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Ernie's House of Whoopass! June 17, 2011

June 17, 2011

Next Time, Dinner At 5pm Means Dinner At 5pm.

Wow, you fucking Canucks sure do take your hockey seriously, don't you? But warranted or not, whatchagonnado? Whatchagonnadowhentheycomeforyou?

Okay, current status on Ernie Cam! I've broken up the archives to 36 pics (4 columns x 9 rows) per page, so everything loads a shit load faster. I've also implemented a rudimentary tagging system, which in truth, culls the photos out based upon their particular timestamp. This worked quite well in some cases (adopting Bianca, the Daytona Bike Week and Hurricane Wilma) -- but ended up grabbing a few unrelated photos in other galleries (meeting Bruce Campbell, selling Earl in Orlando, and my trip to Las vegas). The main set of tags is available on the front page, and hopefully I'll neaten it up this weekend. I know, famous last words, right?

Who's the best? I'm the best. Who's the best? You're the best! Around! Nothing's gonna ever keep you down. You're the Best! Around! Nothing's gonna ever keep you down. You're the Best! Around! Nothing's gonna ever keep you dow-ow-ow-ow-own. Sorry I was smoking some meth and jamming out to some 80's movie montages. Yeah, get him a bodybag!

Been reading your website forever and it was crazy to see something out of my tiny ass hometown.... well, sorta. I grew up in Payson, AZ and Star Valley is right down the street. I've been inside of Pete's Place exactly once. I actually took two girls I went to high school with when I went back for my 10 year reunion, it was um, interesting. Anyway, you noted that there wasn't much for street view but I wanted to point out that you had your address wrong. There actually is street view for that place. Feast your eyes! If you flip the view around and look North East (ish), there is a tree in the background, just to the right of the "Tree Pro" truck. I actually built a treehouse in that fucker when I was a kid. Hoorah for small towns! Matt

While we're exchanging pictures of where we live, I'm in Florida so here's a photo of a retired couple enjoying a walk on the beach.

The Council of Fashion Designers of America hosted their 10th annual awards show at the Alice Tully Hall in New York City, and all eyes were on the newest addition to the "Screaming Hot MILF Society", Miranda Kerr. Think little black dress. Little.

Hey Ernie, I know I promised never to write you again but your Sara Palin rant changed all that (yes, I still check your site, frequently). Being from Taxachusitts you have forfeited all your political criticism free speech rights. Anyone from a state that for over thirty years sent "Chappaquiddick" Ted Kennedy back to the Senate after killing a young girl out of drunken, irresponsible stupidity is not allowed to comment on politics. So please STFU. Thank you in advance. Your friend, Mike.

Dear Mike, you are a Grade-A Number-1 Asshole. Your friend, Ernie

The bad news is that there are 100 DJ Jazzy Jeffs for every Fresh Prince. That's just the world we live in. If you are wondering which one you are, stop -- you're a DJ Jazzy Jeff. Just trust me on this. The good news is that we live in the Internet age of seemingly limitless possibilities -- a golden age of endless means of communication and self promotion. As a result, the chances of an everyman (you) landing a beautiful woman from the wide world of sports have never been greater. This doesn't mean you have a good chance, but your odds might be higher than you think if you keep a few things in mind. 1. Aim high, but not too high. Essentially you need to find a target somewhere between Anna Kournikova and someone in the WNBA. 2. If looks are your top priority you're probably going to have to make sacrifices in at least one of the following categories: sanity, emotional well being, youth, rungs on the social ladder, or a high school education. To give you a little perspective, I've assembled a list of women from all over the sports map, some of whom you actually may have a shot at taking home to meet mom this Christmas. Bonus points for Anna Benson and Jennifer Tilly.

Science time: This animation shows the geocentric phase, libration, position angle of the axis, and apparent diameter of the Moon throughout the year 2011, at hourly intervals. What, were you expecting tits, tits, and more tits?

top ten dunks of nba finals

"sometimes, i wish i died in iraq." WOW.

how nasa prepares for the final space shuttle launch

candice swanepoel exposes her nipple in menstyle magazine

ten quick pics: 10 pictures of hugh hefner with his ~~women~~ centerfolds

eating boogers and saving baby birds. what else do you think orangutans do all day?