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Ernie's House of Whoopass! November 09, 2010
November 09, 2010

Oh Look, He's Axing Him A Question.

Well I'm a day late but I finally got the chance to watch the second episode of Walking Dead. Generally I liked it, although I'm kind of disappointed in some parts. Listen, I don't care how much I want some stink finger, ain't no way I'm traisping around the fucking woods full of zombies looking to hook up with my girlfriend. Zombies that don't run (good) but some zombies that Shame-With-A-Definite-Purpose? Yeah, I guess I can deal with that. But zombies that can't climb a fire escape (good), yet you have zombies that can climb a fence? I've got to veto that one, even if that was only put in so they could find the truck keys on the first try. Rubbing yourself with zombie guts to blend in? The jury is still out on that one, because first you have to buy zombies that have a sense of smell? In order to smell, one must breathe. And since zombies be dead, they don't be breathin. And a rain storm washing off enough of said zombie guts to make you smell human again? Uh, that'd be a no fucking way, but I suppose you had to add suspense somehow, right? Now zombies using a rock to bash in a glass door? Yeah, I guess I can handle that too. These zombies to be a little more cerebral than the traditional Romero zombie, but I can still work with it. Besides, even Romero allowed for some sort of zombie evolution when he stuck a Steyr AUG in Big Daddy's hands in Land of the Dead. A move which I didn't really agree with, by the way but hell it ain't my movie. But bashing shit with a rock, yeah, I guess that's pretty plausible. As for the obvious product placement with the Dodge Challenger? Hey, they've got to pay the bills somehow. And as for the handcuffed redneck on the roof? Two words: Bullet and Gravity. But since MIchael Rooker been officially added to the cast, I don't think he's going to get eaten next week so I guess we'll be seeing more him in later episodes. And don't forget, Rick is still carrying that hand grenade in his pants. And I don't mean that metaphorically.

Oh and speaking of zombie guts, this fat girl fell down an elevator shaft. Gore warning.

Who is Emma Frain? I dunno either, but she likes to play the Wii while topless. NSFW.

One of my favorite WWII flicks is 2001's Enemy At The Gates, and I always wondered about the opening scenes, where all the Russian solders were forced into a suicide mission to rush into the waiting German gunfire. I mean was that just how the Russian did things, or were these some particularly unlucky bastards? Turns out that in 1942, Joseph Stalin established Order 227 to make it clear that no commander or soldier fighting in the war had the authority to retreat in battle. And anyone who defied the order would be eligible to serve in something called "penal battalions." These separate units of convicts and rejects were intentionally sent to do the shittiest and most suicidal jobs in the war. They were to be sacrificed so as not to risk "real" soldiers. Thus, penal battalions were composed of gulag labor camp inmates, disgraced soldiers accused of cowardice and liberated POWs. You read that right ... their own POWs were punished for their stupidity of getting caught by having to serve in penal battalions, and that's if they weren't executed on the spot after liberation. So why not just run away? Because backing them up were barrier troops who were there for no other reason than to kill soldiers who tried to retreat. So, yeah, you'd definitely hate to be one of the unlucky few who served in the -- wait, what's that? Over 400,000 troops had to serve in the penal units? And yes, I tried to find the actual suicide rush scene from Gates but no luck.

Ernie, have you heard about this one yet? New movie called Unstoppable about a runaway train. It's going to be the fuckin tits! Damon

Yeah I knew this was coming and even though I know I'm probably going to vomit over how unrealistic it's going to be, I'm still looking forward to it like a kid who just got a new Tonka truck for Christmas. But I did fire this question off to my three readers who work for railroads: "Unstoppable is due out in a little over a week. As a railroad employee... looking forward to it, or dreading the potential corniness like a Navy guy forced to watch Top Gun?" This was the best reply:

Definately dreading it, but my wife wants to see it and I like to have sex so I'll probably have to watch it. I think the movie is based on the CSX Crazy 8's incident. Cory.

Here are some photos of the Crazy 8888 locomotive that Cory was talking about. Yeah, railroading is risky business. Risky but safer than you think: performing loops in your jetpack. Risky but more dangerous than you think: performing loops in your hang glider. But believe it or not, both of those are safer than flying a kite.

Any woman that is beautiful, tall and from Australia gets a few extra points on the hot meter. Good news for Lauren Jackson who stands 6'5" and was born in Albury, New South Wales, Australia. All she needs now is to be beautiful and I am pretty sure she got that memo, seeing how she is one of the ten hottest athletes ever to pose for Playboy.

Question: Why does stretching feel so good, especially when you've just woken up? Answer: There are several reasons why this happens, and they are all interconnected. Firstly is circulation. Blood flow is not just caused by the heart. Although arteries pulse with the heartbeat, veins work by being squeezed by the muscle around them. When you stretch, you tense all of your muscles, which squeezed all the spent blood back to the heart and lungs, and replaces it with oxygenated blood. When all the muscles tense in a stretch, the heart will increase its output, increasing bloodflow around the body, including the brain. This saturates the brain with oxygenated blood. When you stretch, you expand the chest cavity, increasing the capacity of the lungs. This increases the amount of oxygen getting into the blood. Therefore the blood getting around your body is richer for those few moments.

looking 4 larry presents "the way of cung le".

too bad prop 19 failed. these would be the commercials if pot were legal.

behold the legendary double glock - i always carry it with me, so nobody can 'git me.

sara jean underwood shows her new money makers and the hottest college freshman soccer girls.

the presidential state car, lockheed u-2, and the 1958 lituya bay megatsunami.

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