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Ernie's House of Whoopass! August 11, 2011
August 11, 2011

London Calling + Burning Down The House = ???.

From the Yeah-My-Saiga-Shotgun-Ain't-So-Ludicrous-Now-Is-It Department: Operation Withern is investigating the serious disorder and violence that has been affecting parts of London. Operation Withern's priority is to bring to justice those who have committed violent and criminal acts. As the detailed and thorough investigation progresses we will be issuing photographs of people we want to speak with. If anyone recognises individuals in these photographs or has any information about the violence and disorder that has occurred they should contact the Major Investigation Team on 020 8345 4142. Alternatively anyone can report crime and provide information anonymously to Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111.

Anyone else remember the movie Brewster's Millions, where Richard Pryor had to spend $30 million dollars in 30 days in order to inheirit his true fortune of $300 million? Remember that scene where the Iceberg Guy tries to sell Brewster on some cockamaime idea to tow icebergs to the Middle East and sell them for drinking water? Yeah, and you wonder why we're in a global financial crisis right now.

Listen, call me fickle but I can't possibly understand how a room full of women wearing sports bras and using the shake weight, can be considered a bad thing.

Oh, and a little bit of Willy Wonka and Chocolate Factory trivia: This movie was shot in Munich, Germany, but the producers had to go outside of Germany to recruit enough little people to play the Oompa Loompas (one of the many tragic legacies of the Nazi era). Many of the people cast as Oompa Loompas did not speak English fluently, if at all. This is why some appear to not know the words to songs during the musical numbers.

Hi Ernster, I know you have linked to Cracked before so maybe you have seen this but I found it to be an entertaining read so I thought I would pass it along in case you missed it. (highly unlikely since we all know you are omniscient) Best line in the article comes at the end: "Everything we know is wrong. If those of us raised on action movies have to fend off a Red Dawn-style invasion, it's going to be a total clusterfuck." Cheers! Jay

You know, I have to admit that I fell for that supressor shit, too. All I knew abour suppressors -- they're not silencers as Hollywood would have you believe, but sound suppressors -- was from what I saw at the movies. So for years shit, all I knew is you slap on a "silencer" and your gun went "pfft!" The reality is more like this in real life. And that "silenced" shotgun that dude used in No Country For Old Men? That was a 12 gauge, which is about five times powerful as this .410 gauge shotgun. So you guess how "silent" it would have been. So don't be a fucking retard and go ask for one just because you saw it in a movie.

Hey what do River Phoenix, Layne Staley, Mitch Hedberg and King George V of Great Britain have in common? That's right. They all died from a speedball overdose.

Oh and just a quick reminder. Kayaking around small lakes and canals is one thing, but if you're going to kayak out in the open water, you really should wear some sort of a life vest.

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sports hotties we want to see in 3d. i dunno man, kim kardashian might be dangerous

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