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Ernie's House of Whoopass! December 23, 2011
December 23, 2011

Oh My, Is It Almost Christmas Already?

Current standings for Don't Shoot Your Eye Out -- Current leader is Paul with 9,857,539, followed cloesly -- very closely -- by Steve with 9,848,110. Remember your points roll over to 0 at 10,000,000 points, so 9,999,999 is the Holy Grail. And now, on to every "educational" Christmas picture i could get my grubby little hands on...

Christmas cookies are traditionally sugar biscuits and cookies (though other flavors may be used based on family traditions and individual preferences) cut into various shapes related to Christmas. Modern Christmas cookies can trace their history to recipes from Medieval Europe biscuits, which when many modern ingredients such as cinnamon, ginger, black pepper, almonds and dried fruit were introduced into the west. In the United States, since the 1930s, children have left cookies and milk on a table for Santa Claus on Christmas Eve, though many people simply consume the cookies themselves. The cookies are often cut into such shapes as those of candy canes, christmas trees, reindeer, and holly leaves.

Kenneth "Kenny" McCormick is a fictional character in the animated television series South Park. He is one of the four central characters along with his friends Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, and Eric Cartman. His oft-muffled and indiscernible speech—the result of his parka hood covering his mouth—is provided by co-creator Matt Stone. Prior to season six, Kenny died in almost every episode, with only a few exceptions. The nature of the deaths were often gruesome and portrayed in a comically absurd fashion, and usually followed by Stan and Kyle respectively yelling "Oh my God! They killed Kenny!" and "You bastards!" Shortly afterward, rats would commonly appear and begin picking at his corpse.

Remember this photo? Yeah, someone's life just got interesting.

Fireplace mantel or mantelpiece, also known as a chimneypiece, originated in medieval times as a hood that projected over a grate to catch the smoke. The term has evolved to include the decorative framework around the fireplace, and can include elaborate designs extending to the ceiling. Mantelpiece is now the general term for the jambs, mantel shelf, and external accessories of a fireplace. For many centuries, the chimneypiece was the most ornamental and most artistic feature of a room, but as fireplaces have become smaller, and modern methods of heating have been introduced, its artistic as well as its practical significance has lessened.

Felt is a non-woven cloth that is produced by matting, condensing and pressing woollen fibres. While some types of felt are very soft, some are tough enough to form construction materials. Felt can be of any color, and made into any shape or size. Many cultures have legends as to the origins of feltmaking. The story of Saint Clement and Saint Christopher relates that while fleeing from persecution, the men packed their sandals with wool to prevent blisters. At the end of their journey, the movement and sweat had turned the wool into felt socks. Feltmaking is still practised by nomadic peoples in Central Asia and northern parts of East Asia, where rugs, tents and clothing are regularly made. In the Western world, felt is widely used as a medium for expression in textile art as well as design, where it has significance as an ecological textile.

Here is a list of every corporation and organization that has come out in support of SOPA, courtesy of the House Judiciary Committee. There is already an online boycott being organized against GoDaddy, and I've already moved the 3 domains I had there over to the registrar of my other domains. Get involved, otherwise you might be next.

Nail polish has been traditionally worn by women, but has recently become more popular with men (BB Couture, Man Glaze, Evolution) Traditional colors for nail polish were red, pink and brown, and it can now be found in virtually any color. Some types of polish are advertised to cause nail growth, make nails stronger, prevent nails from breaking, cracking and splitting and stop nail biting. Nail polish may be applied as one of several components in a manicure. A popular type of nail polish is clear varnish. It is a transparent and glossy layer which can make the nails appear clean and shiny. This type of nail polish can be used over other varnish for gloss or by itself, as can glitter nail polish. French manicures traditionally mimic the color of natural nails, using a clear, beige or soft pink polish on most of the nail with a white finish at the tips.

Arm warmers are knitted 'sleeves' worn on the arms. Usually worn by dancers to warm up their bodies before class, they have also become somewhat of a fashion item, appearing in the fall. These arm warmers are virtually identical in fabric and style as those worn by dancers. Arm warmers can also describe any glove-like articles of clothing that lack finger coverings and/or were originally designed to keep wrists and lower arms warm. Today, many competition and sport bicyclists as well as distance runners/marathoners wear spandex-compression arm-warmers. Various sub-cultures, such as the punk, emo and goth subcultures, have also adopted arm warmers as a fashion statement. Stores such as Hot Topic sell arm warmers with chains and designs of skulls, piano keys, band logos, and other alternative inspired designs.

Christmas is right around the corner, and you know what that means: NFL cheerleading squads have busted out the Christmas themed uniforms. And not a moment too soon, because I think we were all getting pretty tired of looking at gorgeous cheerleaders in "everyday" skimpy outfits, weren't we? Okay, we weren't really tired of the regular skimpy outfits. But we do really like the skimpy Christmas ones, too. So today we're going to try to try to get everyone in the Christmas spirit with a countdown of the 15 best Christmas-themed cheerleader uniforms in the NFL. We'd have done a countdown of the 20 best Christmas cheerleader uniforms, but not all squads have them. Heck, not all teams have cheerleaders. So we did the best with what we've got. I think you'll like it.

A curtain rail is a device used to suspend curtains, usually above windows or along the edges of showers, though also wherever curtains might be used. When found in bathrooms, curtain rods tend to be telescopic and self-fixing, while curtain rods in other areas of the home are often affixed with decorative brackets or finial. Curtain rods can be made of many materials including- wood, metal and plastic. Curtain rods come in almost endless styles and designs. Not all curtain rods are simple straight poles, curved and hinged poles are available from numerous companies, allowing installation in bay windows and around curved walls and corners. New pin-on curtain finials are an example of a decorative curtain finial for use on any curtain rod.

A snow globe is a transparent sphere, usually made of glass, enclosing a miniaturized scene of some sort, often together with a model of a landscape. The sphere also encloses the water in the globe; the water serves as the medium through which the "snow" falls. To activate the snow, the globe is shaken to churn up the white particles. The globe is then placed back in its position and the flakes fall down slowly through the water. Snow globes sometimes have a built-in music box that plays a Christmas carol. Snow globes feature diverse scenes, ranging from the typical holiday souvenirs to more eclectic collectibles featuring Christmas scenes, Disney characters, popular icons, animals, military figures, historical scenes, etc.

Many of us built snowmen in our backyards when we were kids, but there are some who've taken the art of sculpting snow to a professional level. Around the world, there are festivals dedicated to this incredible art, and the annual extravaganza in Harbin, China is one of the grandest. In seasonal spirit, we present the most stunning snow sculptures seen in the Chinese city.

A cloak is a type of loose garment that is worn over indoor clothing and serves the same purpose as an overcoat; it protects the wearer from the cold, rain or wind for example, or it may form part of a fashionable outfit or uniform. Cloaks are as old as human history; there has nearly always been some form of long, unstructured outer garment used to protect people from the weather. Over time cloak designs have been changed to match current styles and textile needs. Cloaks generally fasten at the neck or over the shoulder, vary in length, from hip all the way down to the ankle, mid-calf being the normal length. They may have an attached hood, and may fasten down the front, in which case they have holes or slits for the hands to pass through. However, cloaks are almost always sleeveless.

A lollipop, pop, lolly, sucker, or sticky-pop is a type of confectionery consisting mainly of hardened, flavored sucrose with corn syrup mounted on a stick and intended for sucking or licking. They are available in many flavors and shapes. Lollipops are available in a number of colors and flavors, particularly fruit flavors. With numerous companies producing lollipops, the candy now comes in dozens of flavors and many different shapes. They range from small ones which can be bought by the hundred and are often given away for free at banks, barbershops, etc., to very large ones made out of candy canes twisted into a circle. The idea of an edible candy on a stick is very simple, and it is probable that the lollipop has been invented and reinvented numerous times. There is some speculation that lollipops were invented during the American Civil War, between 1861 and 1865. Others believe some version of the lollipop has been around since the early 1800's.

The Stuntbusters show how professional motorcycle stunt riders stage a crash without getting hurt.

Toilet paper when used with toilet roll holder with a horizontal axle parallel to the wall has two possible orientations: the toilet paper may hang over (in front) or under (behind) the roll. The choice is largely a matter of personal preference, dictated by habit. In surveys of American consumers and of bath and kitchen specialists, 60–70% of respondents prefer over. Despite its being a trivial topic, people often hold strong opinions on the matter. Advice columnist Ann Landers said that the subject was the most controversial issue in her column's history. Defenders of either position cite advantages ranging from aesthetics, hospitality, and cleanliness to paper conservation and the ease of detaching individual squares. Celebrities and experts are found on both sides. The reasons behind each person's choice have been analyzed by several studies with theories ranging from age, sex, socioeconomic status to political philosophy. It has also been suggested that preference for under may correlate with ownership of a recreational vehicle or a cat.

A wine rack is a device that stores and organizes wine. Wine racks can be built out of a number of different materials. The size of the rack and the number of bottles it can hold can vary widely. Wine racks can be located in a winemaker’s professional wine cellar as well as private homes for personal collections. Wood is the most popular medium when it comes to wine rack construction. It is easily obtainable and very workable. Many types of wood are used. Premium Redwood, All Heart Redwood, Mahogany, Pine, Red Oak, Cedar, and Fir are just a few of the various options. The wood, stain, and finish can vary greatly on the finished product so it is important to view wood swatches to determine the quality of the wood. Cedar is popular choice because of the aroma is gives off. This aroma is also its downfall. It can penetrate the wine via the cork. Fir is another popular choice. It also is very strong and comes in a natural cream color. Wood is also easily painted and sealed if individuals are looking for a more distinct look.

old and busted: 12 beards of christmas. the new hotness: 12 std's of christmas

the 11 most unintentionally creepy christmas ornaments

how do you know it was a rocking christmas party? santa pisses on the elevator

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

So Long, Lieutenant George Herbert Walker Bus...

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Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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