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Ernie's House of Whoopass! August 16, 2011
August 16, 2011

You Know, I Put A Dollar In, I Got A Car. I Put A Dollar In, I Got A Car.

Well, one more week until ye old annual vacation. Only there won't be any swimming in the St Regis river for me this year. Nope this year I'm from Yuma, Arizona, I'm into software, and I'm going to press it because I'm a shooter. That's right. I'm Nick Pappagiorgio. So this time next week I'll be at the the Rock, Paper, Sciccors table with Clark. No I didn't go for some 5-star pimpin hotel, there will be kids abound so we opted for something that could provide both a little entertainment and a central location -- but my guess is I won't be at the hotel much anyway since I've got a To-Do list as long as my arm. You see Pops is moving back to New York from Arizona, so this will probably be the last Stewart gathering in Vegas for quite some time.

From the This-Is-Why-We-Hate-Celebrities Department: Ashton Kutcher is banking close to $1,000,000 an episode on the soon to be revived Two and a Half Men -- I'm getting in my it's-doomed-to-fail prediction in now -- but I suppose it's only fitting his on locationcrib would be just as pimpalicious. For the low low price of just $8750/week, Florida-based Anderson Mobile Estates was happy to provide Kutcher with "Baby Girl," a tricked-out 30-ton rig that boasts 1100 square feet on two stories with a conference room, two bathrooms, a living room, a kitchen with granite counters, seven 60-inch plasma TVs, and a metric shit ton of other stuff. And just for the record, I would live on that second floor.

In the American pole vaulting arena, Allison Stokke seems to get all the attention. But worldwide, she's not my top choice by any means. Now I'm not going to try to convince you I'd kick her out of bed but my number one spot belongs to Russian pole vaulter, Yelena Isinbayeva. She currently holds the women's pole vaulting world record -- 5.06 meters, or just over 16 fucking feet and 7 inches. In addition to having a body that looks like it's been chiseled from stone, Yelena has both a Bachelor's and Master's Degree after graduating from the Volgograd State Academy of Physical Culture. Currently she is continuing her post-graduate studies there, and at the Donetsk National Technical University. She was an officer in the Russian army, having attained the rank of senior lieutenant in August 2005, and then captain three years later. Oh, and her backdoor looks like this. So whether we are talking about Stokke, or Italian runner Sara Galimberti, or Paraguayan javelin thrower Leryn Franco, there is certainly no shortage of sexy star power in the world of track & field these days.

And I'm wicked late posting these, but in regards to the Liberty Belle's emergency landing and ensuing fire that I linked back on June 14th, Joel had this to offer...

Hey Ernie, I had to see the pic of the nose art to realize that was the SAME plane that came through Birmingham. I've attached a few pics. I'm fortunate to have seen her up close. Best, Joel

I think what's hardest thing to swallow about the Liberty Belle incident is after the forced landing, the fire was still relatively small and could have been extinguished, had the local fire department felt crazy enough to drive over -- OMG -- a soft field! "Unlike the sensational photos that you have all seen of the completely burned B-17 on the news, you will see from photos taken by our crew that our Liberty Belle was undamaged by the forced landing and at the time of landing, the wing fire damage was relatively small. The crew actually unloaded bags, then had the horrible task of watching the aircraft slowly burn while waiting for the fire trucks to arrive. There were high hopes that the fire would be extinguished quickly and the damage would be repairable. Those hopes were diminished as the fire trucks deemed the field too soft to cross due to the area’s recent rainfall. So while standing by our burning B-17 and watching the fire trucks parked at the field’s edge, they sadly watched the wing fire spread to the aircraft’s fuel cells and of course, you all have seen the end result. There is no doubt that had the fire equipment been able to reach our aircraft, the fire would have been quickly extinguished and our Liberty Belle would have been repaired to continue her worthwhile mission." So your trucks get stuck and have to be towed out -- yippee skip.

Just so you know, when the warning flags are up, this beach is closed to the public.

Hey Ernie, OPE = Other Peoples Enjoyment. It's most commonly associated with the Dominance/submissive and bondage scene. Its pretty much objectifying a person, usually submissive, while respecting the subby's boundaries. While objectified, the subby, under the Dom's control, is fucked, used and abused by multiple parties. Or, I could be wrong. Also, the sexy clown chick -- I saw her on eFukt. Woody

Huh. You learn new things every day, eh? And here I thought it might have something to do with OPP, which I suppose it kind of does.

Do you remember me mentioning the famous "I Smell A Rat" scene from The Departed, and how all of Jack Nicholson's lines were completely adlibbed? Yep, DiCaprio had a set script and Nicholson knew what Leo's lines were going to be, but Martin Scorsese gave Jack free reign to make up whatever dialogue he wanted. Nicholson did something very similar 26 years earlier with his famous/creepy Here's Johnny! scene in The Shining.

Awww, how cute! This girl keeps a picture of her baby on the nightstand by her bed.

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