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Ernie's House of Whoopass! March 23, 2011
March 23, 2011

Win The Crowd, And You Shall Win Your Freedom.

Listen to me. Learn from me. I was not the best because I killed quickly. I was the best because the crowd loved me. Win the crowd and you will win your freedom. - Antonius Proximo

And that my friends, is exactly what Charlie Sheen is doing. And everybody loves him for it. Because when he's not posing with porn stars who are wearing his new line of t-shirts, he's crashing Kimmel and handing shit out to people. And when he's not crashing Kimmel and handing shit out to people, he's going on his sold out one man show called My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is Not an Option Show. And when he's not going on his sold out one man show called My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is Not an Option Show, he's very simply, livin the dream. Two and a Half men would be shit without him, and since nobody can replace him, that's exactly why the folks at CBS will crumble to his demands and offer him his job back. See you back on the air soon, Charlie Harper. [some of charlie's shirts]

And yes, I fucked up yesterday -- the end of the world is supposed to be in May not March. My bad. Looks like I have to keep paying my mortgage, at least for a little while.

A couple of years ago, I was doing delivery driving. I got back to the store after one run, and some older black gentleman was inside, talking to my boss. This man had asked me if I had seen the last Cowboy's game. Incidentally, this was in Arlington, Tx. I told him that the last time football players went on strike, I was in the Army, making about $600/month. But that was ONLY if we were over sea's, doing hazardous business and such. $3,600/year. Here I had been making FAR less than any professional athlete in the defense of America. And these fuckers wanted to go on strike for more money? I ended up telling this man that I thought the newer football players were a bunch of pussies. That older black gentleman was Tony Dorsett. He told me I had made some good points. Just wanted to relate. Woody

Hey, Ern! Can't do a shot about Ladyboys without a game to see if you can spot one! -Motorhed.

Well, that quiz might have been a little tougher had we not had all that preparation yesterday. But during lunch I did a search for "Pattaya" in my past emails, and it brought up some other hits, in response to the Lunch in Thailand post from way back on 07/02/2009.

Your foreign word of the day is "ausgang", which means "exit" in German. Therefore, the exit is to this girl's right.

This is a rescue group who help people who are involved in fatal accidents. The link to the site is here. Notice the similarities in the uniforms. I would love to know what the international human rights counsel thinks. I hope that this helped it seemed as if you guys did not know who they where. Cheers. Mike

Hey Ernie - Those uniforms are Por-Tek-Tung, they're the meat wagon in Thailand. I spent a month over there working in a hospital and got to know a few of them. Their main function is to pick up dead bodies and bring them to monasteries, sometimes that means from hospitals, a lot of the time in means from road accidents. Definitely not into eating people, they do it as a volunteer service to win merit with Buddha. That looks like an anatomy training course for the ones who respond to live victims. Those dudes roll *hard*. They brought a cobra bite victim and the cobra in (alive) so we'd know what bit him, then they disappeared with the snake. I went out for a smoke 20 minutes later and they were eating it after cooking it on their engine block. -Tony

But enough about cross gendered Pattaya bar girls. Let's talk about Cambodian karaoke girls. Hint: I don't think any of them can really sing. Wash cars? Sure. Pole dance? Maybe. Pole dance for Jesus? Hell, yes. but sing karaoke, no.

P.S. I wasn't kidding about the Hello Kitty thing, either.

do not run towards us marines who are rescuing a downed pilot - how to get all the bitches

ines rates the worst nuclear accidents - an hiv+ escort goes deep into berlin’s bareback scene


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