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Ernie's House of Whoopass! August 17, 2011
August 17, 2011

Believe It Or Not, I'm Walking On Air.

Well, if I can wrangle up the balls this time, I'm going to jump off the 829 foot Stratosphere this time. Of course I say that now, with my feet firmly planted on terra firma. Get my fat ass up to the 108th floor, and we'll see how my nerves of steel are doing. I suppose it all depends on if they'll let you jump while you're shitfaced or not. What's that, you say? From their FAQ: "Is there a bar nearby? Of course. We wouldn't expect you to contemplate a 108-story jump without the aid of some liquid courage." So booze is not only allowed, but encouraged. Excellent! But the people I really give credit to is the bunch of guys who installed this platform. Those motherfuckers must have balls of solid tungsten.

The symbol of a yellow ribbon became widely known in civilian life in the 1970s as a reminder that an absent loved one, either in the military or in jail, would be welcomed home on their return. During the Iran hostage crisis, the yellow ribbon was used a symbol of support for the hostages held at the U.S. embassy in Tehran. The yellow ribbon saw renewed popularity in the United States during the Gulf War in the early 1990s. It appeared along with the slogan "support our troops", in the form of yellow ribbons tied to trees, and countless other contexts. I am however, unsure what tying a red ribbon stands for.

Ernie, I bought that 71 Eldorado Convertible from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Photos will follow next week, after I make sure it runs. Joep>

This is what happens when you fall asleep in the front row of a comedy club. Thank you, Matin

Would you believe George Lucas actually tried to sue the producers of a Japanese porn movie because he thought people might associate it with his own work. Star Ballz, a low budget Japanese hentai parody, was released in 2001 in complete obscurity — until LucasArts sued Media Market Group in an attempt to prevent it from being distributed. But since the Lucas lost his court case, viewers can still watch Star Ballz and enjoy scenes such as phallic lightsaber fights and annoying frog alien Jar-Jar Binks getting it on with a crudely drawn robot. Honestly, even watching the Star Wars Holiday Special is probably better than that piece of shit.

Silicone rubber is a rubber-like material composed of silicone—itself a polymer—containing silicon together with carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen. Silicone rubbers are widely used in industry, and there are multiple formulations. Silicone rubber is generally non-reactive, stable, and resistant to extreme environments and temperatures from ?55 °C to +300 °C while still maintaining its useful properties. Due to these properties and its ease of manufacturing and shaping, silicone rubber can be found in a wide variety of products, including: automotive applications; cooking, baking, and food storage products; apparel such as undergarments, sportswear, and footwear; protective covers for mobile electronics; medical devices and implants; and in home repair and hardware with products such as silicone sealants.

seeing one of my friends in your thumbnails today tripped me out, the fsu blonde dressed as an indian. scott

I'm a very big fan of boxing, but I think it's safer to say that I'm a much bigger fan of these gorgeous women dressed like Indians like boxers. This is just like hot, naked, pillow fights, but they're wearing boxing gloves.

Maybe your 10-year-old kid decides one day it would be funny if he tossed some spit wads at the kid in the front row of the classroom, or to stuff a classmate into a locker. Of course, your kid may get caught and face a reprimand. Maybe he would have to spend some time in detention. Maybe he'd have to see the principal. Or maybe he'd have to pay a $500 fine. Wait, what? Schools in, yes, Texas, and other areas of the country have taken to having campus police write tickets to students for everything ranging from creating disturbances in class to cursing and fighting. Now, this might make some kind of sense if most of the between 4,000 and 6,000 students who were ticketed since 2005 were high schoolers. After all, high school kids are almost adults, and the bad stuff they do is probably more along the lines of fighting and vandalism than making faces at a teacher. But that isn't the case. Many of the tickets are being written for elementary school kids, such as the 92 criminal citations given to 10-year-olds in Dallas in 2006 and 2007. Several districts ticketed kids as young as 6.

they call me zeus, because i'm god of the gods. you know what else i'm the god of? awesome.

nate and nick's dad is a complete asshole

old and busted: soldier greeted by chase bank. the new hotness: airman greeted by dumptruck

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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