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Ernie's House of Whoopass! August 8, 2011
August 8, 2011

I Killed A Lot Of Germans, And I Am Only Sorry I Didn't Kill More.

One of the most highly decorated Allied secret agents of World War II, Nancy Wake, has died in London aged 98. Born in New Zealand but raised in Australia, she is credited with helping hundreds of Allied personnel escape from occupied France. The German Gestapo named her the "White Mouse" because she was so elusive. Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard said Mrs Wake was "a truly remarkable individual whose selfless valour and tenacity will never be forgotten". "Nancy Wake was a woman of exceptional courage and resourcefulness whose daring exploits saved the lives of hundreds of Allied personnel and helped bring the Nazi occupation of France to an end," Ms Gillard said in a statement.

Working as a journalist in Europe, she interviewed Adolf Hitler in Vienna in 1933 and then vowed to fight against his persecution of Jews. After the fall of France in 1940, Mrs Wake became a French Resistance courier and later a saboteur and spy - setting up escape routes and sabotaging German installations, saving hundreds of Allied lives. She worked for British Special Operations and was parachuted into France in April 1944 before D-Day to deliver weapons to French Resistance fighters. At one point, she was top of the Gestapo's most wanted list. "Freedom is the only thing worth living for. While I was doing that work, I used to think it didn't matter if I died, because without freedom there was no point in living," Wake once said of her wartime exploits. It was only after the liberation of France that she learned her husband, French businessman Henri Fiocca, had been tortured and killed by the Gestapo for refusing to give her up. "I have only one thing to say: I killed a lot of Germans, and I am only sorry I didn't kill more," she once said.

She was Australia's most decorated servicewoman, and one of the most decorated Allied servicewomen of World War II. France awarded her its highest honor, the Legion D'Honneur; she also received Britain's George Medal, and the US Medal of Freedom. In 2004, she was made Companion of the Order of Australia. She returned to Australia in 1949, where she failed several times to win a seat in parliament. In 1957 she went back to England, where she married RAF fighter pilot John Forward. Wake died in London. She had been a resident at a nursing home for retired forces personnel since 2003. She is expected to be cremated and her ashes spread in Montlucon in central France, the scene of much of her heroism.

Nothing to see here, just a woman with a whale penis in her hands, showing how amazing it is. Ewwwwwwww.

Nothing to see here, just a grizzly bear attacking a man, and nearly biting his leg off. Eeeeeeeeek!

Nothing to see here, just a kitten with a broken leg in a cast, crawling under a door. Awwwwwwww.

Nothing to see here, just a ferocious pitbull attacking a helpless kitten, which tries in vain to fight back. Ooooooooh!

Touching back on that Matt Damon video, contrary to the view of him as a dumbass, Matt Damon is actually quite smart. Sure, he's got a chip on his shoulder, but even his love of starring in bad action movies doesn't diminish the head he's got on his shoulders. Keep in mind that him and Affleck wrote the script for Good Will Hunting, including that scene about the Revolutionary War. You might not agree with him on many things, but there's no arguing that this Masshole is wicked smaht.

Men love women in golf shirts and tennis skirts. At some point between the time Hugh Hefner got into the publishing game and Madonna started cavorting around in see-through clothing, someone decided that the best way to market women's sports to men would not be "on the merits," so to speak, but rather by having the female athletes pose in sexy magazines and appear on television shows in ordinary, sexy outfits. But when it comes to tennis and golf, there is no need. Tennis and golf uniforms bring the sexy. But which sport brings the sexy more? Let's have a look at the sexiest female golfers and tennis players, and you be the judge.

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