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Ernie's House of Whoopass! April 05, 2011

April 5, 2011

I'm A Coal Miner, Not A Professional Film Or Television Actor.

Attention: the following videos contains extreme language and inappropriate behavior. Viewer discretion is advised.

In Zoolander, Ben Stiller plays a male model who only knows how to make one facial expression in front of a camera: Blue Steel. Some of us have friends with their own version of Blue Steel -- a particular facial expression that comes out every time they've had a few drinks and someone shoves a camera in their face. Well, it turns out that some of Hollywood's most iconic actors are no different when it comes to selling their movie. And listen, you better feel sorry for Ben Stiller, he's had to drop the price of his 10 bedroom estate by $1 million, so now it's on the market for a paltry $11.5 million! between that and his uber hot wife, Christine Taylor, what's a guy to do?

A lot of people send in car crash videos.... you know the kind. Some idiot sets a camera on his dashboard and decided to go speeding through traffic so we get a first person view of the crash? You can almost always predict what's going to happen, but not so in this case.... I guarantee this video will scare the fucking shit out of you, as it did me. I never ever saw it coming. Literally.

The Ford Explorer was released in March 1990 as a 1991 model. It was equipped with a 4.0l 155 hp V6 engine and either the 4-speed automatic transmission or 5-speed manual transmission. Like the Bronco II it replaced, it was an SUV derivative of the Ranger pickup, and came equipped with many of the Ranger's optional features. The Explorer saw significant exterior, interior and suspension updates in 1995. Sales peaked in 2000 with 445,157 units sold, but little did Ford know there were rough seas ahead. In May 2000, the Explorer's success hit a wall when the US National Highway Traffic Safety Administration contacted Ford and Firestone about a higher than normal incidence of tire failures on Ford Explorers, Mercury Mountaineers, and Mazda Navajos fitted with Firestone tires. The failures all involved tread separation, in which the outer tread carcass would delaminate and cause a rapid loss of tire pressure. In 2009, the second generation Explorer had five of the top seven spots for vehicles traded in under the "cash for clunkers" program, with the 1998 model topping the list. The 1994 model from the previous generation also had the eighth spot on the list. The fifth generation 2011 Explorer takes cues from the Explorer America concept truck's construction, including blacked-out pillars to produce a floating roof effect similar to Land Rover's floating roof design used on its sport utility vehicles. Now lo and behold, the current generation Ford Explorer has earned the 2011 North American Truck of the Year award.

Hey Ernie, I was ecstatic when I first saw you joined the Mosin club. As you've already heard they are a pain to clean, but have you heard of cleaning it using a method called electrolysis? After your routine cleaning, you can go further by using a simple phone charger you create an electrical reaction to make excess rust and metal residue rise to top and end up looking like the morning after an all you can eat burrito fest. The funnel is fastened to the end of my barrel. i dont remember the site i learned from, but this one will do. you're basically making your cleaning rod a magnet and putting it down the center of the barrel. be sure to put tape or some kind of bumper around the rod to keep it from hitting the barrel and shorting out. hope the site helps, as i am would be terrible at explaining it. Scott

I have a Mosin Nagant, damn thing is a cannon. But I have been trying to get it sighted, I have had guys who think they know what they are doing. But at ay 100 yards it is still off by two inches from the center mass. I know you are are new to this rifle but do you have any help for me to get it on target? Thanks in advance. Dean NC

Actually mine is off about 3" to the right at 50 yards, so I'm in the same boat as you. I looked around for how to adjust the front site, since it seems to be dovetailed in there pretty good. I found some articles that suggest adjusting the site with a hammer and punch pin. And while yes, I'm sure that's right in line with the Mosin's mantra of Get A Bigger Hammer, personally I'll be trusting my adjustment to this $16 front site adjustment tools. You can also find them on ebay, but be advised there are two different models for the M44 vs 91/30 due to two different barrel circumferences, the M44 having the much smaller of two two. on that note, you know how sometimes people complain that supermodels are unrealistically thin, and present an unhealthy self image to the outside world? This is how Candice Swanepoel looked at the end of last year. Nice and voluptuous, like the 91/30 yes? Well this is how she looks now in M44 mode. What the fuck? She looks like she's got ostrich legs. I'm not saying I'd kick her out of bed or anything but goddamn lady, eat a andwich.

Hey Ernie, Up here in Canada, it's not as easy to get a firearm for hunting- so we have to improvise. Step 1: Buy a house in a wooded area. Step 2: Carefully position your house in the flight path of your intended target. Step 3: Wait. Step 4: Good eatin'. This is my first trophy. I'm thinking about trying to bag a deer next time.... Alan

Ernie, I gotta tell you this. Sarbi, an Australian Army explosives sniffer dog, got separated in a firefight by the RPG that wounded his handler, the same firefight that resulted in the awarding of the Victoria Cross, Australia, to a fellow soldier. Sarbi, was listed 'Missing in action'. Never leave a mate behind. 13 months later, an unknown American Soldier on patrol, saw something 'unusual', (I won't blow the whole story). His knowledge, experience, situation awareness, on ground' skills, 'kicked in'. Because of this unknown American Soldier, a mate was'nt left behind. Never leave a mate behind. Sarbi's journey is known by all the Australian Defence Forces. The identity of that American Soldier is not. Stu. p.s. Sorry, you'll have to look up 'Sarbi', I have no clue how to do it.

Hmmmmm, how to look up Sarbi, how to look up Sarbi. Hmmmmmmmm. Actually I was a little confused as to why Stu was sending that in now, since the whole lost and found ordeal happened between 2008 and 2009. Turns out, the pooch was just awarded the RSPCA Purple Cross a couple of days ago, although it looks like Sarbi's wikipedia entry hasn't been updated yet. One curious note though. The top article in that Google search was titled, "War Hero Has A Beer With Mates For Legacy", which io took to mean theyy were giving beer to the dog. Which I thought was fucking awesome as Ike enjoys the brew also, plus then they both could hang out with these drunk English chicks sleeping it off in the gutter.

Speaking of dogs -- Ban, the Japanese dog who spent three weeks at sea, floating on top of ruins of a house? Has been reunited with his owner. They have not however been reunited with their house, which was last seen floating some three hundred miles off the coast of Guam, hopefully with this cat still aboard.

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