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Ernie's House of Whoopass! May 09, 2011
May 9, 2011

Yeah, I Eat Penis And Don't Tell Anyone. What About It?

So against my better judgement, I went and watched Fast Five this weekend. I mean you pretty much have so, since I've seen all the others up so I'm kind of pot committed at this point. On that note, I wonder is Lucas Black has cut his wrists yet? Anyway, it actually wasn't anywhere near as horrible as I thought it was going to be. Most of the cast from the original film reprised their roles, except for the skinny emo guy (shot in #1) and Michelle Rodriguez (shot in #4). Even the angry guy who got punked out of his Corona made an appearance, although he seems to have eaten quite a few cheeseburgers in his state of depression. The resident eye candy was addressed using a two pronged approach: first there was Gal Gadot, the Israeli swimsuit model who had a brief/unimportant in Fast and Furious as the chick Vin Diesel rescues. Backing her up is Elsa Pataky, a relative unknown who up until now her only brushes with fame were a small role in Snakes on a Plane (she sucked venom out of the little kid's wound) and four years ago when her nude pictures were stolen from Elle by a Spanish magazine called Interviu. Of course with any Fast & Furious movie, you have to check any physics lessons at the theatre door -- Dodge Chargers can not drag around 20,000lb vaults no matter how much nitrous you use -- but if you can do that, the movie is enjoyable.

The Mystery Spot is a tourist attraction located near Santa Cruz, California. It was discovered in 1939 and opened in 1940. The operators of the small site (which is about 150 feet in diameter) claim that it is a place where the laws of physics and gravity do not apply and provide a number of demonstrations in support of these claims. The official website speculates that extraterrestrials buried unearthly metals or a spacecraft beneath the Spot, or that carbon dioxide seeps out of the earth. Another popular speculation is that gravity is affected here, causing nausea and incorrect instrument readings. But in truth, it can all be explained with a little bit of science. Quite unlike the Vin Diesel movie.

Old and busted: using airbags to save your Porsche from rising floodwaters. The new hotness: using rafts to save your handbuilt airplane from rising floodwaters.

I always see these trucks around my area and they make me say FUCK YEAH every time. Even more so this week. Dan

Speaking of foodstuffs (your coffee), That girl Fergie you posted has enough roast beef to end world hunger. Rick

You should watch "Uncle Jack" featuring Gary Sinise - Greg

Last century (ha!) when I was in Civil Air Patrol, we used to volunteer at the 1941 Historical Aircraft Group Museum in Geneseo, New York. At night time we woudl have to 'walk the beat' around the planes and make sure none of the local yokels were fucking with the aircraft after the lights went out. Granted we couldn't do shit -- Thirteenth General Order: Use no force, not show of force in the completion of my duties -- it was literally a, "Stop or I'll say stop again," kind of situation. And while I never found any terrorist trying to blow up 60 year old planes, I did find the PBY Catalina unlocked one night, and I crawled all through that bitch. Evidently they have a B-26 and an F-14 now, but they weren't there back in the day. The closest thing to the real bomber was inside the museum, where they displayed hundreds of photographs of damaged B-17s that somehow managed to return back to base. I remember marvelling at just how much of their airframe could be removed and still manage to remain airworthy. And in case you're curious, the most famour B-17 of all -- the Memphis Belle -- is indeed still airwothy, too. Here are some recent photos.

So an Undie Run may not exactly be a sport, but plenty of these women look so good in their bras and panties, that you have to figure they are exercising on a regular basis, as well as taking part in other athletic activities. And as far as I am concerned, that gives me more than enough of a reason to post a gallery of the 2011 Arizona State Undie Run.

A penile fracture is an injury caused by the rupture of the tunica albuginea, which envelops the corpus cavernosum penis. It is most often caused by a blunt trauma to an erect penis. A popping or cracking sound, significant pain, immediate flaccidity, and skin hematoma of various sizes are commonly associated with the event. Penile fracture is a medical emergency, and emergency surgical repair is the usual treatment. And if you can't handle this photo, you're definitely going to want to skip the WARNING video below. Plus, there's a little esomething extra for you Rick's out there.

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