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Ernie's House of Whoopass! November 24, 2010
November 24, 2010

Say NO. And then GO To A Safe Place. And Then TELL An Adult.

Q. How many terrorists will it take to destroy America?
A. None, TSA can do it all by themselves.

More TSA crap: Adam Savage from Mythbusters walked though TSA's enhanced security measures carrying two 12-inch razors. My TSA Horror Story is a collection of stories from people who have survived being groped or scanned by the TSA, submitted by you. TSA officer suspected of kidnapping and assault. The official Don't Touch My Junk tshirt. TSA's nude scanners, former homeland security head Chertoff, and how our government works. On November 21, 2010, [thisguy] was allowed to enter the U.S. through an airport security checkpoint without being x-rayed or touched by a TSA officer. This post explains how. This female sex worker went through her TSA patdown while wearing see through lingerie, while this guy just decided to strip down to his underwear. Before the Junk Jokes: Airport Security Cartoons. "We have to search up your thighs and between your legs until we meet resistance," he explained. "Resistance?" I asked. "Your testicles," he explained. 'That's funny," I said, "because 'The Resistance' is the actual name I've given to my testicles." Body scanner makers doubled lobbying cash over the last five years. "She then felt around my waist. She then moved to the bottoms of my legs. She then felt my inner thighs and my vagina area, touching both of my labia." While I generally find Rush Limbaugh to be a raging douchebag, I have to give him the nod of approval on this . Annnnnnd finally, TSA Enhanced Pat Downs : The Screeners Point Of View. You're welcome.

Q. What's the difference between a gay and a dead horse?
A. It's no fun beating a dead horse. [But evidently it's fun to fuck one. The horse that is, not the gay guy.]

Hey Ernie, not sure if you have seen this, but it is Gene Simmons and the rest of Kiss with no makeup doing a military tribute in Iraq. It sounds pretty dumb, I know, but it is actually pretty cool. Regards from the frozen tundra of Minnesota. BJ.

Hey, Ernie, Here’s Funny Or Die’s new video starring Kelly Brook, as she presents a new line of cameltoe-enhancing inserts. Camel Shows: “Show ‘em your toes!” Thanks for your time! - Greg, Marketing Manager, Funny Or Die

Ernie, Love the site, don't get a chance to contribute much but I took this pic the other day and thought you could use it. It was in the window of a local party store, The EBT card is a debit style card for food stamps. not sure which is worse the owners spelling or the customers understanding it? Have a great day! P.S. was able to contribute to LBHE this year!! Keep up the good work!! Bob

A Mexican accused of theft was appearing before the Judge. "Your Honor," his lawyer said, "I feel it is very unfair for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in this city only a few days ago and barely knows his way around. What's more, he is only able to speak a few words of English." The Judge looked sternly at the defendant and asked, "How much English do you speak?" The defendant looked up and replied, "Give me your wallet!"

Maverick: Tower, this is Ghost Rider requesting a flyby.
Air Boss Johnson: That's a negative, Ghost Rider, the pattern is full.

And for no reason whatsoever, here are a bunch of bat cocks.

forty-five pictures from inside a nuclear missile silo.

graphic: anatomy of a stoning.

this is what taylor swift looks like with straight hair.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite So My Dad Is Visiting Fo...

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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