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Ernie's House of Whoopass! January 24, 2012
January 24, 2012

Goddamnit Woman, You Only Shoot People When They're Eatin' Supper Breakfast.

Man with 3' metal bar starts breaking windows at fast food restaurant. Police are called and respond to said fast food restaurant. As said police arrive, they see customers fleeing the restaurant, followed by said man with said 3' metal bar. Said police order said man to drop said 3' metal bar. Said man does not. Said police tazer said man with said 3' metal bar. Said man pulls out tazer barbs. Said man winds up to swing said metal bar at said police officer who deployed said tazer. Then? People with guns do what people with guns do when they're being attached by people with 3' metal bars. They shoot that muthaf*cka dead in what can only be described at the most justified shooting in the history of justified shootings. Kudos to the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department!

A certain degree of curvature of the penis is considered normal, as many men are born with this benign condition, commonly referred to as congenital curvature. Peyronie's Disease is a connective tissue disorder involving the growth of fibrous plaques in the soft tissue of the penis affecting up to 10% of men. Specifically, scar tissue forms in the tunica albuginea, the thick sheath of tissue surrounding the corpora cavernosa causing pain, abnormal curvature, erectile dysfunction, indentation, loss of girth and shortening. A variety of treatments have been used, but none have been especially effective.

If you need any fucking ideas for my birthday, this is it: a recap of Media Day at the Range for SHOT Show 2012. Featuring: 5.11 Tactical, Armalite Inc., Beretta USA, Caracal, Core 15, Dodge, EOTech, Franchi, KRISS, Predator Tactical, RAAC Firearms, SAR Arms, SWORD International, Springfield Armory, Steyr Arms, Strike Mark Targets, Surefire, and Sweden Entry Tools. Filmed on location at Boulder Rifle and Pistol Club in Boulder City, Nevada.

The Creation of Adam is a section of Michelangelo's fresco Sistine Chapel ceiling painted circa 1511. It illustrates the Biblical story from the Book of Genesis in which God the Father breathes life into Adam, the first man. Chronologically the fourth in the series of panels depicting episodes from Genesis on the Sistine ceiling, it was among the last to be completed. God is depicted as an elderly white-bearded man wrapped in a swirling cloak while Adam, on the lower left, is completely nude. God's right arm is outstretched to impart the spark of life from his own finger into that of Adam, whose left arm is extended in a pose mirroring God's, a reminder that man is created in the image and likeness of God. Another point is that Adam's finger and God's finger are not touching. It gives the impression that God, the giver of life, is reaching out to Adam and Adam is receiving.

Polystyrene is a petroleum-based plastic made from the styrene monomer. Most people know it under the name Styrofoam, which is actually the trade name of a polystyrene foam product used for housing insulation. Polystyrene is a light-weight material, about 95% air, with very good insulation properties and is used in all types of products from cups that keep your beverages hot or cold to packaging material that keep your computers safe during shipping. The biggest environmental health concern associated with polystyrene is the danger associated with styrene, the basic building block of polystyrene. Acute health effects are generally irritation of the skin, eyes, and upper respiratory tract, and gastrointestinal effects. Styrene is classified as a possible human carcinogen by the EPA and by the International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC).

Hello Ernie, Best regards here in the new year and a tip of the hat to ya for another successful LBEH campaign. I know going back to the days of Daisy the burn dog that you sometimes come to the aid of man's best friend and rally the EHOWA faithful behind a good cause. Recently in my area some shit-for brains, crackhead type tied his six month old pit bull to the back of his truck, dragged it down the road and apparently left it for dead. Animal control found the dog alive but in dire straits. The dog stands a good chance of making it; but as you might imagine will require a lot of work at the vet to be brought back to health. I thought this might be one of those cases we could get behind and help throw some fundage at the local vet that is caring for this dog they have named Malichai. Check out the links below, including the TV story that includes the scumbag's arrest on felony animal torture charges. I've also included a link to the vet clinic for contact information. Thanks, Chip. Bowling Green, KY

"That is when I realized I didn't have my dog no more. I even went looking for him and everything. People are saying they wish they knew who did it and all that, but they just don't know the real story. They weren't there. All they know is what they've seen." Really? The old National Lampoon's Vacation defense? Listen, I'm all for an eye for an eye in these case. No jail time for this guy. No probation, no fines of any kind. Just chain his neck to a bumper and drag him until you've ground off between 30 and 50 percent of his skin. Then stop, unchain him, and leave him on the side of the road with no medical attention. Debt to society paid in full.

We have rules. We have a government. Most of us wear pants. We have television shows and movies, and the enviable luxury to complain about those things. Looking around, it's easy to call us civilized. But we're animals. We're dirty, dirty animals. Given the right context, we'll abandon all of society's rules and live like the crappy bastard animals we all are. Here are five of those right contexts.

Sand art is the practice of modelling sand into an artistic form, such as a sand brushing, sand sculpture, sandpainting, or sand bottles. A sand castle is a type of sand sculpture resembling a miniature building, often a castle. The two basic building ingredients, sand and water, are available in abundance on a sandy beach, so most sand play takes place there, or in a sandpit. Tidal beaches generally have sand that limits height and structure because of the shape of the sand grains. Good sand sculpture sand is somewhat dirty, having silt and clay that helps lock the irregular shaped sand grains together. Sand castles are typically made by children, simply for the fun of it, but there are also sand sculpture contests for adults that involve large, complex constructions.

Livistona chinensis, the Chinese fan palm or fountain palm, is a species of subtropical palm tree in eastern Asia. It is native to Southern Japan, Taiwan and several islands in the South China Sea. Livistona chinensis can attain heights of about 30 to 50 feet and a spread of 12 feet. The leaves are fan shaped. The palm is cultivated in the tropical and subtropical specialty plant nursery industry for use as ornamental trees in gardens and conservatories. This plant can become a weed, or in some ecosystems an invasive species - such as in Florida wetlands and on some Caribbean Islands.

Hey Ernie, i don't know if someone sent this already, but here! Shooting a .950 caliber rifle. Cheers, Charley

Ernie, I was on Google and wanted to check on liquor laws in Texas. As I was typing in "can you obtain a permit in Texas to make whiskey." Google decided to auto fill in search parameters below the search bar. WTF are people searching for out there? I had to grab a screenshot. Bret

Truck bedliners are coverings that protect the inner-side of a truck bed from damage and can prevent fine-grained cargo such as sand from sifting between the sides and the rear door. Such bedliners are of two types: the plastic drop-in and the permanent spray on type.

Normally, an athlete is suppose to be more concerned with the level of his or her play than the clothes in his or her closet. It used to be all about the skills and had little to do with how an athlete was dressed, until recently. Serena and Venus Williams were not the first people to wear risque outfits during a tennis match, but they were the first to push the envelope of what is allowed. They have worn everything from lingerie to skin-tight spandex on the tennis court. And why? Because they can. The women on this list have all worn clothing at one point in their careers that we all enjoyed more so than their actual play. These outfits can only be described as risque, but at the same time, sexy. Hint: keep your eyes peeled for Tanith Belbin.

Fitting rooms, or "dressing rooms", are rooms where people try on clothes, such as in a department store. The rooms are usually individual rooms in which a person tries on clothes to determine fit before making a purchase. People do not always use the fitting rooms to change, as to change implies to remove one set of clothes and put on another. Sometimes a person chooses to try on clothes over their clothes, but would still like to do this in private. Thus fitting rooms may be used for changing, or just for fitting without changing.

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federal official in arizona to plead the fifth and refuse to answer questions on fast and furious

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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