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Ernie's House of Whoopass! December 20, 2011
December 20, 2011

And Now The Toilet Seat Chimes In.

Sodium is a chemical element with the symbol Na (from Latin: natrium) and atomic number 11. It is an abundant element that exists in numerous minerals, most commonly as sodium chloride. Many salts of sodium are highly soluble in water and are thus present in significant quantities in the Earth's bodies of water. Sodium metal is highly reducing, with the reduction of sodium ions requiring ?2.71 volts; other alkali metals have more negative potentials. Hence, the extraction of sodium metal from its compounds (such as with sodium chloride) uses a significant amount of energy. In terms of handling properties, sodium is generally less reactive than potassium and more reactive than lithium. Like all the alkali metals, it reacts exothermically with water, to the point that sufficiently large pieces melt to a sphere and then explode; this reaction produces caustic sodium hydroxide and flammable hydrogen gas. When burned in dry air, it mainly forms sodium peroxide as well as some sodium oxide. In moist air, sodium hydroxide results.

A hernia is the protrusion of an organ or the fascia of an organ through the wall of the cavity that normally contains it. A hiatal hernia occurs when the stomach protrudes into the mediastinum through the esophageal opening in the diaphragm. Colonic herniation. By far the most common herniae develop in the abdomen, when a weakness in the abdominal wall evolves into a localized hole, or "defect", through which adipose tissue, or abdominal organs covered with peritoneum, may protrude. Another common hernia involves the spinal discs and causes sciatica. Herniae may or may not present either with pain at the site, a visible or palpable lump, or in some cases by more vague symptoms resulting from pressure on an organ which has become "stuck" in the hernia, sometimes leading to organ dysfunction. Fatty tissue usually enters a hernia first, but it may be followed by or accompanied by an organ.

On November 28, 1941, the U.S. Chief of Naval Operations sent an encoded important warning message via commercial telegraph that warned of an imminent attack from Japan and advised the military to start flying reconnaissance missions to watch out for, say, Japanese fighters that were sent to attack Hawaii. Despite what the message said, army and navy planes at Pearl Harbor were not flying reconnaissance, and this didn't escape Japanese attention. This is because that message was received on the 6th of December, but wasn't translated until the 8th -- one day after the attack. Believe it or not, that was considered a short delay. Another message sent on November 24 giving a detailed report of goings on at Pearl was not translated until December 16. As a result, the navy didn't sail out to meet the Japanese attack, everyone was caught by surprise, history happened. Which saved a whole lot of lives. Why? Well, those ships would have been taking on Japanese aircraft. And, as many ships would find out during the war, it would have been suicide. Ships at the time just weren't equipped to defend themselves from air attack. This is why Admiral Chester Nimitz said, "It was God's mercy that our fleet was in Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941." Yes, the fleet was bombed in the attack. Eight ships sank. But there is a huge difference between ships getting sunk in the harbor (where crews were easily rescued and six of the ships saved) versus out in the open ocean (where those same ships would have wound up on the ocean floor, along with the 20,000 sailors on board). In reality, the Japanese attack was pretty much a failure. The U.S. ended up losing only two battleships: Arizona and Oklahoma. Meanwhile, all the fuel and repair facilities at the base were left untouched, and the navy could get to work fixing them right away, which is exactly what they did. They were also able to send out the Pacific fleet submarines, fully fueled and stocked, within 24 hours of the attack. As for the remaining battleships, they got the Six Million Dollar Man treatment -- they were rebuilt with stuff like fire control radar and dual-purpose secondary armament, making them capable of shooting at airplanes and ships.

Red Bull is an energy drink sold by the Austrian Red Bull GmbH, created in 1987 by the Austrian entrepreneur Dietrich Mateschitz. In terms of market share, Red Bull is the most popular energy drink in the world, with 3 billion cans sold each year. ed Bull contains taurine, glucuronolactone, caffeine, B vitamins, sucrose, and glucose. Red Bull sugar-free also contains aspartame, acesulfame K, and sucralose in place of sucrose and glucose. The results of a study showed that the ingestion of one 250mL can of sugar-free Red Bull, in a sample of 30 healthy young adults, had an immediate detrimental effect on both endothelial function, and normal blood coagulation. This temporarily raised the cardiovascular risk in these individuals to a level comparable to that of an individual with established coronary artery disease.

Hey Ernie, I am not looking for applause or anything else. I just wanted to tell you I donated to LBEH for the first time. Even though I was laid off over a year ago and I am now only working part-time. I wanted to do something good for the holidays. It was only $10 but I guess that’s $10 more then you had before. Merry Christmas. Bill

Hey Ernie, I've been a long time lurker and fan. Two things: First, was wondering why there isn't an easy LBEH link of the front page of EHOWA. In past years, there has been. Second, I'd like to apologize for only being able to scratch up 15 bucks for the fundraiser. 2011 has been a shitty year with my job situation, unexpected medical expenses and auto repairs. You name it, it happened this year. I hate to use the " It's the thought that counts" excuse but I hope my donation can at least buy a few drinks on the ride home for one of our fellow servicemen. Anyhow, thanks for everything you do from entertaining your fans to lending a hand to those who need it. Respectfully, Mark

Coenraad Johannes van Houten was a Dutch chemist and chocolate maker known for the treatment of cocoa mass with alkaline salts to remove the bitter taste and make cocoa solids more water-soluble; the resulting product is still called "Dutch process" chocolate. He is also, incorrectly, credited with introducing a method for pressing the fat (cocoa butter) from roasted cocoa beans, which was in fact his father's invention. In 1828 Casparus van Houten Sr. (and not his son, who is usually credited) patented an inexpensive method for pressing the fat from roasted cocoa beans. The center of the bean, known as the "nib," contains an average of 54 percent cocoa butter, which is a natural fat. Van Houten's machine - a hydraulic press - reduced the cocoa butter content by nearly half. This created a "cake" that could be pulverized into cocoa powder, which was to become the basis of all chocolate products. The introduction of cocoa powder not only made creating chocolate drinks much easier, but also made it possible to combine chocolate with sugar and then remix it with cocoa butter to create a solid, already closely resembling today's eating chocolate. The Van Houten company was sold in 1962 to W.R. Grace, and the factories in Weesp closed in 1971. The Van Houten brand name, still in use, has been transferred several times since, in 1990 from the German chocolate manufacturer Jacobs Suchard to Philip Morris.

Figure skaters may be known for their sensual movements on the ice, but few have excited the sports world like Kiira Korpi. She may be the 2007 and 2011 European bronze medalist, 2010 Trophee Eric Bompard champion and a two-time Finnish national champion, but this Finnish star is seemingly garnering more attention for her beauty than her athleticism. While skating is in her blood as the daughter of a coach, posing is seemingly in her future. Here are the hottest pics of our favorite winter sports babe.

A water ball or water walking ball is a large inflatable sphere that allows a person inside it to walk across the surface of a body of water. The giant ball is usually two metres in diameter and has a zippered entrance to allow for easy entry and exit. The water ball is similar to the zorb, but it has only one layer and is designed for water travel rather than down-hill rolling. The United States Government has warned of the dangers of using the balls, saying it "does not know of any safe way" to avoid the dangers of suffocation and drowning, among other hazards. There are recorded instances of children fainting and crashing onto hard surfaces while inside the balls, and the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission has encouraged amusement ride officials not to allow their use. The Commission chairman declared an intention to pursue the safety investigation further. Charles Jones from Oklahoma developed a water ball commercially in 1998. He was invited by a British reporter to visit London to demonstrate the ball on a lake. As soon as he attempted to walk across the water, he lost his balance and fell. The ball deflated and filled rapidly with icy water. He was saved from sinking below the surface when an assistant dragged the ball back to dry land using a safety line.

For about 15 years I've wanted to do a Nativity Scene with Star Wars Action Figures. Well, one thing led to another, I met someone with a huge collection, and it turned into this. btw - Merry Christmas and great job with LBEH. I tossed in a few bucks... wish I had more to give. - rob

Hey, With Christmas just round the corner, i think you will like my latest infographic: How your Amazon Order Reaches You -- Thanks. Danny

The Yorkshire Terrier is a small dog breed of terrier type, developed in the 19th century in the county of Yorkshire, England to catch rats in clothing mills. The defining features of the breed are its size, 3 pounds (1.4 kg) to 7 pounds (3.2 kg), and its silky blue and tan coat. The breed is nicknamed Yorkie and is placed in the Toy Terrier section of the Terrier Group by the Fédération Cynologique Internationale and in the Toy Group or Companion Group by other kennel clubs, although all agree that the breed is a terrier. A popular companion dog, the Yorkshire Terrier has also been part of the development of other breeds, such as the Australian Silky Terrier.

Shaving cream is a substance that is applied to the face or wherever else hair grows, to provide lubrication and avoid razor burn during shaving. Shaving cream is often bought in a spray can, but can also be purchased in tubs or tubes. Shaving cream in a can is commonly dispensed as a foam or a gel. Creams that are in tubes or tubs are commonly used with a shaving brush to produce a rich lather (most often used in wet shaving). The cream itself commonly consists of a mixture of oil, soaps, surfactants, and water or alcohol, manufactured under carefully controlled conditions to ensure proper pH and consistency. In the late 1980s, shaving gel was developed that is dispensed from an aerosol can. In 1993 The Procter & Gamble Company patented a post-foaming gel composition, which turns the gel into a foam after application to the skin, combining properties of both foams and gels.

Eric Holder answers Fast and Furious charges by calling accusers racists - Holder's exact words: "This is a way to get at the President because of the way I can be identified with him... both due to the nature of our relationship and, you know, the fact that we're both African-American." Uh, no, how about because you're a fucking liar, and the decidions you've made have resulted in the death of at least one Federal agent and countless civilians.

A safari is an overland journey, usually a trip by tourists to Africa. Traditionally, the term is used for a big-game hunt, but today the term often refers to a trip taken not for the purposes of hunting, but to observe and photograph animals and other wildlife. Safaris have today diversified considerably from the initial fledgling expeditions of the pioneering European explorers and colonialists. Tourism is becoming an increasingly prevalent economic factor for many Southern African nations, in several regions surpassing traditional industries such as agriculture. Lending to specific conditions such as relative infrastructure or inherent geography countries such as Kenya, Botswana, Zambia, Namibia, Uganda, South Africa, Democratic Republic of the Congo and Zimbabwe advertise locally specialised safari experiences ranging from Guided Safaris, Mobile Safaris, Walking Safaris and Fly-In Safaris to more niche concepts including Elephant Back Safaris, River Safaris, Primate Safaris, Horseback Safaris, Balloon Safaris and Accessible Safaris for those with disabilities.

the year in funny: from can't explain that, to i love cats, right up to the pepper spraying cop

everything i enjoy is either immoral, fattening, expensive or impossible.

the year in fail: from mentos rockets to dropped cranes, right up to snowboarding into trees


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