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Ernie's House of Whoopass! November 04, 2010
November 04, 2010

That's Poor Trigger Discipline, Sweetheart.

Good news: I mailed my CCW permit renewal in six weeks early! Bad news: It taked eight weeks to process. My bad.

Anyway, the local Fox News affiliate just ran this piece on the amount of CCW permits issued here in Flo-Rida. Apparently we lead the state with 1 ou of ever 22 people licensed. Take that Texas! Anyway, how do they intro the story? "Southwest Florida might be the safest place every, since many of your armed neighbors can come to your aid?" No. How about, "Criminals beware, over one out of every twenty Southwest Florida residents is excerising their Second Ammendment rights." No. They start off with -- and I'm not shitting you, "Guns Gone Wild." Seriously. Those are the first three fucking words out of the news anchor's mouth. As if the first thing I did when I got my permit was go buy a fucking cowboy hat and drive around in my pickup truck, shooting up into the air in between cries of "Yeeeeeee-hawwwwww!" And this is Fox Fucking News mind you, which is the last news outlet I'd ever expect this from. The other left-leaners sure, but not Fox News. And that Josh Hackman guy is the instructor who gave me my class, too.

But I will concede this -- and this is a point I've said before -- getting my CCW permit was a little too easy. I would like to see the class expanded to include how to disassemble/reassemble a handgun, how to clear a jam or failure to feed, and of course how to safely clean the damned thing. And not that you have to qualify for the U.S. Army Marksmanship Unit, but yes I do think that you should have to demonstate some rudimentary marksmanship skills before carrying your piece out in public.

The time: April 11, 1966. The place: Viet-fuckin'-nam. The plan: James Robinson and 133 other men of Charlie Company to lure out a Vietcong battalion of 400-plus men. The result was the Battle of Xa Cam My, where the plan went catastrophically wrong for Charlie Company. They were pounded by both their own artillery and the surrounding enemy forces, with no reinforcements on the horizon. Robinson, being generally just kind of awesome, ran around the battlefield killing snipers with a grenade launcher, rescuing wounded medics and soldiers (while suffering multiple gunshot wounds of his own), and distributing the dwindling supplies of water and ammunition. Then an enemy machine gun opened fire into the American defensive circle, causing heavy casualties. Despite his wounds and complete lack of ammunition, Robinson made a beeline for the Vietnamese machine-gunner with a grenade in each hand. Most of these stories involve an insane, lone charge against overwhelming odds and in spite of grievous, life-threatening wounds. And in that respect, Robinson's tale is no different, save for one key element: During his one-man suicide charge, Robinson was set on fucking fire.

Loved the Routan I saw at Target tonight. Tim

Ahhh, Herbie the Love Bug. That certainly brings back memories of the Thorndike special, also known as an Apollo GT. The remake from 2005 looked pretty stupid, but I'm sure it had its high points, too.

If I were to ask you who were the hottest women in the world related to the sports industry, I would guess that the majority of responses would include cheerleaders. If I were to then add to that question and ask which league has the hottest cheerleaders, I bet all the money in my wallet most people will say the NFL. Well, that was before I began studying the beautiful women of the NBA. There are plenty of sexy cheerleaders that wear almost nothing running around cheering for their team in every NBA city. Dibs on the Atlanta Hawks' girls.

It is very important that you are able to identify the different types of labs that are located here in Missouri. You may find the illustrations helpful. Be careful out there. Bob

Do you have diabetes? Are you doing everything you can to keep it in check? I hope so. because in many developed countries, diabetes is the major cause of limb amputation. In the US, the risk of losing a foot or leg is 15-40 times higher for diabetics. And 80,000 lower limb amputations are performed in the US according to International Diabetes Federation. Diabetes leads to poor circulation which in turn leads to infection and gangrene. Keep this in mind the next time you're reaching for that donut.

Nikki has a lot in common with the ghost chili she's been tricked into eating. They're both pretty hot but after a while you kind of want them to go away. Sweet set of tits, though.

Ernie, did I send this to you before? if so I apologize, I just saw it again when browsing some of my old photos. Its a (I assume plastic) cow on top of the cabaret sign. Truth in advertising? This was in or near Payson, AZ, I took the pic in July of 06 because it amused me, maybe you can use it for something. Jason

While General Motors isn't doing too well -- Cadillac in particular -- other American cars seem to be making a comeback? well, Ford's certainly are, as the 2011 new Lincoln MKS looks sweeeeeet.

Dan Neil won the 2004 Pulitzer Prize for Criticism for his writing about cars. Earlier this year he left The Los Angeles Times for The Wall Street Journal and wrote the following departure email, which was then posted online. I will identify six techniques in Dan Neil's email that can be incorporated into any departure letter and compare and contrast his execution of those techniques with that of a law firm partner. In other words, let's take a look and see what you can copy.

you know your product sucks when there is an entire wikipedia article dedicated to its criticism.

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babymamas fight, 2 huge bitches jump in, a pantsless challenger appears and a rhino charges.

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