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Ernie's House of Whoopass! January 12, 2012
January 12, 2012

Somehow I Feel The Urge To Explain What A Dictaphone Is.

Lithography is a method for printing using a stone or a metal plate with a completely smooth surface. Invented in 1796 by Bavarian author Alois Senefelder as a cheap method of publishing theatrical works, lithography can be used to print text or artwork onto paper or other suitable material. In the 1890s color lithography became greatly popular with French artists, Toulouse-Lautrec most notably of all, and by 1900 the medium in both color and monotone was an accepted part of printmaking, although France and the US have used it more than other countries. The art of mounting a lithograph is generally performed by professional custom framers. It is done to conserve the artwork and its value and to prepare the artwork for framing. Mounting a lithograph will keep the art flat and hold it in place during the framing process, and it will remove wrinkles or creases prior to framing.

The Chevrolet Tahoe (and very similar GMC Yukon) are full-size SUVs from General Motors. In North America, the Tahoe is used by many law enforcement agencies, fire departments, and EMS agencies. Chevrolet currently offers two versions of the police package Tahoe; a four-wheel drive version and a two-wheel drive version. Chevrolet refers to the four-wheel drive (4WD) version as "Special Service Vehicle" (SSV). This version of the Tahoe can be used for all purposes except pursuits and high speed responses due to its high center of gravity, thus having a higher probability of rolling-over at high speeds. Chevrolet refers to the two-wheel drive version - also known as the rear-wheel drive version - as "Police Pursuit Vehicle" (PPV). This version of the Tahoe can be used for all purposes including pursuits and high speed responses. The center of gravity in this vehicle is lower than that of the four-wheel drive version and the ground clearance is about one inch less.

There are dozens of theories about how the Titanic sinking could have been prevented, from those who say they should have just rammed the iceberg head-on instead of trying to steer around it, to not taunting God prior to its first voyage. Human stupidity notwithstanding, most of the criticism focuses on the atrocious lack of safety features, but there is one obscure flaw that was intentionally designed. The laughably simple flaw: The center propeller didn't work in reverse. The Titanic had three steam-driven propellers, with the outer two driven by piston engines and the center screw driven by a steam turbine. Steam turbines have the advantage of generally being smaller and more efficient than their piston counterparts, but have the drawback of being one-way; that is, the steam can only flow forward and the shaft can only turn in one direction. So when First Officer Murdoch slammed the big girl into full reverse in order to avoid the iceberg, the outer two screws started turning the other way, while the center one just stopped. It sort of makes sense; if you're trying to go backward, you don't want one of your propellers still pushing you forward. However, the center screw was directly in front of the rudder, and shutting it down meant less water was washing over the rudder, which crippled the ship's handling.

Silicone injections are exactly what they sound like — injections of silicone into the body, and in this context generally (but not exclusively) to the male genitalia. The potential changes are, for lack of a better word, "monstrous." As far as male genital injections, circumference increases of as much as three hundred percent are definitely not unheard of. Done slowly, the level of sculpting that can be achieved is almost limitless. In general, this procedure is not reversible, at least without extensive invasive and damaging surgery. Speaking of monstrous silicone...

Hey Ernie, Funny Or Die’s new video stars Jason Alexander as a TV life coach whose guests are Internet starlet Courtney Stodden and her husband, actor Doug Hutchison. Thanks for your time! Greg, Marketing Manager, Funny Or Die

Ernie, If you are looking for anti-SOPA links here is a link I received that lets you send a fax to your congressman. Travis

A clothes iron, also referred to as simply an iron, is a small appliance used in ironing to remove wrinkles from fabric. Ironing works by loosening the ties between the long chains of molecules that exist in polymer fiber materials. With the heat and the weight of the ironing plate, the fibers are stretched and the fabric maintains its new shape when cool. Some materials such as cotton require the use of water to loosen the intermolecular bonds. Most ironing is done on an ironing board, a small, portable, foldable table with a heat resistant surface.

This is not going to be a hate letter to male athletes. This is not going to be a Kobe-bashing party. It is not going to be a place we all gather around to discuss how everybody cheats in professional sports. This is going to be a list of the sexiest women that just so happen to have been once dubbed, the "other" girl. We can thank Tiger Woods for bringing to light the issue that celebrities, athletes, and almost everyone cheats on their spouse. Or even multiple times, Shaq. Although most of these women have gone through the gauntlet for the past couple years, it is never too late to remind ourselves exactly why we love to look at them... they are sexy!

St George's Cross (or the Cross of St George) is a red cross on a white background used as a symbolic reference to Saint George. The red cross on white was associated with St George from medieval times. St George's Cross has been adopted on the coat of arms and flags of several countries and cities which have St George as a patron saint, notably England, Georgia, Aragon, Greece, Genoa and Barcelona. Like other countries with St George as a patron, the English frequently used St George's cross as their flag. During the first Crusade, the Pope decided that knights of different nationalities should be distinguished by different colours of cross. French knights were allocated the red cross on white. English knights complained about this, since they considered this to be "their" St George's cross. In 1188 the French King, Philip II of France accepted the English claim to the red cross on white, and the English and French officially exchanged their respective crosses. However by this time, the red cross on white had become a typical crusader symbol.

Hi Ernie. Here's another one in case it hasn't crossed your path. This video is fresh (for the public). It was made just six weeks ago in the Atlantic, just off Newport News (Hampton Roads), Virginia. These are the latest sea trials of the F-35B on the USS Wasp. They were very successful, with 74 VL's and STO's in a three week period. The media and the program critics had predicted that we would burn holes in the deck and wash sailors overboard. Neither of which happened. You will notice a sailor standing on the bow of the ship as the jet rotates. That was an intentional part of the sea trials. Mike

When the time comes to choose a college major, students consider a variety of factors, including income potential, difficulty, and, indeed, their aptitude and interest in the course. What should probably also be a major concern, though, is how likely your degree is to put you at risk of accident, injury and death. In light of this, here are the world's ten most dangerous college degrees.

A water tower or elevated water tower is a large elevated drinking water storage container constructed to hold a water supply at a height sufficient to pressurize a water distribution system. Pressurization occurs through the hydrostatic pressure of the elevation of water; for every 4 inches of elevation, it produces 0.145 psi of pressure. So 100 ft of elevation produces roughly 43.5 psi, which is enough pressure to operate and provide for most domestic water pressure and distribution system requirements. Acess to water towers is traditionally done via an external caged ladder mounted to one of the tower's support beams. A ladder cage is a series of circular safety hoops and vertical steel bars fastened to the stiles of fixed ladders. Cages enclose the path of a worker when climbing the ladder. Caged ladders do not require vertical lifeline fall protection by OSHA regulations. However, some consider the cages to be a potentially dangerous form of fall protection. This is because the ladder cage itself does not arrest the fall of a worker. Nor do cages help prevent a fall except in the case of a worker’s hands slipping off the rungs of the ladder. The cage system design merely restricts the movement of a worker falling backwards.

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