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Ernie's House of Whoopass! November 03, 2010
November 03, 2010

There's Getting Called Out, And Then There's This.

George Takei's hilarious awesome response to anti-gay bully Clint McCance, former Arkansas school board member who called for more gays teens to kill themselves. Yes, you know your life has taken a turn for the worst when Mr Sulu publicly calls you a douchebag. George later went on to say, "What now? Let me tell you what now. I'ma call a coupla hard, pipe-hittin' niggas, who'll go to work on the homes here with a pair of pliers and a blow torch. You hear me talkin', hillbilly boy? I ain't through with you by a damn sight. I'ma get warp factor three on your ass."

Yes, sometimes we take for granted what an enlightened age we live in. No matter where you go in America nowadays – no matter what you do or where you do it – there are hot babes. And an arena as serious as the news is no exception. Every network now uses the awesome power of the female to keep people interested in what would otherwise be a depressing hour long program of war and murder and politics and other boring stuff like that. We’ve never had it so good, so in celebration of this fact I bring you the top ten anchorwomen I secretly want to bone. And by "secretly" I mean I just told you I want to bone them.

Old and busted: invisible bikes and invisible sandwiches. The new hotness -- no pun intended -- is invisible fire. You see when Rick Mears pitted on lap 58 (1981 Indianapolis 500), fuel began to gush from the refueling hose before it had been connected to the car. Fuel sprayed over the car, Mears and his mechanics, then ignited when it contacted the engine. Methanol burns with a transparent flame and no smoke, and panic gripped the pit as crew members and spectators fled from the invisible fire. Mears, on fire from the waist up, jumped out of his car and ran to the pit wall, where a safety worker, not seeing the fire, tried to remove Mears' helmet. Meanwhile, Mears' fueler, covered in burning fuel, waved his arms frantically to attract the attention of the fire crews already converging on the scene. By this time the safety worker attending to Mears had fled, and Mears, in near panic at being unable to breathe, leaped over the pit wall toward another crewman carrying a fire extinguisher, who dropped the extinguisher and also fled. Mears tried to turn the extinguisher on himself, but at this point his father, Bill Mears, having already pulled Rick's wife Deena to safety, grabbed the extinguisher and put out the fire. His mechanics had also been extinguished, and the pit fire crew arrived to thoroughly douse Mears' car. Thanks to quick action by safety workers and the fact that methanol burns at a much lower temperature than gasoline, no one was seriously hurt in the incident. Mears and four of his mechanics were sent to hospital, and Mears underwent plastic surgery on his face, particularly on his nose. The incident prompted a redesign to the fuel nozzle used on Indycars, adding a safety valve that would only open when the nozzle was connected to the car.

noticed u havent updated in a few days. heres some pics for ya. first is ex girlfr meghan on way to the delta. then cela with her pasties on the delta. then 21 yr old may may on delta with her nice funbags. tammy flashin for patties day at the bar. and bartender judy with her killer blue eyes and mowhawk. enjoy, craig

I saw a Muslim fall into the icy river this morning about 8:20. As a responsible citizen, I informed the local office of emergency services. It's now 6:00 PM and they still haven't responded! I'm starting to think I've wasted a stamp. Greg

Why Justin Timberlake should be President For Life of the Entire Universe: Us magazine is reporting that he cheated on his girlfriend Jessica Biel (who is super hot) with none other than every geek’s wet dream Olivia Munn (who is super duper hot). And Jess, if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, let me know.

You know those movie scenes where a person closes the bathroom medicine cabinet and in the mirror's reflection you see someone standing over their shoulder? Yeah here's a four minute video compilation of those scenes.

Hey Ernie, Thanks for stifling the boredom of work on such a regular basis. I came across this and thought you might be able to use it. I know you're more into train wrecks than ship wrecks, but I'm pretty sure you posted pics of this particular ship when it first capsized. It's pretty long, but it's a good read and would probably make a damn good movie. Tom

In the past seventy-two hours, the Washington Redskins’ quarterback situation has gone from interesting, to absurd, to downright fucking ludicrous.

And you thought Denise Miliani was the Czech Republic's most famous export! Petra Nemcova is a super model who has survived the Communist occupation of Czechoslovakia and during the Indian Ocean earthquake of 26 December 2004, N?mcová was at the Khao Lak resort in Thailand with her main photographer and boyfriend, Simon Atlee, when the tsunami struck where they were staying. Initially, Atlee was presumed missing, but his body was found and identified on 3 March 2005, on the shores of Sumatra. Atlee drowned, and N?mcová suffered a broken pelvis and serious internal injuries, but she managed to hold onto the top of a palm tree, reportedly for eight hours, until she was rescued by Thai civilians and airlifted to an inland hospital nearby. N?mcová spent three weeks in a Thai hospital, and then flew home to the Czech Republic, where she spent an additional three weeks in the hospital. Born June 24th, 1979, she has created an international charity, The Happy Hearts Fund, which has remarkably gotten all contributions underwritten so all administrative costs are covered, and the charitable donations go straight to the victims it was created to benefit. While some dummies stand up at beauty contests and recite the scripted line about wanting to save children and help the world, this beauty is no dummy, and she does save children and benefit the world.

dude you are not helping the stereotype.

alabama vs. lsu football: cheerleader showdown of the week.

72 pictures of girls groping girls. don'y blow yourself up, they're probably not virgins.

carmen electra on halloween, photos of pornstars in their halloween outfits, and jessica biel spread.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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