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Ernie's House of Whoopass! November 17, 2010
November 17, 2010

So I've Got A Pretty Simple Solution To This TSA Pat-Down Problem.

Getting ready to head to the airport? Better run through that final checklist. Turned off the coffee pot? Check. Pack an extra pair of underwear? Check. Make sure the garage door is locked? Check. Itinerary? Check. Flight information? Check. Photo identification? Check. Removed all of the prohibited items in your carry-on? Check. Now it's time to get ready for your TSA pat down. Pop a viagra. Wait, what? Yeah, I'm serious. The next time you're headed to the airport, pop a goddamn viagra. Then when you opt out of the full body scan and are forced to andure a full groin pat down like a common fucking criminal, really give that TSA agent something big to grab on to. How big? About as big as the Chrysler building, hopefully. Bonus points if he has to wash his hands afterwards. Christ, I can't wait for the lawsuits to start.

Speaking of which, this is Boeing's complete lineup of civilian airliners: the 777, 767, 757, 747, 737, 727, 717, and 707. Neat eh?

After several requests, here's a Kate Beckinsale Hot 100 gallery. A mixture of candids, official promo pics, magazine spreads and even more candids. They even found a couple of bikini photos for fans of the English actress.

Ernie... LOVE the site, enter butt kissing line here, here are some pics of the re-pave of Daytona Speedway i found interesting. Keep on trukin, Tim . p.s. miss the nova

Ahhh, Earl. Don't worry, he's in good hands and resting comfortably. As for NASCAR, while I'm not a big fan, those were some prety cool pictutes. It gives you a goos sense of just how high the bank is on those curves. Too bad the guys running the asphalt machine wasn't brave enough a couple of drinks and to paint a number "3" on the side. Why? I'll tell you why. because Curtis got slapped by a white teacher, that's why.

Well, the first trailer for Green Lantern has been released. And uh, I dunno man. Some cheesy F-35 footage and Ryan Reynolds carrying on a conversation with a CGI'd dying alien, who quite frankly looks like shit? At this point I remain decidedly undecided. Honestly? I'm a little more excited about Cars 2. Does that make me lame?

once again, i gotta ask, why do zombies eat? kill., yeah, but why consume? and does it have to be alive? if it has to be alive, why was the zom eating the shot deer? if it can be dead, lotsa bodies around.remember the fly ridden corpse in ep. 1? how do zombies shit? do they take their pants down? no? whew! oughta be able to detect a zombie from a distance,even at night. they can climb stairs now, too. tommy

This is perhaps best explained by Dr Logan from the 1985 Romero flick, Day of the Dead. I tried to find footage of the labrotory scene where he has a zombie laying dissected on the table, and despite having all of its digestive tract removed, Logan observes, "It wants me! It wants food! But it has no stomach, can take no nourishment from what it ingests. It's acting on INSTINCT!" Here's the full script, or if you prefer just some highlighted quotes. Now as to zombies shitting? Dude, that raises a pretty interesting question. I must admit that in all my years of zombying, I have never once given that any thought. Interesting. I guess I'll do some shots and think about it. But watch that Day of the Dead trailer again, and you'll see that not only was it filmed in front of the Edison Theatre in Ft Myers, but I stood right there during Zombiecon.

When someone calls a film a "feelgood movie" that usually means it’s trite, boring, saccharine, cliché, or any combination thereof. Suitable for churchgoers, all-age events, and your Aunt Sally who has all the kitten photos. That said, there’s a collection of films out there that legitimately do make you “feel good”, and do so without losing their intelligence or humor. Princess Bride for the win!

This is money. “Entourage” is a huge hit with the BE staff, and the show has the best cheesesake ratio of any show on TV (new servings each week!), but in this clip made to promote the show’s syndication debut on Spike TV, the women strike back, lampooning how they worked tirelessly to land a job as an actress in Hollywood, only to be offered the role of stripper, hooker, escort or groupie. And worse, they have to blow Drama or Turtle? They don’t even get to maintain their dignity by being able to tell their friends that they got to do Vince? These women have our sympathy, and if they ever feel like crying on our shoulders, they’re welcome to stop by any time. Best line to the camera: “Sorry, Mom and Dad!” Oh, and did I mention Gary Busey? Everything’s better with Gary Busey.

And just for the record? While I'll admit the newer forms of entertainment don't quite have the same charm as the older 50's era movies, but Audrey Hepburn never, ever ... ever, ever, ever, ever... looked like this.

how to buy a used gun.

the demystification of purple drank.

the best cheerleader pics of nfl week ten.

drink during the reception, not before the reception.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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