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Ernie's House of Whoopass! March 01, 2011
March 01, 2011

That's A Joke, Right? Like Photoshopped or Something?

Uh oh, looks like everyone favorite ordinance dropping F-18 might have been grounded for good. Fight the power, Charlie. Yeah, you stock right up on those D-cell Engergizers and fight the power.

And from the About-Fucking-Time department: In January, Google promised it would take action against content farms that were gaining top listings with flat or low-quality content. Now Google changes its algorithm on a regular basis, but most changes are so subtle that few notice. This one is different. Domains containing low-quality content are going to rank lower, while high-quality pages are going to jump up. Google says the change impacts 12% of its search results in the US, a far higher impact on results than most of its previous algorithm changes. So far it only impacts results in the US but worldwide rollout is just around the corner. But don't worry, they're still factoring porn into their results.

For about 40 years, Trekkies have been saying, "If the Star Trek transporters have the ability to teleport people from place to place, why do they need ships?" And, through every episode and every film since the 1960s, the show explained it away as the transporters having some basic limitations: namely that they have a relatively short range -- only 40,000 kilometers, max. Essentially, it's useful only for getting on and off the Enterprise without the producers having to acquire the kind of budget they would need to animate the ship actually landing. Now, the 2009 film has a major plot point where Kirk needs to be teleported onto the Enterprise, but the Enterprise is moving at warp speed at the time. Scotty figures out a way to do it, and the movie celebrates this achievement as being the first time anyone has ever been transported to an object moving that fast. But that isn't the point. The Enterprise is shooting off at Warp 3 just before Scotty and Kirk beam aboard. Warp 3, by the way, is 27 times the speed of light. Or 5 million miles a second. That means that by the time Kirk has finished saying, "I really liked you in Shaun of the Dead," the Enterprise would be out of the solar system.

Hey Ernie thought this would be a good one. Video of WWII US Army sniper getting a chance to shoot at 1,000 yards with modern sniper team. Pretty cool.Jeff

Ernie, Long time reader. Figured you would be interested that this phenomenon has an actual title. Chris

Old and busted? The Most Interesting Man In The World. The new hotness? The Most Interesting Black Man In The World.

American Idol isn't quite the cultural juggernaut it once was, especially with 2/3 of the original judging cast now replaced with sort of bizarre choices, but there's something American Idol is still good for: extremely hot contestants. It's a time worn strategy to placate guys roped into watching the show by their significant others, and we definitely think it's the highlight of the show. Going through the casts from all ten seasons of American Idol, here are the hottest contestants of all time. Hint: think Kelly Pickler's boobs.

"Job Accident" - I thought it was an actual job accident, little did I know it was meant for the DUDEWTF part of your website. Amputee porn is one thing, the wrong kind is if there is a right kind!! [EXTREMELY NSFW] (a different) Jeff

A human pyramid is a type of stunt in which several participants stand or kneel together in a row or other formation, forming a base for another tier of participants who stand or kneel on their shoulders, backs or thighs. Successively smaller tiers of participants may be added, each tier supported by the one below it. Lighter participants are placed at the top of the formation, while the strongest participants form the base of the pyramid.

How do you know you've made an awesome fucking commercial? It's directed by Robert Rodriguez and stars Danny Trejo as The Crippler. That's how.

egos might keep zombieland 2 from happening - alessa ambrosio doing pilates. you're welcome

the brutal training to become a shaolin monk - female athletes who were born to wear spandex

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