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Ernie's House of Whoopass! August 23, 2011
August 23, 2011

What Am I Doing In Vegas? I'm TCB, Baby. Takin' Care of Business.

Dear new gun owners: pay close attention to this and you'll thank me later when you don't shoot your cock off during a beer run. You're welcome.

Dos Equis XX Lager is very typical inwhat one might expect from a Mexican style beer. It poured from its green glass bottle in a very clear and pale golden color and creating a half inch or so, of a bubbly white head that was gone in the blink of an eye. This beer smelled mildly sweet, slightly grainy, but not much else. This Mexican beer was definitely on the thin side, which is a hinderance to someone who loves a full bodied robust beer like I do, but is very popular among female beer drinkers who prefer the milder taste. And here's a curious note: Brazil is the world's fourth largest market for beer with over 88 million barrels produced in 2010. Maybe I'll try something from Brazil next?

Windsurfing or sailboarding is a surface water sport that combines elements of surfing and sailing. It consists of a board usually two to four metres long, powered by the orthogonal effect of the wind on a sail. The rig is connected to the board by a free-rotating universal joint and comprises a mast, wishbone boom and sail. A windsurfing sail is made of a clear polyester film, woven polyester and mylar. Sensitive parts are reinforced with kevlar mesh. The sail area ranges from less than 3 square meters to more than 12, depending on the conditions, the skill of the sailor and the type of windsurfing being undertaken.

In woodworking, veneer refers to thin slices of wood, usually thinner than 3 mm (1/8 inch), that are typically glued onto core panels to produce flat panels such as doors, tops and panels for cabinets, parquet floors and parts of furniture. Plywood consists of three or more layers of veneer, each glued with its grain at right angles to adjacent layers for strength. Veneer beading is a thin layer of decorative edging placed around objects, such as jewelry boxes.

FIFA rules dictate a regulation football (soccer ball to use Yanks), is: spherical, made of leather or other suitable material, of a circumference of not more than 70 cm (28 ins) and not less than 68 cm (27 ins), not more than 450g (16 oz) in weight and not less than 410g (14 oz) at the start of the match, of a pressure equal to 0.6 – 1.1 atmosphere (600 – 1100 g/cm 2 ) at sea level (8.5 lbs/sq in to 15.6 lbs/sq in). Since there are no regulations dictating ball color or design, for all I know this is quite possibly an FIFA regulation foot ball. Anyway, 2010 has been a remarkable one in regards to world football. It has been the year of Spain finally achieving World Cup glory in South Africa. It has been the year of perhaps the biggest USA goal since 1950. It has been the year of Messi, of Ronaldo, of Iniesta. It has been the year of Inter Milan once again capturing Champions League glory. But, perhaps, most of all, 2010 has been the year of the WAG. From British cheating scandals involving some of the nation's top players to Sara Carbonero to Larissa Riquelme, soccer players' wives and girlfriends have been the topics of stories from all walks of media, from the tabloids to Sports Illustrated.

Gas up the car and bring your lawn chair. Sunday is National Go Topless Day. List of participating cities at this link. Jon

Hi Ernie, I've been a long time fan of your page. You seem to blend humor so well with truth, and even seriousness. I am forwarding you a submission I wrote for NPR's This American Life. No viruses I promise. They never got back to me, and it's been over a year. The submission was done to try and help someone. I wish the story here was fiction, but it isn't. The subject of this story is one of my best friends and what has happened to his life is just plain unfair and sad. I am submitting this to you to see if you have any interest in posting to your site as an effort to generate media interest and maybe somehow perhaps help my friend. The names have been changed to protect him. Do with it what you like. The article is called The Nuclear Accusation. Yours truly, Lance

Sea urchins or urchins are small, spiny, globular animals which, with their close kin, such as sand dollars, constitute the class Echinoidea of the echinoderm phylum. They inhabit all oceans. Their shell, or "test", is round and spiny, typically from 3 to 10 centimetres (1.2 to 3.9 in) across. Common colors include black and dull shades of green, olive, brown, purple, and red. The fact that the spines are covered, in whole or in part, with living epidermis in most urchins has an important implication for their care, by the way. If you have a sea urchin, and it starts to lose or "drop" spines, that animal is in very serious and probably non-recoverable trouble. Each dropped or lost spine represents an open wound on the surface of the animal. While one or two spines may be lost from time to time, the wholesale loss of spines results from malnutrition or disease and leaves the surface of the body open for massive infection. Such an occurrence generally represents a terminal condition. The urchin typically dies within a few days of when it starts to drop spines. Tourists will often collect dead sea urchins to dry out and use as decorations.

Here's a little bit of trivia so send a few shivers down your spine: during her American Idol audition, Carrie Underwood admitted to have had a third nipple which looked like a mole. And while American Idol isn't quite the cultural juggernaut it once was, especially with 2/3 of the original judging cast now replaced with sort of bizarre choices, but there's something American Idol is still good for: extremely hot contestants.

11 reasons why weddings are dumb

a kitten survives fifty-minute spin in washing machine

mit makes the top 50 colleges in america. how ya like them apples?

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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