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Ernie's House of Whoopass! October 3, 2011
October 3, 2011

Oh What, Like You Don't Take Corn To The Beach?

During the re-release of the original Star Wars movies to Blu-Ray, George Lucas had been toying with the idea of having a, "more modern, urban sounding" C-3PO. And just to give you an idea at how timeless a good quality story can be, this is a 4 year old's reaction to finding out that Darth Vader is actually Luke Sykwalker's father.

Don't ask me how I know this but winklepickers are a style of shoe or boot worn from the 1950s onward by male and female British rock and roll fans. The pointed toe was called the winkle picker toe because in England periwinkle snails or winkles are or were a popular seaside snack, which is eaten using a pin or other pointed object to carefully extract the soft parts out of the coiled shell, hence the phrase: "to winkle something out", and from that, winkle-pickers as a humorous name for shoes with a very pointed tip. The feature which gives both the boot and shoe their name is the very sharp and quite long pointed toe, reminiscent of medieval footwear and approximately the same as the long pointed toes on some women's high fashion shoes and boots in the late 2000s.

The star goalkeeper for the United States women's national soccer team continues to be the talk of the town, garnering more attention with every appearance on television, more reverence with every adventurous endeavor. While it's clear she is far from an unknown entity after her dominant performance in the World Cup, her iconic dancing on Dancing with the Stars and her proper photo shoots, only one decision is going to propel her to immortality. Hope Solo is set to pose nude for ESPN's Body Issue, ready to show fans what she's truly about. The poses may have the athletes creatively covering their provocative areas, but it's still the zealous choice to liberate herself that has fans thrilled.

Step aerobics is distinguished from other forms of aerobic exercise by its use of an elevated platform (the step). The height can be tailored to individual needs by inserting risers under the step. Step aerobics classes are offered at many gyms and fitness centers which have a group exercise program. Step aerobics helps burn calories. The number of calories burned depends on the speed of movements, step height, and length of exercise time. Step aerobics provides endurance training, which helps maintain the health of the cardiovascular system. The strength training component of step aerobics helps improve gait and balance. Step aerobics provides flexibility training that enhances joint movements. Step aerobics has a positive impact on mental health as well. Since the workout is fun and enjoyable, it can help release stress. If the workout is done in a group, the exercise session can create social connections with others. Lastly, step aerobics is suitable for all ages, low cost, and has no restrictions on place.

Son-of-a-bitch… I cried for 30 minutes after reading this. As a avid dog lover and one who will be soon facing the same, as my dog continues to age, this really hit home. Thanks for all you do, Ernie. Brad – Aliso Viejo, CA

Welcome to Canada. Have you gotten your complementary dog yet? If not, we will parachute one right to you.

One important lesson we learned from Japan earlier this year is that it's easy to forget how terrifying nuclear power plants are when they're not melting down. Nuclear plants have to be designed with all kinds of safety precautions to prevent them from converting a hundred square miles of country into a place where you could film a fake moon landing. So we're definitely safe from anyone crazy enough to want to blow one up, right? Sure. Unless they have wire cutters! In 2003, Greenpeace decided to break into the Sizewell B nuclear plant in England, just to see if they could do it. They came armed only with dreadlocks, tie-dyed T-shirts and wire cutters, the only tools they figured would release an acceptable level of carbon emissions. Luckily for them (but not so much for us), the most high-tech security system they came up against was a fence and a sign asking them to please not come in and blow up the power plant. A very short time later, the activists were in the central control room of the plant, looking at a whole bunch of big red buttons with "For the love of God do not ever push" written on them. But surely this was just a freak event that could never, ever happen again, right? Greenpeace decided to test this theory in 2010 when they tried to break into a nuclear plant in Sweden. Once again, they just jumped a fence, and they were inside. It's just pure luck that, rather than a bunch of terrorists with suitcase bombs, they were hippies in stupid-looking wind turbine costumes who were only there to yell at people.

Cobalt glass is a deep blue colored glass prepared by adding cobalt compounds to the molten glass. It is appreciated for its attractive color. It is also used as an optical filter in flame tests to filter out the yellow flame caused by the contamination of sodium, and expand the ability to see violet and blue hues. Under fluorescent light, cobalt glass has twice the effect. Some people collect objects made from cobalt glass, amassing large collections.

Ernie, first time long time. I was reading this article on msnbc, thought you could use the 4th pic down. Fish & Chips indeed!! ~Rob Rochester, NY

Stella Artois is a 5% ABV lager originating from Leuven, Belgium. It is named Stella after the Latin word for "star" whereas Artois is the family name of Sebastianus Artois, who gave his name to the brewery in 1717. Pilsner lagers such as Stella Artois head the list for domestic consumption, making up almost 75% of Belgian beer production. Stella is promoted as an international brand by its brewer, AB InBev. In its home market of Belgium however, it is marketed, priced and sold as a regular lager. Stella Artois is available on draught and in several packaged sizes, including a 275 ml bottle, 284 ml bottle, 330 ml bottle, 330 ml can, pint size can known as "La Grande Bière" (568 ml), 660 ml bottle, 700 ml bottle, 985 ml bottle, and a 1 litre bottle.

A boonie hat, also known as a bush hat, is a form of wide-brim hat commonly used by military forces. Its design is similar to a bucket hat but with a stiffer brim. Often a fabric tape band of 'branch loops' is sewn around the crown of the hat. This 'foliage ring' is meant to hold additional vegetation as camouflage. A strap provides stability. The crown may be vented with rivets or mesh panels. Later boonies are called "Hat, Sun" or "Hat, Sun, Hot Weather", which is still the designation for this type of cover. They are made in various patterns, in cotton ripstop or nylon blend cloth.

When the words "surfer" and "shark" appear together in a headline, the news usually concerns a bloody encounter. But in Venice Beach, Calif., a few days ago, video footage captured something remarkable: surfers grabbing and saving a great white shark. The surfers encountered the great white shark, which had a fishing hook stuck in its mouth, south of Venice pier, according to L.A. Weekly and other media reports. One man actually put his hand in the shark's mouth to pull out the fishing gear.

awesome quotes from 11 famous writers on censorship

the bad ideas that sound good when you're drunk? flaming shot takes the cake

bank donates $4.6 million to the police -> the people protest banks -> police arrest the people.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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