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Ernie's House of Whoopass! December 1, 2011
December 1, 2011

It's Been Almost Six years, Funnyman.

I woke up this morning and you know what? I was kinda sad. You see, Richard Pryor would have turned 71 years old today, which coincidently is the same age as Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee, had he lived. And then I sat back and realized that Clint Eastwood is now 81. And John Rambo himself? Sylvester Stallone? 65 years old. The Last Action Hero? Arnold Schwarzenegger? Is 64. So that got me to thinking... who are today's tough guys? Who are today's action heroes? Jason Statham? Please, the guy is a one trick pony. The Rock? Yeah, whenever his Disney contract is up. What that means is young kids today are screwed. They have no tough guys to look up to, and aside from a few comedians who aren't good for anything but the occasional celebrity roast, nobody that's truly funny. I remember watching Richard Pryor and Scott Schwartz in The Toy -- that's the same kid who stuck his tongue to a frozen pole in A Christmas Story, by the way. I would have thought he'd make the list of the most obnoxious child stars of the 80s, but I guess not.

This is a "clean" urinal, when viewed with a UV lamp, a'la CSI style.

A spindle is an cylindrically symmetric shaft, usually made of wood. A spindle is usually made of a single piece of wood and typically has decoration (also axially symmetric) fashioned by hand or with a lathe. The spindle was common at least as early as the 17th century in Western Europe as an element of chair and table legs, stretchers, candlesticks, balusters, and other pieces of woodwork. By definition, the axis of a spindle is straight; hence, for example, a spindle-legged chair is a straight-legged design, even though cylindrical symmetry allows decoration of elaborate notches or bulbs, so long as the cylindrical symmetry is preserved.

According to Kristin Cavallari's Twitter account, she and Jay Cutler are once again engaged. It wasn't so long ago that Cutler called off the engagement, seemingly ending their relationship for good. But here we are, only a few months later, and these two crazy kids are getting married once more. But in Jay's defense, would you walk away from this? See, exactly. Neither would I. But is this the only on-again, off-again relationship in sports? Far from it.

John Edward "Jack" Purcell was a Canadian world champion badminton player. Purcell was the Canadian National Badminton Champion in 1929 and 1930, and declared the world champion in 1933. He retired in 1945, and pursued a career as a stock broker. Purcell also designed an athletic shoe that bears his name, which is still popular today. It was a canvas and rubber badminton sneaker for the B.F. Goodrich Company of Canada in 1935. He designed the shoe to provide more protection and support on badminton courts. In the 1970s, Converse purchased the trademark rights to Jack Purcell sneakers - which it still produces and sells today. The shoe, which is similar in appearance to Converse's Chuck Taylor All-Stars, can be distinguished by the signature "smile" across the toe. Converse "Jack Purcells" are still popular - but more for their vintage fashion appeal than for athletic use.

Ernie, Being a fellow concealed carry person with an Ohio and Oklahoma permit, i just wanted to clarify HR822, It only enforces reciprocity if the state you are in actually offers concealed carry licenses. If the state does not offer concealed carry like New York and Hawaii, well then you cant carry there. Troy

Ernie, this link was on your site today and needless to say, I'm dumbfounded! Am I reading this right? The money reported on this site is money, donated to representatives and senators, for voting or not voting for said bill? And is this par for the course for all bills? Where does this money go? In there pockets? I'm outraged!!! Cliff

Well I don't think the money is a direct correlation as in, "we sent you x-amount of dollars in exchange, you will vote this way." If I'm not mistaken, something that overt is still quite illegal. But could a special interest group funnel some $100,000 to a politician and say, "Say, looks like you can use some funding to help with your next election. Good luck with that. Oh, by the way, we sure would like it if you voted this particular way on this particular piece of legislation." And that's what I think was/is happening there. But there is a lot of misconception regarding HR 822 and what it does/does not do. And to be honest, one thing I wouldn't mind seeing is to see each state establishing a minimum standard for safety training, similar to what is done with hunting permits now. As part of the Florida CCW course, you have to demonstrate "proficiency with a firearm". When I took a private class for mine, I only had to fire 6 shots out of a revolver. At the gun shows down here you only have to fire -- and I'm not kidding -- one single solitary bullet. Now I'm not saying there needs to be a full on pistol fighting course, but a few hours of classroom and range time, going over simple shit like the differences between a revolver and a semi-automatic, the drawbacks to different types of holsters, how to clear a failure-to-feed and failure-to-eject, what a hangfire is and what to do when it happens, how to safely load/unload a magazine, maintaining muzzle and trigger discipline... practical real world shit like that. Oh, and don't slam your fist down on the table when there's a loaded gun pointed at a cat. heh, the Boondock Saints always make me giggle. That made me think of this one and then this one.

For example, the side grip is a technique for shooting a handgun in which the weapon is rotated about ninety degrees and held horizontally instead of vertically. Shooting a gun in this way has no practical benefit under most circumstances and makes proper aiming very difficult, but the style has become somewhat popular in rap culture and among street criminals (who do not often use the gun sight) due to its portrayal in U.S. film and television since the 1990s. As a result of its portrayal in film and television, the side grip is emulated in segments of popular culture that value coolness and aggressiveness, notably African American gangster and black culture, and has been increasingly used in armed crime. The style has become a cliché in black culture to such an extent that a 2009 New York police statement could describe a criminal as flipping his "gun on its side like a character out of a rap video".

Excuse me, but is that guy in white pants pissing behind a tree? How rude.

Hey Ernie, I found a present for you this Christmas. Thanx!!! Charlie

My Dearest Ernie, I just wanted to share my five minutes of internet research with you/friends/followers. The video you posted today regarding the american made building products; they spoke of a list of companies... it's avail on ABC's website here (PDF warning) in case anyone asks and you get lazy and don't wanna have to search it out. Daniel

ATTENTION HELICOPTER MOMS - chill the fuck out. Boys will be boys. Quit wrapping your fucking kids in bubble wrap to protect them from every goddamn little thing, and let him live a little. Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. But glory lasts forever: GO! GO! JACKSON! JACKSON! GO JACKSON!

Meet Micky, world's greatest jumping dog. A 1930s dog unveiled as the 'world's greatest jumping dog' in this viral video. Recently, British Pathe released its back catalogue of over 90,000 reels of film covering newsreel, sports footage, social history, entertainment and music stories from 1896 to 1976. Within the 90,000 reels of footage, it has crowned the 'world's greatest jumping dog'. Here is the proof of his championship. Just check out this incredible video and be amazed, especially when he jumps over a spiked fucking fence.

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