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Ernie's House of Whoopass! May 03, 2011
May 3, 2011

Revenge Is An Act Of Passion; Vengeance Of Justice. Injuries Are Revenged; Crimes Are Avenged.

So can you believe I was about a day away from posting this? Seriously. I found it over the weekend and had it ready to roll on Monday morning. Funny how things work out, eh?

The White House said they're going to release at least one of the (real) death photos and despite what initial reports, there was only one shot to the head, not two. "The gruesome photos show bin Laden shot in the chest and the head by elite Navy SEALS on Sunday. The head wound is above his left eye and is a particularly grisly picture which has tempered officials willingness to display it." Which makes sense I guess, since a Mozambique Drill is "two in the pump, one in the computer." Also keep in mind -- and I'm sure if I'm wrong, folks in the know will correct me -- that the SOCOM guys went to FN SCARs in 7.62mm, so the helmet cam is going to look less like a clip from Call of Duty and more like a Gallagher skit.

NEWSFLASH: Ernie, From a fellow Floridian keep up the great work on the site. I am sure Ron Swanson would approve of your means of celebrating Sunday's news. See attached a photo from a friend who is in a position to know. The previous one posted is a solid photoshop. Apparently 5.56 at close range works just fine... Cheers, Rand

The funny thing is all this came down Sunday night, and quite thankfully, I had gone to bed early so I didn't hear the good news until I woke up yesterday morning -- which just so happened to be my fucking birthday. So thank you US Navy SEALs, for the best fucking birthday present, EVAR. Had I stayed up late, the surprise would have been ruined by the folks chanting USA-USA during the Phillies v. Mets game. I'm sure it was a patriotic moment sure, but nowhere near watching President Bush threw out the first pitch at Yankee Stadium for Game 3 of the 2001 World Series -- that actually gave me goosebumps.

And then Ryan from Radford University sent in this video of students rioting/partying/clebrating bin Laden's death, and I thought that was awesome. And this crowd that spontaneously broke into the Star Spangled Banner at Penn State brought few tears to my eye. You see I have to be honest. I had almost given up hope that we were ever going to find bin Laden. I just assumed he was already dead and buried in some unmarked grave at the bottom of a collapsed cave somewhere on a mountainside on Afghanistan. And with that, too many Americans are ignorant to what happend ten years ago. So to see the college crowds going crazy? Well let me just tell you. At 7:15 in the morning, I went into my very well stocked bar and poured myself a nice snort of bourbon. Had a few more as I surfed around for reactions and I don't mind telling you, I got a little shitty, too. Took a nap on the couch and sobered up around noon.

Just some general oberservations. First, since this attack had been planned since April and the order was given on Friday, I wonder if ol William and Kate delayed their honeymoon for security reasons? You know, "Hey there's some shit going down, you might want to stay on the front porch for a little while." Second, since today is actually TEACHER'S DAY, this teacher finally gets to cut his beard. Third, this was probably the first ever anti-terror attack that was actually (and inadvertendly) tweeted live. And yes, somebody at Fox News acciently reported that President Obama was dead, but it just a slip of the tongue.

And considering the Friday go-order, you can certainly understand how Obama was so free spirited at the annual White House Correspondents dinner. And while his official birth video didn't go over all that well, I about laughed my fucking balls off as he roasted Donald Trump. Because that fucking asshole gets everything he deserves, including being kicked off stage by the Taiwanese.

My son Cody left this for me as he went to school and I returned home from my shift at the fire dept. Nathan

Ernie, I saw this pic on your site, then came across this on the web. I'm not a conspiracy theorist, and I absolutely believe that the motherfucker is dead, but based on what I see here my guess is that this picture is a fake but is taking off like wildfire across the net. Didn't want to see you fall into the "Look what Ernie posted! How gullible!" crowd. Stay safe, John

Finally Got #1!!! The shirt I wore today was ominous! Jake

Hey Ernie, Love the site. I promised you this a while back. Just thought I would show you how we fight terror. I'm the guy on the right. Take it easy Bro. Chaes

Yep, knew it was fake, didn't care. Now remember this whole thing cultinated from intelligence gather at Guantanamo Bay almost four years ago, so while Obama gets the credit due to the Denny Crane effect -- the name's on the door -- you have to remember that this was the result of a team effort. Plus as we all know that regardless of who is President, the real credit goes to the guys with their boots on the ground and hopefully we'll be able to put this shit to bed for good. So now we'll have to wait and see what comes of all the intelligence gathering as they fawn over the old man's laptop

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