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My Thoughts On Julian Assange And Wikileaks.

To me, Wikileaks is a series of grey areas; nothing is really a clear cut black and white. On one hand I find it difficult to condone any entity that's passing out classified US documents. On the other hand, I'm reluctant to label them a terrorist organization simply for exposing the truth on some matters. For the last ten years or so -- ever since the Patriot Act was enacted into law -- our federal government has been spying on us to some degree. In fact when I sold Earl back in 2008, one of the things Tim-Not-Timmy said to me was that he found it offensive that he couldn't take more than $5,000 cash out of his account without Uncle Sam being notified about it. Our emails get intercepted, our phone calls get tapped, and don't even fucking get me started on TSA. But all the while, we're told, "if you're not doing anything wrong, you have nothing to worry about." And while I think it was a necessary evil in the months and even a few years following 9/11, I think it's more than worn out its welcome. I'm not suggesting that G-men in trench coats lurk around every corner, but let's be honest, we have no real choice in the matter. Because your only real alternative to letting Uncle Sam sneak a peek into your life, is to drop off the grid and live out in some shack next to the Unabomber. That obviously won't work for me, as I enjoy having Five Guys in my mouth whenever possible.

So now that Wikileaks is revealing all of this embarrassing stuff about Uncle Sam, I can't help to find it a little entertaining. As if Assange is saying to the federal government, "like you said, if you're not doing anything wrong, you have nothing to worry about." Yet somehow I feel this shoe isn't going to fit on the other foot, no matter how hard it's forced. But here are some interesting points that have caught my attention throughout this fiasco.

For starters, I was absolutely fucking shocked that Interpol red-flagged Julian and went after him with such gusto. Not because I was worried he was being singled out -- which he is -- but because why the fuck don't they go after all their red flagged fugitives like that? Shit man, Roman Polanski has been on their hot list for over ten years, and he diddled a little girl. Obviously there are more, quite similar to the FBI's 10 Most Wanted. So why Assange? Why single him out? So if you don't think there's some political manipulation going on behind the scenes in that regard, you're a fucking idiot. In this regard, I think Assange is getting railroaded. Want to grab him up for disseminating classified information, go at it and let him have his day in court. But a guy gets accused of rape -- excuse me, having consensual sex without a condom -- and you freeze his bank accounts? C'mon man, something is hinky.

As for Amazon and Paypal distancing themselves from Assange and Wikileaks? Well, I can't blame them. Honestly, Amazon came up with what is probably the most honest answer for their booting Wikileaks from their servers. As for Paypal, of course they're going to cut off his account; they're a US based company and I'm sure the Feds can clip their nuts quite quickly if they wanted to. So Paypal is supposed to let their multi-billion dollar business go down the tubes to protect Assange and thumb their nose at Uncle Sam? Hardly. It may not be the most honorable thing to do, but I suppose its the only play Paypal has that doesn't send them down Epassporte Boulevard.

Now the soldier that leaked all the documents, Bradley Manning? Treason. Trial. Conviction. Execution. End of story. And that's the same as anyone leaks classified documents. Why the double standard? Simple. Soldiers are supposed to protect classified information. Journalists are supposed to leak it. That's what they do, man.

So I support Wikileaks releasing cables that embarrass the United States? Yes. I'm not happy about it, because I don't want to see my country made to look stupid. But I think the right to Free Speech is more important than any one person (or country's) ego. Now. Do I support Wikileaks releasing cables that put American lives, or the lives of our allies, in danger? No I do not. If they do, fine shut down their servers, grab Assange and kick his ass. But nothing they've done so far approaches that level of reckless behavior (yet). A list of locations that the US deems vital to its security? Such as the Panama Canal and the Hoover Dam? Well uh, not to be Inspector Gadget but I'm pretty sure I can come up with a list like that. Now if they released documents such as, "The guy who carries the nuclear launch codes is Herman Munster, and he lives at 1313 Mockingbird Lane." Fine, now that's something that's dangerous and needs to be protected at all costs. "The current locations of all of the Ohio Class Ballistic Missile submarines are as follows..." Great, shut that shit down and nail Assange to a cross. But, "We think Prince Andrew is a jerk." C'mon that shouldn't be classified. That's not national security. It's embarrassing the same way talking about someone at a party only to find out they're standing behind you. Think of how differently the world would be right now if Nixon had simply said, "Yeah those Deepthroat tapes? Sorry, those are classified."

Look, if you're going to wage war against Wikileaks and Assange, go for it. But do it for the right reasons. Do it because they're legitimately threatening the security of your nation and putting its citizens in danger. Not because they tell the world that you pick your nose and cry at the end of My Girl. That shit is weak.

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Now, one thing has always struck me as kind of funny and kind of sad about the human race. We're the only species that will look at some magnificent example of another species, and then want to kill it just because. And I'm not shitting on hunters or fishingerman, or anything of the like. I love me some steak. I loves me some swordfish. I just find it interesting we kill based upon aesthetics. I just can't imagine two lions sitting around and one going, "I ever tell you about the time I brought down a 300lb wildebeast with my own four paws?" "300? 300? Shit man, that ain't nothing. my cousin Charlie once got cornered by a 360lb wildbeast, crazy with the fever. Took him damn near three hours and he nearly lost an eye but he done it. Got the head right here to prove it." I guess I would just like ot imagine that at some point, you'd come across a particular animal so damned impressive that you'd have to step back and say, "Mr. Huge Ass Elk. You're so damned big and old, you get a pass." You know, like they do with lobsters sometimes. And I tried to find that old American Indian quote, something about only killing what you need and always showing respect for your food. Because I'd like to recite it to this kid's parents, right as I beat the lot of them all to death. Ahh, little Arab kids. They blow up so fast, don't they?

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