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Like Any Other Candidate Would Even Stand A Chance.

You know that thing I do where I get a picture of a naked chick with a sign behind her written in a foreign language, and then post it with the translation? Yeah I can't do that for signs that aren't written in the English alphabet, so I'm gonna need a little help from my Southeastern Asian friends for this one. What is that, Chinese? Korean? Thai?

But I Do My Best Not To, Honest.

I did my best to get this post up by 10:35am, but no luck. Sorry.

Insert Your Favorite Labor Day Weekend Joke Here.

Oh, My God! Someone's Blondy Bear Is A 20-question Genius.

Remember me fawning about how Charisma Carpenter (aka Cordelia Chase) posed for Playboy back in 2004? Well so did Mercedes McNab (the ditzy blonde, Harmony Kendall) and I never thought I would say this but, Charisma Carpenter who? And how could I not see this until five years after the fact?

Guilty As Charged.

The tolerance paradox arises from a problem that a tolerant person might be antagonistic toward intolerance, hence intolerant of it. The tolerant individual would then be by definition intolerant of intolerance. This problem is at the heart of the dilemma faced by pluralist societies who wish to embrace diversity, but in doing so ostensibly exclude those who do not embrace diversity, which includes a large portion of the world's population. - Wikipedia

If You Didn't Love Putin Before, You Will Now.

A handshake is a short ritual in which two people grasp one of each other's like hands, in most cases accompanied by a brief up and down movement of the grasped hands. In many cultures it is believed that shaking hands passes positive energy and tactile experience received by the man lately. On a related note, Vladimir Putin gets my vote for President of the World.

Filmmakers Chose Those Colors Because The Flag Of Scotland is Blue and White.

Aye, fight and you may die. Run, and you'll live... at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take... OUR MOJITOS! thanks Kyle!

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

Time Flies Whan You're Having Fun, Eh?

As a kid -- somewhere around the age of seven or eight I think -- the Stewart clan made a trip to New York City. I really don't remember much of it. Well, two things actually. One was a black guy walking down the sidewalk with no shirt on, but had fashioned two half-orange peels into bikini cups. Dunno why I remember that. But the second was a trip to the Twin Towers. We didn't go into them or even to their observation decks, it was just a trip to them. I remember the sense of awe when you encounter something really enormous in life. I walked up to the nearer of the two towers and reached my hand out to it. I didn't expect to touch it, but rather to get shoo'ed away by a security guard or yanked back my my mom, or shit even to get zapped by some electronic security device. I mean there was no way they would let a common boy such as me touch something so fucking awesome right? The steel was cold on my fingertips and much to my amazement, felt like any other piece of metal I had ever held. I glanced upwards a little bit and saw the metal pattern continued up, and, up, and up, and up. It never changed. What it looked and felt like right down here at elementary school student level must be exactly what it looked and felt like way up at the top. I pushed my head up against the side and closed one eye, as if I were aiming a BB gun. The flat plane of that tower extended as far as my eye could see and it actually quite disorienting. I pulled my head back with a startled, 'huh'. And that was it. That was the only interaction I had with the twin towers in my whole life. It makes me sad to think I'll never have the chance to do that again.

Jim Henson Predicted the Future Back In 1976.

Fresh baked bread doesn't stay fresh for long. Have you ever gotten freshly baked bread early in the day to be used for your evening meal? I've got a tip that will help you keep it fresh until dinnertime that my friend Donna gave to me years ago. Put it in your microwave for the day. A microwave is airtight when it's closed. It works as well as a breadbox. By putting your bakery bread or rolls in there, they will remain fresher than leaving them on the counter. You could put them in the refrigerator and take them out to come to room temperature before dinner, but I find that the refrigerator tends to dry out fresh bread. My kitchen counter top doesn't have room for a breadbox. In fact, it doesn't have room for much. By using my microwave as a temporary breadbox, I keep my bakery bread fresh, and I keep my counters less cluttered.

Well That's A Hell A Lot More Useful Than The Whaaaambulance.

The disposable or single-use camera is a simple box camera sold with a roll of film installed, meant to be used once. Most use focus free lenses. Some are equipped with an integrated flash unit, and there are even waterproof versions for underwater photography. Internally, the cameras use a 135 film or an APS cartridge. In general the one-time-use camera represents a return to the business model pioneered by Kodak for their KODAK camera, predecessor to the Brownie camera; they are particularly popular with tourists, and in situations where a reusable camera would be easily stolen or damaged, when one's regular camera is forgotten, or if one cannot afford a regular camera.

Mr. Sulu, Get Us Out Of Here. Spock? Wake Me Up When We Get There.

So scientists have recently discovered sixteen "super-Earths", far outside of our Milky Way, including one planet that holds a chance at sustaining life. "One of these planets in particular could theoretically be home to life if conditions are right. It's called HD85512b, and scientists say it's about 3.6 times the mass of the Earth. This planet is about 35 light years from Earth." So I thought to myself, hmmm, why don't we just drop on in and say hello. So ignoring the fact that our terrestrial born scientists who have repeatedly said warp speed is deadly, let's allow our imaginations to run wild for a minute, shall we?

What Did You Expect For Five Grand, Agent 47?

On the local front, this story of a woman who tried to hire a hitman to kill her husband has been all over the news lately. I think this lady deserves to go to jail not only for trying to have her husband killed, but for complete and utter stupidity. From the article, she was arrested in a 2011 Audi convertible -- Audi has a few cabriolet models to choose from, ranging anywhere from $41,300 to $59,300. Well yes, there's the R8 Spyder, but at $128k, I think we can assume that's not a viable option. Now keep in mind, those are starting prices, so realistically she's driving around in a $50,000 car. Now she must know that her hitman-to-be sees her driving up in this nice set of wheels.... why in the hell would she think he'd agree to commit a murder for a paltry $5,000? I mean doesn't that scream setup? There are no discount hit-men. You do not get to use coupons, or negotiate some crazy 3 for 1 deal. Any reputable hitman worth his bones would see her driving up in that car and ask for at least $25,000 cash, not some busted ass Harley Davidson. It's just a perfect example of you get what you pay for. I would however point out that while her Facebook profile is locked up tighter than a drum, she does seem to have a nice set of tits in her profile picture.

Sergeant Dakota Meyer, United States Marine Corps.

On Sept. 8, 2009, approximately 15 kilometers south into the Ganjgal Village, Kunar Province, Afghanistan, Embedded Training Team (ETT) 2-8, Regional Corps Advisory Command 3-7 joined together with elements of 1st Kandak, 2nd Brigade, 201st Corps of Afghan National Army (ANA) and 2nd Kandak of the Afghan Border Police (ABP) for a joint operation to conduct a key leader engagement with village elders to discuss security development plans. Marine ETT advisers were allocated in groups of four to pair with ANA/ABP forces. At the time, Sergeant (then-Corporal) Dakota L. Meyer was serving with his four-man ETT including 1st. Lt. Michael Johnson, Staff Sgt. Aaron Kenefick, and Petty Officer Third Class James Layton. The joint operation unit was organized into four elements: an observation post, a quick reaction force (QRF), a dismounted patrol and a security element at the objective rally point (ORP). Meyer was tasked to the security element at the ORP while his ETT team, now joined by Gunnery Sgt. Edwin Johnson, served as the forward element of the joint operation unit.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

No It's Okay, I Didn't Pay Full Price For It.

This season, LIVESTRONG is encouraging their readers to be extra cautious of the sun's harmful rays. As youknow, the use of quality, high protection sun block is absolutely essential for preserving the health of our skin and combatting potentially life threatening skin cancers. Thinksport has launched a new kind of sun protection we can all get behind - LIVESTRONG sunscreen, which can be recognized by it trademark yellow bottle with black cap. So I'm not quite sure what brand this is, since it's a black bottle with a yellow cap. Anyone know what brand that is?

Pain Heals. Chicks Dig Scars. Glory... Lasts Forever.

"Don't ask, don't tell" (DADT) was the official United States policy on homosexuals serving in the military from December 21, 1993 to September 20, 2011. The policy prohibited military personnel from discriminating against or harassing closeted homosexual or bisexual service members or applicants, while barring openly gay, lesbian, or bisexual persons from military service. A congressional bill to repeal DADT was enacted in December 2010, specifying that the policy would remain in place until the President, the Secretary of Defense, and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff certified that repeal would not harm military readiness, followed by a 60-day waiting period. A July 6, 2011 ruling from a federal appeals court barred further enforcement of the U.S. military's ban on openly gay service members. Immediately following the repeal of DADT, this previously-closeted gay soldier stationed in Germany, called his father to come out of the closet. And if any closed minded dipshit really has a problem with this, I say, shut the fuck up, you ungrateful fuckfaces.

Somehow, I Suspect Steve-O Is Using Again.

During the taping of a Comedy Central roast of Charlie Sheen, Steve-O joked, "The last time this many nobodies were at a roast, at least Great White was playing." -- which to be perfectly clear, I think was fucking awesome. Anyway, Steve-O has since apologized for the comment and requested that it be removed from of the roast. Unfortunately, the producers complied and said joke was not included in the broadcast version. And in case that site becomes unavailable, here is another source which is a bit slower, so you may have to wait for it to load. If you watch it to the very end, you can see this gem: Steve-O running his face into Mike Tyson's fist. No seriously, Steve-O broke his nose doing that. And I think right around the :31 second mark you can see this look of shame across his face, as he realizes that people aren't so much laughing with him, as at him. Even Captain Kirk is like 'What the fuck'. It's kind of sad, actually.

The Good, The Bad, And The Faaaaaaabulous.

Back when I was in the (ch)Air Force at Hanscom, there was a guy in the dorm that we were all pretty sure was gay. We'll call him Tom Hocks. His taste in fashion was a little too good and cutting edge, he's never leave his room without checking himself out in the mirror for ten minutes, when he came into some money the first thing he went out an dbought was a red convertible BMW. Oh, and when he had male 'friends' visit from back home, they'd sleep in his room (no big deal), but there were never any second place made up for them to sleep. Just his bed. A single bed. But Tom always did his job, got good scores on his EPRs, and was no different than anyone else to hang out with. He was a nice enough guy, a good Airman, he just took it in the shitter. Oh, and he also has a *smokin hot* sister who would visit him every once in awhile. We lost contact after he PCS'd to Lajes Field on the Azores, so I dunno if he's still in or got out or what. I'm curious what effect the repeal of DADT has on him, if any.

There, I Think That Should Just About Cover Everything.

Here is an photo that I liked. After reading the accompanying article, I was a little conflicted whether I was on her side or the state. All in all, it's a mixed up world. Thing are never as they seem initially. Good Luck. Bart