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Ernie's House of Whoopass! January 14, 2011
January 14, 2011

DVDs Are The New Betamax.

Ten years ago if you'd have told me I could buy a TWO FUCKING TERABYTE DRIVE for under a hundred bucks, I'd have called you a liar. but here I am, proud new owner of 2,048,000,000,000 bytes of storage in exchange for a Benjamin, a Lincoln, and a Washington. So now what I'm doing is ripping all of my DVDs to this hard drive. And then with this new drive plugged into the back of the PC I'm using for Hulu/Netflix, all of my movies will be no more than a few mouse clicks away. This of course opposed to the previous method of fishing around through all two hundred movies (which refuse to remain in alphabetical order despite my best efforts), finding the right goddamn case only to open it to discover the wrong disc inside. So yeah, this is going to be much nicer. And before you ask, I'm using DVD Decrypter to do the actual rip of the DVD. This step takes anywhere from 12-20 minutes depending on how fast your DVD drive is, and the resulting ISO files are around 6 gigs each. Then I use Hand Brake on the ISO files to do the final encoding of the movie to an .MP4 file. This step is completely 100% processor dependant -- the faster your CPU the faster the encoding goes. I have an eh-so-so middle of the road Intel Core i5 750 @ 2.67GHz and it takes my machine about 15 minutes per movie. For shits and grins, I tried it on an older AMD Athlon 64 X2 Dual Core 6000+ and it took 1 hour and 17 minutes! Yikes! Anyway, once that second step is done, the ISO files can then be deleted so they're not wasting drive space. In MP4 format, each movie is averaging a little over 1 gigabyte each - meaning I'll be able to fit roughly two thousand movies on this drive. The image quality is about the same as a standard DVD player, which isn't to say it's horrible but it's not quite as a pretty as upscaling progressive scan DVD player. but for the convenience, you can't beat it. Next step: ripping my Blu-Rays.

Joke for you. Orlando Bloom, Miranda Kerr, and their a son walk into an ice-cream shop. Orlando says "I'll have a chocolate." The wife says "I'll have a vanilla." Then Orlando slaps his son in the back of the head and says "What do you want fathead?" The lady helping them says "Why did you hit him in the back of the head and call him fat head?" Orlando Bloom says, "There are three things in life a man wants: The first thing is a nice sports car. And you see that nice Ferrari sitting outside? That's my nice sports car! The second thing in life a man wants is a nice big house. You seen that nice big house on top of the hill on the edge of Sydney harbor? That's my big house! The third thing in life a man wants is a nice tight pussy, and I had that right up until fathead came along!

Ernie, FYI, the Emma Watson look-alike you posted on Tuesday is Nella Mirta, or at least that is what she goes by online.....she has her own website,, is one of the wonderful girls of alsscan, and can also be found on most adult video sites..... oh yeah, and I should probably mention she likes being punched in her vagina hole. Anywho, love the site, keep on keeping on bro...... Derrick

Ask any kid, dentists are creepy. Doctors too. Add in hospitals, mental asylums, straitjackets, surgery, operating rooms, people in scrubs with face masks, horribly bladed surgical equipment, and the oddly sterile environment they all imply, and you can see why the medical field is such a fertile breeding ground for horror films.

Old and busted: fans at Fenway helping a mentally challenged kid finish the National Anthem. The new hotness: hockey fans helping a little girl with mic problems finish the National Anthem.

Old and busted: cats chasing laser pointers. The new hotness: gobble, gobble, bitches!

Old and busted: skinny white kid dancing to Bon Jovi on the jumbotron (complete with post-move-busting interview). The new hotness: skinny black kid Michael Jackson on the jumbotron, but you have to wait for him to get going though.

Hey Ernie, Just got back from visiting my parents in Tubac Az for Christmas, Thought you might like the photos of the inspection station at Rio Rico. Notice all the lamps for nighttime inspection. Anyhow this was daytime and a local sheriff told me I couldn't take pics. But you can see, both the ass end of the train and the front are covered by border personnel. Every train is inspected in the US after it leaves Mexico, by the US Border Patrol. Harald.

My sister in law has a Chrysler 300 that she and my brother went out on some fucking blood quest to find. She wanted a particular year, in a particular color, with a particular interior, with a particular engine. He of course wanted the car at a particular price. it took them two years, but in 2008 they finally laid their hands on it. Now her 2006 mint green Chysler 300 Touring with the 3.5l V6 sits dormant in their heated garage, waiting for the New York winter and its salty roads to grow tired and move on. So without making any 'old and busted' jokes that would get me punched, I pointed out to her that for the 2011 model year, Chrysler just released an updated version of the 300. Our reactions were pretty similar: we both fucking hated it. One of the things I liked most about that car is the front of it: specifically the Bentley style grill and the somewhat rectangular headlights. Chrysler changed them both; and in that regard... change is bad. The interior is much more pimpin, and with a 470hp Hemi I'm sure the SRT is a fucking beast. But dude, put my fucking headlights back. This new hotness is not cool.

24 hours of air travel time lapsed to 1 minute

america's healthiest and unhealthiest states -

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