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The Road To Hell is Paved With Good Intentions.

An ant mill is an observed phenomenon in which a group of army ants separated from the main foraging party lose the pheromone track and begin to follow one another, forming a continuously rotating circle. The ants will eventually die of exhaustion. This has been reproduced in laboratories and the behaviour has also been produced in ant colony simulations. This phenomenon is a side effect of the self-organizing structure of ant colonies. Each ant follows the ant in front of it, and this will work until something goes wrong and an ant mill forms. An ant mill was first described by William Beebe in 1921 who observed a mill 1,200 feet in circumference. It took each ant 2.5 hours to make one revolution. Similar phenomena have been noted in processionary caterpillars, fish, and now evidently, sheep.

I Will Never Look At An Electrical Outlet The Same Ever Again.

The Samsung Galaxy S II is a smartphone running under the Android operating system that was announced by Samsung on February 13, 2011 at the Mobile World Congress. It is the successor to the Samsung Galaxy S, with a different appearance and significantly improved hardware. The Galaxy S II was one of the slimmest smartphones of the time, mostly 8.49 mm thick, except for two small bulges which take the total thickness of the phone to 9.91 mm. On the back of the device is an 8-megapixel Back-illuminated sensor camera with single-LED flash that can record videos in full high-definition 1080p at 30 frames per second. There is also a fixed focus front-facing 2-megapixel camera for video calling, taking photos as well as general video recording, with a maximum resolution of VGA (640×480).

They Have Completely DESTROYED Their Brand In Less Than 72 Hours.

And remember, the Susan G Komen foundation didn't cut off their funding to Planned Parenthood because of their new VP Karen Handel's uber conservative anti-abortion political grandstanding, but because of a new policy regarding Planned Parenthood is being investigated by Congress. All this from the folks who have so much money, they'll sue your non-profit if you include the phrase "for the cure." CLEARLY, they have so much money now, that they don't need mine any longer. And so normally while I'm very pro-gun, I do wish they'd stick their pink guns up their ass, along with any other fucking items under the sun they want to pink-wash in an effort to bilk funds from people. The only stupid thing left for the Komen Fund to do is buy the DVD rental business from Netflix. So with any luck, that Karen Handel cunt will get ass cancer.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

They Might Have Won If They Kept Tiquan Underwood.

You know, I sat here this morning and spent a good ten minutes trying to figure out who I hates more, pretty boy Tom Brady or classless Bill Belichick. Hell if I could come up with an answer, so I guess I hate them both equally? And on a related note, if SOPA/PIPA had passed, that father would have been facing a 5 year jail sentence plus a hefty fine up to $15,000,000, all in the name of copyright infringement.

Schadenfreude. From the German words, Schaden and Freude, Damage and Joy.

Watch as this breast cancer survisor lays the complete fucking smackdown on the Susan G Komen foundation and explains just what what her breast cancer is, and is not. And in related news, so long, CUNT.

Wow, Is That A Second Generation iPad?

A British woman who served with the Royal Air Force for the last two months of World War I was the last known veteran of the war when she died in her sleep Saturday night. Florence Green joined the RAF at the age of 17 and died just before her 111th birthday, which would have been Feb. 19. She had been a mess steward with the air force, the BBC reported, serving in two U.K. air bases after she joined up on Sept. 13 1918. The Allies signed the armistice with Germany on Nov. 11, 1918. Green follows Claude Choules, a Royal Navy sailor who was the last WWI combatant before he died in May 2011, and Frank Buckles, the last American veteran of the war, who died in February 2011. So long, Florence Green, we hardly knew ye.

It's The Darkroom Where Satan Develops His Negatives.

William Gary Busey, best known as Gary Busey, is an American film and stage actor, and artist. On December 4, 1988, Busey was severely injured in a motorcycle accident in which he was not wearing a helmet. His skull was fractured, and doctors feared he suffered permanent brain damage. At the recommendation of Dr. Drew Pinsky, Busey was seen by psychiatrist Dr. Charles Sophy. Sophy suspected that Busey's brain injury has had a greater effect on him than realized. He described it as essentially weakening his mental "filters" and causing him to speak and act impulsively. Sophy recommended Busey take a medication called Depakote (valproic acid), to which Busey agreed. Despite appearing in over 70 feature films -- some some quite normal -- a shout out to Julio Iglesias by the way -- and some not so normal, Busey recently filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy Tuesday, revealing debts that far outweigh his assets. In court papers, the actor indicates that he has $50,000 or less in assets, while his liabilities are somewhere in the $500,000 to $1 million range. And it was on Jimmy Kimmel Live where Gary exposed his plans to become a meat seeking missile. And in case you need a refresher, this is the Meatloaf blowup he was talking about, although this is how I choose to remember Meatloaf. You know what FEAR stands for? It stands for 'False Evidence Appearing Real.' It's the darkroom where Satan develops his negatives. YEAH!

Two In The Pink, One In The Stink... And Two In The Red?

The M1911 is a single-action, semi-automatic, magazine-fed, and recoil-operated handgun chambered for the .45 ACP cartridge. John M. Browning designed the firearm which was the standard-issue side arm for the United States armed forces from 1911 to 1985. The M1911 is still carried by some U.S. forces. It was widely used in World War I, World War II, the Korean War, and the Vietnam War. The M1911 is the best-known of John Browning's designs to use the short recoil principle in its basic design. Besides the pistol being widely copied itself, this operating system rose to become the preeminent type of the 20th century and of nearly all modern centerfire pistols. It is popular with civilian shooters in competitive events such as USPSA, IDPA, International Practical Shooting Confederation, and Bullseye shooting. Compact variants are popular civilian concealed carry weapons, because of the design's inherent slim width and the power of the .45 ACP cartridge, as this angry father demonstrates. Kudos to you, dad!

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

Where Is Erpic Beard Man When You Need Him.

The original screen ratio for television broadcasts was 4:3. When preparing a film that was originally intended to be displayed in widescreen for television broadcast the material was often edited with the sides truncated, using a technique called pan and scan. Widescreen images are a variety of aspect ratios used in film, television and computer screens. In film, a widescreen film is any film image with a width-to-height aspect ratio greater than the standard 1.37:1 Academy aspect ratio provided by 35mm film. For television, the original screen ratio for broadcasts was 4:3. In the 2000s, 16:9 TV displays came into wide use. They are typically used in conjunction with high-definition television (HDTV) receivers, or Standard-Definition (SD) DVD players and other digital television sources.

Happy Valentine's Day To All My Bitches.

On the morning of Thursday, February 14, 1929, St. Valentine's Day, five members of the North Side Gang, plus gang collaborators Reinhardt H. Schwimmer and John May, were lined up against the rear inside wall of the garage at 2122 North Clark Street, in the Lincoln Park neighborhood of Chicago's North Side, and executed. The murders were committed by gangsters allegedly hired from outside the city by the Al Capone mob so they would not be recognized by their victims. Two of the shooters were dressed as uniformed police officers, while the others wore suits, ties, overcoats and hats, according to witnesses who saw the "police" leading the other men at gunpoint out of the garage after the shooting. John May's German Shepherd, Highball, who was leashed to a truck, began howling and barking, attracting the attention of two women who operated boarding houses across the street. One of them, Mrs. Landesman, sensed that something was dreadfully wrong and sent one of her roomers to the garage to see what was upsetting the dog. The man ran out, sickened at the sight. Frank Gusenberg was still alive after the killers left the scene and was rushed to the hospital shortly after police arrived at the scene. When the doctors had Gusenberg stabilized, police tried to question him but when asked who shot him, he replied "Nobody shot me", despite having sustained fourteen bullet wounds. Gusenberg died three hours later, refusing to utter a word about the identities of the killers. It is believed that the St. Valentine's Day Massacre resulted from a plan devised by members of the Capone gang to eliminate George 'Bugs' Moran due to the rivalry between the two gangs. And if you don't have time to watch that entire movie, here's the big payoff with all of the bad guys using Chicago Typewriters. But not in the third sence of the phrase

Go Back To Your Home On Whore Island. Yeah, Both Of You.

Check this out. Two sick dogs walk into a human hospital and end up getting the medical care they desperately need. It may sound bizarre, but it happened Friday at Christus Spohn Shoreline. That's right; like a boss.

Let Me Tell You The Ongoing Saga of My Father's Gun

As a kid I remember my father always wanting a nickel plated snub nosed .38 revolver. But being the blue collar working man with three kids to feed, my father's first handgun was not the match for the "Nobody Ever Raped a .38" license plate he had down on his workbench in the cellar, but a Sentinel .22 Magnum revolver. It wasn't until several years later that my two brothers teamed up for Christmas and bought my father a Smith and Wesson Model 36 that he really achieved firearm bliss. And this was many fucking moons ago, I want to say I was around 10-12 years old, and I think I may have contributed a token bit of money towards the purchase, probably barely enough to cover the sales tax. Of course this being New York, they couldn't actually give the gun to my father, no, that could only result in a crime spree and bloodbath the likes of which the Empire State had never seen before. No, they could only put the receipt for said gun into a card and give him that, since my father had to show up in person with his pistol permit and register his new heater with the State. But grandstanding aside, suffice to say my father was very moved by my brother's gift and openly cried on Christmas morning. In the following days, months, and years cleaned and recleaned his new firearm with tender hands; and the funny part is I don't ever remember him ever firing it. Not at the range, not out in the woods, not ever. Anyway true fact: that .38 was the first handgun I ever held, even though he had that Sentinal for many years prior.

Business Bad? Fuck You, Pay Me. Oh, You Had A Fire? Fuck You, Pay Me. Place Got Hit By Lightning? Fuck You, Pay Me.

Personal space is the region surrounding a person which they regard as psychologically theirs. Most people value their personal space and feel discomfort, anger, or anxiety when their personal space is encroached. Permitting a person to enter personal space and entering somebody else's personal space are indicators of perception of the relationship between the people. There is an intimate zone reserved for lovers, children and close family members. There is another zone used for conversations with friends, to chat with associates, and in group discussions; a further zone is reserved for strangers, newly formed groups, and new acquaintances; and a fourth zone is used for speeches, lectures, and theater; essentially, public distance is that range reserved for larger audiences. Entering somebody's personal space is normally an indication of familiarity and at times of intimacy.

Insert Your Favorite Does He Looks Like A Bitch Joke Here.

Officeholders Are The Agents Of The People, Not Their Masters. - Grover Cleveland

And this my friends, is why we're all fucked in 2012. If things keep going like this, I'm not even sure it'll be worth voting anymore.

I'm Gonna Get Me Big Baby.

First off, a correction to the Ongoing Saga of my Father's Gun: for some fucking reason, whenever I talk (or type) about it, I call it a S&W Model 36. It's not, it's a Model 64. How the hell that 64 keeps turning into a 36 in my head, I'll never know. It's not until I look at the goddamn Post-It note stuck to my desk that I remember it's a 64-2. Not that it really matters, since both guns are values around the same ballpark, although the 64 tends to run about $100 less -- about $400-$500 depending upon condition -- versus $500-$600 for the Model 36. Keep in mind they only gave my father $213 for it, but hey, caveat emptor. Just wanted to clear that up. Anyway.

Warmer. Warmer. Warmer. Warmer. Waaaaarrmer. Ok, Cold Again.

So yesterday I call back a certain Fort Mohave gun shop, ask for Ray and thank Christ he's in. Ray, I was a little surprised with the number that New Owner threw out there, I was expecting something more in the $700-$750 range. "Yeah, me too," he says. But, Ray assured me that the gun is in fantastic shape, all original, all the blueing is perfect (?) and he'd be happy to send me photos of the gun, so I can take a closer look at the cylinder and whether it is or is not machined out. Okey doke, will do. So a few hours tick by -- remember they're three hours behind me here on the East coast -- and around 6pm my time my phone buzzes with some incoming SMS messages. It's Ray. Sorry the pics are late (no problemo) here are two pics -- one - two -- of your father's gun. Uhhh. Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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