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Ernie's House of Whoopass! February 28, 2011
February 28, 2011

Most of The Time - And This Includes Naps - I'm An F-18, Bro.

Charlie Sheen. I fucking love this guy. And you want to know why? Because after every other actor out there goes batshit crazy, they immediately spirit themselves off to some bullshit rebah center, only to emerge a few weeks later and make a beeline to Oprah just as fast as they fucking can to explain to everyone, "Oh that wasn't the real me." But Charlie Sheen? He says fuck that. "I'm (reasonably) clean and (reasonably) sober and I still say fuck you." You gotta admire the pair of balls on this guy, right? In fact, just when you think that nothing crazier can come out of his mouth? He goes and tops himself. So you never know what's going to come out of this guy's mouth. He's like watching a young Howard Stern with a bad haircut and a coke habit. Do you have any fucking idea how many F-18 drivers are running around the tarmac and high fiving each other while chanting, "I'm an F-18, bro, and I will destroy you in the air and I will deploy my ordinance to the ground!" I'll tell you: all of them. Because they all want to be Charlie Fucking Sheen, just like I do. I'm not kidding when I tell you that I set up Google Alerts to send "Charlie Sheen" updates to my cellphone. I want to know what's going on in this guy's life, as it happens. That's the cloest thing I can get to being Charlie Sheen without spitting my own teeth out.

You think Two and a Half Men is finished? Yeah, probably. And while that doesn't bode well for Jon Cryer or the fat kid, do you think Charlie Sheen is finished? Fuck you, he's got a $10 million book deal lined up for a tell-all behind the scenes look at Two and a Half Men. So no, I don't think things turned out exactly as ol Charlie Harper had planned but I'll bet you that in five years, Charlie Sheen will still be a household name while the other will elicit a "Chuck Who?" response. Say what you want, Charlie Sheen is pure fucking awesome.

Hey Ernie, So a religious extremist, a car salesman, and a trans-gender walk into city hall... I know there's a punch line in here somewhere. This is too comical not to send. Take it easy! James

Hi Ernie, love the site and really wanted to share this with you. I took my wife to the Fort Worth Air show back in August and we were walking around when I blurted out......"OH fuck, it's Fifi!" Well of course she was expecting some big tit blond to be walking up to us and didn't realize for once I was looking at an awesome piece of flying history! My Wife is from Midland where she was under going restoration( the aircraft, not my wife) and I didn't know she was back in the air yet! I live within a mile of the museum that helped to contribute her to flight worthiness and after talking with the crew (who are very cool) found out she was due to land in Addison (just North of down town Dallas) the next morning. Needless to say, I was there and after waiting for a little while managed to get these great shots as she first buzzed the runway and then landed. The Cavanaugh Flight Museum is a great place and I hope when they do their Independence day fly past that she'll be there and I will share some more pictures. Thanks, Nigel

De Wallen is the largest and best-known of the three red-light districts in Amsterdam. As well of providing sexual services the area is also a major tourist attraction. Amsterdam’s ladies of the night have moved with the times and no longer just ply their trade after dark. They are on show in the windows for all to see, and choose from, during the day too. If you’re wondering how much it costs to lighten your load with one of these women then you can expect to pay upwards of 50 euros for a 20 minute liaison behind the closed curtains and locked door.

Hey Ernie, thought maybe you could work this into a post. The last man standing of the American Doughboys from World War I, Mr Frank Buckles, has caught the last troopship home at 110 years old. God Speed. Joshua.

So long, Doughboy, we hardly knew ye. Doughboy is an informal term for an American soldier, especially members of the American Expeditionary Forces (AEF) in World War I. The term dates back to the Mexican–American War of 1846–48. The term was used sparingly during World War II, gradually replaced by the appellations "G.I.", "Troop", or "Dogface", but was still used in popular songs of the day, as in the 1942 song "Johnny Doughboy found a Rose in Ireland." It dropped out of popular use soon after World War II. As culled from Wikipedia.

Guy walks across America. Meh. Chick walks across Mexico. Meh. The Mexican chick is hot. Oh, well why didn't you say so?

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