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Ernie's House of Whoopass! October 26, 2010
October 26, 2010

Is it Wrong To Just Assume She'll Give me Oral Sex?

We both lie silently still, in the dead of the night. Although we both lie close together, we feel miles apart inside. Was it something I said or something I did, did my words not come out right? Though I tried not to hurt you, though I tried, but I guess that’s why they say every rose has it’s thorn. With another Mass accent, no less.

This is a picture of a man selling cotton candy on the beach. He's on the right, in case you're having difficulty spotting him.

Putting things into perspective: I've only seen wind turbines on television so this video of the individual pieces being transported on a freight train really shows just how goddamn big these things are. Each individual blade is the length of two fucking railcars, which would make it quite difficult to transport by truck. Something else to bring into perspective? Fidel Castro used to be a lawyer. Huh.

In regards to your spinning bullet quandary, I can vouch for its authenticity. I was personally there when this one of these videos was filmed, perhaps the exact one that you posted a link to on your site. There were a few takes of it due to the camera being used, and it was spread over a couple of days so I'm not positive if I was at that particular one. The guy doing the shooting is a guy by the name of Jason Nesbit, actually works for the police department in our town. I think he actually signed some release papers as of late so that the mythbusters could use that video in an upcoming episode. The spinning bullet doesn't always work, but we were usually able to get a round or two from each mag to do it. I promise you, it's legit. I can hook ya up with contact info if you'd like. Keep on kicking ass! Nate

I googled ["Jason Nesbit" and mythbusters] and got dick shit, so if it turns out you're bullshitting me I'll send these people to your house for Easter.

Maria Sharapova is one of the most beautiful women in the world. Sadly, like many who share that title, she is now off the market thanks to someone well below her level of attractiveness. Enter The Machine. Sasha Vujacic and Sharapova announced their engagement Thursday, and the lucky Laker keeps getting richer. He's piggybacked off Kobe Bryant for two NBA title rings, and likely plans to etch his name onto the U.S. Open trophy if his fiancee wins it. He may want to give up that dream. Regardless, the union of these two athletes is one of the strangest in the sporting world. But is it the weirdest couple of all time?

Seriously, all bullshitting aside? These are the best Star Wars themed pumpkins, EVER.

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