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Ernie's House of Whoopass! February 24, 2011
February 24, 2011

Somehow I'm Reminded Of A Package Of Hamburger Buns.

A ragged, gaunt, toothless, unshaven, sickly, used up Charlie Sheen continues to be my fucking hero. I'm not too sure about renting an entire yacht just to watch Jaws though. I mean what danger does an ordinary shark pose to a 100' yacht? None, that's what. So Charlie should have turned it up a notch and went with Super Shark instead. What makes it so awesome? The fact that the shark is bulletproof and walks on its fins? No? A shark dragging down an entire oil rig platform by the crane? No. Is it John Schneider from the Dukes of Hazzard? No. Is it Jimmie JJ Walker saying, "Dyno-o-mite!" No. What makes this movie so awesome is the prototype army tank that walks on mechanical legs, and is capable of karate kicking said super shark. That's right, rest in pieces, motherfucker.

Boeing B-29 Superfortress serial number 44-62070 belongs to the Commemorative Air Force and is the only airworthy B-29 in the world at present. Fifi was grounded in 2006 because of problems with all four engines. In 2008, the Commemorative Air Force and the Cavanaugh Flight Museum announced that Fifi would be reengined, and be returned to flight status. On 15 July 2010 talks with the FAA to sign Fifi's Airworthiness Certificate were completed. Fifi took flight in early August 2010 with its new engines and was flown in the CAF AIRSHO air show in October 2010 and is currently available for rides at select airshows.

A woman is dead after stealing a local radio station's van and sending authorities on a high-speed chase. It all began when a hot 106.1 vehicle was stolen from the Chili’s parking lot around one thirty this afternoon. Police quickly put out a notice looking for the vehicle. It was spotted almost one hundred miles away near crystal city and rolled over several times after authorities tried to stop the driver. The 42-year-old woman who stole the vehicle died in that crash. brainzzz photo - article

Yo Ernie, It's Tim-not-Timmy. Thought you might like this - I had the attached caricature done of Earl, your old '63. The zombie-beach them was kinda Ernie-inspired. BRAIIIINNNNZZZZ! The guy that drew this goes by the handle "Ben Dragdaddys" on Facebook. If you'd post it on EHOWA, I'm sure Ben would appreciate it. Thanks Ernie, Tim

Everywhere you look lately somebody is cashing in their chips. It looks like the Deadliest Catch is just that - deadly. First it was Captain Phil, now it's Justin Tennison (who?), a deckhand/ engineer from the Time Bandit. And here I always thought Phil's addict son Jake was going to be next.

Laura Vanderhoot is the actress who plays Lisa on V. In the show, she's the teenage daughter of the Visitor Queen, and is responsible for seducing a 17 year old human boy. The catch is, Laura is actually 26. But she can still rock a bikini.

This is why God sends rain to Mexico but not to the Middle East. Jon

Ernie - I am rapidly develping a big crush on this lady, Lyndsy Fonseca (NSFW site), who plays secret agent Alex on CW's " Nikita" (and likewise a hot crush on her costar Maggie Q for that matter.) Finally found a gallery of pix of Lyndsy that starts to do her some photo-justice -Dewey in Wyoming, where women do not look like this at all

Ahhh, Maggie-Q. Everybody wants to be considered a winner when it comes to sports, but the reality is there are far more losers. It is a well known theory that most women who win in sports aren't the best looking. Sure there are the Jennie Finch's, Maria Sharapova's, and Lindsey Vonn's of the world that have the unique combination of athleticism and beauty. But for most women, it's one or the other. Now Paraguyan Leryn Franco may be decent at throwing the javelin. But did you see her spread in the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue?

how far is the moon from earth? - eight charts that explain what's wrong with america

vectrix: shoot down your enemies, avoid obstacles and collect bonuses - why you're not married

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