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Ernie's House of Whoopass! May 24, 2011
May 24, 2011

I Can Think Of Two Reasons Why The 90's Rocked.

Okay, one downside to the scooter. Sure, it's 1 gallon gas tank and 95 mpg efficiency are great. But when it comes time for the rear tire to be replaced, it's $55 fucking dollars. What the fuck? Hey times are still tough out there. People are still struggling to find work, and those that can't are forced to sell some of their belongings just to keep food on the table. So I have to say the people posting ads on Craigslist sure have stepped up their game lately. Anyone need a picnic table with a navy blue umbrella? No? Then perhaps you can give this little black kitten a new home? That last one is kind of, well, you know.

At 8mpg, the most recent vehicle to be customized as the presidential car is a GMC Topkick-based, Cadillac-badged limousine often referred to as Cadillac One and occasionally as Limo One (a reference to the U.S. presidential aircraft, Air Force One) or as The Beast. It carries a $300,000 price tag and curb weight certainly exceeds 10,000 pounds thanks to all the armoring: it is bullet proof, bomb proof, fire proof, electromagnetic-pulse proof, chemical agent proof, and biological agent proof. But it is not curb-proof.

Ern, want to get a good idea of just how fast people can go from normal to walking dead? If you haven't already read this, You should. "ONE SECOND AFTER" By William R. Forstchen. It's out in paperback. It's about the aftermath of a space detonated nuclear bomb which generates a powerful EMP and destroys all electronic and electrical systems in North America. Damned scary stuff, specially since the technology already exists and very likely the devices as well. I'll be sure to check your site tomorrow, if no new post, I will assume you were raptured so I'll come down and take care of the dogs. Good Luck, Steve

Hey ther Big Ern (insert ass kissing comment here). I know she hasn't done any topless scenes in movies yet, but a while ago, she did a piece for New Yorlk magazine. In it, she decided to pose bot topless, and as Marilyn Monroe. She does indeed have a fantastic pair of chesticles. Here is the link to the site. It is spam free, I have checked it in Firefox 4 with both Avast and Hitman pro. Derek

Eh, I'm waiting for something more on the full on completely unobstructed frontal view, not the kinda-sorta-i-guess-that-sorta-could-be-interpreted-as-her-nipple stuff she's done already. Speaking of interpreting, "la mejor carne Argentina" translates to "The best meat in Argentina." I dunno. Maybe it's the accents. Maybe it's the carefree attitude. But there's definitely something about European women that drives us all crazy.

Tipping your dealer won't make you a big winner on your next trip to Sin City, but it will make your time at the tables as enjoyable as possible. Of course, casinos have rules for just about everything, so you should know how and when to tip the dealers.

Being two hours away from Joplin, I have friends there. I just received an e-mail from their family stating that their son and grandson were returning from some type of Graduation ceremony when the 'tarnadoe' hit. The son was found 100 yards from the car he was driving, with broken bones and facial lacerations, and the 18 year old grandson (along with several other people) is STILL missing. Could this be an arguement for the Rapture?? Dan

You know, it's kinda funny -- in a weird way, not in a haha way -- that I can kinda relate. When I first moved down here, I thought it would be so fucking cool to go through a hurricane. You know, just like you see on tv - the howling wind beating rain against the windows, the whole house creaking in 140mph gusts, street signs whipping down the road. And then, I actually did go through one. And life and limb aside, you realize that if your lanai gets destroyed or of your roof blows off, it's your shit that's getting destroyed -- not somebody's on television. So that's when you start fortifying your shit and now I'm quite content in the hurricane-free existance I've been enjoying, thank you very much. Good luck.

And for those of you not cool enough to have completed all four stages of the Duke Nuke'Em challenge -- I had a lot of trouble with Rosie and her M-16 -- here are the four lovely ladies of Duke Nuke'Em Forever. Hail to the King, baby.

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