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Ernie's House of Whoopass! September 12, 2011
September 12, 2011

Jim Henson Predicted the Future Back In 1976.

Fresh baked bread doesn't stay fresh for long. Have you ever gotten freshly baked bread early in the day to be used for your evening meal? I've got a tip that will help you keep it fresh until dinnertime that my friend Donna gave to me years ago. Put it in your microwave for the day. A microwave is airtight when it's closed. It works as well as a breadbox. By putting your bakery bread or rolls in there, they will remain fresher than leaving them on the counter. You could put them in the refrigerator and take them out to come to room temperature before dinner, but I find that the refrigerator tends to dry out fresh bread. My kitchen counter top doesn't have room for a breadbox. In fact, it doesn't have room for much. By using my microwave as a temporary breadbox, I keep my bakery bread fresh, and I keep my counters less cluttered.

In a 2002 piece reprinted here, Rebecca Liss recounts the story of one "crazy brave" Marine who rushed to Ground Zero and worked through the night to help rescue two survivors trapped in the rubble of the Twin Towers. " You can call me 'staff sergeant.' "

Looking at girls wearing your favorite team's gear might be one of the sexiest things in all of sports. This is a girl who can be sexy but also appreciates a good football or baseball game. These girls come in the form of fans and cheerleaders, all with the ability to make any man melt. Here are the sexiest hotties all gussied up in their team's gear.

Pogona are a genus of lizards containing seven species, which are often known by the common name bearded dragons. The term "bearded dragon" is most commonly used to describe the Central Bearded Dragon. Members of this genus live in the arid, rocky, semi-desert regions and dry open woodlands of Australia. They are adept climbers, spending time on branches and in bushes, even found on fence posts when living near human habitation. Pogona bask on rocks and exposed branches in the mornings and afternoons. The species are found throughout Australia.

So my 3 year old daughter asked me why some of her barbie dolls were black and some were white. Jokingly, I replied that all little girls turn black on their 4th birthday, as her birthday was roughly a week away, and her reaction was worth recording...... Vegasnutzz

Ernie, thought you might be interested in this. This is the aftermath of this past week's heavy rains and flooding in Northeast PA and Southern Tier Ny. I live in Towanda,Pa, where the river crested at levels not seen since Hurricane Agnes in 1972, when 3/4 of the town was underwater.......The Susquehanna River rose nearly 20 feet in a matter of a couple of days. In Some areas, the river crested at 30 feet, vs. its normal flood stage of 11 feet. Levees in most of the local towns are designed to maintain the river in its banks at up to 26 feet, and were overtopped by 2-3 feet. [warning: youtube picture slideshow with annoying music] Derrick

"Once More, with Feeling" is the seventh episode of the sixth season of the fantasy television show Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997–2003) and the only one in the series performed as a musical. It was written and directed by the show's creator, Joss Whedon, and originally aired on UPN in the United States on November 6, 2001. All cast members sang their parts, although two were given minimal lines by request. "Once More, with Feeling" is the most technically complex episode in the series, as extra voice and dance training for the cast was interspersed with the production of four other Buffy episodes. It was Joss Whedon's first attempt at writing music, and different styles—from 1950s sitcom theme music to rock opera—express the characters' secrets in specific ways. The episode was well-received critically upon airing, specifically for containing the humor and wit to which fans had become accustomed. The musical format allowed characters to stay true to their natures while they struggled to overcome deceit and miscommunication, fitting with the sixth season's themes of growing up and facing adult responsibilities. It is considered one of the most effective and popular episodes of the series, and—prior to a financial dispute—was shown in theaters with the audience invited to sing along. "Buffy The Vampire Slayer: Once More, With Feeling" piano sheet music was published by Cherry Lane Music Company, and contained 19 piano/vocal/guitar selections from the soundtrack.

Hey Ernie, Love the site and all that good stuff. This article caught my eye. I love how the guy at the end says "To be honest, I think it's reassuring that there was such a great response from the authorities," LMAO!! "A GREAT RESPONSE" to him is an F16 "escort". F16 weren't designed and built to "escort" commercial aircraft. They where designed to DESTROY other aircraft. So I guess he's reassured that when it all comes down to it the authorities will just say FUCK IT AND KILL YOU!. All because some people had some stomach problems on a plane. What a awesome post 9/11 world we live in. THX -Mark

I don't know if you've read or shown this before, but the way the guy jumped a cougar and started choking it to save his son made me wonder why he didn't just beat it to death with his enormous balls! Love the site, (a different) Mark

You know, if you had told me ten years ago that the Patriot Act would still be in place today, I'd have called you a fucking liar. But here we are, with a little too much of this and not enough of this. I remember a conversation I had with Eight Fingered Jerry, when he was talking about soldiers going back for additional tours in Vietnam. he said you did your first tour and either you made it out alive or you didn't. Some people got killed their first day, some their last day, some didn't get a scratch. But if you were crazy enough to volunteer for a second tour, somehow your chances got worse. And if you were crazy enough to volunteer for a third tour, you were deemed practically suicidal since the chances of making it through all three tours alive, was almost zero. With that in mind, consider there are soldiers today going back to Iraq/Afghanistan approaching their tenth tour. How do you think that makes them feel about their prospects of coming back?

It might come as a surprise, but it turns out flames can't beat a vacuum in a head-to-head battle. One brave stupid man decided to put his household appliance to the test by attempting to suck up a fire that looks like it's been set on purpose, and the blaze puts up a good fight. Inexplicably, though, the Oreck comes out victorious in the end.

the 25 most un-american reactions to the 9/11 anniversary

who cares about the squad car, i want more info on the female cop with full sleeve tats

images of solidarity from 9/11 memorials around the world

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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