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Ernie's House of Whoopass! October 08, 2010
October 08, 2010

Time Yields For No Man. Rust Yields For No Door.

Well, all the body work that I had done on Big Red two years ago seems to be slowly rusting back to its former nonglory. Which is exactly what the guy told me was going to happen if I didn't let him replace the door skins, which I didn't. Why? because they're my door skins. The right one was dinged from when Jennifer Scott opened the door too fast and slammed it into the side view mirror of the adjascent car. The left one has "WASH ME" scratches from when Flaherty thought he's get cute and finger paint me a message into some dried mud, and that's the very door that I've slammed a hundred times when I was pissed off. And to anyone who suggests I have new doors put on, be forewarned, I won't tolerate you talking about my bitch like that. I don't want anyone else's fuckin doors, I want mine. As for going out and buying a new truck? Well, the Laramie edition that I ordered way back on 24 Oct 1994, maxed out at $21,840. The same truck now starts at $28,400 before you add on some goodies, and next year Dodge is due to release a Laramie Longhorn edition that's all tricked out -- that's probably going to be in the $40k range. So for now, me thinks the best idea is for me to just leave little spots of rust all around Cape Coral, even time I shut my door hard. But looking at that old invoice does kind of bring a tear to my eye. And I wonder who at Hanscom has my extension now.

Of all the celebrities out there, Johnny Depp has always struck me as a class act, so it was good to hear that he continued that trend just recently. Good for you, Johnny. Even if you do live in France.

Ernie, a great reason to watch Stargate Universe - Speaks for itself really. Julia Benson plays Lt Vanessa James. - Adam

Good news. ASU freshman student Elizabeth Hawkenson won't lose her $32,000 scholarship because she did a porn video. So now she gets to keep the $32k tuition and the $2k she was paid for taking a headshot like JFK. The extremely NSFW video can be seen here.

I’m sure you’ve seen this but in case you haven’t, this is the reason for the “I’m not a witch” campaign. Bob

I will admit one thing. For some reason that I can't exactly put my finger on, I think O'Donnell was kind of hot. All that pent up frustration from not flicking her bean. And yet she is so, so batshit crazy. And yet so hot. Mmmm, crazy.

First their was Blacksploitation. Next their was Mexploitation. Surely yhe next logical step in this evolution is Nunpploitation, right? Wait, what. Nude Nuns With Big Guns is described as, "Upon taking her vows to become a nun, Sister Sarah is abused, brainwashed and drugged into submission by the corrupt clergy. On the verge of death from a lethal dose of drugs, Sister Sarah receives a message from GOD telling her to take vengeance on all those who did her wrong. Armed with God's will and an arsenal of big guns, she dispenses Judgment Day on her former tormentors. This sister is one bad mother." Which brings me to the question, since they obviously can't have too many actors willing to star in these B-rated... no wait... C-rated flicks, how the fuck do I get in on this action?

Ernie, Love your site sir. I have been coming here for years. I visit everyday. I reason I am writing is I wrote a blog about my double lung transplant. If your bored and want to read it, here is the link. Chapter nine is the best. Thanks Ernie for all you do. Thanks for helping out our military. As a vet I appreciate all you do. Yankees Sucks! Ken, Louisville KY

Old and busted: the Neiman Marcus cookie recipe. Which like most chain letters by the way, was a hoax. The new hotness: the Neiman Marcus Chevy Camaro. Not kidding.

so what ever happened to marla sokoloff?

jenny mccarthy talks about her extreme horniness. sfw.

scuba diving in bali, computer generated imagery, and shirley muldowney.

doom + aliens x underground facility = the dark lurking.

walking dead. walking dead. walking dead.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Yeah I Gotchu Fam Weeken...

So Where The Fuck Did EHOWA Go?...

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Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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