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Ernie's House of Whoopass! December 6, 2011
December 6, 2011

Ernest Fixes A Worn Out Sear.

A couple of weeks ago I picked up a used Marlin 60 with a 4x scope for $120. Just something cheap to plink with and since it was made in 1978, it wasn't one of the neutered ones that are on the market now, courtesy of the great state of New Jersey. So I pick up the rifle, give it a good cleaning and head off to the range to try it out. Slize some dozen and a half little .22LR's down the tube magazine, cock it, aim and.... Click. No boom. Huh. Maybe I'm doing something wrong? Recock it, ejecting the unused round, and give it another whirl. Boom! Excellent. Next shot? Click. And then Click again on the next shot. And the next, and the next. There was the occassional Boom mixed in this little Click party, but not many. And it wasn't the ammunition, of the gas system failing to cycle the action, it felt more like the trigger wasn't resetting. Each time I pulled the trigger on a Click, I could feel the trigger barely, barely, barely scraping against something that (I presume) it was supposed to make better contact with. So with a scant 15 shots fired out of a box of 100, I headed back home with somewhat of a sinking feeling in my stomach.

I cleared off the kitchen counter and disassembled the rifle once again, with much the same success of looking under the hood of a car that won't start; "Yep, that's an engine." Nothing fell out as I took the gun apart and there were no broken pieces that fell into my hand so I did what came naturally - I put the fucking thing back together. And even though I know it's bad juju on an older rimfire, I risked a few dry fires. No click, not even the good dry-fire kind. Dammit. So I went to our old pal Google and searched "Marlin 60 trigger not resetting" and low and behold found a few posts on that very subject. There seemed to be two trains of thought. The first is a worn out sear spring, and the second being something just a hair out of adjustment. Since I couldn't do shit about the sear spring, I followed the instructions for the latter and backed the rear trigger screw out one full turn. This seemed counter-intuitive to me, since my instincts were telling me that the hammer (part of the trigger group) needed to reach further into the receiver, not furher away from it as would happen by looseing the screw. But no harm in trying to so I backed the screw out and cringing (dry fire!), got four successful trigger pulls in a row. Time to head back to the range!

And back to the range I drove. And again loaded my trusty new Marlin, and again sent my target down range and again aimed and again was rewarded with just a fucking Click. Translation: Fuck you, internet people!

So I asked the guys at the range who they recommend for a gunsmith and was pointed in the direction of Brad Park, who quite conveiently lived over in Cape Coral near where I live. So I call the guy up, explain what's happening and make arrangements to go over there and drop the Marlin off. And not that a 1978 rifle is the oldest kid on the block -- I've got a Mosin-Nagant from 1932 but anything on that can be fixed with a ball peen hammer -- but I didn't want to walk into this guy's shop and find some young kid who just passed his GED and followed up with some mail-order gunsmithing course. I wanted a fucking guy whou could hold this gun up and say, "Yeah I remember when these came out." You know, a little experience, amirite?

So I drive to this guy's shop -- which happens to be the garage of his house-- and walk in the door and come face to face with a guy who looked like Ernest P. Worrell, if Ernest P. Worrell had been born during the Mesozoic period. I mean this was two days older than water. And perhaps the only thing older than him were all of the drill presses and lathes and various metalworking tools that seemed to be strewn about the place in such as fashion as to make a teenage girl say, "Goddamn, clean up your room!" But, chaotic and chain smoking as he may be, let me fucking tell you, Brad Park knows guns. So while we sat there and shot the shit about various things -- surprise he doesn't like Obama. Which I have to be honest, we found some common ground on, especially since it seems Obama knew about Fast and Furious as easly as May of 2010. But after a few trips to (what looked to me) a few randomly chosen drawers buried somewhere back in this whirlwind, and a few parts swapped out and viola, the ol Marlin 60 is back in business.

Howdy Ernie, took one of my Mosin's to the range this weekend and had some fun turning some money into noise and turning some heads while doing it. This is a 1940 Izhevsk M91/30 round receiver that I modified the way I wanted it, you know, since it was my gun and all. I apologize for the poor photo quality, it was a snapshot from a movie clip. The ammo was 1964 Czech. Shoot yours lately? -LT

Ernie, Glad to see a personalized story from you again today, I always enjoy those, and the ending with the Canadians made me laugh. I was back visiting in my hometown of Williams Lake, BC (yes, in Canada) this weekend and while in a log home manufacturer's office, noticed a display log with signatures of what appeared to be US soldiers, sailors, airmen, and Marines. There was a plaque noting that this business, Pioneer Log Homes, was a partner and a sponsor of Operation Comfort. According to the staff there, they've had a number of military personnel from all branches come up for a tour of the area in the past. I thought with the season of LBEH in full swing, this was pretty cool to see. This is also the first year I've been able to send a donation, and it's noteworthy that I haven't been able to find a suitable LBEH-style charity here in Canada to give to. I've attached a few pictures as well. Keep up the good work, David - Vancouver, BC

I have not had the Mosin out in a while, but not for lack of trying. I've just been busy with other stuff recently, and haven't had the time for a full day at the range. On that note -- don't forget, LBEH is in full swing, bitches!

Old and busted: LSU cheerleader cam. The new hotness: Norwegian ski-jump cam.

Zombieland is a 2009 American zombie comedy film directed by Ruben Fleischer from a screenplay written by Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick. The film stars Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, and Abigail Breslin as survivors of a zombie apocalypse. Together they take an extended road trip across Southwestern United States in an attempt to find a sanctuary free from zombies. Earlier versions of the script called the protagonists Flagstaff and Albuquerque, rather than Columbus and Tallahassee, and the female characters were called Wichita and Stillwater. The celebrity who would cameo as himself was written as a zombified, dancing Patrick Swayze, including references to highlights of Swayze's career, even including a recreation of the "potter's wheel" scene from Ghost. Bill Murray eventually played the part, most of which was improvised according to Harrelson. Zombieland received positive critical reviews and was a commercial success, grossing more than $60.8 million in 17 days and surpassing the 2004 film Dawn of the Dead as the top-grossing zombie film to date in the United States.

Alexander Ovechkin has himself a new boo, and it just so happens to be fellow Russian and smoldering-hot tennis player Maria Kirilenko. I know—I'm sad she is off the market, too. Because I feel like I totally had a chance. But as a consolation, I've offered up the most beautiful and sexy pictures of Miss Kirilenko to help ease the sadness we are all surely feeling today. On to the healing!

So if you were me, which way would you run with this? Irritable prick, or total pain in the ass?

I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning! - Greg

I pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and told my friend "That's us in 10 years". He said "That's a mirror, dip-shit!" -- Jon

Whittling is the art of carving shapes typically out of raw wood or bone with a knife. Occasionally the terms whittling and carving are used interchangeably, but they are different arts. Carving employs the use of chisels, gouges, and a mallet, while whittling involves only the use of a knife. Whittling is typically performed with a light, small-bladed knife, usually a pocket knife. Specialised whittling knives are available as well. They have thick handles which are easier to grip for long periods allowing precise control and pressure. These days whittling is mainly a hobby and not a living as it used to be before carving machines were invented. It is a custom that has been practiced worldwide for centuries. Some communities still hold whittling festivals and competitions.

Would you rather: sleep with four Victorias Secret models, but be forced never to tell anyone about it, or spend a night in a hotel room chatting with four Victorias Secret models, and have the whole world think you slept with them? Choose wisely, young Daniel-san!

Chinatown is a 1974 American neo-noir film, directed by Roman Polanski from a screenplay by Robert Towne and starring Jack Nicholson, Faye Dunaway and John Huston. The film features many elements of the film noir genre, particularly a multi-layered story that is part mystery and part psychological drama. It was released by Paramount Pictures. The story, set in Los Angeles in 1937, was inspired by the California Water Wars, the historical disputes over land and water rights that had raged in southern California during the 1910s and 1920s, in which William Mulholland acted on behalf of Los Angeles interests to secure water rights in the Owens Valley. Chinatown has been called one of the greatest films ever made. It was nominated for eleven Academy Awards, winning in the category of Best Original Screenplay for Robert Towne. In 1991, Chinatown was selected for preservation in the United States National Film Registry by the Library of Congress as being "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant."

if twilight 4 was 10 times shorter and 100 times more honest

you think a beer bong is fast, try a bierstick. two beers in two seconds.

double trouble: patricia and kelly in the bahamas. mostly sfw.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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