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Ernie's House of Whoopass! January 19, 2012
January 19, 2012

So, What Did YOU Do All Day Yesterday?

Now generally, I'm of the mind that internet protests are pretty fucking stupid. Don't-Buy-Gasoline-Day, Wear-Red-Day, Here-Sign-This-Petitition-Day... they're all fucking pointless. But I suppose that if there were any sort of online protest that was going to break that mold, it would be for an online cause. Amirite? And such was the case with yesterday's SOPA/PIPA blackout. Shit, even porn sites were joining in the protest. Now if you are completely fucking clueless about the whole SOPA/PIPA thing, here... the guy at The Oatmeal breaks it down for you in fucking cartoon form. What it really boilds down to is the fat cats at MPAA/RIAA want carte blanche to go after anyone that is infringing upon their copyrights, might be infringing upon their copyrights, is even thinking about infringing upon their copyrights, or perhaps knows somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody who is infringing upon their copyrights.

Former US Senator and current MPAA CEO Chris Dodd had this to offer regarding yesterday's blackout: "It is an irresponsible response and a disservice to people who rely on them for information and use their services. It is also an abuse of power given the freedoms these companies enjoy in the marketplace today. It's a dangerous and troubling development when the platforms that serve as gateways to information intentionally skew the facts to incite their users in order to further their corporate interests."

When I got to that last part, I damn near snorted coke out of my nose. "Further their corporate interests." Uh-huh. As if that asshole isn't the walking, talking wrinkled version of Corporate Interests. But fortunately, at least some of the yokels in Washingtonare getting their lines right, as the Senatorial support for PIPA seems to be faltering. PIPA co-sponsor, Utah Senator Orrin Hatch withdrew his support for PIPA, but that might just be part of his overall damage control strategy since he's taking heat on other fronts as well. And support fucking better be faltering, I spent about three hours on the phone trying to reach Florida Senator Bill Nelson's office yesterday. So far he seems to want to continue supporting PIPA, even though his younger and more intelligent colleage Senator Mark Rubio, had the sense to withdraw his support for PIPA yesterday morning. You can find out how your elected officials are voting by clicking here -- next on my list is Rep Connie Mack. The war continues, otherwise you'll be seeing this more often than you'd like.

Whether or not you are a fan of the man, you have to be a fan of his stance on the matter. Not the flat out detraction I wanted, but it still gets the job done. Derek

(Now...) Money's on the line. Which way will he go now? Jon

Oh, here's a story, and it's true. As I mentioned in the past, many moons ago I worked for a company called Frederick Computers Plus. No, not this far back -- although that's the only scrap of FCP Tech I could find on the web, aside from a few resume bullets -- more like a couple years after this era. Anyway, I was based out of the Massachusetts office, located in beautiful Reservoir Place in Waltham, MA. Usually once or twice a week one of our customers would require an onsite visit to facilitate repairs; occasionally a big the-sky-is-falling server rebuild, but more often than not, just a simple drive replacement. If someone lived out that way, they'd take the replacement part and perform the repair on their way home for the day. Other times the site was out in the middle of Bumbfuck East, and we'd all draw straws. I've replaced hard drives in MASSPORT offices out in the middle of nowhere, swapped out tape drives at Holyoke Public Schools, and on one occasion performed some maintenance patches on a VINES Server located in a little state office annex in... the Danvers State Hospital complex -- which some years later would become the inspiration for Batman's Arkham Asylum. The whole complex was empty (and couldn't really be seen through the trees) except for one building. An old ass brick building with what looked like a Home Simpson job at tying in electrical lines, and about three our four family cars parked out front. Even in the daytime, it was still spooky. I loaded those patches and got the fuck out of Dodge before the server had even finished rebooting.

Motorola RAZR is a series of clamshell mobile phones (also known as flip phones) by Motorola, and is one of the series in the 4LTR line. They were first developed in July 2003 and were released in the market in the third quarter of 2004. The team of the V3 put together a number of design choices that set the device apart from the competition. The phone had the thinnest profile at the time on a clamshell set, sported an electroluminescent keypad made out of a single metal wafer and used an industry standard mini USB port for data, battery charger and headphones, all in an aluminum body with an external glass screen. Because of its striking appearance and thin profile, it was initially marketed as an exclusive fashion phone, but within a year, its price was lowered and it was wildly successful, selling over 50 million units by July 2006. Over the RAZR's four-year run, Motorola sold more than 130 million units, becoming the best-selling clamshell phone in the world (and is still today).

The 2012 Australian Open has begun down in Melbourne, and a new tennis season is now officially underway. In celebration, I thought it would be nice to bring you a list of hot tennis players, which always seems to go over pretty well. However, I thought maybe everyone would be tired of the same old, same old. So instead of yet another list populated by the Sharapovas and the Wozniackis and the Ivanovices—some of the most googled female athletes in the world—I decided to a do a list of gorgeous tennis players at the Aussie Open that you've never even heard of.

The Jack Russell terrier is a small terrier that has its origins in fox hunting. The Jack Russell is a broad type, with a size range of 10–15 inches, the Parson Russell is limited only to a middle range with a standard size of 12–14 inches, while the Russell terrier is smaller at 8–12 inches, however each breed has different physical proportions according to the standards of their breed clubs. The skin can sometimes show a pattern of small black or brown spots, referred to as "ticking" that do not carry through to the outer coat. All coat types should be dense double coats that are neither silky (in the case of smooth coats) nor woolly (in the case of rough coats).

Guy freaks out after masturbating with lotion that was actually switched with Icy Hot. Trevor

Donkey punch is slang term for an apocryphal and potentially lethal sexual practice supposedly performed during anal or vaginal sex. The purported practice involves the penetrating partner punching the receiving partner in the back of the head or neck (what is known in boxing as a rabbit punch, after a technique to kill rabbits). The alleged goal is to cause the receiving partner's anal passage to tense up, thereby increasing the pleasure of the penetrating partner; however, there is no medical evidence that it works, or for that matter, any reason that it would. When used, the donkey punch is almost exclusively executed during or just before the orgasm of the penetrating partner.

Do you remember this sexy commercial for the new Fiat 500? Guess what? The joke is on you -- turns out that chick isn't Italian at all, but Romanian model Catrinel Menghia. And so while I'm not sure the little 500 is the right product to make it here in the big US of A, I have to tip my hat to Fiat as they've seem to got the marketing aspect down pat. Next up in their bag of tricks? These three Italian chicks serving up expressos. And I do love me some expresso.

The rosary provides a physical method of keeping count of the number of Hail Marys said. The fingers are moved along the Rosary beads as the prayers are recited. By not having to keep track of the count mentally, the mind is more able to meditate on the mysteries. A five decade rosary contains five groups of ten beads (a decade), with additional large beads before each decade. The Hail Mary is said on the ten beads within a decade, while the Our Father is said on the large bead before each decade. A new mystery is meditated upon at each of the large beads. Some rosaries, particularly those used by religious orders, contain 15 decades, corresponding to the traditional 15 mysteries of the rosary. Both five and 15 decade rosaries are attached to a shorter strand, which starts with a crucifix followed by one large, three small, and one large beads before connecting to the rest of the rosary.

Every day in the Thai province of Samut Songkhram, about 70 km southwest of Bangkok, a unique market is held whose vendors need feet as quick as their minds. Why? Because much of the market is located directly on a set of operational railway tracks. Eight times daily, a train runs through, sending vendors and visitors scrambling before business as usual resumes.

Although fluorescent lighting is an efficient source of light, it does have some safety issues. Fluorescent lamps have several hazards if broken. Depending on the type, there may be a partial vacuum or the lamp may be under pressure. Breaking the glass can cause shrapnel injuries, along with the release of mercury and other hazardous compounds. The biggest immediate injury threat from a broken lamp is from the phosphor-coated glass. If cut with fluorescent lamp glass, any phosphor that gets into the wound is likely to prevent blood clotting and will interfere with healing. Such injuries should be treated seriously and immediate medical attention should be obtained for people or pets that are cut. Understanding these issues can help guide the selection of the best types of fixture, lamp and location that can avoid many of these issues. A general rule of thumb is that any fluorescent fixture that uses lamps longer than 24" or that is to be used outdoors or in damp, wet or high-humidity locations (like commercial kitchens) must have an electrical ground for the fixture and ballast.

fourth amendment? we don't need no steenking fourth amendment

now i want to marry a russian gymnist - 8 settlements with a population of just one person


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