'm curious to find out more of what you're talking about.

At 09:06 PM 3/19/2008, wrote:
The java window is not opening at all and no java
errors the pic's that are links are not visible and just blank boxes,
no browser does not shut down , to vague- the writing
that is high lighted for jpeg's or links does not work
and the two rows of pic-links at the bottom are there but blank
when clicked it just refreshes the page , like crap- just the other
{off site} sites from the links.ok just checked -top menu brings up
page with high lighted links to jpegs but when clicked blanked boxes
no pic's. other stuff-firefox extension that shows redirect links don't
work. ok your site is the only site that i have noticed anything
different on. Sorry to be a pain , something i like or works goes to
crap just a piss off.
Big Dean

Right now I'm about a week behind on my email. I had a buddy in from out of town, I've been riding, it's tax season, blah-blah-blah. But the other night I woke up around 2:30am and just couldn't fall back to sleep to save my life. I even tried beating off. Still wide awake. So fuck it, I decided to sit in front of my computer to get some work done, and that of course is when I first came across this grammatical abortion. Hence my 3:35am initial reply on my part. Anyway that's it. That's where we're at right now. I haven't been able to find the patience to write this fucking idiot back yet. If this truly were a crime from the Major Dumbass Unit, it would undoubtedly be a cold case, that's for sure.

It did however, do wonders to remind me why I had to walk away from customer service. Of the almost quarter of a million words in the English language, I continue to find myself repeatedly bombarded with such penned eloquence as, "java window is not opening at all and no java errors the pic's that are links are not visible and just blank boxes," and, "ok I use firefox {ya ya ya i know} but i have been viewing "your site" with it without a problem ,come st.patty day I can not view any pic's or other stuff." I mean what the fuck am I supposed to do with that? If after hearing a grinding noise come from the left side of your car's engine compartment, would you drive it ot the mechanic and proudly report, "It done don't be workin!" Of course you wouldn't. But even if you did, the mechanic would have the opportunity to get a better understanding of the problem by probing you with questions like, "What kind of noise was it? Did it sound like it was coming from the right or the left? When's the last time the car has been in for service?"

But in a written exchange, one does not have that opportunity for the exchange of information. No, you have to lay everything you have out at once. And for the most part, people do. I receive a dozen emails each day with people asking for (or providing) clear, concise bits of information. Greg offers tips on how to turn my motorcycle. Jason offers a review of the movie Zeitgeist. Andrew voices his opinion on stem cells, while Andy asks if I would be interested in helping him here on the west coast. All are intelligent people, voicing intelligent ideas. This is good. But then, there are the other people. The Big Deans of the world; the guys who couldn't get a coherent thought out of their fucking head if it were greased with gooseshit. Notice how he takes the time to hit the shift key and make {curly braces}, but can't find the time to capitalize an 'I' or insert a fucking period to separate two distinct ideas. No, instead I have to cut my path through eight lines of run on sentences with {clever thoughts} thrown in for good measure. Or the curious use of "your site" in quotation marks -- what like the fucking site isn't mine? Like I'm actually Stephen Fucking King, and Ernie is my pen name?

What the fuck? What have I done to deserve this? I'm not saying everyone has to be an English professor. Christ knows I've had my mistakes, and I can't tell you how many drunken emails I've sent out. But as functioning adults, shouldn't we be able to project our thoughts into written word, with at least some measure of efficiency? How does one function in society with a, "It done don't be workin!" mentality? I don't understand it.

So I'm hoping that one of you out there speak Stupid. Maybe one of you grew up with a sister who was thrown down a flight of stairs. Maybe your brother drank all the colored stuff under daddy's workbench. However you do it; can anyone understand what the fuck this idiot is trying to say? Is anyone even remotely experiencing the same difficulties as he is? Or it is as I suspect, just the unfortunate side effects of having a single digit IQ.

Oh, and Shumpy forwarded me these pictures of two albino deer. I left em full size (1024x768) so those of you with little weenie monitors, beware.

train derailment photo - be sure to read the caption below

i saw someone i know selling their old car on craigslist and it reminded me of the time I sold my last car using similar means.

how awesome is this. she's going to pay for joe francis' legal battles all by herself. schadenfreuden at its very best.

March 19, 2008

Yeah, But Won't It Be All Fucked Up?

So I've been meaning to post my first thoughts on the new motorcycle, and it kept getting overcome by events. So here goes. It's sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet. I've only been riding around my neighborhood - lots of 35-40mph zones, lots of turns, lots of stops, and almost no traffic. And even then I'll admit the first time I took it out for a spin, I was so nervous you couldn't get a pin up my ass with a jackhammer. But after putting some 30 miles on my odometer (remember I had to wait for my helmet) I feel more confident than when my ass first hit the seat, but nowhere near confident enough to take an overnight roadtrip somewhere.

Footboards. I love em. I get a much warmer and fuzzier feeling that I do from footpegs. I thought they were going to give me trouble shifting at first; and they did, but I got used to it pretty quickly. Probably the slowest facet of that I warmed up to was the heel-toe shifter. I kept kicking my foot back to upshift and missing contact, so I'd miss shifts as I was trying to accelerate. I fell back on just toe shifting until I got more used to the bike, and then turned my attention back to the heel-toe. Now using it is almost like second nature. I still occasionally miss shifts -- coming off first gear from a start and then revving the engine in neutral is quite a thrill -- but I'm getting there.

Wind. Wow, how much does this suck, eh? Actually, it's never posed a problem for me in regards to stability because at 550lbs the bike is pretty stable, it's a noise issue. By design, the helmet is pretty quiet when the wind is coming from the front but when it comes from the side, it can get kind of noisy. In time, this won't make a difference, but with me being a n00b I have to listen to the sound of the engine to know when to shift. A few times when the wind was really bad, I would downshift too early when slowing down, and actually chirped the rear tire a couple of times. How cool is that, eh? The Yamaha engine does have a very familiar sound to it, and that helps.

Instrument panel. Specifically the indicator lights fo rneutral and the turn signals. Don't like em. Or rather, they're fine, it's just their location down on the gas tank sucks. First I have to look down, and then if the sun is bright, I can't see shit anyway. The ones on my ATV, which were mounted between the handlebars were much easier to see. But what's a brother gonna do?

Turning. Oh man, kill me. This is by far the weakest part of my game, especially low speed turning, like if you're making a right hand turn off a stop sign. There's two mutually exclusive ideals going on. The first tells me that without enough speed, I'll fall over. The other tells me that with too much speed, I can't turn sharp enough and I'll crash. The former usually wins, resulting in my taking turns like an 18-wheeler. Well, maybe not that bad... if I'm turning right onto a two lane road I can keep it in the right lane, but not by much. I know the key here is to lean with the turn; and that's easy to say but not so easy to do. It's like telling someone who's never driven a standard transmission before, "Oh shifting is easy, you just alternate the gas and clutch." There's more finesse to it than that. Lean too much, and yes, you will tip over especially if you're going slow. Lean to little, and you'll take your turn too wide. Finding that sweet spot is what's proving very challenging. My mind is telling my body to lean and I do, but then there's that split second where your sense of balance interrupts and screams, "Holy sweet mother of fuck! You're leaning too far!" and you find yourself sitting back up. It's a constant battle. Your mind is trying to force the body to overcome it's natural instincts. I guess it's how Pamela felt when Tommy Lee hit about her gag reflex.

I have my rider safety course coming up, and I'm sure that will help. Until then I'll be driving around and enjoying the local scenery. Stopping. Turning. Shifting. And stalking that new chick that moved in at the corner apartments.

no $1 million for you! that's what you get for wearing your hat like a fucking idiot, you whore

cockpit video of an f-15 crash in 1996. engine fire forces emergency landing at 100kt+ too fast resulting in...

March 18, 2008

I'm High Rollin.

Man I don't know about you guys, but I sure had a crazy St Patricks Day.

Two goldfish were in their tank. One turns to the other and says, 'You man the guns, I'll drive.'

Call your congressman! Urge them to say no to nuclear power plants near the coast!

Beautiful girls are a dime a dozen when it comes to Hollywood, but brains … not so much. You don’t have to look too long at the tabloids in the supermarket checkout lines (or hell watch Fox News or CNN for a few minutes and you’re sure to catch the latest on Paris or Lindsay) to see that most famous actresses and singers didn’t exactly graduate from Harvard. But there are movie stars out there who actually did graduate from Harvard. And Yale. And Oxford. Some of the hottest actresses out there have resumes that are more impressive than their looks. Here are ten of the hottest smart girls in Hollywood...

It's not so funny when the shoe is on the other foot, now is it?

buying tips - confessions of a car salesman - part 1: going undercover... awesome 10 part article...

complete list of inmates on arizona's death row - even some broads on there too...

March 17, 2008

Happy St Patrick's Day!

What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day? On St. Patrick's Day, everyone wishes they were Irish!

Two Irishmen were digging a ditch accross from a brothel, and one noticed a Rabbi walk into the place. One said to the other, "It's a sad day when men of the cloth walk into a place like that." After a little while, the other man saw a minister walk into the brothel. He stood up and said to his partner, "Did ya see that? It's no wonder the children today are so confused with the example that the clergy are settin' for them." After about another hour, the first man saw a Catholic priest walk in. He promptly stood up and proclaimed to his partner. "Aw that is truely sad. One of the poor lassies must be dyin'."

An Irishman is walking along the beach one day, and he sees a bottle laying in the sand. He picks it up and starts to brush it off, and out pops a genie. The genie says, "Since you have freed me from the bottle, I will grant you three wishes." The Irishman thinks for a moment and says, "I'm feeling a might thirsty, I think I'll be wishing for a pint of stout." POOF! There is a pint of stout in his hand. He drinks it down, and starts to throw the bottle, when the genie says, "I'd look at that bottle again before I threw it if I were you." So he looks at the bottle, and it is magicaly filling back up with stout. The genie told him, "That is a magic bottle, and it will always fill back up after you finish it." The genie then asked, "What other two wishes can I grant for you?" The Irishman smiles and looks at the bottle in his hand and says, "I'll be taking two more of these!"

What's an Irish seven course meal? A six-pack and a potato.

Why did the Irishman cross the road? To pass out in the other ditch.

"Dad," asked the kid, "can I have five dollars to buy a guinea pig?" "Aw son, here's twenty dollars, son. Go find yourself a nice Irish girl."

Woman: "Help, help, an Irishman tried to rape me!" Cop: "How do you know he was Irish?" Woman: "I had to help him."

Three English men were in a bar and spotted an Irishman. One guy said he was going to piss him off. He walked over to the Irishman and tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a faggot." "Oh really, hmm, didn't know that." Puzzled, the Englishman walked back to his buddies. "I told him St. Patrick was a faggot and he didn't care!" "You just don't know how to set him off, watch and learn." The second Englishman walked over and tapped the Irish man on the shoulder. "I hear your Patrick was a transvestite faggot!" "Oh, wow, I didn't know that, thank you." Shocked beyond belief, the Englishman went back to his buddies. "You're right, he is unshakable!" The third Englishman said "No, no, no, I will really piss him off, you just watch." The Englishman walked over to the Irish man, tapped him on the shoulder and said..."I hear your St. Patrick was an Englishman!" "Yeah, thats what your buddies were trying to tell me."

What's an Irish homosexual? An Irishman who likes girls more than whiskey.

How can you tell the Irish guy in the hospital ward? He's the one blowing the foam off of his bed pan.

One Irishman was downing them faster than usual when the man on the barstool next to him said, "What's wrong?" The first Irishman said, "I'm drinking to the memory of my wife. She was a saint on earth. She went to church every single morning, spent her days reading and quoting the Scriptures, sang hymns and psalms all evening, filled our house with religious statues and paintings, and invited priests and nuns to dinner three times a week." "She sounds like an angel," the second man commented, "I suppose the good Lord took her early to Himself." "No," the first Irishman replied. "I strangled the cunt."

Young Schmitty was taking confession, when he told the Irish priest that he was having impure thoughts about his sister. "Is this a sin, Father?" he asked. The priest nodded and said, "Yes Schmitty, indeed it is a sin...Look at the two beautiful brothers you have."

How can you tell that an Irishman is married? He eats his potatos cooked.

Why did God invent whiskey? So the Irish would never rule the world.

ten great invention ideas for the best st. patrick's day ever.

st. patrick's day | bouncers brace for endless day of controlling rowdy revelers.

you haven't lives until you've read the plot summary to Leprechaun 4: In Space

March 15, 2008

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

if you're a raging pussybag, clap your hands! if you're a raging pussybag, clap your hands!

everyone has herpes - hollywood's 10 biggest sluts of all time

coolest medical images from 2008. red blood cells look yummy. breast cancer cells, not so much.

flatscreenforsale - selftitlick - suckhisbeerdown - violentspectator

March 14, 2008

Thats One Hell Of A Handjob.

One day, long, long ago, there was this woman who surprisingly, did not whine, nag or bitch. But it was a long time ago... and it was just the one day.

So I was blown away to learn they're going make another Incredible Hulk movie, which is surprising given how much the first one got buried at the box office. Granted this one has Ed Norton, who is a much better actor than Eric Bana, but he's also got the reputation for being a major asshole. That's got to make the producers a little nervous. Plus anytime the director gets carried away by a CGI'd main character, there's that potential to turn the audiences off. If it were up to me, just slam some green makeup on and film a real person like they used to with Lou Ferrigno. I find that shit much more believable than some skinny ass actor magically turning into a 500lb monster.

Ernie, Hey man, I’m in your neck of the woods this week visiting my mother in Port Charlotte. Just caught the local news on WINK. Holy crap! The weekend crew is some of the homeliest and most amateurish group of anchors, weather girls and reporters I’ve seen in a long time! Ye howdy, that’s high comedy! Somebody should vidcap that and put it online for the laughs! Any way, I just wanted to drop you a line and tell you to keep up the good work. BTW, I’ve started donating time to the Missing in America project. Turns out there are a few thousand veteran’s remains unclaimed in different backrooms and basements waiting proper interment. These guys deserve our help for this final act. If you have an interest, here’s the site. Also, here’s a story about the situation. Regards, Harold

Heres some fun pics for EHOWA - 1latnem

Hey thanks for the uh, hermaphrodite snowman/woman. That's awesome, really. I don't know what to say.

And unless anyone can beat Bill's score of 7,300 in the Atomz game, I'm going to declare him the winner tomorrow.

an excellent in how to be a complete asshole 101. dude just answer their fucking questions.

dungeon master: the life and legacy of gary gygax

March 13, 2008

I Guess That Was Me Yesterday?

Well now, this didn't take long, now did it. I gotta admit though, if I had $5k laying around and didn't have any pressing needs, then this broad wouldn't be a bad way to spend it. And if you don't have $5k, there's always happy hour at Hooters.

Hey Ern, check out this nice little shopping center I encountered while driving between Sacramento and Sonora, CA (in other words, out in the middle of freaking nowhere). They even had a sports bar! Cheers! Eric

Ernie, At least you get the whole story. Read the last sentence. Justin

You guys seem to be eating up this Atomz game. Current leader is Lance who completed all 12 levels in just under seven minutes, yielding a score of 6,900. Oh, and sorry no update yesterday, I had a really strange day.

well, it's not as interesting as a tour of the monroeville mall, but it's deadmalls dot com.

check out tripadvisor's 2008 top 10 dirtiest hotels, chosen by our members as beyond scummy, and prepare to be utterly disgusted.

little boy diagnosed with cerebral palsy made a dramatic recovery after a transplant using his own umbilical cord blood - STEM CELLS

March 11, 2008

Drink A Corona For $100? I Dunno, Man.

Wow, it looks like thw Brits have some pretty kick ass soldiers too. Maybe not as shapely as our Army medics, but still.

Anyone looking for a good reliable used car? You'll have to pick it up though, she said she won't deliver.

Ourt next game challenge is going to make you use your brain, because you're going to be all splitting atoms and shit. It's a game I linked before in a thumbnail, and I really got hooked on it. SO now you have to beat my score of 5500, because I just can't get those last two atoms to cooperate.

if you like your girls a little more on the, ahem, muscular side, then these links are for you. don't worry they're sfw...

a lifesize picture of a blue whale. yes, i said life sized so yes you will need to scroll. a lot...

March 10, 2008

Wow, You Really Are Out Of Time.

So I have to tell you, my trip to Universal Orlando this past weekend kind of saddened me. One of the rides I always like to make at least one run at, is the Back To The Future Ride. And somehow I missed it in the news when Universal shut it down late last year, so I was left to discover its demise by coming face to face with the UNDER CONSTRUCTION wall that now surrounds it. It was in complete shock. I had no idea. As I stood facing the huge Simpsons characters that were painted up and down the entire length of this plywood wall, I got angry. What the fuck. The Simpsons have been around for what... fourteen years? And they're only getting around to it now? They're going to trade in a classic like Back To The Future for some shitty Simpsons ride that's going to be as shitty as that shitty Simpsons movie? Talk about selling out. You could have at least moved a couple of the Delorean cars to one of the unused buildings and continued the ride in some limited sense. No, instead you shitcanned it altogether and with it all my entire weekend.

I think what angered me the most was by tearing out the BTTF ride, they tore out a little bit of my childhood, too. The year was 1985 and Huey Lewis and the News was teaching me about the power of love. And they way 1955 was portrayed as such a wholesome and simple time, made me appreciate it a little more. Not to mention, if you're Michael J. Fox, that's your fucking legacy man! I know he was very sucessful in Family Ties and Spin City, but somehow it's the feature films that an actor is remembered for. He'll always be Marty McFly to me, and when this ride was shut down, I guess I just feel it lessened him a bit.

U.S. Soldiers with puppies in Iraq and Iraqi dogs protecting U.S. Soldiers. - Paul

Hi Ernie, my boyfriend and I are longtime fans of your site. I took a picture today and thought you may like it. I didn’t know where to email it to you so this seemed like a logical place to do it. Congrats on the new bike, we look forward to seeing more pictures of you out riding soon! - Scovill

Ernie, I’m a long time fan of your site and have never written until now. I just wanted to drop you a line and let you know the fellow in the kentuckyeducation.jpg in the March 5, 2008 update is wearing a University of Kansas toboggan. I have no love for the University of Kentucky (I attend the University of Louisville) but I sure hate for the Jayhawks to be denied the honor of claiming this particular fan. I love your site and look forward to every update, keep up the good work! Justin

So fuck you, Universal. Now I don't feel so bad that one of your employees filmed the entire ride and put it on YouTube. At least I got to ride on it once, and see the hoverboard, train locomotive and other props from the trilogy before you tore my heart out. You guys suck elephant cock.

Hey Brian, this is for you. It's the Sicilian/English translation from the resturant scene in The Godfather. Don't say I've never done anything for you.

a 19-year-old medic from texas will become the first woman in afghanistan and only the second female soldier since world war ii to receive the silver star.

i have a very small penis. i'm not ashamed to admit it. i've come to terms with it and now i've even found someone who will date me in spite of it.

March 9, 2008

Since I Missed Friday.

magician teller (he talks!) produced a short video about his life as the sole survivor of a zombie uprising

build your very own infrared goggles for under $10 - a human ir vision experiment

March 8, 2008

Insert Your Favorite Saturday Joke Here.

A dog is truly a man's best friend. If you don't believe it, just try this experiment. Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour. When you open the trunk, which one is really happy to see you? Oh, and the winter wonderland phonecam pics are from my brother who is still trapped in New York.

this iraqi boy knows who will not kill him and who will save him

the housing market crash and you. fuck you. fuck you too.

leave it to the brits to take family guy's tom tucker one step further - it's a boy with an ass for a face.

antisepticbagbalm - fightingoverrum - mothernatureintro - multitasking - someonelostabet - supermanhitsskidrow

March 6, 2008

And The First Correct Answer Was...

Ernie, the answer to the riddle today is the tenth goldsmith. What the sultan did was have the first goldsmith put in one coin. Each one thereafter put in one more coin than the goldsmith before him. So the first goldsmith put in one coin and the second goldsmith put in two coins and the third put in three… and so on. After all of the goldsmiths had put in their coins, there were 55 coins total. If each of the coins were to weigh 10 grams each, the total weight would have been 550 grams. Since the total weight was only 540 grams, the sultan knew that the cheater was the goldsmith that put in ten coins. He knew this because if you take away his ten coins, the total number of coins would be 45 and the weight would be 450 grams….. then when you add ten more coins that weigh 9 grams each (and totaling 90 grams) the total weight of the coins was 540 grams. Thanks for making me think today!! -Matt

I'm strolling around Universal Studios in Orlando for a little fun in the sun today. Watch the phonecam for updates.

famous assassinations: who could doctors save today? bad news for jfk and mlk jr.

various cancer survival rates, in graphical format. hang in there patrick.

March 5, 2008

The Sultan and the Cheat.

Sultan ordered ten goldsmiths to make ten coins each. Each coin was to weigh exactly ten grams of pure gold. One of the goldsmiths was a bad man. He decided to cheat. He made all his ten coins one gram short. Now the Sultan heard that one of the goldsmiths had cheated. He also heard that this man had made each of his coins one gram short.

The Sultan was a very clever person. He took a certain number of coins from each of the smiths, weighed them together once only and found their weight to be 540 grams. This was enough for him to find out which one of the goldsmiths had cheated.

How did the Sultan do it and who was the cheat?

Check this out before the cops make me take it down. And as usual fuck you fo rnever posting anything I send you. Rob

Oh, and the leader in Trigger Ball is Scott with 815.

my 14th level ranger salutes you. so long gary gygax, we hardly knew ye.

a world map and all the internet domain extensions associated with each country

March 4, 2008

Idle Hands Do The Devil's Work.

Over the past few days I've had a lot of requests to comment on a video that recently surfaced, of the Marine in Iraq throwing a puppy off a cliff.And while I can comment on the idea as a whole -- of a trained American soldier committing an act of unspeakable cruelty -- I can't comment on the actual video itself, because I haven't watched it. I've had numerous opportunities to do so, but I haven't clicked on the links. Nor will I. It's simply something I don't want to see, nor will I post a link to it either. And no, not because it's an American as the bad guy, just because it's something I don't need to see. I rank it up there with the Nick Berg beheading video -- something else I've never watched. I just don't see any need to.

Anyway, said puppy tossing video surfaced on the internet about, eh, three or four days ago. When I read the text of the link, I just sighed and moved on. You just know it's not a hoax, or a staged video. That yes, one of our guys did it. And me being very pro-military and pro-animal, this obviously puts me into an uncomfortable position. I'm watching an entity that I idolize beat up on an entity that I cherish. I guess this is how a little kid feels when he watches his father smack around his mom.

Looking back at Daisy, the dog who was set on fire because she repeatedly trespassed into a neighbor's yard, you can at least see the rationale behind the neighbor's actions. I'm not saying I understand them or that he was justified, but you can at least see where he was coming from. He had a goal in mind; to stop the dog from coming into his yard. And granted, dousing her with gasoline and setting her on fire is probably one of the most fucked up and psychotic ways to achieve this goal, but at least there was a rational goal behind his irrational action. From the few snippets I've read describing this latest puppy tossing video, the Marine holds up a puppy whose paws have been tied, and then tosses the puppy off a cliff. And perhaps what frightens ms most about the thought of this is... there's no underlying rationale behind the decision to do so. With Daisy you had a sane idea being processed by an insane mind, resulting in an insane action. With this puppy, it's an insane idea right from the very start. it scares me to think this sort of person not only carries a loaded automatic weapon every day, but will one day be turned loose back on society.

If I had to try to make sense of what he did, it would be as follows. And I'm not trying to make up excuses, just trying to find some reasoning behind an unreasonable act. Every day our soldiers are subjected to an assault on their senses. If I walked down Main Street in Cape Coral and came across blown up building; it'd be a major event for the local news. There would be satellite trucks set up and reporters interviewing local residents, and all kinds of shit. But our soldier walk by these burned out buildings with their walls pock marked with bullet holes every day. If I walk into a restaurant, and a one legged boy hobbles up to me and begs for food, that would be an newsworthy event. The local merchants would team up and take donations, and the police would tape off a city block to hold a benefit concert. But our soldiers are surrounded by wounded kids every day, and for the most part, they're powerless to help them. If I'm pulling into a parking lot and four cops fire a burst of automatic weapons into my engine block before ordering me and my passengers out at gunpoint, not only is that making the news, but I'm motherfucking suing somebody. But this kind of thing happens every day in Iraq.

My point being, every day our soldiers are exposed to so many extraordinary things, that eventually the extraordinary becomes the ordinary. Events that would warrant fifteen people gathered around your cubicle so they could all listen to your story about the roadside explosion on your way to work that morning, just don't even register anymore. That's just a typical Monday morning to them. And let's be honest, from the footsoldier's point of view, there hasn't been any real progress in Iraq. By that I mean the scene never changes. It's not like World War II where in a span of six months a soldier could have fought in North Africa, Sicily, Italy, France then Germany. In Iraq, they see the same streets, the same buildings, the same locals... every day. In fact, they probably see the same places they saw when they were deployed the year before. At some point, that has to take its toll.

Now granted, I'm not a psychologist, I'm just a fat guy trying to sit back and put myself in his shoes. I tried to imagine a reason why a professional solider would tie up an animal and throw it off a cliff. How does a healthy mind process that? What's the reason? He wasn't trying to keep it out of his yard. He had someone film it, so it obviously wasn't a spur of the moment decision. And the only reason I can come up with is... entertainment. That over the past two dozen or so months that he's been patrolling the same streets, driving around the same bomb craters, being shot at the same intersections, he's simply exhausted all other forms of recreation that he can think of. And the extraordinary being ordinary to him, the idea of throwing a puppy off a cliff didn't seem any more out of place than you or I skipping a stone across a pond.

The Marine in question has been identified and the Marines are investigating. Given the amount of public outcry and national media attention, I feel pretty comfortable the matter is going to find a just ending. They take that 'Conduct Unbecoming of a United States Marine' shit pretty seriously.

So that's it. That's the only thing I can think of. That's the only sense that my mind can make of an act of such cruelty. Because the alternative is he's just a sadistic, heartless motherfucker, who himself should to be tied up and thrown off a cliff. And I'm not sure my mind is ready to embrace that idea just yet.

every nerd lusts after kari byron from mythbusters. every guy lusts after a gatling gun. here's kari shooting a gatling gun.

from 300lb chubby fat ass to 120lb ripped milf. i wonder if she gained too much self-esteem to still take it in the backdoor?

red sox vs yankees. boston college vs notre dame. redskins vs cowboys. manchester vs chelsea. and more spic sports rivalries.

March 3, 2008

An EHOWA Garage Sale.

That's right, I'm cleaning out my virtual garage and posting a lot of the stuff I have stockpiled up. And so, in no particular order -- other than alphabetical -- here's a some photos of animal shapes carved into a big ass tree at Disney. And here's some photos of the Top Thrill Dragster rollercoaster at Cedar Point. And here's some pictures of a python who mistook four golfballs for a nest of yummy bird eggs. And here's some pictures taken after a train derailment, during the process of rerailment.

The winner in Bug Battle is Tufrabza who posted over the weekend, and since no other scores even came close... we're moving on. Next up is Trigger Ball -- those of you good at geometry or billiards will do just ducky with this one. Your goal is to bounce your ball off each of the larger target balls, all in one shot. If your ball bounces off the screen (greater than 1000), you lose a life. You have 20 lives to start, but gain some with each sucessful level. Remember you can slider your ball shooter thingie along the path before you shoot. You have to beat my score of 54.

Ernie, What happens in this video is a kid is given an X-box 360, only to open it and discover clothes inside the box. A truly fucked up thing to do to a kid. Enjoy. CP.

Ernie, The Discovery Channel or Animal Planet had a special on dogs a few weeks ago. It was about how human evolution was guided and helped by dogs. It was like 2 hours long. You should check it out if you’ve got the time. Neat stuff. Basically as humans started living in groups and staying put instead of being completely nomadic they started having garbage dumps. Wolves would be attracted to these dumps for the food. Wolves who were more tolerant of humans, or braver, would eat better, because they wouldn’t run away when the humans came to dump another load of trash. Eventually some freak wolves began defending the humans from other predators – the human’s garbage was an easy food source. The rest is history. Other highlights: Food Animals. Some dogs have a natural tendency to herd animals – since before written language – and this enabled humans to keep food animals like sheep and cows, which would normally be prohibitive difficult to manage and protect from predators. Dogs just love round things up and keep ‘em safe. Colonization: It spent a lot of time on several tribes of Eskimo – a people who since *way* back used dogsleds as their exclusive source of locomotion – leading to the spread of humanity into extremely harsh climates. Without dogs, we’d still be in caves eating mammoths. Jim

Not to mention we need dogs to protect us from cats.

LADIES - THIS IS A MUST READ: a blowjob tutorial written by a college callgirl. read up. take notes. practice. please.

jeff healey died of cancer yesterday. he was the blind guitar player in the patrick swayze movie, roadhouse. so long blind guy, we hardly knew ye.

March 1, 2008

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

current challenge is bug battle - current leader is tufrabza with 784,524

shumpy wonders: would this fall under your homeowner's insurance, or your automobile insurance?

eleven quad crashes. some bad luck, some bad riding: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

... more ...


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