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Ernie's House of Whoopass! February 08, 2011
February 08, 2011

I Would Pay Anything To Motorboat Those.

Russell Brand must be the happiest man on Earth. Which is fitting given that he worked for P-Diddy in Get Him To The Greek, and Diddy is black, and February is Black History Month. This of course should not to be confused with Blacktoberfest. And did you know that black bears suffer and die for the Queen's Guards' caps? Support this campaign to end blah-blah-cruelty-blah-blah, look Joss Stone got naked for PETA.

I know she's got one crazy eye that kinda roams around from time to time, but after seeing the lesbian scene between her and Angelina Jolie in Gia, I think Elizabeth Mitchell is the real sex pot in V, not Morena Baccarin. And here's some trivia: when you shoot Elizabeth Mitchell's clone, it totally vaporizes. But when you shoot your testicles, they do not.

Old and busted: The Carnival of Brazil, which is an annual festival held forty-six days before Easter. The new hotness: The 40 Day Carnival of Uraguay. Note: Uruguayan chicks like revealing costumes just as much as Brazilian chicks do, so be a sneaky devil and use caution if you're opening at work.

Ernie, Greetings and salutations from Nashua, NH. I was on Daniel Webster Hwy on my way to the mall when I happened across this incident, and thought you'd like a look of (nearby) your old stomping grounds. Tandem trucks and u-turns don't mix. Dan

Ernie, Seems like this douche nozzle got what was coming his way. If only Mike Vick would have weaponized those poor dogs. Love the site, Kevin

Ah, Nashua. I used to have some pretty good times up there. The Nashua House of Pizza was one of my favorites, although they didn't deliver when I lived there.

The more you know: How to pump up your ipod (or cell phone) with Gatorade and an onion. Somehow, I'm pretty sure salt is involved.

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