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Ernie's House of Whoopass! January 27, 2011
January 27, 2011

Some People Just Deserve The Tape.

Old and busted: launching a single paper airplane from the edge of space. The new hotness: launching 200 paper airplanes from the edge of space.

Next month, the journal Emerging Infectious Diseases is going to publish an article warning of all the horrible diseases we can contract by allowing out pets to sleep in the same bed with us. And excuse me, but I think that's just fucking stupid. For starters, people have been sleping with their pets for hundreds of years now. The two examples they cited are a kid who contracted the plague from his cat -- and oh by the way the fucking cat was covered in fleas. Now who the fuck in their right mind sleeps with a flea infested animals? Who in their right mind allows their pet to become flea infested in the first fucking place? And the second, a guy who kept coming down with MRSA (methicillin-resistant staphylococcus aureus) from sleeping with his dog -- oh and by the way the guy lives in New York City and walked his dog every day through that filth without ever washing the dog's paws before bed. So I don't think it's a case of people contracting diseases from their pets, I think it's a case of people contracting stupidity. But on a more serious note, I can share one example of allowing your pets in bed with you, that I experienced first hand. I'm laying in bed with Ike up against the left side of my hip. I rolled over and my peener fell out of the front of my boxers and landed on Ike's head. Yeah, awkward but at least he kept his tongue in his mouth. And no we didn't jump and hug each other, like that homo scene from Rocky III, which by the way was one of the biggest overreactions ever.

Ernie, You were a little unsure about the year if the Chevrolet Impala SS [Super Sport] in the video that lit up the street. I have included two images showing the difference. [1963 | 1964] The car was actually a 1964 Chev Impala SS. You Rock! Carl

'63 Impala, no -- In profile, 63 front and rear are pointed like < >. '64 front and rear are rounded like ( ). Burnout performed by '64 Impala. Long time daily reader, second time contributor. First contribution was a bust, didn't do the math, glad I did not take credit. Steve

Old and busted: Peking duck. The new hotness: Peeping duck.

One celeb I've always been infatuated with is Julia Stiles. Which is pretty out of character for me because she's not exactly what you would call, ahem, full figured. In fact I'd even go so far as to say that while she's very pretty, she's also flat as a board. But I still remember the tabletop dance she did in movie long time ago -- which also turned me on to Notorious B.I.G's Hypnotize -- and I've been hooked on both ever since. Then she joined season 5 of Dexter but adamantly denies breaking Dexter's wife/sister's heart. That's kind of a fucked up relationship, if you ask me.

Hi Ernie, Thanks to your site I can only hope I am well enough prepared for the forthcoming zombie invasion! Thank you, Shawn

On Monday, 1/24/11 - you had a pic/link to some muscle-bound women. Here is some hard stuff (NSFW LINK) you can check out, put up, do whatever with. Personally, I don't find them all that distasteful, sex-wise. Rock on - Richard

Uh. I don't really know what to say to that one, Richard. I'll admit Julia Stiles isn't the most curvaceous thing to paddle the planet and I don't mind fitness models with a little meat on their bones, such as uber-hottie Jamie Eason. But I think that if those "women" took over the earth, they'd render men obsolete inside of twenty minutes; right after dildos, Humvees, and e-book readers. And who wants that?

Super Bowl commercials have become part of the game. They cost of one Super Bowl ad can range from two to three million dollars for a 30 second spot. That is just a small price to pay for the 100 million viewers that will watch the ad on Super Bowl Sunday. But what about the ads that get banned? Is there a place where we can go to look at those ads deemed too sexy even for television? Why yes, yes there is.

the ULTIMATE jason statham movie quiz - getting myself mcfired

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