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Uh-Oh, Time To Go Sleepies. Courtesy of SEAL Team Six

The compound is in Abbottabad, about 50 kilometers (31 miles) north of the Pakistani capital of Islamabad. The city sits in a mountainous region of Pakistan and is not heavily populated. Many of the residents are army personnel. While senior administration officials would not offer a breakdown of the U.S. mission's composition, a senior defense official said U.S. Navy SEALs were involved. After years of intelligence work and months of following a specific lead, they traced a courier linked to bin Laden to the compound in Abbottabad. When first built, the compound was secluded and reachable by only a dirt road, the officials said. In recent years, more residences built up around it, but it remained by far the largest and most heavily secured property in the area, they said.

Revenge Is An Act Of Passion; Vengeance Of Justice. Injuries Are Revenged; Crimes Are Avenged.

So can you believe I was about a day away from posting this? Seriously. I found it over the weekend and had it ready to roll on Monday morning. Funny how things work out, eh?

Wait, Are We Allowed To Cross Memes Like That?

There are some out there suggesting that we -- the loveable Americans -- take no pleasure in OBL's death. And I'm not talking about the stupid ass quotes that people have been forwarding around. I'm talking about real stuff like Vatican spokesman Federico Lombardi who said, "A Christian never rejoices in the death of any man, no matter how evil, but instead reflects on the serious responsibility of each and every one of us has before God and before man." And I'm here to tell you, I just can't get behind that shit. I think it's fucking awesome he's dead, I'm glad he's dead, I rejoice that he's dead and ask nor want any forgiveness in doing so. I mean, I'm not as happy as this guy, but I'm certainly happier about it than these subway riders.

Claude Choules, Last World War I Combat Veteran, Dies At 110.

Claude Stanley Choules, the last known combat veteran of World War I, died Thursday at a nursing home in the Western Australia city of Perth, his family said. World War I was raging when Choules began training with the British Royal Navy, just one month after he turned 14. In 1917, he joined the battleship HMS Revenge, from which he watched the 1918 surrender of the German High Seas Fleet, the main battle fleet of the German Navy during the war. He was 110.

Fall seven times, stand up eight - Japanese Proverb.

True story: Charles Wepner is a former heavyweight boxer from Bayonne, New Jersey. He had formerly boxed while a member of the United States Marine Corps, and had worked as a security guard before turning pro in 1964, and began posting many wins and some losses. Then, in 1975, it was announced yhat this relatively unknwon boxer would challenge Muhammad Ali for the world's Heavyweight title. According to a Time magazine article, "In Stitches", Ali was guaranteed $1.5 million and Wepner signed for $100,000. This was considerably more than Wepner had ever earned and he therefore did not need any coaxing. Wepner spent eight weeks near the Catskill Mountains under the guidance of Al Braverman and Bill Prezant. Prezant prophesied that the fight would be a big surprise, as this bout was the first time Wepner had been able to train full time. The fight was held on March 24 at the Richfield Coliseum, near Cleveland. Before the fight, a reporter asked Wepner if he thought he could survive in the ring with the champion, to which Wepner allegedly answered, "I've been a survivor my whole life...if I survived the Marines, I can survive Ali." In the ninth round Wepner managed to do the impossible and knock Ali down, although Ali later contended that Wepner had stepped on his foot. Wepner went to his corner and said to his manager, "Hey, I knocked him down." "Yeah," Wepner's manager replied, "but he looks really pissed off now..." In the remaining rounds, Ali decisively outboxed Wepner and opened up cuts above both Wepner's eyes and broke his nose. Wepner was far behind on the scorecards when Ali knocked him down with 19 seconds left in the 15th round. The referee counted to nine before calling a technical knockout. A young actor Sylvester Stallone watched the fight at home on television and was inspired to write the script for Rocky, based on Wepner's gutsy challenge.

Insert Your Favorite Mother's Day Weekend Joke Here.

Yeah, I Eat Penis And Don't Tell Anyone. What About It?

So against my better judgement, I went and watched Fast Five this weekend. I mean you pretty much have so, since I've seen all the others up so I'm kind of pot committed at this point. On that note, I wonder is Lucas Black has cut his wrists yet? Anyway, it actually wasn't anywhere near as horrible as I thought it was going to be. Most of the cast from the original film reprised their roles, except for the skinny emo guy (shot in #1) and Michelle Rodriguez (shot in #4). Even the angry guy who got punked out of his Corona made an appearance, although he seems to have eaten quite a few cheeseburgers in his state of depression. The resident eye candy was addressed using a two pronged approach: first there was Gal Gadot, the Israeli swimsuit model who had a brief/unimportant in Fast and Furious as the chick Vin Diesel rescues. Backing her up is Elsa Pataky, a relative unknown who up until now her only brushes with fame were a small role in Snakes on a Plane (she sucked venom out of the little kid's wound) and four years ago when her nude pictures were stolen from Elle by a Spanish magazine called Interviu. Of course with any Fast & Furious movie, you have to check any physics lessons at the theatre door -- Dodge Chargers can not drag around 20,000lb vaults no matter how much nitrous you use -- but if you can do that, the movie is enjoyable.

Somewhere In A Top Secret Helicopter Somewhere Over Afghanistan.

Product placement in feature films and television has gradually become the new celebrity endorsement. Gone are the days where Ben Cartwright would call his sons around to see if they could help Chevrolet dealers meet their sales goals that year. I mean hey, at least you knew those were commercials and you were deliberately being given a sales pitch, right? But at some point, advertisers got downright crafty -- I think they had to because there aren't any 'trusted' shows on television anymore -- our faith in the telision dad died off with The Cosby Show. So then came the Marboro van in Superman, and that's what started the landslide. That gave way to the Ford Explorer in Jurassic Park, and from there all hell broke loose. The Transformers series? Christ man, one big Chevy commercial, just like Fast Five is for Dodge.

Drugs May Be The Road To Nowhere, But At Least They're The Scenic Route. .

Some people have got to be on fucking drugs. They must be. For example: Osama Bin Laden's son, Omar, has denounced the Al Qaeda leader's killing as 'criminal' and said he reserves the right to take legal action against America. In his statement, Omar states, "for it is unacceptable, humanely and religiously, to dispose of a person with such importance and status among his people, by throwing his body into the sea in that way, which demeans and humiliates his family and his supporters and which challenges religious provisions and feelings of hundreds of millions of Muslims."

It Appears Their Hypocrisy Knows No Bounds.

Here's an issue that's really chaps my ass. Well, yes the TSA as a whole, but I'm talking about something else. No, not OPEC's strangle hold on us, I'm talking about something else. As the economy is starting to show signs of life, it's sure not the raging bull that Democrats promised us a few years ago when they won the majority in 2008. Democratics are quick to lay part of the blame for this continued stagnation on on the previous administration, stating that eight years of GWB's policies cannot be undone overnight (or in this case, a little over two years). Republican counter with fuck no man, enough time has passed for the current administration's changes to have taken effect, and so the responsibility for the still struggling economy is soundly in Obama's court. Now, regardless of what side of that argument you're on, it doesn't matter just so long as you hold fast to your decision: either the two years is enough to draw a distinction between two presidential adminstrations or it's not. Because now apply your reasoning to Osama finally being hunted down and killed, and you'll see each side is doing a complete 180. Democrats want to stand up preach about how Obama is autonomous and succeeded where GWB had continuously failed, where as the Republicans want Obama to share the credit with GWB since bin Laden's killing was a direct result of GWB's longstanding policies.

Somehow I Don't Think She's Talking About Bourbon.

Ever since I was a kid, I've always loved boobs. I find them absolutely mesmerising. So what happens to boobs after they get older? It's horrible. Much like the end of The Giving Tree, Boobs, after providing so many years of thoughtless service, just become completely useless at the end of their life cycle. They become like Ray Liotta in Goodfellas. You can't help but looking at them and thinking, "He was getting front row seats at clubs, and now look at him. Disgusting." That being said, it looks like 42 year old Jennifer Aniston might be the one who steals the show based on what I saw in the trailer of Horrible Bosses. First, she nails it as a sex-obsessed boss. Then, we see some very suggestive clips of her in lingerie doing interesting things with food like a beetle banana and popsicles.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

Understanding The Mystery of My Thumbnails.

Every so often I get a few people who will ask me to explain some of the thumbnails I use. Not the obvious ones such as ROASTBEEF or TWOBLIMPS, but the staples that have been around for awhile and routinely appear in both sides of the SFW/NSFW house, such as DONTLOOK and DUDEWTF. In fact, I've got about two dozen stock thumbnails that I use for quick links: one for pretty much each of the automakers, Judge Judy, Clint Eastwood, that sort of thing. But with each of those you can tell what you're getting into, even f the image itself isn't from that specific media that I'm linking to. Not so with thumbnails such as DUDEWTF and DONTLOOK. You never know what you're gonna get right? Or do you?

There's A pretty Fine Line Between Admiration And Stalking.

So for one reason or another, super athletic chicks seems to have been the common theme in the last week or so. It all started with this picture of a Mustang cheerleader which turned out to be quite popular. Then I stumbled across another photo of her, and again the crowd went wild as they did for Zuzana from yesterday. but back to the original cheerleader chick, given she's in her college cheering uniform, it wasn't too hard to figure out what university she went to. But again, admiration vs stalking. But suffice to say that Danielle Hilliard was named Sports Illustrated's Cheerleader of the Week and here are twelve photos of her in action. Also this iPhone girl has been identified as fitness model Brittany Tracy. And while I am still working on this one don't worry too much, because I'm getting pretty good at this stuff. For example did you know that Konoba Nino Malinska is a quaint little restaurant in Croatia?

I Would Have Thought She Would Be Much, Much, Much Hotter.

You know, a starstruck, young and impressionable athlete like Simona Halep. She's a world top-100 tennis player playing on the ITF Women's Circuit and the WTA Tour, and is currently the number-three ranked woman's tennis player in Romania. Halep started playing tennis at age four, in emulation of her older brother. She has self-described her playing style as being "an aggressive baseliner," while New York Times columnist Michael Kimmelman described her as "a scrappy player from Romania, short but with potent ground strokes and a scrambler's talent." The Romanian busted out at the 2008 French Open, where her ample 34DD breasts attracted ample attention. But Halep's notorious chest caused her, "severe back pain," so she had her abundant breasts surgically reduced in July of 2009, dropping her from from a 34DD cup to 34C. So if you'll all bow your heads in a moment of silence for this senseless tragedy, here is a photo gallery dedicated to Halep's pre-July 2009 34DD hotness.

I Can't Put Into Words How Incredibly Excited I Am.

"Only recently, through careful study of information found in the Bible, we now know the precise timeline of the world’s history, from the creation year of 11,013 BC to Christ's return on May 21, 2011 to the final destruction of the world on October 21, 2011. By God's grace and tremendous mercy, He is giving us advanced warning as to what He is about to do. On Judgment Day, May 21st, 2011, this 5-month period of horrible torment will begin for all the inhabitants of the earth. It will be on May 21st that God will raise up all the dead that have ever died from their graves. Earthquakes will ravage the whole world as the earth will no longer conceal its dead (Isaiah 26:21). People who died as saved individuals will experience the resurrection of their bodies and immediately leave this world to forever be with the Lord. Those who died unsaved will be raised up as well, but only to have their lifeless bodies scattered about the face of all the earth. Death will be everywhere. " -

So I Like To Be REALLY Fucking Prepared, Okay?

Shit. So tomorrow is the rapture, not today. My bad. I'm just trying to keep you guys safe for when the inevitable happens. And as a zombie aficionado, I will admit to occasionally spending too much time wondering just how prepared am I for the end of the world onslaught? In general I would have to wager the average Floridian is more prepared than the average New Englander, for three very important reasons. First, it's customary for us to stock up on food and water, especially during hurricane season which is officially begins in about two weeks. Secondly, and hand in hand with hurricane season, the vast majority of the homes down here have hurricane shutters make them both storm and zombie proof. And finally, there are a lot more well armed rednecks down here, given most of the New England states have stricter gun control laws. Suckers!

Insert Your Favorite Start of The Rapture Weekend Here.


You know, one could argue that the tornadoes that struck Joplin, Missouri were the beginning of the previously scheduled Rapture. Just sayin. But on a more serious note, aside from the blithering idiots who actually attended that church, nobody else actually believed that end of days shit, did they? I mean aren't we all a little too highly developed to be taken in by that shit that guy was trying to sell? Because everyone knows the truth is aliens love and protest us. Sixty years ago they sent their representatives to Roswell, to show us the way to live. And we killed them. But the aliens forgave us. Still to this day, they remains with her here on Earth. Through their powers of telepathy, they can hear our thoughts. All you have to do is love them and think about them, and the millisecond before you die, they will teleport you to their ships, and you will live forever with them in happiness. What, do you think I'm crazy?

I Can Think Of Two Reasons Why The 90's Rocked.

Okay, one downside to the scooter. Sure, it's 1 gallon gas tank and 95 mpg efficiency are great. But when it comes time for the rear tire to be replaced, it's $55 fucking dollars. What the fuck? Hey times are still tough out there. People are still struggling to find work, and those that can't are forced to sell some of their belongings just to keep food on the table. So I have to say the people posting ads on Craigslist sure have stepped up their game lately. Anyone need a picnic table with a navy blue umbrella? No? Then perhaps you can give this little black kitten a new home? That last one is kind of, well, you know.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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