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Ernie's House of Whoopass! October 29, 2010
October 29, 2010

So There's a Red Sox Costume, And What's The Other One?

I have a question. Why is it that when you go to bed on an empty stomach, you wake up fine. But if you eat something before you go to bed, you wake up hungry. Shouldn't it be the other way around? Anyway, I made the mistake of eating something before bed last night, and woke to hunger pangs around 4am this morning. Not being able to fall back asleep, a very weird thought popped into my head: the Hensel Twins. No, not like that, you sick fuck. Although they are 20 years old now, so hey. But getting back on track, and with Halloween happening in a couple days, I wondered: what do they dress up as for Halloween? I would imagine that at least once, one of them went blackface and they dressed as 1972's The Thing With Two heads. But at some point that gets old, right? So. Indy and Shortround? Batman and Robin? Or maybe Batman and Joker? Or Han and Chewie? Bugs and Daffy? See, it's kind of fucked up, right? The costumed would have to tie together, either way. And here's another fucked up thought? Let's say the girls show up to a Halloween party and someone has dressed up as the Hansel Twins? Awkward? Maybe too tasteless?

I had to kennel Ike for this trip, which is something I was NOT happy about. The woman that was supposed to watch him, never called us back so he ended up going in last minute with Bianca. He has NEVER been in the kennel before, has never been to the vet overnight, and the last time he was in any kennel-type setting, was when he was abandoned at the shelter where I adopted him. So I hope he doesn't have any flashbacks and think I'm bailing on him. Regardless, somebody I know is on my shit list.

We all know that kids can and will ask questions that you simply don’t want to answer. You’ve got to say something, because they won’t stop asking it until you do. The thing is, the straight and truthful answers to some of these questions aren’t exactly the sort of thing you tell a child, and often lead to even more questions if you aren’t careful. Here are twelve answers of the most common, most awkward questions that your kid may ask someday. After all, the kid’s going to learn the stuff one way or another.

Hailstorm in Georgia on 10-25. Please, NOT in my backyard!!! Jack PS you ever get to this side of Fla we could go to lunch at Ernie's in Ft Lauderdale.

Out of all the movie genres, horror allows the freest rein when it comes to seriously weird crap; it's difficult to imagine The Human Centipede as, say, a romantic comedy. But chances are the horror movies you've seen are actually firmly at the sane end of the spectrum. Especially when compared to...

Hey Ernie, I got linked to this on youtube today, thought you might enjoy it. And they have a zombie hunt at a park near me where you can shoot zombies with paintball guns. Regards, Ian

Many critics of horror have compared the genre to pornography, because they claim that the plots of the film come secondary to the grotesque murder scenes which serve as the film's "money shots." This cannot be further from the truth, as many horror films serve as intelligent social commentaries on the fears and flaws of the time in which they are made. That being said, some are just excuses to show horny teenagers getting gutted. Here are some of the best scenes from both kinds.

ten hilarious amazon reviews.

see kids, this is why you pay attention in science class.

you are hereby forced to make some absolutely terrible choices.

jessica biel and eva mendes absolutely rock black and white cocktail dresses.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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