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Ernie's House of Whoopass! January 05, 2011
January 05, 2011

If He Had Retired Back In 2005, None Of This Would Have Happened.

Well today is the big day: Machete is being released on DVD/Blu-ray. And yes, motherfuckers, I'm all over it as soon as I can get out the door. But hand in hand with the DVD release are all kinds of other goodies such as some behind the scenes footage (dyke or not, Michelle Rodriguez still looks good when she's not scowling), a new Machete/Brisk iced tea commercial, and an extended interview with Danny Trejo. As I will do anything Danny Trejo tells me to do, by the time you read this I'll be on my way to Best Buy for the hook up. And remember: Machete don't text.

Keeping in ming that Big Red's 360 V-8 puts out an earth shaking 230hp and 330 lbs/torque, all while achieving an OPEC busting 11 miles per gallon, let's discuss the new 2011 Dodge Challenger. It's 392 Hemi is rated at 470 horsepower and 470 lb-ft of torque. In fact, the entry level version of the Challenger has the new Pentastar V-6 with 305 horsepower and will pull between 25-28 mpg on the highway. Fuck me.

Hey Ernie. I saw this phone cam pic, and thought something was a little wrong. Is that a modified AR clone? I knew they made a .410 shotgun upper, but those remington sluggers look like 12 guage to me. The barrel looks a bit thin too. Just a staged shot, or was he actually firing 12 guage slugs thru that gun? Ben

Actually, that is my (somewhat new) new Saiga 12. I bought it about two months ago but having hints of a Vodka Special, will admit it's been off to a rather checkered start. My first trip to the range I couldnt' get it to cycle any low powered ammunition at all; high powered 3" magnum slugs would only cycle the first 3-4 shots. it was then that I became intimtely aware of how the gas ports work, and how the stock gas regulator sucks cock. My particular Saiga has 3 gas ports drilled, but 1 of them was offset from the barrel/gas tube so it was essentially blocked. With not enough gas entering the gas tube, the gun didn't have enough power to cycle the bolt. I found some instructions to correct this problem at home but once I noticed the list of tools required included an 8oz ball peen hammer and a 10"-12" shelf bracket, decided this was a better left to skilled hands. So I shipped the gun off for warranty repair and received it back three weeks later. The gas ports had been drilled out correctly and the bolt has been polished. Life was good. I took my bro and my nephew to the range and probably five minutes after that photo was taken, the bolt-hold-open level jammed up inside the received and prevented the bolt from moving. That turned out to be a small scissor-spring that had slipped off the bolt-hold-open bracket; turns out the notch to keep the spring in place was too shallow. So with the help of my Dremel, I deepened the notch and that issue seems to be resolved. I've also picked up an aftermarket gas plug -- the MD Arms V-plug -- and once you get it dialed in seems to eat various brands of ammunition quite reliably. So out of the box reliability? Not so much. Reliable after a little bit of tweaking and some TLC? Yeah, seems to be.

Ernie, this was in todays paper. So your Lord of War piece was quite timely. Jack

Old and busted: arm wrestling. The new hotness: leg wrestling. Old and busted: Redneck Steve on a lawnmower. The new hotness in 2011: Redneck Steve on a scissor lift. Neither of which should not be confused with Redneck Steve versus the taser.

what the average u.s. salary means to some athletes.

(wile e. coyote) > (little dog named trixie) but (rotweiller named happy) > (wile e. coyote)

as many as eighty-percent of jobs openings are unlisted? really?

was it over when the germans bombed pearl harbor?

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