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Ernie's House of Whoopass! September 24, 2010
September 24, 2010

And Now For Some Truly Tasteless Material.

Yesterday evening I spoke with a woman named Sean from the Coastal German Shepherd Rescue, and I explained how the EHOWA army would be interested in helping get Phoenix back on the mend. She explained that they didn't have much in the way of an estimate for his care yet, but would get one to me asap. This way we've got something to shoot for, eh? So stay tuned.

Wanting to integrate more with the West, some Muslim communities have relaxed the ultra-strict Islamic dress codes for women. Yes, I know it's in French, but trust me.

Paraskiing is accomplished either by jumping from a plane or starting from a high altitude on the ground (i.e. – from a mountaintop). Once the parachute is deployed, it is used heavily for steering. Paraskiing has been a competition sport for years, and can be scored for such things as speed and slalom accuracy. This is very different from kite-skiing, as gravity is the sole means of propulsion, rather than wind, thermals, or motors. trust me when I say, if you watch one video about paraskiing in your entire life, let this one be it.

Q. How many gay men does it take to put in a light bulb?
A. Just one, but it takes an entire emergency room staff to get it out.

Two pedophiles were sitting on a park bench. A six year old girl comes skipping by. The first pedophiles says, "Christ look at the body on that." To which the other replies "Yeah. I bet she was really something in her day."

Q. How do you get a Jewish girl's number?
A. Pull up her sleeve.

Q. How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Just Juan.

Old and busted: Mexican female sports reporter Ines Sainz. The new hotness: Spanish female sports reporter (and "The Sexiest Reporter in the World" as per FHM magazxine), Sara Carbonero. Erin Andrews who?

Q. How do they measure the performance of gas chambers?
A. Killajews per second.

Q. What's the difference between the World Trade Center and the New York Mets?
A. The Mets collapse every September..

Q. What is the difference between pedophilia and necrophilia?
A. About three minutes.

All Mexican and Black jokes are the same. Once you've heard Juan you've heard Jamal.

Bristol Palin was on Dancing With The Stars last night. And as an example of art imitating life, she couldn't keep her legs closed here either.

Q. What's black on top and white on the bottom?
A. Rape.

I was raping a woman the other night and she cried, "Please, think of my children!" Kinky bitch.

Q. What's the difference between boy scouts and Jews?
A. Boy scouts come back from camp.

Q. Whats white on top and black on bottom?
A. Society.

Operation Knocker Watch: On a beach in Malibu, flashing her white panties in the surf.

Q. Why can’t you fool an aborted baby?
A. Because it wasn’t born yesterday.

Q. What's blue and fucks homeless?
A. Hypothermia.

Q. Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"?
A. Because black people have no rights.

A. What's blue and fucks kids?
A. Me in my lucky blue suit.

Twitter is a wonderful thing, an endless time sink where you can explore the brainfarts of people you know and love. And then, at some point, celebrities started using it. Actually using it, not letting their handlers and PR firms do it. With that, we suddenly began to see the inner workings of their minds. Some were profound and hilarious. Others? Well, lets just say less so. Racism, poor spelling, and questionable medical views abound, as we look over celebrities that we’ve grown to hate, thanks to Twitter.

Q. What's the difference between three dicks and a joke?
A. Your wife can't take a joke.

My favorite sexual position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.

Q. Why don't you ever see black people going on cruises?
A. They're not falling for that one again.

There are two things in life that I hate: racism and niggers.

The age of modern technology has turned so many women woman with a digital camera and a mirror into wannabe glamour models. The interwebs are littered with videos of booty shaking babes in their bedrooms and self shot mirror pics of the good, the bad and the ugly in various states of nakedness and seductive poses.

thirty days through muslim america.

three negative effects drugs have on your body.

twenty-five saddest things seen at adultcon. nsfw?

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