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Ernie's House of Whoopass! November 12, 2010
November 12, 2010

Why Thank You, Thank You Very Much.

You know, I hadn't planned on it, but I ended up getting a free lunch at Applebees yesterday, for Veteran's Day. I took my Hammer in for its 2,500 mile service and rather than wait around and stare at golf carts and motorcycle tires for the next two hours, I decided to venture down the plaza a bit and stumbled upon an Applebees. Which was fucking packed, I might add. But sure as hell I walked in and found a vacant seat at the bar and before I knew what hit me, I had a beer and a bacon cheeseburger sitting in front of me. I quite enjoyed myself, even if the man pansie next to me had to send his Sam Adams Oktoberfest back because it, "tasted too strong." Thanks guys!

Is it me, or does this angry dude sound like Rowdy Roddy Piper?

Old and busted: The Old Spice Guy. The new hotness -- and I do mean hotness: the Sun's Page 3 girl. Safe for work, presuming you work in the UK and you've previously been invited to a UK supermodel agency's summer party.

Ernie, I've been a long time reader of site, even while I was deployed in 08, and had to use a proxy. I thought that you would find this a little bit amusing: My first negligent discharge. I've been a firearms enthusiast and collector for years, but I got lazy to day and fucked up. Fortunately, no one was hurt other than my LCD monitor. I've attached pics. Surprisingly, it wasn't as loud as I'd anticipated. My ears only rang for a minute or two. I was a bit gratified that it didn't go through to the wall behind, because I had chosen a .380 specifically because I was concerned about over-penetration. Keep the great site going! -Evan

Hmmm, I wonder which is easier... two drunk guys making pizza or two drunk girls changing a tire. And the latter has the bonus of sexy.... German accents I think? I mean they're no Sue Bob White, but still.

Here is model/actress Rosie Huntington-Whiteley backstage before the 2010 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show at the Lexington Avenue ArmoryNew York City.

Hey Ernie, You asked about Olivia Wilde in a previous post. She is making "Tron: Legacy" right now (which is in post-production according to IMDb) and should be back filming House very soon, which translates into Spring episodes for you and me. Take Care, Tybois

"Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome." - Arthur Ashe. That is of course, unless each step has you repeatedly faceplanting in front of an entire crowd of people. Then maybe it's time to think about the couch.

There are as many different types of boobs as there are shapes of women, and let’s face it — some shapes are quite a bit nicer than others. While it’s true that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, when it comes to cleavage there are just some lines that must be drawn when a woman steps in front of a camera; it’s a harsh reality of life after all. Without further ado, these are the worst kinds of boobs — although I see absolutely nothing wrong with the perpetual nipples.

u.s. postal worker verbally and physically abused by racist whore.

did you know it takes on average about two bowel movements to equal a can of soda?

rachel weisz and darren aronofsky split because of james bond

vietnam war bracelets come full circle.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

So Long, Lieutenant George Herbert Walker Bus...

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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