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Ernie's House of Whoopass! March 14, 2011
March 14, 2011

Some How I Don't Think This Is What Charles Had In Mind.

In a sad example of life imitates art, fans of The Wire will remember Felicia 'Snoop' Pearson from season 4 - sShe was one of the cold hearted enforcers for Marlo Stanfield. Well guess what? Popped for being part of a Baltimore drug syndicate. Now the guy who created The Wire, David Simon, has spoken out in defense of Pearson -- who is a Baltimore native -- but whether or not that will do any good remains to be seen. And if you've never seen the show, you don't know what you're missing. Especially this clip Kristin Proctor.

All Godzilla jokes aside -- and yes I really do feel bad for them -- I must admit I find the Japanese tsunami morbidly fascinating. You see Hollywood pumps us up with shit like this and this, so when you hear the word 'tsunami' it carries with it certain expectations, right? Then when the 2004 Indonesian tsunami struck and it was more knee deep brown river than skyscraper high cresting whitecap, and I guess I found that to be somewhat of a letdown. At least with this Japanese version, you get to appreciate somewhat of a mini-disaster movie. I chalk that up to Japan being much more technologically advanced than its southern Asian partner, to include the best earthquake warning system on the planet.

But next on the disaster movie menu? The reactor meltdown? I dunno man, looks like some scary shit. And for all you folks suggesting it's payback for Pearl Harbor -- don't jinx yourself because they just might have an axe to grind about Hiroshima. And I'm sure everyone is overloaded on pictures and videos of the tsunami hitting the Sendei airport, sop I have an honest question. Where the fuck were the airliners? I mean don't most airports have at least one or two planes there overnight? It sure would have been neat to see one of those fuckers float off.

Anyway, over the weekend I commented that justin Timberlake was a fucking idiot because it just broke that he dumped Jessica Biel. I mean what kind of a fucking idiot would do that? Well, turns out he seems to have moved on to Mila Kunis. Touche', Mr. Timberlake, touche'.

Ernie, the problem with Marine rifle exchange was that rifle had just a little more spin than was necessary and therefor the catch was not possible...note barrel/bayonet was already headed down and away from receiver's hand. Anyway, it was a perfect recovery by the 'inspecting' Marine. He did not miss a beat, M-1 in pieces not withstanding. But a waste of a perfectly good M-1. I'll also bet every one of those guys have had an M-1 thumb at some point in time! Know what an M-1 thumb is? Ask and receive. Bert

Ernie, I guarantee it was a bad throw. Looks like a Cpl. throwing to a Pfc. though not a Sgt. Not enough gold on the red to be an E-5 or better. The Cpl. did not put enough spin on it and it did not rotate enough so that it would slap into the hand of the Pfc. plus he put too much umph into the throw so it went over Pfc's head. The Pfc. though should not have ducked at all. It almost looks like a boot squad at graduation maybe or similar because every Marine I know would have just stood there and taken the hit from the piece, not tried to duck out of the way of it. I was on a rifle drill team in '81-'82 using '03A1 Springfield's. The video was too grainy but it looked like that may have been what they were using as well. It certainly broke at the weakest part of the '03 stock though I cannot ever remember seeing one break. It certainly was a sad day at Black Rock when they got off the parade deck though dontcha know ;). Tim

Big Ern, We were there when that happened. It happened at Fort Henry in Kingston Ontario, August 2009. I am by no means an expert, but seeing it in person, it looked like the Cpl made a good throw, but the LCpl just missed the catch. It looked like he was moving out of the way before he even missed the catch, and knew he'd miss it. When it hit the concrete it was loud and it landed pretty far behind him. I am sure he was mortified. Keep doing what you're doing, love the site. Semper Fi, Kevin

This meticulously planned stunt has a rally car accelerating down a road to 60mph, launching off of a 47 degree ramp, and lancing in a huge pile of cardboard boxes some 200 feet away. Unfortunately, the very unmeticulous driver isn't too frigggin smart, because he hits the ramp at 72mph instead. Hilarity ensues.

Leanne Crow is a 22 year old model from England. She’s got really big boobs (34JJ) and you’re gonna love them. Yes, I said 34 Double-J's – do I really need to ay anything else?

Good morning Ernie, Here’s Funny Or Die’s new video starring the notorious Charlie Sheen. Sheen’s new cooking show, Winning Recipes, teaches you how to cook like a warlock. Thanks for your time and please let me know if you have any questions! Greg, FunnyOrDie.com

Forget what the American Film Institute has to say. They're just boring old people. We asked YOU, to vote on your favorite comedies and we have compiled the definitive list of The 100 Best Comedies of All Time (according to people who actually watch comedies, and not the aforementioned old people). Check out the results.

Naturally, when we see a beautiful woman in a sexy dress, the first thing that comes to mind usually involves having her take it off. But it's stuff like sexy dresses that make everything else, like the lingerie underneath, that much better.

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