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Ernie's House of Whoopass! November 9, 2011
November 9, 2011

How In The Hell You Gonna Get Fired... Fo Doin Ya Job?

Photography was not part of Emily Tanen's job description at the Manhattan branch of Animal Care and Control of New York City. But soon after she started working there in August 2009, she began taking photos of animals who were scheduled to be euthanized. Her photos, she said, were an effort to attract the interest of adopters and rescue groups. She mostly photographed pit bulls: Freckles, black with pink skin around her eyes, wearing a striped scarf; Spot, a white puppy, getting his chest scratched; and Harlem, skinny and brindled, paws draped over a volunteer's elbow. But her photos violated the group's strict policy on taking images of animals, which dictates who can take photos, how the animals can be photographed and how the images can be used. One rule prohibits showing humans in the photos. As a result, she was fired in May.

Road rage is an aggressive or angry behavior by a driver of an automobile or other motor vehicle. Such behavior might include rude gestures, verbal insults, deliberately driving in an unsafe or threatening manner, or making threats. Road rage can lead to altercations, assaults, and collisions which result in injuries and even deaths. It can be thought of as an extreme case of aggressive driving.

Meet William Randolph Lovelace II, American army surgeon and lieutenant, who researched bodily effects of high-altitude flight. You see, it was discovered "the hard way" that, above 35,000 feet, pilots who had to eject from planes would pass out because of the lack of oxygen. It's 1943, during WWII. Lovelace watched wave after wave of pilots jump out of a plane at 35,000 feet and lose consciousness, and instead of immediately concluding "We should develop oxygen masks," he said, "Bullshit, those World War II-era fighter pilots are a bunch of pussies. This job calls for a motherfucking scientist." As part of a set of experiments to study new oxygen equipment, Lovelace bails out of a B-17 bomber at over 40,000 feet. He is knocked unconscious when the parachute opens, and gets frostbite on one of his hands after his glove is torn away. So he just floats, unconscious, down to the ground, and for this experiment, he is awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross. And that's how we learned that we need to develop oxygen masks for high-altitude flights.

Windows 3.1 is a series of 16-bit operating systems produced by Microsoft for use on personal computers. The series began with Windows 3.1, which was first sold during March 1992 as a successor to Windows 3.0. The first release, Windows 3.1, released on April 6, 1992, includes a TrueType font system (and a set of highly legible fonts), which effectively made Windows a viable desktop publishing platform for the first time. Similar functionality was available for Windows 3.0 through the Adobe Type Manager font system from Adobe. Windows 3.1 was designed to have backward compatibility with older Windows platforms. As with Windows 3.0, version 3.1 had File Manager and Program Manager, but unlike all previous versions, Windows 3.1 and later support 32-bit disk access, cannot run in real mode, and included Minesweeper instead of Reversi.

Moses Lake Craigslist.. again. Crazy what people have time for.. Amy

Hey Ernie, Tell Mike he needs pics of the true Viper he has. I'm now a Viper owner, not a truck with a V-10 and here is my ride...and a pic of my other ride too. - Rich

Awesome car, but my suggestion would be to set aside an additional $12.30.

The Dark Knight is based on the DC Comics character Batman, the film is part of Nolan's Batman film series and a sequel to 2005's Batman Begins. Christian Bale reprises the lead role of Bruce Wayne/Batman, with Michael Caine, Gary Oldman and Morgan Freeman returning as Alfred Pennyworth, James Gordon and Lucius Fox, respectively. The film introduces the character of Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart), Gotham's newly elected District Attorney and the cohort of Bruce Wayne's childhood friend Rachel Dawes (Maggie Gyllenhaal), who joins Batman and the police in combating the new rising threat of a criminal activity in Gotham City.

Old and busted: The Walking Dead. The new hotness: The Walking Cat. Old and busted: 2 girls, 1 cup. The new hotness: 3 cats, 1 steak. Old and busted: celebrity roasts on Comedy Central. The new hotness: celebrity roast of HBO.

Several times a year, Hollywood puts on a big show of celebrating actors' achievements with a slew of awards ceremonies. The paparazzi snap, and the recipients cry, give over-the-top speeches and get all the credit. But what about the little people, the poor, uncelebrated objects that really made some of our favorite films? Although silent and sometimes subtle, these inanimate movie objects actually stole the show. Hint: Put. The. Bunny. Down.

How do you know if you have fitted your life jacket, otherwise known as a PFD (personal flotation device), properly? Manufacturers make PFDs according to a person's size and weight, so, when it is fitted properly it will help to keep your head above water. If it's too large, the life jacket will ride up around your face when you are in the water. If it is too small, it will not have enough flotation to keep you afloat. Check the label for your size or weight. The manufacturer's label will show whether it is an adult or child life jacket -- an adult life jacket will not work for a child. Be sure to choose the PFD that reflects your size and weight.

Horror author Thomas Roche reveals a dirty secret: zombies are a symbol for sex. And he also answers the question: what makes a man write an "after the apocalypse" zombie novel - after hundreds of hours of writing porn? Thomas S. Roche explains that in at least some of the stories , zombies "represent denied erotic urges - violence owing to sexual repression." (And in other stories, zombie-ism gets triggered by internalized homophobia.) Now Roche has written a new zombie novel which incorporates Wikileaks, conspiracy forums, and viral YouTube videos, studying the new wasteland where crime intersects corporate disinformation. But in this new interview, he also explains what he's learned about sex from 20 years of volunteering at the San Francisco Sex Information network... Sugar

Well, I'd say that guy can go fuck himself.

Jackass 3D (also known as Jackass 3) is a 2010 American 3D comedy film and the fourth film (following Jackass 2.5) in the Jackass series. It was released on October 15, 2010 by Paramount Pictures and MTV Films to American theaters and marked the 10th anniversary of the franchise, which started in 2000. This is the last Jackass film that Ryan Dunn appeared in before his death in 2011. Beavis and Butt-head introduce the film by explaining 3D technology. The opening sequence features the cast lining up and then being attacked by various objects in slow-motion. The opening sequence, as well as many of the stunts, were filmed with Phantom high speed cameras which shoot at 1,000 frames per second.

While the omnipresent socialite Kim Kardashian may garner the most attention for her constantly updated list of athlete conquests, her fellow WAGs are anxiously awaiting the chance to be revered for their superior beauty. Across the world, sexy wives and girlfriends continue to dazzle the screen with breathtaking photo shoots and unique personalities, yet fail to be embraced as much as Kardashian has been. It's a strange phenomenon, but it proves that the ubiquitous need for constant entertainment takes precedence over sheer beauty. Here we'll appreciate WAGs hotter than the lead Kardashian sister, starting off with golfing honey, Natalie Gulbis. In related news, I hate Dustin Johnson.

Ladies, when we sends flowers, this is what we expect in return.

lower than a snake's belly in a wagon rut

face discovered in testicular tumor. sleep tight.

nazis up the mississippi, and other axis invasion scenarios

kevin smith's army: how his loyal fans prop up a stunningly mediocre career

does rice really make birds explode?

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Current Images? Fixed. Archived Images? Not S...


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