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Ernie's House of Whoopass! November 1, 2011
November 1, 2011

Upon Further Review, Zombie Survival Plan Part Deux.

So the one aspect of my existing Zombie Survival Plan is where I would head to once my supplies ran out. In an ideal world, I'd head up north to the relative safety of the (zombie) freezing temperatures. But being down here in SW Florida, that's a lot of ground to cover through lands crawling with the undead and roads choaked with abandoned cars. Being on a peninsula and surrounded on three sides by water, it's best to stay reasonably close me thinks. So after watching this week's episode of The Walking Dead -- MUCH fucking better than last week, and kudo's to Shane for TCB -- I think I've found a place to set up shop for the Zombie Apocalypse. Once I decide to fire up Big Red, I only have a short 15 mile drive to the new Casa Del Ernie: Maria Drive. Zoom in on that bad boy and you'll see that it's fucking perfect, with a nice 1,500 foot road as the only way in and out, with water on both sides. Jam pack that bitch with vehicles and I'll be almost completely isolated. Do a little fishing, plant a few veggies, and life is good.

Now you may think that having a bona fide Zombie Survival Plan is silly, but you'd be wrong. With our population having just crossed 7 billion people, a pandemic is going to spread like fucking wildfire, so being prepared and having a plan is something even the University of Florida agrees with.

Added bonus: on the way there is a drawbridge which I can raise to isolate the entire Matlacha/Pine Island area from the mainland. Per Pine island's Wilipedia article... there are on average about 9,000 inhabitants I'd have to deal with. Assuming they all turned to zombies, I went through my ammo storage this morning and estimate I have enough bullets to dispatch some 11,200 walkers, allowing for single shot kills with defensive caliber rounds and three-shot kills for weenie little 22lr. Once Pine Island is cut off from the rest of the world, I've got a wildlife preserve at my disposal which means I can still make cheeseburgers of some sort. So there you have it. Some kayaks, some fishing poles, some bullets, and I've got my very own island fortress. Now for those of you also near the coast, I'd advise against Bikini and Gruinard Islands, because who knows how radiation or Anthrax will affect the undead. The last thing you need is to be dealing with a goddamn witch.

The ship in the background of the younger lady is the older lady, SS Balclutha. She was launched in 1886 and after a long career was made part of the National Park Service, Hyde Street Pier Maritime Exhibit at Aquatic Park in San Francisco. The SS Dunsyre has a shorter history since being launched in 1899 and is listed as foundered in 1900. Looking forward to helping bring home personnel from overseas this year. When do you start? Toodles for now!! Anthony

LBEH kicks off on Veteran's Day, November 11th! Which reminds me, I have to update the site...

Ultra Brite is an American toothpaste and tooth-whitener marketed by Colgate-Palmolive in the United States. It was introduced as an imitator of Maclean's adult toothpaste, but was soon reformulated with a peppermint flavor to give it a more pleasant taste. Ultra Brite gained popularity during the 1970's with a commercial that stated, "Ultra Brite gives your mouth...[bling] appeal!" During the late 1970's and 1980's the paste was sold in the United Kingdom but was eventually withdrawn in the 1990's due to competitive pressures.

KTLA morning news reporter Allie MacKay wears a tight t-shirt and demonstrates the Shake Weight for her live shot during the May sweeps ratings period. Anchor Chris Schauble loves shaking his big black one while weatherman Mark Kriski tries out the little white one. You're welcome.

Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is a novel by Mark Twain, first published in England in December 1884 and in the United States in February 1885. Commonly named among the Great American Novels, the work is among the first in major American literature to be written in the vernacular, characterized by local color regionalism. It is told in the first person by Huckleberry "Huck" Finn, a friend of Tom Sawyer and narrator of two other Twain novels. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is noted for its colorful description of people and places along the Mississippi River. Satirizing a Southern antebellum society that had ceased to exist about twenty years before the work was published, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is an often scathing look at entrenched attitudes, particularly racism.

I clicked on this picture, initially just because it looked cool. When I looked more closely, I realized the water isn't being directed at the screw, it's coming from the blades of the screw itself. That picture is actually of a water test of a Prairie-Masker system. I'm not sure why, but they're pumping water through holes in the propeller through which they'd normally push air. That's the only picture I've ever seen of the screw portion of the system "in use." Pretty neat stuff. [link - link - link] Matt

A crossover is a vehicle built on a car platform and combining, in highly variable degrees, features of a sport utility vehicle (SUV) with features from a passenger vehicle, especially those of a station wagon or hatchback. Using the unibody construction typical of passenger vehicles, the crossover combines SUV design features such as tall interior packaging, high H-point seating, high ground-clearance or all-wheel-drive capability — with design features from an automobile such as a passenger vehicle's platform, independent rear suspension, car-like handling and fuel economy. Crossovers are typically designed for only light off-road capability, if any at all, as can be seen just outside of this car's window.

Sometimes Twitter pictures are even hotter than the best pics from a professional photo shoot. Probably because they are real life, which makes even the hottest of sports hotties seem more accessible. Well slightly more accessible. Not like... you can ask them on a date and they'll say yes... accessible. I've scoured the interwebs to bring you 50 of the sexiest sports hottie TwitPics, because I care. You can thank me later. Let's just do the damn thing already.

When the honeymoon is over and they settle into their home, newlyweds often face a bathroom that doesn't meet both of their needs. Separate bathrooms may seem like the ultimate luxury, but for some couples it's practically a necessity. Here's a his-and-her bathroom that will make the honeymoon last a little longer. As the old saying goes, the couple that grooms apart stays together.

It would be a grave understatement to say that boobs are great. It would also be puerile. But we don’t really care because, well, boobs are great. They must take up about 50 percent of our daily thoughts, and are undoubtedly up there with fast food and the ability to breathe as the best things ever to grace mankind. So what if someone decides to spend their hard-earned dollars improving their breasts for the good of themselves — and the rest of humanity? What’s wrong with that, huh? Here’s our argument in favor of plastic surgeons worldwide: the 20 most awesome celebrity boob jobs, ever.

Hippies will tell you, plastic is a huge problem to our environment, it is all around us. People use it indiscriminately, without considering how it is being disposed of, where it will end, how it is a serious threat to our world! People assume that because they see a recycling symbol, it will be recycled. The sad part is that we are using tonnes of plastic that is not recycled, it´s just not a profitable business to recycle bottle caps, straws, lighters, plastic cup lids, etc. There has been a lot of noise on reducing plastic bags, and most people are at least aware of the problem plastic bags are for the environment and wildlife.

could you pass this 96 question us citizenship test? (92/96)

in related news, the expendables 2 is going to be TOTALLY FUCKING AWESOME.

old and busted: moan my ip. the new hotness: groan my ip.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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