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Ernie's House of Whoopass! November 29, 2011
November 29, 2011

Packing Boobs On Your.... Errr.... Street?

For the last two years when I've driven up north for vacation -- a trip avoided this year because of Las Vegas -- I've carried a handgun with me for personal protection. And for anyone who suggests that's unreasonable, I challenge you to stop for gas at 3am in the middle of East Bumfuck, Kentucky and see how safe you feel. But getting back on point, my Florida CCW is honored by all of the states along my way, right up until I get to the People's Democratic Republic of New York. Aside from Illinois -- which is pretty by far the most anti-gun in the Union, New York along with California and Massachusetts are kind of in a three-way tie for second place. So because NYW doesn't honor my permit -- a process called reciprocity -- what I've had to do each time I approached the NYS border is to disassemble my handgun, lock up the separate pieces, and store them in different parts of my vehicle.

Currently working its way through Congress is HR 822 -- a firearms permit National Reciprocity act. It pretty much means that if you're issued a license to carry in your home state, those rights extends to all 50 states in the union, much like a drivers license. And just like a drivers license, it is the individual permit holder's responsibility to know the appropriate laws for any state they visit. As always, ignorance is no excuse for breaking the law... so while may be legal to talk or text on a cellphone while driving in one state, it may not be in another. The same would apply to carry laws: An Ohioan who is used to carrying a firearm in a bar in their own state, may not do so in Florida. So while each state would maintain its right to limit where concealed firearms may and may not be carried, HR 822 would force each state to at least honor other state's permits. Translation: My Florida CCW permit would allow me to carry a concealed handgun in New York, but I would still be bound to obey New York State laws.

Of course the fucking idiots at the Brady Campaign are predicting a disaster of Biblical proportions if the "Packing Heat On Your Street" bill is passed by Congress. So While HR 822 has already been passed by the House of Representatives, its next hurdle is the Senate. And two quick points here. First in the House, I was shocked that NY Congressman Richard Hanna -- you know, from the good old state of NOFUCKINGGUNS -- voted YES -- you can read his comments here. And secondly for the Senate, I was downright shocked that MA Senator Scott Brown said he would vote NO. But I suppose when you look at the amount of money being thrown around by organizations opposing HR 822, versus those that support it, I guess Senator Brown's motives are definitely clearer.

Will alcohol be served at your event? If you answered yes, consider speeding up service and guest satisfaction by using wristbands for over 21 age identification. Your staff can check guest ID once and then apply a wristband to only those who are of legal age to drink. Then your servers can quickly identify who they can serve without rechecking ID each time. Wristbands.com offers pre-printed wristbands with the words "Over 21" which can be applied to your guests after checking ID.

The Christmas Price Index is a tongue-in-cheek economic indicator, maintained by the U.S. bank PNC Financial Services, which tracks the cost of the items in the carol "The Twelve Days of Christmas." The Christmas Price Index chose the items in the popular Christmas carol "The Twelve Days of Christmas" as its market basket: a partridge in a pear tree, two turtle doves, three French hens, four calling [sic] birds, five gold(en) rings, six geese, seven swans, eight maids, nine dancing ladies, ten leaping lords, eleven pipers, and twelve drummers. According to tradition, the purchasing of the items begins on December 26 and ends on January 6.

Being a cheerleader is tough. Not only do they have to worry about when to flip or how to land correctly so they do not break a leg, but they have to face constant scrutiny and judging from their peers and fans. I have analyzed these beautiful women from top to bottom, left to right. I have covered the cheerleaders of the NBA, NFL, NHL, NCAA and even the MLB. I have conducted countless hours of research towards this project over the past two years. This is the list that will combine them all. This is the 50 Hottest Cheerleader Squads of All Sports. There is no more separation between the sports; every team is in.

Hey Ernie, Several weeks ago, you posted about "The perfect day" for a dying dog. 4 weeks ago, my best buddie, an 11 year old Heinz-57 was diagnosed with Lymphoma. We were given the choice of doing 20 weeks of chemotherapy at $500 - 1000 per week, with an average survival of 1 year, or not treating, and having 6 - 12 weeks left with him. We chose the chemo. They told us dogs handle chemo much better than humans. 3 weeks later, the chemo had almost killed him, with obvious pain from the chemo for several days such that he could not lie down without moaning, then no appetite and not eating for a week, followed by a GI bleed and then an infection. With meds for the GI bleed and infection, he is doing much better, but we have chosen to cancel any further chemo. It's not worth the misery he went through. I'd pay any amount to heal him, but there is no cure, only delay of the inevitable. I'm not sure which is harder, letting him go, or getting our 8 year-old daughter to understand why she will not get to play with him for much longer. We are trying to make every remaining day a "perfect day" for him. As his weight drops to 40 pounds, from his original 65, we give him as much food and treats as he can handle, give him lots of love, petting and scratches, and especially ear-rubs. He moans in pleasure from ear-rubs. He has a new bed that is much softer for his now-bony body than his beloved "blankie" he has slept on for years. Thank you for all you do and have done for our dogs, our men in uniform and our love of breasts! Sean M.
PS, I sent $100 for LBEH. I try to donate each year, but some years have not been able to. If you happen to get a request for a Mark [LASTNAME] a soldier in Kabul, could you let me know if you are able? I know with privacy, you may not be able to tell me. He's my nephew and we have not heard if he will be able to come home for Xmas yet. He may seek a ticket to go to Las Vegas to see my brother (his father), or his mother in FL (I think that's where she is now), or even his brother in Seattle. I could hopefully find some more people to donate. It's easier when they know it may be helping someone they know.

Ironically enough, I was having a similar conversation with someone last week. Don't worry, not about Ike or Bianca. But just in general, how much is too much. Especially in the case of cancer where you're not buying the dog a cure, but just some time. Take your chemotherapy numbers into account... let's pick the lower number of $500 per week for 20 weeks... that's $10,000. And it's only going to buy you a year. I think the better course of action for all parties involved -- including your beloved pooch -- would be spare no expense keeping him comfortable, indulge their every whim and to just let nature take its course. And then when you're ready, you'll still have a shitload of money left over to adopt two or three dogs, have them all properly trained, kept them healthy with pet insurance, and give them all good long lives in a loving home. I think that's money better spent.

I've seen dogs chase their tails, cars, laser pointers, cats, toys, and windshield wipers. But never their own shadow. Likewise, I've seen dogs fetch newspapers, beer, cigarattes, remote controls, and their own puppies. But never a bottle of vodka.

In 2009, to better record crime scenes, the New York City Police Department began using the Panoscan, a camera that creates high-resolution, 360-degree panoramic images. Each panorama takes between 3 to 30 minutes to produce, depending on the available light, and is added to a database where detectives can access it. Before the switch to the Panoscan, crime scene images sometimes took days to process. Now, soon after the photos are posted, investigators can point and click over evidence from a scene that they might have missed in the hectic hours after the crime. Explore the crime scenes and listen to Detective Michael J. Cunningham of the New York Police Department discuss the technology.

Hey Ernie, Long time fan. The pic you have of bad lungs actually looks like kidneys associated with Adult Polycystic Kidney Disease. Here is a link to wikipedia. Stay righteous!! Nick D

The Eagle, Globe, and Anchor is the official emblem and insignia of the United States Marine Corps. The current emblem traces its roots in the designs and ornaments of the early Continental Marines as well as the British Royal Marines. The present emblem, adopted in 1966, differs from the emblem of 1868 only by a change in the eagle. Before that time many devices, ornaments, and distinguishing marks followed one another as official badges of the Corps. The emblem recommended by the 1868 board consisted of a globe (showing the continents of the Western Hemisphere) intersected by a fouled anchor, and surmounted by a spread eagle. On the emblem itself, there is a ribbon, clasped in the eagle's beak, bearing the Latin motto "Semper Fidelis" (Always Faithful). The uniform ornaments omit the motto ribbon.

One of my favorite new website might just be Facts and Chicks, a website that teaches you random trivia by superimposing the words over ridiculously beautiful women. If we really want to reform education in America, this might just be the ticket. Here are 20 of the favorites, check them out and be sure to check out the main site where there're lots more.

Stainless Steel is a common name for metal alloys that consist of 10.5% or more Chromium (Cr) and more than 50% Iron (Fe). Although it is called "stainless", a better term for it is "highly stain resistant". A somewhat dark metal, it looks bright because it reflects light. It is one of the most hygienic surfaces for the preparation of foods and very easy to clean, as its unique surface has no pores or cracks to harbor dirt, grime or bacteria. It is very attractive and requires minimal care, since it won't chip or easily rust and it takes little seasoning. It will not affect flavor, as it does not react with acidic foods during food preparation or cooking. With proper care, it has a useful life expectancy of over 100 years, and it is totally recyclable.

A wing corkscrew, sometimes called a butterfly corkscrew or angel corkscrew, has two levers, one on either side of the worm. As the worm is twisted into the cork, the levers are raised. Pushing down the levers draws the cork from the bottle in one smooth motion. The most common design has a rack and pinion connecting the levers to the body. The head of the central shaft is frequently modified to form a bottle opener, increasing the utility of the device. Corkscrews of this design are particularly popular in household use.

address is approximate: stop motion made with google maps street view.

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