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Ernie's House of Whoopass! August 12, 2011
August 12, 2011

Here's A Story, And It's True.

Stalag Luft III was a Luftwaffe-run prisoner-of-war camp during World War II that housed captured air force servicemen. It was in the German Province of Lower Silesia near the town of Sagan (now Zagan in Poland), about 100 miles southeast of Berlin. The site was selected because it would be difficult to escape by tunnelling. However, the camp is best known for two famous prisoner escapes that took place there by tunnelling, which were depicted in the films The Great Escape (1963) and The Wooden Horse. In the Spring of 1943, Squadron Leader Roger Bushell RAF conceived a plan for a major escape from the camp, which occurred the night of March 24–25, 1944. Bushell was held in the North Compound where British airmen were housed. He was in command of the Escape Committee and channeled the effort into probing for weaknesses and looking for opportunities. Falling back on his legal background to represent his scheme, Bushell called a meeting of the Escape Committee and not only shocked those present with its scope, but injected into every man a passionate determination to put their every energy into the escape. He declared, "Everyone here in this room is living on borrowed time. By rights we should all be dead! The only reason that God allowed us this extra ration of life is so we can make life hell for the Hun... In North Compound we are concentrating our efforts on completing and escaping through one master tunnel. No private-enterprise tunnels allowed. Three bloody deep, bloody long tunnels will be dug - Tom, Dick, and Harry. One will succeed!" The simultaneous digging of these tunnels would become an advantage if any one of them was discovered by the Germans, because the guards would scarcely imagine that another two could be well underway. The most radical aspect of the plan was not merely the scale of the construction, but the sheer number of men that Bushell intended to pass through these tunnels. Previous attempts had involved the escape of anything up to a dozen or twenty men, but Bushell was proposing to get in excess of 200 out, all of whom would be wearing civilian clothes and possessing a complete range of forged papers and escape equipment. It was an unprecedented undertaking and would require unparalleled organization. As the mastermind of the Great Escape, Roger Bushell inherited the codename of "Big X". The tunnel Tom began in a darkened corner of a hall in one of the buildings. Dick's entrance was carefully hidden in a drain sump in one of the washrooms. The entrance to Harry was hidden under a stove. More than 600 prisoners were involved in their construction.

To prevent Germans from infiltrating the prisoner population, newcomers to the camp had to be personally vouched for by two existing POWs who knew the prisoner by sight. Anyone who failed this requirement was severely interrogated and assigned a rota of POWs who had to escort him at all times until he was deemed to be genuine. Several infiltrators were discovered by this method, and none are known to have escaped detection in Luft III. The German guards were referred to as "Goons" and, unaware of the western connotation, willingly accepted the nickname after being told it stood for "German Officer Or Non-Com". German guards were followed everywhere they went by prisoners who used an elaborate system of signals to warn others of their location. The guards' movements were then carefully recorded in a logbook kept by an assigned rota of officers. Unable to effectively stop what the prisoners called the "Duty Pilot" system the Germans allowed it to continue and on one occasion the book was used by Kommandant von Lindeiner to bring charges against two guards who had slunk away from duty several hours early.

Of 76 escapees, 73 were captured. Hitler initially wanted the escapees to be shot as an example to other prisoners, as well as Commandant von Lindeiner, the architect who designed the camp, the camp's security officer and the guards on duty at the time. Hermann Göring, Field Marshal Keitel, Major-General Westhoff and Major-General von Graevenitz, who was head of the department in charge of prisoners of war, all argued against any executions as a violation of the Geneva Conventions. Hitler eventually relented and instead ordered Himmler to execute more than half of the escapees. Himmler passed the selection on to General Artur Nebe. Fifty were executed, singly or in pairs. Roger Bushell, the leader of the escape, was shot by Gestapo official Emil Schulz just outside Saarbrücken, Germany. Jack Harrison, who was one of the 200 men of the Great Escape, died June 4, 2010, at the age of 97. There are believed to be only three prisoners alive as of November 2010 who worked directly on the Great Escape project, as opposed to those selected for making the escape. Two remaining known escape survivors are still alive today, John R. Harris RCAF and Ken Rees RAF, a tunneller/digger who was in the tunnel when the escape was discovered and who now lives in North Wales. His book is called Lie in the Dark and Listen.

Anyway, I sat that sat here for a good five minutes to try and think up a good intro for this video, and the best I can come up with is male pole dancing. Trust me when I tell you that it's worth a few minutes of your time and no, before you ask, I don't eat penis.

Dog Walks Itself. HILARIOUS! Thank You, Matin

Hi Ernie- Ran across one I thought you'd enjoy - "Watch the whole video; it is a bit of a shocker when you learn who this guy is and how he was raised. Coolest car on earth!" Cheers, Mike, SSI,GA

It turns out Airman Sugar Tits is actually Staff Sgt. Annie Johnson with the 571st Air Force Band, 131st Bomb Wing, Air National Guard. Their band is called Sidewinder. They're on tour to entertain U.S. military personnel in the Middle East. Just thought you'd like to know. Raymond

See, now I feel like a douchebag for calling her Airman Sugar Tits -- which is very unlike how Major Michael Harlow feels. Just to show that there are good people -- and raging douchebags -- from each religion, watch this video, which caused quite an uproar when it originally happened afew years ago. Here's a followup interview that was filmed a year or so later. Now Mohammad Sohail, good guy, right? Per a facebook fan page it seems the poor bastsrd died on August 27, 2010, but pay particular attention to the comments left by today's Douchebag of The Year, Jessica Graves. Kind of makes you think, doesn't it?

The 2011 College Football Season draws near, which means that one of our greatest traditions draws near as well: College cheerleaders. Cheerleaders bring us spirit, fun chants, fancy dance moves, acrobatic leaps, pom-poms, fashionable uniforms, weird triangle-based formations, and conversations revolving around male cheerleaders that ultimately end with someone saying, "Listen, that guy gets to hang out with cheerleaders—he's cool with me." All of the above is why we love cheerleaders. I can't think of any other reason why college cheerleaders are so popular with sports fans.

I wonder what will piss feminists off more, the fact that Ashley Hobbs is naked, or that she's doing laundry.

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