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Ernie's House of Whoopass! November 23, 2011
November 23, 2011

Insert Your Favorite Obligatory Breast Joke Here.

WKRP in Cincinnati is an American situation comedy that featured the misadventures of the staff of a struggling fictional radio station in Cincinnati, Ohio. The show was created by Hugh Wilson and was based upon his experiences working in advertising sales at Top 40 radio station WQXI (AM) in Atlanta. As was typical of most MTM productions, the humor came more from running gags based on the known predilections and quirks of each character, rather than from outlandish plots or racy situations, since the show has a realistic setting. One of WKRP in Cincinnati's best-known and most-loved episodes is a comic account of a disastrous promotion initiated by Carlson. As a publicity stunt, the station drops live turkeys out of a helicopter over a shopping center as a Thanksgiving Day giveaway. The domestic turkeys, which cannot fly, plunge to their deaths as shoppers run for their lives. The entire event, however, occurs entirely off-screen, as the viewer only sees and hears Les Nessman describe the scene in words reminiscent of Herbert Morrison's reporting of the Hindenburg disaster. A shaken Arthur Carlson later remarks, "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." It was named by TV Guide as one of the greatest episodes in television history.

Normally this is where I would somehow force out a horrible slice-the-turkey pun, but since I consider them tro the blowest form of humor, here are some scores on 3 Slice. First person to break 1800% -- Matt with 1826%, who was in turn double butt-fucked by Davis and Phil, who both scored 1834%. The challenge continues!

Volvic is a brand of mineral water. Its source lies just to the north of the Puy de Dôme. The water's distinctive mineral content is due to the nearby volcano which last erupted in 5760 BC. The first of the springs in the area was tapped in 1922, and the first bottles appeared on the market in 1938. Today, Volvic waters are internationally known. Over 50% of the production of Volvic water is exported to more than 60 countries throughout the world. Two bottling plants produce over 1 billion bottles of water annually and are the principal employers of the local commune. Since 1997, Volvic has been using PETE, a recyclable material, to make their bottles.

When you're a kid, Thanksgiving is something Mom or Grandma takes care of, and "dinner parties" in general are things fancy people on TV do. But sooner than you think, you will reach an age where you'll be expected to host meals for other people. And there is never more pressure to get this right than on Thanksgiving. If dinner parties are like group sex, Thanksgiving is like starring in porn. The lights are on, the camera is recording and everyone's good time rests entirely on your boner. So the day has arrived. The food is bought. You've spent a full work day cleaning up empty beer cans and strategically placing furniture over wine-colored vomit stains. You are ready to eat and thank the shit out of some shit. Or are you? Here are 5 Thanksgiving disasters that you're probably not prepared for.

Bollywood Badasses - smashing bricks on their friends heads with sledge hammers. We need this on America's got talent or the X factor. Paul

Hey Big E, Not sure if this is fitting for you to use but as a devout Packer fan, I found this video of a little girl crying over the Packers beating the Vikings - very funny. This girl is set up for a lifetime of disappointment if she wants to stay a Viking fan. For all the parents out there who say kids don't keep score and that little league and pee wee football should be played for fun and scores not kept, I cry bullshit. This three year old knows the difference in winning and losing already and yes it does matter. Keep up the awesome site and my donation to LBEH will be in the first week of December. John

Well, maybe one day she'll become a Chargers fan instead.

Anal itching is the irritation of the skin at the exit of the rectum, known as the anus, accompanied by the desire to scratch. Although itching may be a reaction to chemicals in the stool, it often implies that there is inflammation of the anal area. The intensity of anal itching and the amount of inflammation increases from the direct trauma of scratching and the presence of moisture. At its most intense, anal itching causes intolerable discomfort that often is described as burning and soreness. So in honor of the morning after your Thanksgiving feast, here are 15 of the hottest celebs busted scratching their asses.

Instant noodles are dried or precooked noodles and are often sold with packets of flavoring including seasoning oil. Dried noodles are usually eaten after being cooked or soaked in boiling water for 2 to 5 minutes, while precooked noodles can be reheated or eaten straight from the packet. Instant noodles are often criticized as unhealthy or junk food. A single serving of instant noodles is high in carbohydrates but low in fiber, vitamins and minerals. Noodles are typically fried as part of the manufacturing process, resulting in high levels of saturated fat and/or trans fat. Additionally, if served in an instant broth, instant noodles typically contain high amounts of sodium. The current U.S. Recommended Dietary Allowance of sodium for adults and children over 4 years old is 2,400 mg/day; in extreme cases, some brands may contain over 3,000 mg of sodium per package. Today in the U.S., product formats include regular plastic wrapping and in various cups and styrofoam bowls. The instant noodle product is commonly known as ramen, after the Japanese dish on which it is based, and it comes in a variety of mostly meat-based flavors.

Hey Ernie, Nothing quenches the thirst like a refreshing glass of pulled pork. KJ

Good luck with having ATF banned from stopping your faves. They'll probably call them destructive devices and ban them anyway. Saw that little gem on a gun board. Poster may just be some downer type, but if ATF can call a shoestring an automatic weapon and Chore Boy cleaning pads as silencer material, they'll get around the "no ban" of shotguns. Jon

"Starvin' Marvin" is the ninth episode of the first season of the American animated television series South Park. It first aired on Comedy Central in the United States on November 19, 1997. In the episode, Cartman, Kenny, Kyle and Stan send money to an African charity hoping to get a sports watch, but are instead sent an Ethiopian child whom they dub Starvin' Marvin. Later, Cartman is accidentally sent to Ethiopia, where he learns activist Sally Struthers is hoarding the charity's food for herself. In an accompanying subplot, after genetically engineered turkeys attack South Park residents, Chef rallies the residents to fight back, in a parody of the film Braveheart.

A Pit bull is any of several breeds of dog in the molosser breed group. Many jurisdictions that restrict pit bulls, including Ontario, Canada,, Miami, Florida, U.S. and Denver, Colorado, U.S., apply the restriction to the modern American pit bull terrier, American Staffordshire terrier, Staffordshire bull terrier, or any other dog that has the substantial physical characteristics and appearance of those breeds. Widely reported pit bull attacks have resulted in breed-specific legislation being enacted in several jurisdictions, and in increased premiums for liability insurance. Some airlines have placed restrictions on air travel for pit bulls, though in some instances the restrictions are in place for the dogs' own well-being. There is no evidence for the existence of a physiological "locking mechanism" in the teeth or jaw structure of normal pit bull-type dogs, although a dog's jaws can be locked in a closed position by surgically correctable jaw abnormalities. Despite the lack of a physiological "jaw locking" mechanism, pit bull-type dogs often exhibit "bite, hold, and shake" behavior and refuse to release when biting.

texas drought exposes sunken treasures as drying lakes shrink to reveal submerged historical sites

the thirteen most bizarrely shaped islands on earth

but i thought embryonic stem cell research was horribly evil and was only meant to kill baby jesus?

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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